I haven't been posting here much at all. I just am not feeling much of a connection with this baby yet. I'm happy about it, just not, I don't know, convinced, maybe? I kept thinking "once I feel it moving more," and then "once we know the sex," (that's when it really kicked in w/ DD), but it's just not happening. Plus we found out it's a girl. Nothing against girls (I love & adore the one I have!), but I've *always* wanted a son, and since we won't be having any more, the disappointment is a lot stronger this time. Didn't help that until we found out, my MIL kept swearing up & down it was a boy. Every time she said it I just wanted to scream at her for getting my hopes up. I was pretty sure she was wrong (that generation of DH's family is pretty devoid of boys), but she was so adamant, I couldn't help but hope a little, you know?
On top of that, last time things didn't exactly go well (severe preeclampsia, unwanted, though very much needed, c-section), so there's that additional fear that we'll end up there again. I'm not overly stressed about it, but it is in the back of my mind.
Ugh. I don't know what my point is, but I'm thinking if I maybe start posting more & talking to other people who are pg, I'll get into it more. My neighbor keeps telling me how excited she is (especially since we told her it's a girl) and it just makes me feel worse. And annoyed. Seriously annoyed. Grr.