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Queer Conceptions March 2012 - Page 8

post #141 of 349

SkyandTru- CONGRATULATIONS!!!! broc1.gifcarrot.gifbanana.gifbroc1.gifcarrot.gifbanana.gif broc1.gifcarrot.gifbanana.gif broc1.gifcarrot.gifbanana.gif broc1.gifcarrot.gifbanana.gif broc1.gifcarrot.gifbanana.gif broc1.gifcarrot.gifbanana.gif broc1.gifcarrot.gifbanana.gif broc1.gifcarrot.gifbanana.gif broc1.gifcarrot.gifbanana.gif broc1.gifcarrot.gifbanana.gif broc1.gifcarrot.gifbanana.gif broc1.gifcarrot.gifbanana.gif broc1.gifcarrot.gifbanana.gif broc1.gifcarrot.gifbanana.gif


Carmen- What do you mean by "disturbed" temps? I am sorry that you are still spotting. I hope your body gets on the right track soon.


Nos- Sorry about your BFN. It sounds like your DP had perfect timing and yay for such a high sperm count.


Allison- I hope your DP is right and that she is pregnant!!! Good Luck. Remind me, do you guys wait it out or test?


Amt- Sorry about AF. 


Rs- My fingers are crossed for you guys.


AFM- Another BFN at 13 DPO yesterday morning and I didn't test this morning. My temps are still high but I am pretty sure AF is on her way, even though I haven't had any cramping or spotting or any other signs of her. If she doesn't come today then I will test tomorrow. I hope I can find out for sure either way because we are going to visit some friends this weekend and I would love to "welcome" AF with a few glasses of wine while I am with them if she does come. I am feeling ready to move forward and see about our next steps. I made an appt. for DW and I to meet with RE this Tuesday.


I wish you all a very happy, sunny weekend. flowersforyou.gif

post #142 of 349

Congrats, SkyandTru! Happy and healthy nine months to you!


I tested this morning at 9 DPO. This was the day I got my BFP when I was pregnant with DD. Today, negative.:( I know it's really early, but I don't feel pregnant, and I'm pretty sure this cycle is a bust. I'm consoling myself by making an appointment with the fertility clinic for our next try. I think I want to let someone else be in charge next time. And, we only have three vials of sperm left (we had bought a bunch with DD, so even though we swapped donors, we had credit for the sperm), so I want to try and get pregnant before we burn through all that and have to start buying new vials. Is it reasonable to move to a clomid cycle now? I feel like I probably could get pregnant if we kept trying on our own, but I just want to move this process along, preferably before we need to start coming up with the $$$ for more sperm. (My insurance will pay for IUIs and meds, but not for the sperm, so that's part of the equation too...)


Hope everyone's feeling okay today.

post #143 of 349

ACK, there is no way I can keep up with this thread--it does make me feel good that my DD is no longer a tiny minority as a child of two moms :)


SO, I'll try to keep up with whatever is the last page whenever I have the minute to look!  It looks like someone had a BFP!! YAY!


Hopeful and Angela, we also decided that working with the fertility clinic was most expedient for us.  We are going that route again this time, it just seems to work for us to put it in someone else's hands to a certain extent.


AFU--My second post partum cycle did not seem to have an ovulation (according to VERY regular OPK testing)--but the third one did! So I am waiting now to see if AF shows up in one more week indicating a more or less normal luteal phase.  If the timing of the next cycle works out we will have a U/S when the OPK turns positive and possibly an insemination.  Otherwise we will wait til the next cycle.  I haven't been temping because I don't think I ever sleep for 4 hours.  However, at 15m appointment for DD today, she has a pretty good ear infection and is now on her first ever antibiotic--perhaps we will all sleep a little better in a few days!

post #144 of 349

Angela, totally ok to move to Clomid!  On our first cycle with the clinic (after months of KD at-home tries), the doc asked if we wanted to do natural or have some help. At $1500 / mth for sperm, we said, help please! After low dose Clomid and trigger shot, we had a BFP!  :)

post #145 of 349
Originally Posted by dandylez View Post

Angela, totally ok to move to Clomid!  On our first cycle with the clinic (after months of KD at-home tries), the doc asked if we wanted to do natural or have some help. At $1500 / mth for sperm, we said, help please! After low dose Clomid and trigger shot, we had a BFP!  :)

