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Queer Conceptions March 2012 - Page 11

post #201 of 349

thanks everyone love.gif

 

rs - sending you a hug hug2.gif  i second pokey's recommendation for a fun distraction to get your mind off of it for an hour or two.  and fwiw, cramping is a very normal early pregnancy sign too, nothing to worry about. i'm choosing to take it as a positive sign for your cycle!!

post #202 of 349

Junebug- CONGRATULATIONS!!!!!!  biggrinbounce.gifjumpers.gifbiggrinbounce.gifjumpers.gif biggrinbounce.gifjumpers.gif biggrinbounce.gifjumpers.gif biggrinbounce.gifjumpers.gif biggrinbounce.gifjumpers.gif biggrinbounce.gifjumpers.gif biggrinbounce.gifjumpers.gif biggrinbounce.gifjumpers.gif biggrinbounce.gifjumpers.gif biggrinbounce.gifjumpers.gif biggrinbounce.gifjumpers.gif biggrinbounce.gifjumpers.gif biggrinbounce.gifjumpers.gif biggrinbounce.gifjumpers.gif biggrinbounce.gifjumpers.gif biggrinbounce.gifjumpers.gif biggrinbounce.gifjumpers.gif biggrinbounce.gifjumpers.gif biggrinbounce.gifjumpers.gif biggrinbounce.gifjumpers.gif biggrinbounce.gifjumpers.gif

post #203 of 349

Woohoo!  Junebug, congrats on your BFP!!

 

RS, Sad panda.  :(  I hope you can get some sunshine and start to feel better soon!  Depression sucks ass.  I also feel the same way about pouring everything into TTC.  We ended up making a rather hasty decision and bought a condo, an expensive venture in this part of North America, just to have SOME kind of movement.  We're hoping the move will help.  But I feel for you, I really really really do.  You worded it perfectly.

 

Cananny, I hope AF comes soon.  Sucks to not get your BFP OR AF.  Augh!  

 

Hopeful: DW has had similar periods post BFNs where I was all excited she was actually pregnant.  Turns out the stress of TTC just causes more of mind f*** than it already does.  I wouldn't worry about it, you can always POAS and make sure you actually aren't pregnant.  But DWs periods have been whacked in the past (less whacked lately, since we're kinda in the groove).

 

Carmen: Auugh!  It sounds like your body can't make up it's mind!  Much like the weather (I walked 8 blocks to the bank and needed sunglasses, my umbrella, a toque and mittens... all at different time.  Seriously?!).  Oh, and I saw cherry blossoms!!  Definitely something to smile about.  Vegas will be a nice reprieve from the cold.  :D

 

Soto: Welcome!!  Good luck with your TTC!  

 

Pokey: I hope this is it for you!!  Glad all signs point to north!!  :D

 

Nos: hope everything is working out for you... I'm twitching to see what your DP's POAS result is!!  Probably not as much as you though.  :)  Your counting of "real" vs "fake" insems totally make sense.  I counted ours up, with perfect timing we have 7/9 (we insemed too early our first two rounds).  Why we don't have a tiny zygote yet is unknown to me.

 

Invit: Well that's exciting that you get to be aunty!  I know it's not as great as Mommy, but getting to hold a newborn tiny human is definitely food for the soul.  DW's BFF had a baby a month ago, and it was lovely to hold him and love him.  Do you live close to your sister?  Will you get to lavish your love on this tiny human?  I hope you get your BFP soon and you your kids can all grow up super close.  :D

 

Angela: An early AF is the WORST.  DW got her AF two days early last month and it just felt like a wallop.  We went from still hoping to "oh......... clearly not" in the span of 2 minutes.  I hope you recover from it quickly!  :)  Also, bummer about your donor!  Back to the Zellers Catalogue!!

 

Esen: Gardening is so good for the soul!  There's something so rewarding about growing things when everything else just doesn't seem to want to grow.  They're so predictable, and that feeling of finally seeing the tiny green shoots is pure joy.  :)  Your garden description makes me so envious!  We have to give up our garden as we're moving to a condo (currently renting a house, shared with three roommates).  :D

 

Krista: my deepest hope for your IVF adventure!  We have so many babies conceived by IVF in our NICU (usually just slightly prem, nothing exciting) and their parents are always my favourite, so easy going and wonderful and love their baby(ies) so so so so so much.  I wish you and DP the very very very best!!!!

