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Queer Conceptions March 2012 - Page 3

post #41 of 349
Rs, I do work in NICU. I love it. Great coworkers, amazing families, extremely rewarding... My coworkers know we're TTC and are so supportive! I've been told that pumping at work is a non issue too, even if I induce lactation.

Outdoorsy: good luck! Sounds really exciting.

Nos, my dad is in your neck of the woods until next week for work, kinda nifty.

post #42 of 349

Ugh. I'm 13 Dpo. My temp dropped significantly, I'm super bloated and feeling PMSy, the CBE digi said those horrible words this morning: Not Pregnant, and the FRER only had one line yesterday. I'm trying to put my big girl pants on and get ready for the next cycle and thinking about a bottle of the kraken. ttc-ing is driving me to drink!


the kraken

post #43 of 349

Hi everyone.


MrsandMrs, I'm sorry. That one bleak line is such a terrible sight. Enjoy the small consolation prize of a stiff drink.


Krista, as everyone else has said, there is nothing adequate to say. I've been following your journey for a long time, and I send you hugs and support.


Everyone else, I'm sorry for being short on personals. I'm definitely finding that the difference between my first round of TTC (as a childless grad student) and this round (as a full-time working parent) is a lack of time to answer thoroughly and hang out online! I am reading along and cheering everyone on.


As for me, there is a tank of sperm in my living room and I am suddenly convinced that I'm not going to ovulate. Or I won't ovulate in time. Or I'll decide that I'm not going to ovulate, send the tank back, and then ovulate. Or that I'll somehow accidentally melt and destroy $1200 worth of sperm. Deep breaths... The tank is good til Friday, but I have to ship it by Wednesday if I want to re-bank them at the bank. If I don't get a positive OPK by tomorrow I'll start investigating local options for getting the tank recharged. Deep breaths...


Also, someone asked earlier we're using the same donor as with number one. We're not, for a couple of reasons. One is that there was a medical issue involving one of the other children born via our first donor, and we decided better safe than sorry. The other is that when I got pregnant the first time, I was originally planning to be as a single parent by choice. (My DP and I started dating when I was three months pregnant, so I never actually became a single parent.) Since DP wasn't around for the choosing of the donor, he really wanted to be involved in that part of the process this time. Our new donor is one who looks more like DP than the previous donor, but more importantly, DP picked him out, and felt some agency in the process.


Okay, back to work. Happy Monday!

post #44 of 349
Allison: we didn't buy anything before getting pregnant. We bought a onesy when visiting NYC and I was pregnant before conceiving DD but that's all. And, we didn't actually set up a nursery...DD slept with us and still does and we didn't have a crib or much gear. Our 2nd bedroom has only in the recent past become a playroom of sorts. It was hard to resist cute cloth diapers and clothes but we did until quite far into my pregnancy. However, I don't think you'll jinx anything.....if it feels ok to call it the baby's room then call it that! Positive thinking wink1.gif

Outdoorsy: I too am grateful for every 2ww! Thanks for the reminder!

Mrsandmrs: sorry this time didn't work out. Good idea to focus on next cycle...

Angela: big hugs. It's probably just first time jitters and anticipation...it will work out. I don't know why but I feel like you'll get pregnant quickly for #2!

Afm: I started my cleanse. I ended up choosing just the 12 day wild rose cleanse (I've done it several times over the years). The 21 day one was going to cost me 300 bucks or so so I decided on the 12 day herb cleanse but will follow the diet plan for the full 21 days. I love cleansing, it always feels great to me. My back is slightly better and I'm back at work. I'm still spotting on cd10 which I was expecting. I hope af comes on time still!
post #45 of 349

Wishing aid and healing to everyone (not necessarily on here) affected by the tornadoes.


Pretty quiet around here. Invitn? Nosreves? How are you?


Mrsandmrs - so sorry about the BFNs. But it's not over till

AF af.gif sings.


Allison - thanks!


Angela - I have been there. Once I had to re-bank, and it was stressful. I never thought of recharging the tank. Good luck.


Carmen - Enjoy the cleanse!


AFM - Temp was way down this a.m., just barely above cover. Crampiness is a little more pronounced. Hopefully this is not AF coming. It would be way early for me to cramp for AF anyway.


I notice that Fertility Friend recommends a test date that's several days after my period would be expected -- does anyone actually follow that?

post #46 of 349
Originally Posted by outdoorsy View Post
I notice that Fertility Friend recommends a test date that's several days after my period would be expected -- does anyone actually follow that?

I have heard of these rare creatures who do not test before their expected AF date. I myself used to whip out the pee sticks at 9dpo. Both times I got pregnant (one m/c) I got a very faint positive by then, though I know lots of other people who don't get their BFPs until much later.

post #47 of 349

Allison: I'm glad you find your work so fulfilling! It is so important, but it's not something I could ever do.