Thanks. This is exactly what I needed to hear.:)

post #146 of 349

Woohoo!!!  Congrats SkyandTru!!!!  broc1.gifcarrot.gifbanana.gif


Angela: sorry to hear it looks like a bust for you.  Good luck with the Clomid!  :)


Hopeful: sorry to hear it looks like another round is up for you guys.  :(  As for my DW, she is now able to hold herself back to start on DPO 10.  :)


AFU: So, today is DPO 10, and BFN.  I'm not surprised.  My gut says that it's another BFN, but I've become INCREDIBLY pessimistic this cycle as the days have worn on, so maybe I'm just being a grumpy old married lady?  ROTFLMAO.gifMy only concern is that DW threw her back out the other day and so she HAD to take something for the pain.  I hate this, this is the SECOND TIME where I was massively hopeful we'd get our BFP and DW throws herself into some kind of health crisis (December it was the overwhelming post-christmas abdominal pain, messy leftovers from having her gallbladder removed almost 2 years ago).  WHY WHY WHY can't we just have a cycle where I'm happy and hopeful and DON'T have to make a choice between treating my wife to reduce pain and potentially totally gorking a tiny embryo.  Or preventing implantation.  This is NOT helping me keep my stress under control.  


So if it's gonna be a BFN for us, she'll start spotting today or tomorrow.  Her temps are totally wonky, but did dip today. I am displeased, but have already given up.  DW is a little more hopeful than me, although this morning she said she was going to be extra sad if this cycle doesn't work.  God help us, I have to go back to work on Sunday and it's very difficult to leave your sobbing wife at home so that you can go and earn money to keep trying...  woohoooooooo.  


End bitter grumpy rant.  :)

post #147 of 349

YAY for the BFP! 

FX for the TWW-ers. 



Hopeful - I hope you're totally wrong about AF, but I hope you have some wine on hand "just in case." 


Nos - so sorry to hear this cycle wasn't your month. With all the traveling you're doing for your treatment, it must be taking a toll on you. I hope you're doing well. 


Angela - If clomid can up your chances and you can afford it/your insurance will cover it, I don't see the virtues of going without. The side effects are annoying, but for most people they aren't debilitating. I know there are some people who get OHSS or respond really badly physically, but have you taken it before? Besides which, 9DPO is too early to be discouraged for this cycle.


Wow, I have been so out of the loop the last week or two. Whoops. I'm currently twiddling my thumbs at CD 10. That time between when the clomid ends and the follicle scans start is such dead air time. I have been scheduling a lot of acupuncture and visualizing a whole lot of healthy giant follicles. Because I am a hippie, apparently. This TTC process is helping me learn so much about my hippie self. 



post #148 of 349

The two words of the day are "irritable" and "moody." I HATE progesterone supplements!

post #149 of 349

congrats skyandtru


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post #150 of 349

I just checked in to see how everyone is doing.


nosreves, I'm so sorry about the BFN. With the travel you have to do, you deserve to get pregnant fast! And your emotional rollercoaster must be fast and furious, what with DP in a TWW. Best to you!!!


Allison, I'm sorry to hear about your 10DPO BFN, and I'm holding out hope you just need a few more days.


skyandtru -- a whole-hearted congratulations to you! Have a great pregnancy and a fun time getting ready for your lo!