 

Mrs^2: Yay for acupuncture!!  DW goes to acupuncture, and she's even suggested bringing in our KD to do his donation right in the clinic.  HAHAHAHAHA.  Uhhh, no. That would be too weird for me.  And DW also thinks it's weird.  :D

 

Wishin: if you plan for something that involves a lot of walking, you should be fine.  ;)

 

AFU: sorry for my 5(!) day disappearance, I've been exhausted thanks to work and homework and packing.  DW is now DPO 15 with no AF in sight.  She's POAS every day and it's been BFN.  Confirmed ovulation on CD 14, we're on CD 29 now.  Usually her AF shows up around CD28-30.  If we have nothing by tomorrow, we'll try to get a blood test done over the weekend.  

 

She's also sick again with her biliary colic, which causes intense pain.  I'm theorizing that it's related to pregnancyishness, because this happened in December too when we were ABSOLUTELY CONVINCED she was pregnant.  Very frustrating.  We'll give KD one last round in April, which is just as we're moving (but haven't yet moved 45 minutes away), and then we'll probably take a break for a month and recoup our finances (which have all just gone into our new place) and then hit the clinic.  I'm running on the assumption we'll jump straight into clomid + IUI, since we'll have done just under a year of at home insems.  I will be very sad to give up our KD, but I'm sadder to NOT HAVE A BABY.

 

On the flip side, a friend who has struggled with infertility for YEARS (3.5 years), got her little boy yesterday!!  He's adopted and comes from within their biological family (long story).  She had to travel within Canada to get him, but he's here and she's on her way back home with him!!  So exciting, he's lovely and she's over the moon!  Our laws here say that the birth mom has 30 days to change her mind, after that it's final.  She and I work together and she got the news at work that he was on his way out and she literally HOPPED ABOUT for the rest of our shift (which was another 5 hours) which was adorable.  So, the story has a happy ending.  So excited to meet him!  This is one baby where I'm not grumpy about at ALL, because we were in this miserable TTC mess together for almost a year and ONE OF US had to get a baby before the year was up or it was going to be REALLY depressing.  

 

Anyways, FX for the rest of you!

post #204 of 349

hopeful - i tossed around the idea of skipping this cycle too, just because i'm so opposed to december babies! but in the end, i want a baby more than i don't want a december baby, so here we are! TTC can mess up your period - mine has been entirely unlike the AF I have known for the last *mumble*=teen years since we started this process. 

 

carmen - i hope you get some answers soon so you can move on. do you have to travel to get your ultrasound, or is your schedule super busy? vegas sounds like a nice distraction!

 

allison -- my fingers are crossed that your bfp is just a little slow to show!

 

pokey - acupuncture is so good! congrats on your iui's..... any symptoms yet? haha, the maddening tww. happy birthday!!!

 

rs -- i'm sorry you're feeling down. it's way too early for you to be out of the game, but I know that those kinds of feelings aren't based on logic and reason. anyway, i second the vote for blades of glory. 

 

AFM : We had our IUI today so pretty please may i be moved to the TWW? but OMG it was so stressful and stupid!! Forgive my ranting but I can't help it! I wanted an afternoon appointment because my wife worked until 1pm. I have a flexible job but she doesn't. the fertility nurse was a major B- to us about scheduling an afternoon appointment - she totally refused even though they are open until 4:30pm on tuesdays, and we had a 2pm appointment last month AND I had my trigger shot at like 10AM and I wanted to put more hours between the shot and the IUI. but the nurse flat out refused because she "likes" to see patients in the morning. -w-h-a-t-e-v-e-r- The next morning, I go in for my iui appointment. I wait for 30 minutes, and then the same B nurse calls me back and says that the lab never got the order to thaw my vial so I can either wait an hour or -- consolation prize -- get the afternoon appointment I wanted. So, it's 30 minutes to drive there from work, I wait for 30 minutes, and I still can't have my iui. I say I want to re-schedule it for the afternoon so my wife can be there. The nurse makes some reference to how the lab guy needs time to wash the sample. I'm like, baffled by this because it's supposed to be an IUI-ready sample? So I question her and she tells me it's an IVF vial. At this point I start to freak out - IVF vials have half as much sperm and cost $250 less than the "iui-ready" sperm I paid for. The nurse tells me she is too busy to figure it out right now and I should come back at 2pm. Wait, didn't I just cancel my 11AM appt? So shouldn't you have some time to figure it out? But I was so upset I just left. I drive (40 minutes) home and freak out about how this cycle isn't going to work because it's an IVF vial, etc, so I call the sperm bank (Fairfax) and tell them what my clinic is telling me - and the lady sounded so sorry and alarmed, she is like, let me call your clinic and confirm this, if it is really IVF we can overnight something ok please hold.... My clinic decides they aren't answering the phone or returning phone messages! the sperm bank is on the east coast, so at 2pm it will be too late to fix the problem. My dear wife gets home from work and I'm basically a train wreck of anger and frustration. She talks me down and we decide the lab guy and the nurse are just incompetent idiots and the vial is probably fine. And spoiler alert, it had 15 million sperm so it wasn't an IVF vial.  So we question the nurse about why the lab guy is washing our iui-ready sperm and she says basically she can't explain it. We ask that either she or the lab guy need to call Fairfax and talk about what was actually in the vial and why they are washing it. I mean, that is not normal, right? I'm concerned that this idiot lab guy is actually ruining my precious sperm! She agrees that they will return the bank's phone calls, but "definitely not today." And let the record reflect that this lab guy kind of actually sucks - we have had 3 iui's with this clinic - once, we had to wait 1.5 hours before he had the sperm ready. the second one, we had to wait 45 minutes. Why do we bother scheduling appointments so we can sit for that long in the f-ing waiting room? I have anger, friends. 

