Can my ex take me to court because I feed our son a vegan diet?

[bookworm78]

Hi everyone. I used to post on the birth month boards all the time when my son was first born. He's now a very healthy 5 year old and I need your advice again.

About 6 months ago I changed my own diet to a vegan diet. I was much slower changing my son's diet. Over the past 6 months I have been phasing out meats and dairy (not that he ate that much to begin with) and replacing them with fresh vegetables and fruit and whole grains, beans, nuts, etc. He now eats 75% vegan, 100% vegetarian. We are very committed to a plant-based, whole foods diet, rather than a processed diet.

My son's father (my ex) isn't happy with the new "diet" and thinks it is hurting our son. He said he is willing to "fight" for what he believes in. So my question is, can he take me to court over this? Right now we have shared parenting agreement with each parent getting close to 50% parenting time each week. If he does take me to court, how can I defend a plant-based diet for our son? At least while he is in my care? I'm afraid he's going to try and get full custody over this. 

[SundayCrepes]

My experience with the court system is a lot depends on who has the nastiest attorney.

That said, I doubt that much would come of this for a couple reasons.

A lot of stuff like this is considered lifestyle choices and the courts won't touch them.

If you have 50% visitation, that means 50% of the time your son is eating whatever his dad thinks is healthy. Nutrition is not an hour by hour thing, it is an overall picture. That means your son is eating meat, potato chips, and sodas, or whatever your ex considers to be healthy. Assuming those nutrients were essential for growth, he is getting them while he's with his dad.

You may want to talk to your pediatrician. If your pediatrician has no issues with the diet (especially since your ex is feeding him other stuff,) then there's very little support for any concerns. Especially if your child is growing on a normal curve, is active, and doing well with milestones/learning.

You could ask your pediatrician to do some bloodwork. When we had to put our vegetarian 3 year old on a dairy free diet, I was concerned about B12. Even though she eats eggs, I didn't know if that would be enough. We had bloodwork done on her and our (then) 5 year old (who did do dairy.) The pediatrician's office called to tell us to stop giving our kids B12 supplements because their levels were so high. Ummm...no supplements besides fortified rice milk.

Maybe read: http://www.amazon.com/Complete-Idiots-Guide-Vegan-Eating/dp/1592579787/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1330495069&sr=8-1

 http://www.amazon.com/Becoming-Vegan-Complete-Adopting-Plant-Based/dp/1570671036/ref=sr_1_2?ie=UTF8&qid=1330494446&sr=8-2

[FrugalGranolaMom]

I agree with speaking to your pediatrician and getting medical documentation on your side. As long as your son is healthy, getting the right amount of nutrients and developing normally, I don't see this as something that would cause you to lose your share of custody.

[ColoradoHELLP]

Sure, he could take you to court. One can file for just about anything.

I third the bloodwork documentation. And I would also document your child's meals on a daily basis. You might also consider documenting the studied and proven health benefits of each food that you feed. Consider developing a written a plan on how you intend to meet his dietary needs through careful meal planning and balanced nutrition via each of the foods you incorporate into his diet.

This way, should your ex choose to file, you will be coming armed with loads of data that has been compiled over time. You look educated, organized, and well-researched. Your ex looks paranoid. :-)

[SundayCrepes]

I was just doing a search on the American Journal of Clinical Nutrition. http://www.ajcn.org/ I searched "vegetarian" and there are about 1200 studies. Amongst the first ten that came up were a couple on vegetarian/vegan kids. Guess what, says they're healthy. 

So, medical science is on your side.

[nicolelynn]

The American Dietetic Association says vegan diets are perfectly fine. Pretty sure they are THE authority on nutrition as far as courts are concerned. Blood work and a written diet plan could only help, as others have mentioned. Unless your child is unhealthy or looks incredibly malnourished you have science on your side. 

[BrownVegan]

I don't have any advice but ((hugs))). I really hope everything works out for you & your son.

[happy1nluv]

i hope he's laughed out of court.

dr joel fuhrman wrote disease proof your kids ... it has lots of good kid specific info :)