If we look at last year's graduates, someone got pregnant every month, and four in March. Who will be next? I don't know, but I know it will be someone. Good luck, everybody.

post #151 of 349
Thread Starter 

I have been so out of the loop for a few days and I have so much to say, so stayed tune to multiple posts- slacking on my threadkeeper duties <sorry>


first and foremost: 


SkyandTru:What you guys must be feeling is beyond words! Congrats! ROTFLMAO.gifbiggrinbounce.gifthumbsup.gifROTFLMAO.gifbiggrinbounce.gifthumbsup.gif ROTFLMAO.gifbiggrinbounce.gifthumbsup.gif ROTFLMAO.gifbiggrinbounce.gifthumbsup.gif ROTFLMAO.gifbiggrinbounce.gifthumbsup.gif ROTFLMAO.gifbiggrinbounce.gifthumbsup.gif ROTFLMAO.gifbiggrinbounce.gifthumbsup.gif ROTFLMAO.gifbiggrinbounce.gifthumbsup.gif ROTFLMAO.gifbiggrinbounce.gifthumbsup.gif ROTFLMAO.gifbiggrinbounce.gifthumbsup.gif ROTFLMAO.gifbiggrinbounce.gifthumbsup.gif ROTFLMAO.gifbiggrinbounce.gifthumbsup.gif ROTFLMAO.gifbiggrinbounce.gifthumbsup.gif ROTFLMAO.gifbiggrinbounce.gifthumbsup.gif ROTFLMAO.gifbiggrinbounce.gifthumbsup.gif ROTFLMAO.gifbiggrinbounce.gifthumbsup.gif ROTFLMAO.gifbiggrinbounce.gifthumbsup.gif ROTFLMAO.gifbiggrinbounce.gifthumbsup.gif ROTFLMAO.gifbiggrinbounce.gifthumbsup.gif ROTFLMAO.gifbiggrinbounce.gifthumbsup.gif ROTFLMAO.gifbiggrinbounce.gifthumbsup.gif ROTFLMAO.gifbiggrinbounce.gifthumbsup.gif ROTFLMAO.gifbiggrinbounce.gifthumbsup.gif ROTFLMAO.gifbiggrinbounce.gifthumbsup.gif ROTFLMAO.gifbiggrinbounce.gifthumbsup.gif ROTFLMAO.gifbiggrinbounce.gifthumbsup.gif ROTFLMAO.gifbiggrinbounce.gifthumbsup.gif ROTFLMAO.gifbiggrinbounce.gifthumbsup.gif ROTFLMAO.gifbiggrinbounce.gifthumbsup.gif ROTFLMAO.gifbiggrinbounce.gifthumbsup.gif ROTFLMAO.gifbiggrinbounce.gifthumbsup.gif


post #152 of 349
Thread Starter 

Pokeycip:Good luck at your folli scan on Monday! I think its awesome that you have a back up plan to take your conception into your own hands for this cycle with bringing the trigger shot home. I declare you a fierce fertility soldier, just because winky.gif. Oh and stoked about possibility of meeting you girl in April.


Junebug: oh stick little beans stick...fx crossed for you in tww!


Amt: Oh so sorry about the BFN. That completely sucks. Possible your little baby to be is getting a little gunshy to come into the world. Me to your shy baby-to-be "hello little fella, you don't know me, but your mommies-to-be are very excited to meet you. They will help you make the world not feel like a scary, intimidating place. Your only real job right now is to notice how safe your life will be with them and take the first step...you can do it" Hopeful your baby-to-be likes that pep talk. Hopefully next cycle is the one!!!!!


Allison: So sorry to hear that DW has been feeling like poo. What an additional headache for both of you! Wishin both you alot of TLC right now.


Nos: You guys don't miss a beat. Sorry sorry to hear about the BFN and yet it sounds like this visit to the Belgium Clinic might be the one!! Sounds like great timing!!! Good luck in the tww.


Cananny:Oh sorry to hear about everything you are going through just to get that stinkin' AF- she is so freakin' stubborn. I totally understand your reluctance and struggle with being happy for others  who are pregnant. This happens to be one some level to me several times a week- even if it is for a brief instance. Last week for instance---I didn't exactly respond so well to the news that Snooki from the Jersey Shore is pregnant. My mind kept sayin (Really?!?, Really ?!?...)


Carmen: Oh girl our bodies are so tricky. I truly hope that different bodily signals start aligning soon...perhaps everything that has been happening is just part of the process about a m/c....thinking of you. hug2.gif


RS: sorry to hear about your monsterous progesterone sx. my fx are crossed for you though.