 

And let me tell you, the highlight of my day was having the world's most condescending fertility nurse see my precious lady bits and impale my cervix! that was so excellent! 

 

ANYWAY - ONWARDS TO THE TWW. Here's hoping we are so totally pregnant and we don't have to go through this crap again. At least not till the next baby. Also -- if anyone else is ovulating/insemm'ing today, our projected due date is 12/12/12 which is, be honest, totally fabulous. 

post #205 of 349

oh christ, thank you all for letting me rant that out. i feel 1 x million times better. 

 

one last thing - has anyone ever gotten insane dry skin on your face from clomid? last month my lips were cracked and bleeding and insanely dry, but i thought i was allergic to this new lipstick. then this month (150mg of clomid) my entire chin is red and dry, and I would like to entirely remove my dry, sandpaper lips. it is driving me CRAZY. 

post #206 of 349

Phew! I just got done reading every post in the thread. Sometimes I get weird like that and make myself finish something before I start a new thing. I blame it on my Mom. winky.gif

Thank you for the welcome everyone! My DW and I just inseminated last night- actually MidwifeStephPDX did the insem! I'm glad to see you in here MidwifeSteph and I'm so happy for you and your DP! 

Here's the backstory: DW is 37 and I am 30 (almost typed 29...I guess it hasn't hit me yet!) and we have been together for 3 years and 8 months, but married since October 2010. We live in the beautiful Pacific NW- in Vancouver WA, which is across the Columbia River from Portland, Oregon. Last year we lived in Seattle because DW had been transferred up there with her job. She got transferred back in August and we moved back in October. While we were up there we were beginning the process of ttc, but not really in earnest. I was reading some books and frustratedly navigating Fertility Friend and blogging (www.twoninas.wordpress.com) infrequently. When we moved back, though, things just seemed like the right timing. Our friends L & E (who just moved to Paris) suggested that we check out a local midwifery practice because they do insems. I didn't know this, but was super jazzed to learn about it b/c I've heard great things about this place. So, in January DW and I scheduled a consult and met with MidwifeSteph to talk about our options. She was so amazingly helpful! She'll remember my obsessive note taking, I'm sure! She told us about mothering.com and also about how to actually go about the process of TTC. After that consult we began tracking (well, DW actually began tracking- she's going first b/c of her age). January and February were weird months. She was tracking her temp, but it was all over the place. Also we tried with me checking her cervical position, but that was super painful for her. Plus she didn't want to track her cm because she didn't want to touch it. So, we mostly took wondfo OPKs beginning in February. Unfortunately the smiley face OPKs didn't smile in February. Still, we decided it made sense to move forward and keep tracking in March. Her CD1 was on March 4th. During this time we also went up to a local hospital and began working with an RE. She insisted on subjecting DW to a battery of tests- AMH, FSH, estradiol.... Her AMH came back low (or is it high?), but FSH and estradiol were totally normal- actually in the excellent range. Because of the AMH test they gave her 100mg of Clomid for CD 3-7. This gave me hope! So, she keeps taking the OPKs and nothing, nothing, nothing...so she goes in for an u/s on CD 11 and they can't find any follicles. She was pretty emotional about this, but we were still trying to hold out hope. As of CD 15 (expected LH surge day) she still hadn't gotten two same colored lines or a smile. I checked in with L and she checked in with her friends who gave us lots of positive feedback about still holding out hope since they all had late surges on Clomid too. Turns out that night after work, DW felt the urge to test again. The lines were almost the same color!!!!! B/c of this I suggested she take the smiley face OPK every two hours after that to try to catch it. At 10:30 that night we got a smile! energy.gifI, of course, jumped around like a kangaroo on steroids and cried. The next morning she took two more smiley face OPKs and they were no longer smiling. Still, the Clearblue Easy Fertility Monitor said she was at a peak level of fertility. So, calling MidwifeSteph and our dude up at the andrology lab to arrange for pickup of the sample, we set an insem time of 5pm. I left work at noon b/c I couldn't focus worth shit. DW , unfortunately, had a newbie traveling with her all day, so she couldn't leave early, but met me at the clinic. From there we insemmed!!!!

