Queer Conceptions March 2012 - Page 2

[darthtunaqueen]

Nos, I'm totally pumped for your TWW!!  Sounds so good!  

RS, we're pretty sure we had a cycle like that in December.  Only time yet I've cried over a BFN.  :P

Welcome and welcome back to all the peeps!  

Carmen: I hope DD enjoyed the snow we got.  I had to get to work for 6:45am in it.  FUN.  PS, I was just up at Camp Olave a couple of weekends ago!  I don't know where on the Sunshine Coast you are, but I sent you "hello!" vibes!  :)

Well... definitely not pregnant and my body is TOTALLY whacked out.  I was hoping it wasn't PCOS, but if I'm being realistic with myself, I know that it's true.  Oh well, hopefully my ND can sort me out...  We're starting to pack to move, so that's always a really good stress reducer (hahaha).  I have *SUPER* cute babies I'm looking after at work though, and they're not insanely sick, so I'm getting baby cuddles.  Plus DW's BFF's son is so insanely cute. I will post the picture of his smiling in his sleep when I actually bother to turn the wifi on so my photo stream can sync up with my phone...

Anyways, another 5:30am morning, off to bed!!  

[bwilliamson94]

invitin: Thanks for the new thread!

Angela:  and good luck!

AFM: We did our first at home insem on Sunday. So that puts me at 5 DPO. I never realized how stressful the TWW would be! I'm over analyzing every little thing that my body does. I've been crampy, my acid reflux (which I've always had a problem with) has been acting up more than normal, and my boobs are tender! I'm pretty sure that if I was pregnant, I wouldn't be having any of those symptoms yet. And every time I mention something about it to DP she says "maybe it worked!". I feel like we're both a little too hopeful for our first try.

Next Friday we're leaving for a cruise to Mexico. I can't decide if I'm going to take a pregnancy test or not. I'm supposed to get AF while we're on the cruise. What a bummer would that be? Maybe I should take a pregnancy test so I won't be so surprised by/disappointed if AF does show up...

[outdoorsy]

TGIF, my ttc friends!

Allison, so sorry to hear your cycle is whacked. I know that tune. I hope you can get it sorted out soon.

Carmen, I'm glad to see you are in good spirits and pumped for April.

bwilliamson, we are the same DPO! (though I am calling mine "DPI" this month - see earlier post). For me, a negative preg test leads to about 24 hours of depression, so you should consider that when deciding when to test. I like to avoid a possible too-early negative by waiting a while to test. That way if it's negative, you know it's for real. Good luck

We had half an inch of snow on the ground this morning, but it's still the second-least snowy year on record here in New England. My temp was down seven-hundredths -- not a big deal. Still above cover. I feel very slight boob tenderness (when pressing firmly), which is normal at this point in my cycle whether I'm pregnant or not, so it doesn't mean much. With someone else talking about a twinge in the uterus, I sort of thought I might be feeling that, or it could be all in my head. I'm trying to ignore any so-called "symptoms" so I don't get my hopes up too high or obsess more than I already do.

[kgulbransen]

I clicked on the Q&P board by mistake. Someone posted a 13 week pregnancy belly photo. That was supposed to be me. I'm crying and devastated. Sometimes this journey isn't worth all the pain.

Krista

[Hopeful22]

Angela- Welcome Back!!! Good luck with your upcoming insem. Is your profile pic. of your DD? She is so cute!! Thank you for sharing your experience regarding your friends fertility struggles. You are right about gaining compassion through this experience. Also, I agree with Carmen about temping. It helps me to feel like I have more control over the situation but if it made you crazy and you feel like you can trust your body then don't do it. You've gotta do what works for you.

Pokey- Thank you or the kind words about my friend. Where are you at right now in your cycle? When do you expect to O?

Welcome to QC- Amanda! Tell us more about your family. Will this be your first LO? I hope you get some good first timers luck!!

Outdoorsy- Thank you so much for what you said about both my friends and my fertility not going they way either of us want. It really helped me to take a look at it from another point of view. A third day of temp. rises is awesome. That may just confirm O for you! I sure hope thats what it means.I wouldn't worry too much about the small drops in temp. you have had. Does it make you crazy that your thermometer shows the hundreths? Mine only shows the tenths, which I am sure is plenty for me. For some reason that 4th number makes my brain hurt.