Hopeful: Sorry to hear about the BFN...it's not over until the AF witch starts singing her tune..if you know what I mean...Thinking of you.


Angela: I truly believe in you needing to do what you is right for you and your fertility. I'm thinking of going to the Clomid route myself ...since timing has been the major problem for me. One thing I did read somewhere though is that if you do ovulate well on your own, Clomid may negatively impact your ovulation process in some way. I could be totally wrong, please ask your doc bc I'm no expert. Good luck to you guys that this is your cycle though!!!!!


MrsandMrs: Good luck at your folli scan in a few days....wishing for big healthy mature follicles for you!!!!!!!



post #153 of 349
Thread Starter 

AFM: I have had such an horrendous past few days that I needed my own separate post to just vent the struggle....So here it goes. About 12 days ago, I contacted our KD and let him know about the prospective timing of O and he let me know that he was helping out another couple from saturday the 17th to Tuesday the 20th. FF actually projected this weekend to be my most fertile time and   yet I completely understood KD's other commitment and asked if he could donate thursday the 15th or friday the 16th and then possibly the 21st if needed. It would be around my prospective fertile time and it was good enough for DW and I. At first KD said that this might work and then however starting focusing on thinking the timing wasn't going to be best for us to insem before and after the fertile window. I appreciated that he is somewhat knowledgable about these things but truly it is my DW and mine choice when we want to insem and I started to think that it was going to be more of a schedule conflict for him to donate when we were asking - we asked and he didn't say it was only kept focusing on what he thought was the best timing for us. After multiple text msgs without a direct answer "yes I will donate when you are asking" or "no that will not work for me," DW talked to him and he agreed to donate and ship the goods on thursday, the next day, and it would arrive on friday morning to insem. On thursday morning, I texted him a nice text that I was so excited to insem the next day - bc I thought it would actually turn out to be great timing seeing how my fertility signs were lining up- to which he responded that he was happy to do it. Well then later that night as I was getting ready for bed- I looked at my phone and he had texted that he had fell asleep after his job (he is a school teacher) and fedex was already closed. We of course called him (DW first called- bc I was of course like "WTF" and prolly needed to cool off).DW got off the phone and id'd that she couldn't get a straight answer from him about what he could do or couldn't do at this point. So I called him (was calmer at this point) and he kept repeating how he accidentally fell asleep and fedex was already closed. I id'd that I understood how these things happen and focused the conversation on what he could do at this point...meaning ship first thing in the morning...or afternoon...or evening to arrive on Saturday morning. It was very hard for him to focus on a plan, id'ing that he didn't have time the next day and this weekend he was helping another couple and then he id'd that possibly if he talked to the other couple about when they needed him then he could donate to me if I was willing to fly to him (he lives in Oklahoma and I live in Ohio) on his frequent flyer miles. I thought this was very generous and thought about it. DW was not ok with me flying to see him alone (I've never met him in person). I understood her point even though I would do almost anything at this point to get pregnant. I got off the phone with him- leaving it with him being open to any other options I had. So by this point it's midnight friday morning-I'm tired, and really angry deep inside that this is all happening. So ofcourse, I'm a fix-it person and I started getting online and researching different shipping options since he had limited time to go through out the day on friday to ship out his goods bc he was working. So then I discovered the Fedex or Ups dropbox option...meaning that KD could have donated in the morning bf he goes to work (I found a drop box right near his house- online) and drop it off in the drop box and I could have requested a pick up from the dropbox to be sent overnight. I thought that the solution was perfect and yet when I mentioned it to KD - he kept responding only that he didn't think that the sperm would live that long. I did my research and found that it would possibly be cutting it close on time- the icepak that keeps the sperm cool may start to cool down but obviously DW and I were willing to take our chance particularly since we had spent about 425 dollars in kits and gift cards to him to try to make this cycle work. I repeated let him know that I respected his thoughts about timing but id'd that DW and I were willing to take our chances and if he wasn't able to donate and drop off at a dropbox to please just let me know directly- instead of us debating about my timing. By this point it's 1:30am in the morning - (he stays up late) and he didn't respond to me via txt message. So friday morning - I communicated via text again- just ignoring the fact he didn't get back with me regarding the last text. I had a brilliant idea (at least I thought it was a good idea), I thought about taking him up on his offer to use his frequent flyer to fly to my parents house who live about 5-6 hrs away from him and then my parents could drive me down to Oklahoma to meet him to donate. It felt like a safer option then just meeting him alone. At first he responded positively and asked what day I would want to come. Ofcourse I id'd that I was flexible but it had to be this weekend- considering thinking I was going to get my LH surge any day now. Since he was working all day he told me that he would contact me on a break in the day-. By the end of the workday on friday- he hadn't contacted me and when I tried to check in with him about having talked to other couple about there specific plans- he simply id'd that he didn't know if he could help me know bc he had to help them- not confirming or clarifying that he had talked to them or not.