I don't know if you can tell or not (/sarcasm)- I am really excited! At dinner that night DW began feeling some pretty severe cramps on her right side. She also has been feeling super tired and today her boobies began feeling sore. 

It is definitely too soon to know anything, but it feels like super excellent timing to both of us. We were just talking about this earlier and she said she thinks it was controlled by something bigger than us. Also- I forgot to mention that before the insem (I got to push the plunger- yay!) we could tell that her cervix was very soft and open and that it was gushing fertile cm. That's a good sign, right?

 

So, enough about us! We'll let you know what comes of it :)

 

Junebug & Skyandtru- We are sooooo happy for you both!!!!!!!!!!! joy.gifjoy.gifjoy.gifjoy.gifjoy.gif

 

xoxo,

Sotohana

 

post #207 of 349

DW just told me that her lips have been feeling dry too and she took 100mg of Clomid this cycle. She used olive oil this morning since she couldn't find her 'i-kissed-a-girl' chapstick. 
 

Quote:
Originally Posted by mrsandmrs View Post

oh christ, thank you all for letting me rant that out. i feel 1 x million times better. 

 

one last thing - has anyone ever gotten insane dry skin on your face from clomid? last month my lips were cracked and bleeding and insanely dry, but i thought i was allergic to this new lipstick. then this month (150mg of clomid) my entire chin is red and dry, and I would like to entirely remove my dry, sandpaper lips. it is driving me CRAZY. 



 

post #208 of 349

Junebug: I know I said congratulations already, but I just wanted to reiterate that I am so, so happy you got your BFP! Yay for embabies! Grow little babies, grow!

 

Mrs2: Wow. It sounds like you have a pretty incompetent clinic. I am sorry you're having to put up with that! I hope you don't have to go through this again!

 

AFM: Thanks, everyone! I'm feeling much better today! I'm not counting this cycle out yet by any means; I was just having a bad day yesterday. I'm 10 DPO now; we're in the homestretch and I am resisting the urge to POAS early just to be sure I get to do so.

post #209 of 349

allison - sounds like you have a solid plan for moving forward, but i have my fingers crossed for you still this cycle!  did ya'll test again this morning??

 

mrs - oh. my. god.  i was getting agitated for you just reading that, i can't imagine how frustrated you were!! can you talk to the doctor about what happened? that kind of patient care is totally unacceptable from the nurse.   ...and yes, 12/12/12 would be an awesome due/birth date!

 

sotohana - sounds like your timing was spot-on, wishing you lots of luck!!

 

rs - glad you are feeling a bit better today.  keep resisting that urge to POAS early; after my experience this week, i am now the world's biggest advocate against early testing! it's not worth the heartache.

 

afu - thanks again to everyone for the congratulations, ya'll are sweet!  we had another bfp on a FRER this morning, but the line didn't darken since yesterday - im trying not to fret over that.   i was hoping it would have been darker though, just to ease my mind.  sigh...i guess there is always something to worry about rolleyes.gif

 

post #210 of 349


Ohemgee! I was so mad for you while reading this! I can't believe they put you through this. No one should have to accept this kind of treatment from a healthcare provider.

You are right, though, 12/12/12 is the best due date ever! We'd be at 12/11/12. Fx for both of us this cycle!

Quote:
Originally Posted by mrsandmrs View Post

hopeful - i tossed around the idea of skipping this cycle too, just because i'm so opposed to december babies! but in the end, i want a baby more than i don't want a december baby, so here we are! TTC can mess up your period - mine has been entirely unlike the AF I have known for the last *mumble*=teen years since we started this process. 

 

carmen - i hope you get some answers soon so you can move on. do you have to travel to get your ultrasound, or is your schedule super busy? vegas sounds like a nice distraction!

 

allison -- my fingers are crossed that your bfp is just a little slow to show!

 

pokey - acupuncture is so good! congrats on your iui's..... any symptoms yet? haha, the maddening tww. happy birthday!!!

 

rs -- i'm sorry you're feeling down. it's way too early for you to be out of the game, but I know that those kinds of feelings aren't based on logic and reason. anyway, i second the vote for blades of glory. 