Invitn- Thank you for sharing that photo and blog with me. I really loved what she had to say in it. She is so right, just because my friend is pregnant it doesn't mean anything to my fertility. She didn't take my chance or steal the last baby on he shelf or win the baby lottery. Thank you for helping me realize these things. I am glad you are able to be distracted through your TWW. My fingers are crossed for you. Also, could you move me to the TWW?

Rs- I remember you saying about your RE only doing 6 IUIs awhile ago and they way you've explained it makes a lot of sense. I wonder though if it is adding a lot of extra stress and pressure to what sounds like an already stressful situation? I'm sure that if there is stress it doesn't make TTC any easier. I hope it doesn't add too much for you and that you won't have to worry about what to do if #6 doesn't work because you'll be pregnant by then.

Carmen- We did our insem this morning! Thanks for asking. I agree that acupuncture can help with stress and keeping things in balance. I went again last night and felt the most relaxed that I have felt in a really long time. It was wonderful. I am sorry that your back is giving you problems. I hope you are feeling better today.

Nos- Hey there cycle buddy! Your trip to Belgium sounds wonderful and delicious! I am so glad that you and your DP enjoy the heck out of it when you go. Belgium just sounds so lovely. I wish the US was as evolved as they sound. My fingers are crossed for you this cycle.

Allison- Yay for super cute babies to care for! Remind me, where are you guys at in your cycle right now?

B- I understand exactly what you mean about over anaylizing every thing and being too hopeful your first time. But being postive is good. After all, you bring about what you think about right?!?! Have fun on your cruise! I hope it is nice and relaxing for you. Good luck this cylce!

AFM- We are in the wait again. We did our insem this morning and it seemed to go well. I am now just hoping that the next two weeks goes by smoothly and that I can keep my calm demeanor and not get all obsessive. Also, I wanted to again say Thank you to all of you for your helpful words about my friends pregnancy. I feel like, even though I am still processing, I am doing much better with it. We had another talk about it this morning and I told her that while I support her and love her and want to be there for her, I may have hard days and not be able to hear too much about her pregnancy. She was really understanding (as she always is.) I am so lucky to have such amazing people in my life and am so thankful for all of you for helping me process all of this. So again, THANK YOU!

Who is next to end their TWW? My veggies are itching to dance!

( P.S. Desert- If you are still around, or anyone who has been able to look at the sperm under the microscope, what magnification did you use? I work at a doctors office so I took a small bit on a slide to work and put it under the microscope with all sorts of different levels but I didn't know what I was looking for so I couldn't really see anything. Any help would be appreciated!)

Edited by Hopeful22 - 3/2/12 at 11:05am

[Hopeful22]

Cross post--

Krista- I am so very sorry for what you are going through. I wish I had words that could help you and take all the pain away.

[lisedea]

Krista--Oh I know...the talk of the babies turning 6 months in February was hard for me.

[mrsandmrs]

welcome and welcome back, everyone! Angela, I have seen your name around the boards for so long, it's exciting to bump into you on the ttc rollercoaster. 

This post has made me feel better about my friends who are pregnant or have been recently. I think about the "baby lottery" a lot, and how each of our chances are random, unrelated rolls of the dice. It helps me deal with my feelings, although I'm not far from perfect in that regard. ahem. Also, I'm suddenly desperately in need of a trip to Belgium? 

RS - That is a lot of stress piled up on top of stress! This fertility crap sure brings up a lot of hard stuff - feelings about the body, fertility, money - and it hardly seems fair to have health struggles with your DP on top of it. I really hope this cycle goes better for you, and that doctor finds some better news for your DP soon. 

Krista - sorry for what you're going through. that sounds so hard. 

AFM - These HCG trigger shot symptoms are intense but fortunately they kicked in later than last cycle so I've suffered less this time around I'm currently 10 dpo and I'm planning to POAS monday. My clinic scheduled a blood test for wednesday, but I will probably know already by then. I am trying to stay busy so I don't obsess over symptoms and talk myself into unrealistic corners, you know. 