By the end of the day yday- I was fried and simply pissed- he hadn't made any attempts to help repair his mistake from the day before and was open to any other solution. Frankly I think he is a nice person but simply maybe is too nice and is somewhat overcommitted/overextended. We had only worked with him for 4 months and I felt like DW and I were starting to see another side- particularly how focused he was on telling me what I should do with my cycle- what would work or now. Even after DW and I would clearly id that we respected his opinion but we knew my cycle and when I was going to ovulate really wasn't his issue to worry about- he would still assert his opinions instead of just saying yes or no whether he could do something. I'm a mental health professional in my real life- and I think that I am a pretty reasonable person and communicator - but it was so difficult to talk to him over the phone. And unfortunately, being that he was out of state, the main mode of communication was over the phone or via text, which frankly didn't help the situation at times. I feel in the end that him giving alot of unsolicited feedback/even after we shared politely that it wasn't needed was his way of avoiding any conflict perceived in the communication. In conversation on the phone, he would repeat himself alot, and at first I thought it was bc he was somewhat nervous to talk on the phone, but then I started having the thought it could have been also his way to avoid any perceived conflict in the conversation- even though DW and I sounded very reasonable and calm (being assertive with I statements and trying to add humor when needed) . 


So in the end- I got home from work after a very hell past 16 hrs and I got a smiley on the OPK monitor....yes I got my surge and so I would ovulate w/in 24 hrs..which means if I would have insemmed in the morning like we had planned with his shipped fresh sperm-- it would have probably been the best timed prospective cycle I would have ever had. 


DW and I have decided to terminate our contract with KD....we are pissed...hurt...and dissappointed...and just done with KD. When telling him that we were done, I did wish that the women he was this weekend did get pregnant- and I did wish him well and I hope that he has a fine donating relationship with other women...For DW and I, he is just not the right donor. We need someone who is reliable and direct in their communication and able to assert their limits and not send mixed messages. Getting pregnant is probably something I think about on some level most hours of the day and I don't have any room to make this process more of an emotional rollercoaster than it needs to be.  At this point I think we will try to concentrate on finding a local donor...we'll see.


I'm going to move myself to "trying to figure things out" ....but through it all for rest of March, I am still going to try to be your dedicated threadkeeper.


I do wish everyone well in the tww and hopefully we can get a few more BFPs in the remaining weeks of March.

Sorry for the incredibly long post-----my rant is over.



post #154 of 349

Oh invitin I am so sorry for all this confusion with your kd. I wish he could have been direct with telling you everything upfront so that you wouldn't have been in the dark. Do you have any local options for a kd? Are you open to frozen sperm through a bank? I really hope you are able to find a wonderful communicative local kd with magical super sperm very very soon. Hugs to you and your DP while you figure everything out. Also, could you please move me to waiting to O? AF showed up today.

post #155 of 349

invitn -- first of all hug2.gif.  it sucks hard, and i know first-hand.  after having something similar happen to us more than once with our first KD last year, we found a back-up (who is now our main KD).  i don't know if you have already tried out sites like www.coparents.com , but that's where we found both of our guys.  you just have to put that you want a sperm donor instead of a co-parent.  i just browsed the US site for a few pages, and there were a couple of donors in Ohio.  i also remember that someone was giving out free memberships to a co-parentmatch.com.  in any case, please take care of yourself, and feel free to rant when you need to.  