 

AFM : We had our IUI today so pretty please may i be moved to the TWW? but OMG it was so stressful and stupid!! Forgive my ranting but I can't help it! I wanted an afternoon appointment because my wife worked until 1pm. I have a flexible job but she doesn't. the fertility nurse was a major B- to us about scheduling an afternoon appointment - she totally refused even though they are open until 4:30pm on tuesdays, and we had a 2pm appointment last month AND I had my trigger shot at like 10AM and I wanted to put more hours between the shot and the IUI. but the nurse flat out refused because she "likes" to see patients in the morning. -w-h-a-t-e-v-e-r- The next morning, I go in for my iui appointment. I wait for 30 minutes, and then the same B nurse calls me back and says that the lab never got the order to thaw my vial so I can either wait an hour or -- consolation prize -- get the afternoon appointment I wanted. So, it's 30 minutes to drive there from work, I wait for 30 minutes, and I still can't have my iui. I say I want to re-schedule it for the afternoon so my wife can be there. The nurse makes some reference to how the lab guy needs time to wash the sample. I'm like, baffled by this because it's supposed to be an IUI-ready sample? So I question her and she tells me it's an IVF vial. At this point I start to freak out - IVF vials have half as much sperm and cost $250 less than the "iui-ready" sperm I paid for. The nurse tells me she is too busy to figure it out right now and I should come back at 2pm. Wait, didn't I just cancel my 11AM appt? So shouldn't you have some time to figure it out? But I was so upset I just left. I drive (40 minutes) home and freak out about how this cycle isn't going to work because it's an IVF vial, etc, so I call the sperm bank (Fairfax) and tell them what my clinic is telling me - and the lady sounded so sorry and alarmed, she is like, let me call your clinic and confirm this, if it is really IVF we can overnight something ok please hold.... My clinic decides they aren't answering the phone or returning phone messages! the sperm bank is on the east coast, so at 2pm it will be too late to fix the problem. My dear wife gets home from work and I'm basically a train wreck of anger and frustration. She talks me down and we decide the lab guy and the nurse are just incompetent idiots and the vial is probably fine. And spoiler alert, it had 15 million sperm so it wasn't an IVF vial.  So we question the nurse about why the lab guy is washing our iui-ready sperm and she says basically she can't explain it. We ask that either she or the lab guy need to call Fairfax and talk about what was actually in the vial and why they are washing it. I mean, that is not normal, right? I'm concerned that this idiot lab guy is actually ruining my precious sperm! She agrees that they will return the bank's phone calls, but "definitely not today." And let the record reflect that this lab guy kind of actually sucks - we have had 3 iui's with this clinic - once, we had to wait 1.5 hours before he had the sperm ready. the second one, we had to wait 45 minutes. Why do we bother scheduling appointments so we can sit for that long in the f-ing waiting room? I have anger, friends. 

 

And let me tell you, the highlight of my day was having the world's most condescending fertility nurse see my precious lady bits and impale my cervix! that was so excellent! 

 

ANYWAY - ONWARDS TO THE TWW. Here's hoping we are so totally pregnant and we don't have to go through this crap again. At least not till the next baby. Also -- if anyone else is ovulating/insemm'ing today, our projected due date is 12/12/12 which is, be honest, totally fabulous. 



 

post #211 of 349

Invitin, you totally made the right decision to switch donors, imo. I was thinking while reading this post- before I got to the end- she really shouldn't have to deal with this extra stress during a time that is already stressful! 
I'm so glad to see that you also came to the same conclusion. You two deserve completely direct communication and no bullshit. Would you accept it from a partner? It sounds crazy-making! Imo you are very forgiving to see him as simply conflict avoidant. He sounds like an @$$ to me. lol. 