I temped for about 3 years (we have been planning this baby for a f-ing long time... which is why I have such a hard time when my friends get pregnant. If we were lucky with fertility, our kid would be in pre-school by now. ugh, I hate thinking about that.). I struggled with basal thermometers that seemed to work only erratically and totally insane temp patterns. Finally I gave up because it wasn't telling me anything useful - my ovulation was erratic and irregular and there was no way we could get knocked up "diy." Let's just say that Fertility Friend is lucky it's a website and I can't punch it, because I would have really injured it at some point in the last 4 years. Since we've been going to the fertility clinic, though, I've sort of fallen back into the habit of temping, though. Since I AM ovulating on the drugs, the temp data is more useful. Like, 10 DPO and my temp is still up above my cover line - that's so nice, thank you FF! So, right now it feels worth a little bit of the frustration and mania of temping. At least, that's how I feel right now. I might throw my thermometer out the window tomorrow. I'm an irrational possibly-pregnant lady, watch out! 

[outdoorsy]

Nosreves - I used FF for the first time this month, and I'm still learning it. I would be happy to have you FF stalk me! Do I have to create a public chart or something? It seems like people haven't been able to see it. As for the waterbed, it doesn't seem to affect my temps. I'm just waiting for the day when I'm so big with child I can't climb out of it. Then we'll have to move to the spare bedroom, and I'll get to sleep in a normal bed for a while. Then I'll probably miss the H2O bed!

Krista - I'm so sorry. I would be devastated, too.

Hopeful - Until this month, I used a regular thermometer with just the tenths. I actually love the hundredths because it makes me feel like I'm battling my crazy cycles with a bigger weapon! Enjoy (ha ha) the TWW!

MrsandMrs - good luck with the POAS!

[carmen358]

nos: Mmmm your belgium feast sounds delish :)
 

Allison: I will be on the Sunshine Coast for my DP's birthday in April (we go every year) but I live in Vancouver - west side. Maybe you are mixing me up with someone else? Not that I wouldn't mind living on the Sunshine Coast sometimes ;) Good luck with your move!

bwilliamson: Congrats on your first TWW! I actually find the time leading up to O to be the most stressful. But the 2WW isn't a bundle of fun either. I would totally take a test to Mexico if I was you!
 

I'm sorry, Krista. I would have been due this month if my first  pregnancy this time around had stuck. And I would have been telling people about this last pregnancy this week as well. It's hard. But I can assure you, it's absolutely worth it. When my DD was very young...I was often in awe of what a precious, precious gift she was. It makes it that much sweeter. Really. You'll get there. Big hugs to you.
 

Hopeful: Glad the insem went well!
 

 

Afm: I finally got in to see my chiropractor today. I'm not feeling much better - still can't walk well but I'm feeling more confident there is an end to the pain just around the corner! The show DP is working on is on a mini hiatus because the lead actor is sick so she's been home all week - perfect timing! Her and DD went to swimming class today and I'm going to get comfy on the couch with a heating pad again and watch something on netflix.
 

[outdoorsy]

Yay! I just entered today's data on FF and it moved my red line to the right place, and made the line solid instead of dotted for conflicting signs. Wow. I feel oddly normal. It moved my cover line higher, so the first day my temp started to rise is now slightly below the cover line, instead of above it. It says I'm 4DPO.

obsessive, adj.,  a type of behavior in which a person checks QC very frequently while she should be working, especially on a Friday afternoon. See also: TWW.

Edited by outdoorsy - 3/2/12 at 2:21pm

[pokeyAC]

Krista-- I'm so sorry.  I think we all have moments when we ask ourselves if it is worth it.  There is something in us that made us want to jump on the ride to begin with, and it's easy to forget about that goal when you are constantly being disappointed.  It feels like every try will end with disappointment.  Plus, with all the money we've spent we could go probably put a down payment on a car and go on a nice vacation.  It will all be worth it someday.  I like to think that our baby is out there somewhere (heaven or wherever) just waiting for the time when it's ready to be born.