post #156 of 349

Oh, Invitn, I'm so sorry you have to deal with this BS.  This is the 2nd KD lately that has turned out to be a bit of a flake (Anna's donor turned out to be a bit of a nut job).  I wish you good luck in figuring things out!!  :)


Hopeful, I'm sorry AF showed up!  Bummer!  :P  Well, at least you'll avoid a Christmas baby (which is what I swore up and down to do, and then realized that if this cycle actually does work it will be a Christmas baby, oops).


DW avoided POAS this morning.  No signs of AF (she is DPO 11 today, normally starts spotting on day 10 or 11), but big temp drop this morning.  :P  Considering we've had issues with her temp all cycle, I won't cling to it, and especially since she took it at 5am (compared to 8am normally).  She'll POAS tomorrow, I've already thrown in the towel for this round.  We'll do one more round with KD for sure in April, then who knows.  We will live 45 minutes away from him, and he doesn't have a car (us buying him a Zip Car membership was part of our deal, and it's worked out amazingly well, but he would need a 3 hour block of Zipcar instead of just the 1 hour he currently needs, plus he also works 2 jobs and a lot of our insems are done at 1030pm).  


So, Mercury is in retrograde again this week, plus some other funky planetary shit.  Gird your loins, fellow Queers.  It's gonna be a shitty week (I've been in a grumpy mood since yesterday).  hammer.gif

post #157 of 349

Invite~ So sorry to hear about your KD...he does sound like a flake. Fx'ed that you find a great new donor. oh...and I felt the same way when I heard that Snooki was pregnant...kinda like WTF?!? then my second thought was...poor kid.


Allison~ I hope the week is not too shitty...here's hoping that you bet your BFP tomorrow...and Mercury being in retrograde turns out to be a great thing.


AFM~ I go in for my u/s on Thursday to see if my body is ready for our FET which is scheduled for 3/28/2012. I'm also hoping that my embabies thaw okay and are good enough for transfer.


 wave.gif  waving to everyone else...have a great weekend!






post #158 of 349

Gelly, good luck with your FET!  Thaw and implant and grow well, embabies.  Your moms dearly want you!  

post #159 of 349

Desert are you srsly 16 weeks already?  WTH, Didn't you just get your BFP like.... YESTERDAY?!



post #160 of 349

Mrs2: Good luck with your scan!


Nos: I'm sorry about the BFN. I still have my fingers crossed for DP, though!


Hopeful: Drat it, it really sounded like this was your month! I hope your next cycle will be it for you.


Invitin: I'm sorry KD turned out to suck so much. *Hugs* What's your plan now? Are you going to find another KD or switch to a bank?


Allison: I really hope this turns out to be the right month for you. Your DP has a really short LP. Have you talked to your doc about it? It seems to me like it might be too short. I know that implantation can take place as late as day 10 or 11, and that it can take up to 72 hours for the hormones to build up enough to let your body know your pregnant. Also, I think you start getting ready to bleed a day or two before you actually do. So, with a 10 day LP, if an embryo implants on day 6, it might be day 9 before the body recognizes it and by that point, the body is already preparing to bleed. I think that process is irreversible once it starts. I could be wrong...I'm not an RE, I don't play one on TV. My RE put me on the progesterone supplements this month because I have a 13 day LP and start getting menstrual cramps on day 11 or 12.


Gelly: Good luck with the FET! Stick little embabies, stick!


AFM: I'm 6 DPO and still experiencing massive progesterone side effects. I was not fit to be around yesterday morning. I've been cramping last night and this morning. I know that the implantation window is days 5-11 for IUI instead of days 6-12 (not sure why there's a difference), but I absolutely refuse to read anything into it. I'm not going to get my hopes up this month. The stupid trigger shot is still making me nauseous.

We'll see what happens. Hopefully, the progesterone will lengthen my cycles enough that I at least get to POAS this month.



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