Quote:
Originally Posted by invitnconceptn View Post

AFM: I have had such an horrendous past few days that I needed my own separate post to just vent the struggle....So here it goes. About 12 days ago, I contacted our KD and let him know about the prospective timing of O and he let me know that he was helping out another couple from saturday the 17th to Tuesday the 20th. FF actually projected this weekend to be my most fertile time and   yet I completely understood KD's other commitment and asked if he could donate thursday the 15th or friday the 16th and then possibly the 21st if needed. It would be around my prospective fertile time and it was good enough for DW and I. At first KD said that this might work and then however starting focusing on thinking the timing wasn't going to be best for us to insem before and after the fertile window. I appreciated that he is somewhat knowledgable about these things but truly it is my DW and mine choice when we want to insem and I started to think that it was going to be more of a schedule conflict for him to donate when we were asking - we asked and he didn't say it was only kept focusing on what he thought was the best timing for us. After multiple text msgs without a direct answer "yes I will donate when you are asking" or "no that will not work for me," DW talked to him and he agreed to donate and ship the goods on thursday, the next day, and it would arrive on friday morning to insem. On thursday morning, I texted him a nice text that I was so excited to insem the next day - bc I thought it would actually turn out to be great timing seeing how my fertility signs were lining up- to which he responded that he was happy to do it. Well then later that night as I was getting ready for bed- I looked at my phone and he had texted that he had fell asleep after his job (he is a school teacher) and fedex was already closed. We of course called him (DW first called- bc I was of course like "WTF" and prolly needed to cool off).DW got off the phone and id'd that she couldn't get a straight answer from him about what he could do or couldn't do at this point. So I called him (was calmer at this point) and he kept repeating how he accidentally fell asleep and fedex was already closed. I id'd that I understood how these things happen and focused the conversation on what he could do at this point...meaning ship first thing in the morning...or afternoon...or evening to arrive on Saturday morning. It was very hard for him to focus on a plan, id'ing that he didn't have time the next day and this weekend he was helping another couple and then he id'd that possibly if he talked to the other couple about when they needed him then he could donate to me if I was willing to fly to him (he lives in Oklahoma and I live in Ohio) on his frequent flyer miles. I thought this was very generous and thought about it. DW was not ok with me flying to see him alone (I've never met him in person). I understood her point even though I would do almost anything at this point to get pregnant. I got off the phone with him- leaving it with him being open to any other options I had. So by this point it's midnight friday morning-I'm tired, and really angry deep inside that this is all happening. So ofcourse, I'm a fix-it person and I started getting online and researching different shipping options since he had limited time to go through out the day on friday to ship out his goods bc he was working. So then I discovered the Fedex or Ups dropbox option...meaning that KD could have donated in the morning bf he goes to work (I found a drop box right near his house- online) and drop it off in the drop box and I could have requested a pick up from the dropbox to be sent overnight. I thought that the solution was perfect and yet when I mentioned it to KD - he kept responding only that he didn't think that the sperm would live that long. I did my research and found that it would possibly be cutting it close on time- the icepak that keeps the sperm cool may start to cool down but obviously DW and I were willing to take our chance particularly since we had spent about 425 dollars in kits and gift cards to him to try to make this cycle work. I repeated let him know that I respected his thoughts about timing but id'd that DW and I were willing to take our chances and if he wasn't able to donate and drop off at a dropbox to please just let me know directly- instead of us debating about my timing. By this point it's 1:30am in the morning - (he stays up late) and he didn't respond to me via txt message. So friday morning - I communicated via text again- just ignoring the fact he didn't get back with me regarding the last text. I had a brilliant idea (at least I thought it was a good idea), I thought about taking him up on his offer to use his frequent flyer to fly to my parents house who live about 5-6 hrs away from him and then my parents could drive me down to Oklahoma to meet him to donate. It felt like a safer option then just meeting him alone. At first he responded positively and asked what day I would want to come. Ofcourse I id'd that I was flexible but it had to be this weekend- considering thinking I was going to get my LH surge any day now. Since he was working all day he told me that he would contact me on a break in the day-. By the end of the workday on friday- he hadn't contacted me and when I tried to check in with him about having talked to other couple about there specific plans- he simply id'd that he didn't know if he could help me know bc he had to help them- not confirming or clarifying that he had talked to them or not.

By the end of the day yday- I was fried and simply pissed- he hadn't made any attempts to help repair his mistake from the day before and was open to any other solution. Frankly I think he is a nice person but simply maybe is too nice and is somewhat overcommitted/overextended. We had only worked with him for 4 months and I felt like DW and I were starting to see another side- particularly how focused he was on telling me what I should do with my cycle- what would work or now. Even after DW and I would clearly id that we respected his opinion but we knew my cycle and when I was going to ovulate really wasn't his issue to worry about- he would still assert his opinions instead of just saying yes or no whether he could do something. I'm a mental health professional in my real life- and I think that I am a pretty reasonable person and communicator - but it was so difficult to talk to him over the phone. And unfortunately, being that he was out of state, the main mode of communication was over the phone or via text, which frankly didn't help the situation at times. I feel in the end that him giving alot of unsolicited feedback/even after we shared politely that it wasn't needed was his way of avoiding any conflict perceived in the communication. In conversation on the phone, he would repeat himself alot, and at first I thought it was bc he was somewhat nervous to talk on the phone, but then I started having the thought it could have been also his way to avoid any perceived conflict in the conversation- even though DW and I sounded very reasonable and calm (being assertive with I statements and trying to add humor when needed) . 