Hopeful-- I hope the tww goes by quickly and smoothly.  Good luck!  Right now I am day 23 waiting for the next cycle to begin so we can try again this month.  I went to acupuncture today, and it was lovely!  I have my herbs for the next couple weeks ready to go.  I am going to the chiropractor on Monday, and I am excited about that too.  I expect to O around the 21st, and the 22nd is my birthday, so I could actually get pregnant on my birthday, and that would be very nice.

Mrsandmrs and bwilliamson-- Good luck!  I hope the tww isn't too torturous.

outdoorsy-- I've started using FF too since it seems to be so popular here.  I was looking at the forums.  I didn't see any for queer folks.  Does anyone use their forums?  I am also obsessed with checking QC.  My company recently blocked all email and social networking sites, and this is one of the few places where I can actually talk to people and keep up with them.

As for friends getting pregnant, I also have an opposite sort of situation.  I have a friend who is bi and married a man several years ago and started ttc right away.  She couldn't get pregnant and found out she has PCOS.  She started fertility treatment and then they found out that her husband has a rare form of cancer.  The medicine that keeps him alive causes birth defects so they had to stop trying.  They talked about using a donor, but she spends so much of her time taking care of her husband that it's not a good time to have a baby especially with the future so uncertain.  She's very excited and supportive of us trying, but I do feel bad when I think that I could be pregnant soon and she may never get to have a baby.  It also reminds me to feel grateful that I am healthy and I have a wonderful spouse who is healthy and that we are in a good place where we are ready to have a child.  So, my point is it goes both ways. 

[Skyandtru]

RS11- I soo sorry about AF showing up and the situation with your DW I really hope everything goes well for the both of you

Nosreves- Good luck in the TWW!!! looks like we are almost cycle buddies

AngelaM & AmandaAnn-

Invitn- thank you for the bright shiny new thread!! can you move us to Waiting to know!!

AFM-Hi ladies we got our positive opk on Wednesday at 4pm and we inseminated on Thursday at 4am so i guess we are 1dpo I really hope the timing wasn't too early! do you ladies think it was too early to insem?? 

[Cananny]

Hi everyone

Well BFN and no signs of the evil witch known as AF.. i will wait and see. but i am 99 percent sure I am not pg.. i really felt our timing was way off and the new med didnt work as well as clomid.. i asked the nurse to ask the RE if we can move to injectables , she wants me to do one more round of clomid ( i requested that over the femerra) I have an appt to see her on the 13th... so now just waiting for AF.. I hope she comes on her own so i do not have to take progesterone to make it start.. that was not fun at all!!

Krista, hugs my friend.. i know its hard.  but in the end you will have your baby!

RS... pcos it is tough ive struggled with it for 16 yrs before it even had a name/meaning... do u take metformin as well? im sorry for the news your dw got and for af showing up.. 

pokey.. hiya neighbor...and best wishes for a bday baby!!!!!!

carmen.. i hope u are feeling better.. i have bck troubles sometimes and have to do phys therapy... 

Welcome ANGELA and AMANDA

In other news.. DP and I joined the local YMCA and are going to go swim.. RE said that was ok to do while TTC and some other light excersises.. I know my weight is a part of why I am not getting pg easily.. So far  I have cut out caffeine and soda, and trying to watch what I eat .... I cant do a lot while TTC but i can make small changes !!!

[Amt1015]

Krista-I am so sorry for the heartache you are going thru! I wish you a sticky BFP very soon!

Invitn-How are you feel?! Any good "signs"? I'm good. Trying not to over think anything. We are car shopping so that helps a lot! He sent me the pic of the postive and it made me cry with hope that it will happen for us too.

Nos-Hey buddy! I am 4dpo! How about you? How are you feeling? Good I hope! Yes, DW is a very strong woman. She has to be with all she had to deal with health wise but on the other hand I wish she wouldn't be so damn stubborn!

AFU- Doing good in the TWW! Quick question....Is 4 dpo too early for implantation?! I feel a lil crampy today....