Mrs2: I'm sorry about the BFN. Have fun with the alcohol while you can!


Angela: It's just jitters. You'll ovulate! I hope you get pregnant quickly with this one.


Outdoorsy: I've only gotten to take a test once, but my plan is always to test on the day AF is due. If it's negative then, AF is coming; but if it's negative a few days before that,  you could still be pregnant. I wouldn't have the patience to wait until several days after AF was due!


AFM: No real side effects on any of the many drugs yet. Only some breast tenderness and a little bit of moodiness. We ordered our swim team today. We switched donors this month, and the new guy is VERY Irish, red hair and all. Even green eyes. Both DW and I have a lot of Irish in our background, so we're hoping the luck o' the Irish will strike us this month.

post #48 of 349
Thread Starter 

Angela: First I just want to say that I don't think that you are crazy for not temping. DW would like to throw out my BBT into the street sometimes. She tries to be so scientific with these things...and thinks that there are so many variables that can screw up BBT reading so she doesn't take it seriously. I think that temping can be particularly unnerving when using fertility friend. During one cycle it changed my coverline several times due to my erratic temps (one due to me not feeling well and was higher than normal before I O'd. With all that said, I still temp even though it's maddening. It gives me some small bit of control. I encourage you to breathe and not get so worried about get an OPK. I know this is easier said than done. I have a tendency to worry myself about this. Have you considered varifying with the other fertility signs, CM and cervix position and opening?


RS: I think it is awesome that your doctor gave you sample meds. Thank you for your explanation about the 6 cycle rule with IUIs. Good luck with your very Irish donor. shamrocksmile.gif


Carmen: I really admire your cheerful spirit about starting again in April. I wish you lots of health and healing right now. 


Nos: The town you travel to in Belguim sounds dreamy. Yeah for a well timed insem!!!!!


Allison: Good luck at the ND. Have you been before? I've been seriously thinking about going to see a ND. My friend's ND is 200 minimum for the first consultation- that's w/o insurance. This has been my only hesitation so far. I would love to know what the ND says about the sx you have been having. I completely understand your hesitation with getting a room together for your future child. Right now, DW and I have designated a similar room in our house- a zen room. It's where I can do Yoga and we both can meditate. So perhaps for now you can make the room for now something that would be helpful to both of you right now.


Bwilliamson: Here are my thoughts about POAS before your vacation. Pros- You would know something and could all the tears out so you can regroup and focus on being distracted by the awesomeness of your vacation. Cons- You would know something and it's possible that all the tears would not be cried out. I think it's very reasonable to be emotional somewhat on vacation if you do get AF there but in the end- what an amazing distraction to have!!! I think that vacations bring such needed perspective to our lives. Regardless of your POAS decision- have an amazing time on vacation!!


Krista: simply <<<hugs>>> to you


Outdoorsy: Thanks for your shout out. I didn't even know that it was possible to have a solid cover line until I read your post. Apparently I have always had "conflicting" information for fertility friend. Maybe that explains something. Speaking of FF, I have never gotten far enough w/o AF coming to wait to POAS when ff suggests.  Despite your temp going down, you are still in the game until you-know-who arrives. fx still crossed for you. I particularly liked your perspective on tww being a hopeful time. I do agree to a point. I think that the last few days of it can be so difficult.


Speaking of which, Mrs and Mrs: sorry to hear about the BFN. BFNs suck so badly. But w/o AF you are still a contender this cycle in my book. fx still crossed for you.


Pokeycip: Thank you for sharing your story about your friend. It definitely gave me needed perspective.


Sky: welcome to the tww and good luck!! Hope the new donor works for you!


Cananny:so sorry to hear about your impending AF. Good luck at your RE appt. As for the Y, have fun. I discovered our downtown Y when I went with a friend a month ago. 


Amt: fx crossed for you. No surprising sx on my end <sigh> ...it is what it is.


Essenbee:DW's family is from Louisville and she was so worried about them, especially her gma last week. Hope your family and friends are ok.


AFM: So I think I'm 12 dpo and I'm refusing to POAS. I don't want the heartache right now. Having PMs like sx are heartache enough right now...so I just wait and try to focus on everything else around me. DW tried to tell me tonight to try to be positive. It's weird it's not like I'm not positive...or negative..I'm just cautious. I don't want to read into my symptoms. At the same time the symptoms distract me and I can't help but notice them. So DW and I got in an argument about me not appreciating her advice. I asked her to get back to me at the end of this week about her advice..you know once the dust from this current cycle settles. Nothing more to report for now. Me and my crampy legs are headed to bed. 