 

So in the end- I got home from work after a very hell past 16 hrs and I got a smiley on the OPK monitor....yes I got my surge and so I would ovulate w/in 24 hrs..which means if I would have insemmed in the morning like we had planned with his shipped fresh sperm-- it would have probably been the best timed prospective cycle I would have ever had. 

 

DW and I have decided to terminate our contract with KD....we are pissed...hurt...and dissappointed...and just done with KD. When telling him that we were done, I did wish that the women he was this weekend did get pregnant- and I did wish him well and I hope that he has a fine donating relationship with other women...For DW and I, he is just not the right donor. We need someone who is reliable and direct in their communication and able to assert their limits and not send mixed messages. Getting pregnant is probably something I think about on some level most hours of the day and I don't have any room to make this process more of an emotional rollercoaster than it needs to be.  At this point I think we will try to concentrate on finding a local donor...we'll see.

 

I'm going to move myself to "trying to figure things out" ....but through it all for rest of March, I am still going to try to be your dedicated threadkeeper.

 

I do wish everyone well in the tww and hopefully we can get a few more BFPs in the remaining weeks of March.

Sorry for the incredibly long post-----my rant is over.

 

 



 

post #212 of 349

 

Mrs2   My mouth dropped open when reading about your IUI.  I couldn't believe how you guys got treated.  I was so mad for you guys!

post #213 of 349

Mrsandmrs--I'm so sorry about the fiasco you had to endure yesterday!  That's ridiculous.  They need a customer service seminar.  It's stressful enough ttc without your healthcare professionals making it worse.  It sounds like they were very confused and just making things up to stall.  You don't need to wash IUI-ready samples, and it doesn't take that long to thaw out sperm.  I got frustrated with doing the IUI's at the RE so this time we did both at home with a midwife. They should make the office more like a spa instead of a doctor's office.  Wouldn't that be nice?  Soft colors, cozy rooms, warm blankets, maybe some music playing.

 

Are the other nurses and your doctor nicer and more together?  Does your bank only ship directly to the clinic, or are they storing the swimmers for you?  We pick ours up and then bring them to the RE with us, but they don't store it for us so we have to pick it up each month.  Good luck with the TWW!  I hope it's much more peaceful.  No symptoms yet here.  I also checked my possible due date and got 12-12-12, which I think is awesome, but another site told me 12-6-12.  Ok.  Whatever.

post #214 of 349

Wow, I have so much to catch up on! I only went back 2 pages so forgive me if I forget someone or have missed big news!

 

Cananny: Wow, I'm sorry about your back pain. I can totally relate. Good thing it happened when it did! Right before I was pregnant with DD my back went out and my acupuncturist worked on it - I didn't have issues again for almost 2 years! Have you started the medication to start AF? You are very patient...I would be going crazy waiting!
 

Hopeful: Hmm I'm not sure what to think about the lighter AF. Is it signifcantly lighter? Did it come at the "normal" time? Did it pick up at all? Are you taking any medications/herbs that could affect it? I don't think I'd worry about it if this was the first time it's happened and there are no other symptoms....unless it was significantly different.

 

rs: I'm sorry you are struggling with depression. Are you able to get any help in terms of a counsellor (if you're up for that). Acupuncture can help so much with the emotional part of it. I also second the idea of doing "fun" things and focussing on things that are "you" and make you happy. I hope you can get a handle on it - you might be pregnant so get ready for a whole new level of hormonal effects ;) And btw, you've probably heard it lots but cramping can honestly be a really, really positive sign. It is for me!


pokey: Happy Birthday! And welcome to the 2WW!

 

Allison: A BFP with a new move would be awesome! I hope your DP is feeling better - that sounds really challenging. And yes, the weather is crazy here. I'm totally looking forward to some warmth and sun in Vegas. Funny though, the weather network is calling for showers the day after we arrive! I know it won't last long but yikes! Congrats to your friend - she must be over the moon :) You asked me awhile ago if I ever go to the farmer's markets...yes, I do! I've actually never been to Nat Bailey but I go to the Trout Lake one in the summer and sometimes Kits.

 

mrs: Yikes. What a gong show. I would have been angry too! I hope it will all be worth it in the end.
 

Welcome, sotohana! I hope you get beginner's luck!
 

junebug: Stop peeing on sticks! It will just stress you out ;) Are you doing any early testing (hcg or u/s)?

