Just when I think I've come a long way in processing my birth, something will happen and I'll be swept over by a wave of jealousy.
I was at the grocery store this afternoon with DH. I saw a woman there with another baby around the same age. I realized I'd seen her at a mom's group during my prenatal days. She didn't recognize me, but I remembered her. The first thought I had was- I bet she had a dream birth.
Of course I don't know that for a fact. Maybe she didn't. But in that moment I was sure she did. I was sure her experience was better and that she didn't go through months of recovery hell and post partum ptsd. I felt like she probably enjoyed her baby sooner, and as a result, her life was just better in every way that mattered.
I want to not feel like that when I see other moms. I want to be able to be positive when I hear positive birth stories. But I will admit it. There is always a part of me that is insanely jealous.