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Haven't been posting much...

post #1 of 5
Thread Starter 
I haven't been posting here much at all. I just am not feeling much of a connection with this baby yet. I'm happy about it, just not, I don't know, convinced, maybe? I kept thinking "once I feel it moving more," and then "once we know the sex," (that's when it really kicked in w/ DD), but it's just not happening. Plus we found out it's a girl. Nothing against girls (I love & adore the one I have!), but I've *always* wanted a son, and since we won't be having any more, the disappointment is a lot stronger this time. Didn't help that until we found out, my MIL kept swearing up & down it was a boy. Every time she said it I just wanted to scream at her for getting my hopes up. I was pretty sure she was wrong (that generation of DH's family is pretty devoid of boys), but she was so adamant, I couldn't help but hope a little, you know?

On top of that, last time things didn't exactly go well (severe preeclampsia, unwanted, though very much needed, c-section), so there's that additional fear that we'll end up there again. I'm not overly stressed about it, but it is in the back of my mind.

Ugh. I don't know what my point is, but I'm thinking if I maybe start posting more & talking to other people who are pg, I'll get into it more. My neighbor keeps telling me how excited she is (especially since we told her it's a girl) and it just makes me feel worse. And annoyed. Seriously annoyed. Grr.
post #2 of 5

I'm having a hard time getting into and excited about this baby too.  Quite awhile goes by and then I think, oh yeah, there is a baby in there.  We found out we are having a girl and I really thought it was going to be a boy.  I have one of each already though and we will most likely have another baby.  So I'm not sure why I feel weird about it being a girl.  I think with each pregnancy it can become both easier and harder to connect.  Easier, because you've done it before you know the end result and you aren't as unsure about becoming a parent or whatever other feelings you might have.  But harder because your focus is now on your other child(ren) and not just the one inside of you.  It's hard to remember to slow down and enjoy the pregnancy.  I did not have pre-e with my first, but near the end of my pregnancy I did get high BP and protein in my urine and I got put on bedrest.  With my second, none of that happened.  I have a friend who had pre-e with her first and not her second or third.  So try not to get too nervous about that, you will hopefully be fine!  I know it's hard not to think about though.

post #3 of 5
Originally Posted by Okapi View Post

I haven't been posting here much at all. I just am not feeling much of a connection with this baby yet.

Aw mama, I hear you. hug.gif


I was feeling this way for quite a long time this pregnancy, even though it was totally planned and wanted. Up until about 14 or 15 weeks or so I was feeling kind of ambivalent about this baby. I think what the PP said about having to focus on your other kids had a lot to do with how I was feeling, plus I was just SO SO sick for those first few months.


I can understand how you are feeling about wanting a boy and this being your last pregnancy. Maybe you could buy something special for this baby- since you probably have a lot of hand-me-downs from your other girls. Even though it's another girl, all babies are so different and precious in their own way. Even though I am really busy with my other two kids all day, I try to find at least a few minutes each day to at least say Hi to my baby (I know it's sounds cheesy), and check in with him or her. It's helped me to become more excited and confidant in our decision to have a 3rd baby.


As for the Pre-E, google "Brewer Diet". There is a school of thought that preeclampsia is caused, and can be prevented, and possibly even cured by diet. I haven't done a ton of research on it myself, but there is a lot of info out there about it. 

post #4 of 5
Thread Starter 
Thanks, ladies smile.gif I think just writing it all out & posting helped. I've talked about it a little w/ DH, but I don't think he really gets it.
post #5 of 5

I don't really feel a connection while pregnant.  *shrugs* It is what it is.  I do enjoy spending time with other parents, whether with our kids or not.  If you want to hang out at all, feel free to PM me.  It's nice to focus on other things--coffeeshops, park playdates, garden plans (which are majorly scaled down this year).  


I sometimes go to birth circle and LLL, but I'm certainly less connected this time around to the community at large.  


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