 

 

Afm: I didn't hear back from the RE re: my blood test so I'm assuming they think my hcg is low enough not to worry (it was only 8). And I only spotted a tiny bit yesterday and none so far today. I've been temping and FF actually gave me crosshairs and the O date they chose lines up perfectly with the ewcm and cramping I was having. It was late in the cycle (CD23) but not crazy late. So, my hope is that I won't spot anymore and AF will show up between March 31 and April 2. I would then likely O around the middle of April. That's the plan in my head anyway - hopefully my body gets the memo ;) I'm not going to take clomid this time but might next time if necessary. Funny, if I get pregnant in April the baby would be due right around the same time as DD was due 3 years earlier. I can't believe how quickly time is flying by....
 

 

post #215 of 349


Thanks, Carmen! 

 

Also, I think that's really neat timing that your baby would be due around the same time as your DD was born. I think there is something to that timing thing. My brothers birthdays are two weeks apart and my sister's and my birthday are two weeks apart. Either my parents only had sex two times per year, or there was something bigger going on. Ha ha :)

 

~Abby

 

Quote:
Originally Posted by carmen358 View Post

 

 

Afm: I didn't hear back from the RE re: my blood test so I'm assuming they think my hcg is low enough not to worry (it was only 8). And I only spotted a tiny bit yesterday and none so far today. I've been temping and FF actually gave me crosshairs and the O date they chose lines up perfectly with the ewcm and cramping I was having. It was late in the cycle (CD23) but not crazy late. So, my hope is that I won't spot anymore and AF will show up between March 31 and April 2. I would then likely O around the middle of April. That's the plan in my head anyway - hopefully my body gets the memo ;) I'm not going to take clomid this time but might next time if necessary. Funny, if I get pregnant in April the baby would be due right around the same time as DD was due 3 years earlier. I can't believe how quickly time is flying by....
 

 



 

post #216 of 349

I wanted to comment on having a December baby...  being someone with a December birthday it does totally SUCK.  Though I did have one really cool ice skating party when I was growing up.  And my gifts were usually a lot smaller than what I saw my cousins getting for their birthday, probably because of money being tight around Christmas.  But my parents usually made sure to let Christmas affect my birthday.  And now that I'm older, my mom will ask if I want to combine my birthday and Christmas presents together and get one big gift.  I usually take her up on it, and then my mom wants me to open something up for Christmas still and ends up going overboard and pretty much getting me a whole 'nother set of Christmas presents.  This year I got a leather sofa, recliner, and toddler chair for the living room, which has been AWESOME.  So maybe having a December birthday has it up-sides too.  But not having warm weather does restrict party ideas if you live in a state that gets cold weather...  We run into that with DD's September birthday.

post #217 of 349

IUI scheduled for Saturday, ovidrel trigger tonight (eek!)

 

Bring on the Christmas baby!  It would be an inconvenient time to have a baby...so it's bound to work!

post #218 of 349
I'm a December baby too! And so is my DD! I'm the 1st and she's the 30th. (And so is our KD and my mom and my sister!) I honestly didn't notice any difference growing up in terms of celebrating or gifts. I did notice last year it was really busy setting up a birthday party for my DD 5 days after Christmas though. I was partied out by Jan 1st.
post #219 of 349

fingersx.gif for you! 

What is ovidrel, by the way?
 

Quote:
Originally Posted by wishin'&hopin' View Post

IUI scheduled for Saturday, ovidrel trigger tonight (eek!)

 

Bring on the Christmas baby!  It would be an inconvenient time to have a baby...so it's bound to work!



 

post #220 of 349

drive-by posting....

 

thanks everyone for sharing my painful experience! sorry to put you through it! 

 

pokey - I also thought you don't need to wash IUI samples (they are sold as "pre-washed/IUI-ready." We are shipping to the clinic and storing there. I'm feeling like maybe it would be better to switch donors and banks to someone who will ship to our home! Do you know if it is detrimental to wash a pre-washed sample? Like, isn't he probably killing off the little swimmers? I would assume so but I'm not an expert. My wife made the nurse promise that the lab guy would call the bank and discuss this, but for some reason I feel like that might not happen....

 

In other news, I just read about my clinic on yelp. Of course the reviews are almost entirely bad. One lady wrote a scathing one-star review and then edited her review to say that the clinic saw her post and now they refuse to treat her! If they behave in such a retaliatory manner, I feel like there's nothing we can do until we're out of the baby-making business. My fingers are crossed for twins so we can be DONE making babies and write some nasty yelp reviews about them. Yes, I did just wish for twins out of spite! Anger! 

 

I am being so totally zen, though. Really. Totally calm and nurturing my zygote(s).

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