[esenbee2]

Just checking in.  We are 8 DPO.  Had some twingy feelings earlier this week.  And the new "symptom" is being *EXTREMELY* moody (like never before!) and very emotional.  Our weather viewing area got hit with a line of storms that produced 31+ tornadoes and caused massive destruction.  It is all over the news and every time I stop to watch I get this wave of emotion over me and my eyes tear up and I have to walk away.  I wasn't personally effected, but it is all so darn sad.

Planning to test Friday.

[gellybeangrl]

Krista~ Hugs.....

[darthtunaqueen]

Carmen: not sure why I thought you were on the sunshine coast... I'm guessing we live pretty close to each other then, we're out close to UBC until the end of April, then we will officially live in the 'burbs!!! If you ever seen someone wearing a zebra hat and rainbow or grey mittens, it's probably me. say hi!

Krista: I'm so sorry. I know that nothing I can say will make it better, so know that I'm thinking of you!

Esen: sounds good! You keep twinging away!!

Nos: you've been awfully quiet in the past couple of days...

AFU: we started our insems this AM. We're CD10, so we started a little bit later than usual. DW is confident she'll ovulate Monday. So I guess we'll see!

We have a month until we take possession of our new place,mso we're having wayyyy too much fun picking paint colors and daydreaming. We both seem to be shying away from calling the 2nd bedroom "the baby's room" because it feels like we're jinxing it... But all the baby stuff will get put in there (not unpacked though, also too jinx-like). Anyone else do this?

Peace out from the near-end of my night shift (oh thank goodness!! Lots of crying babies all night!).

[rs11]

Krista: I am *soooooooo* sorry about what you are going through. I know that nothing I say can help ease your pain, so here's some hugs.

Allison: Good luck with the move! I hope it goes well. I don't know if unpacking the baby things would be more likely to jinx it or make it happen. You never know. I hope it works soon for you. I also hope you don't have PCOS. It could be any number of other things. I know you're a nurse and you mentioned crying babies -do you work in the NICU?

B: Yep, the TWW is the most stressful part of the process. Just take a deep breath and try to stay calm. I do lots of meditation during mine. I hope this is your month!

Hopeful, Mrs, Outdoorsy, Sky and anyone else I forgot: Good luck!

AFM:  I'm not having any side effects from the injectables yet. I'm having more side effects from the metformin. They just put me on it even though I don't have insulin problems. My PCOS is really mild; my only symptoms are the anovulation and the ovarian cysts. But the RE thinks it will help with my ovarian functioning, so I'm on it for now. I am really getting fed up with all of these meds, however. I don't even like tylenol. And I really, really don't like needles. I told DW that if God is looking for proof of how much I want to get pregnant, the face that I'm willing to let someone else give me a shot every night should be enough! I can't even look at the needle, much less give it to myself! Nos, I'm on Bravelle, not Follistim, but it's pretty much the same thing. They're both FSH derived from rat urine. I can't see them being much different!

Baby dust to everyone!

[outdoorsy]

Happy Sunday, everyone. I hope everyone is doing well.

Allison, congrats on doing your insems. Good luck to you, girl!

rs11, I totally hear you about the needles. I haven't used injectables yet, but I know it would be difficult for me to get the shots, never mind give them to myself.

AFM - 7 days post insem. Temp remains high. I have awakened the last couple of days feeling some mild uterine sensation - not really cramps, but like a very mild ache. When I get up I don't notice it much. I also have a little breast tenderness that seems different from normal. When I normally have tenderness before my period, my breasts feel full and heavy. Now they don't feel heavy, but I have some tenderness that seems focused where the breast meets my body, on the sides and bottom. Has anyone else experienced that while pregnant?

Most importantly, I want to say that I'm feeling very grateful to be in a TWW. As much as we like to laugh about it being torture, it's a time of hope, if only for two weeks. I almost didn't get to insem this cycle, so maybe that's why this feeling is so strong. But it's also because I know how much trouble some of us here have had getting pregnant, staying pregnant, getting ourselves to ovulate at predictable times, and getting access to discrimination-free medical care. I feel happy and grateful to be in a TWW, and I wish the same for everyone here (followed of course by a beautiful sticky bean)!