I hope you all sleep well and have a wonderful Tuesday!! Ofcourse...dust.gif

post #49 of 349

We haven't had a question of the day in a little while.  Here's one for brain food!


How long will you try and how far will you go to get pregnant?  Do you have a ceiling cap of money?  A plan B?  Discuss.


We will stop before IVF for DW, capped off at 18-24 rounds of trying (depending on if we actually conceive and m/c or not), then switch to me (although if I have PCOS this complicates it slightly).  If neither of us can get pregnant, we will adopt.  We plan to adopt after our 2 bio kids anyways.  I gave up the idea of a biologically related-to-me child when I came out at age 16, since at the time getting legally married was impossible, and it became pretty clear that I wouldn't have access to sperm quite that easily, and since I felt so strongly about adoption that I just want some snotty kid wailing "MAAAAMAAAAAAAAAA, I HURRDED MYSELF!!! WAAAAAH"... except that when I hit my early 20's my body FREAKED OUT wanting to be pregnant, and now it punishes me every month for not being pregnant (brutal, mind bending cramps, exhaustion, etc).  I'm confident in our destiny to be parents, it just depends on what that looks like!  :D


Although it did take SIX YEARS to convince my mom that yes I still wanted to be a parent.  The idea that she would never be a grandmother (she's pretty much given up hope on my brother) was worse than anything about my coming out.  She's been after me since I was 16 to have a baby (not seriously), so when we finally announced that we were going to start actively trying, she was so excited.  I think she's started knitting baby stuff in secret... but not sure.  ;)

post #50 of 349

oh, and inviting, yes I've seen an ND before.  I love the two I have seen!  I always seem to get really really amazing ones, and my allopathic doctor is also totally amazing (and surprisingly up on her knowledge of dealing with lesbians attempting to get pregnant!).  Worth every cent (my benefits cover a very small portion of the cost, we just make it work, especially for DW!).  It's given me a new relationship with my body, which has been incredibly refreshing.  As for the baby's room (we keep default calling it that, so that's what it is), since we're planning to co-sleep (well..... I am.  DW isn't quite on board, but I think once she's sleep deprived enough from nursing every couple of hours she'll come around... hahaha!) I really don't think we'll use the room much at all in the first several months we have a newborn... thus, it will be our yoga/zen room, just like you guys!  We do have a baby altar on top of our dresser (wedding picture of us, baby picture of our KD, a pair of baby socks which were the very first thing we ever bought for our not-yet-existant tiny human, some candles, some rainbow beads, a singing bowl and some crystals), so that won't move...  and we have some baby clothes in our closet, they just kinda hang out there and we pull them out and fawn over them every so often.  It works out that we're moving, because we are building space for the baby into the new place, instead of making space in our current place (which we kinda already had anyways, since if we had gotten pregnant early in our trying we would be nearly our due date now).  


Good luck with your POAS!  I tease DW (gently) about her obsession with it... I find it just ramps up too much, like you.  So far nothing but crushing disappointment...  Anyways, KD should be here in about 15 minutes for our evening round... cheers to all!!

post #51 of 349

Good Tuesday to all!!


Mrs2- So sorry for the BFN. I know how painful that can be.


Nos-Where are you hiding?! How are you feeling? How is DP?


Carmen-I hope you are feeling better and your cleanes works wonders for you!


Auf-7DPO and still nothing really. I am off work today but I have to take DW to the neuro dr for a check up. I am hopeing he takes her off the meds he put her on 3 months ago but I don't think he will since they seem to be working. We just have to deal with her getting sick every few weeks. Oh well...


dust.gifTO ALL!!

post #52 of 349

Afternoon everyone.


rs11 - good luck with your new Irish donor!


invitn - so sorry to hear about the PMS symptoms. I know you don't want to test right now, but do you have a test plan? Are you just going to wait and see if AF is late?


Amt - good luck to you in the TWW.


AFM - 8 DPO, according to FF. Uterine sensation has mostly subsided after peaking yesterday. Breasts are more tender, but still not feeling heavy. Temp was up a few tenths this morning. I figured out why FF suggests a test date that's several days later than my period is expected. It's because this is the first month of data I've submitted to FF, so it doesn't have any data about the normal length of my luteal phase and wants me to play it safe. But I know from past cycles that 14 days should be fine. Since 14 DPO falls on a Monday, I may want to break down and test Sunday, at 13 DPO. But I know early testing is hazardous, so we'll see. I have two tests left over from previous months: one a pink line FRER, one a CE digital. I am definitely using the pink line one first.

post #53 of 349
Hi all!

In spite of my dire predictions, got my positive OPK last night and insemmed today. One more tomorrow morning!

Really happy to be past the waiting to O anxiety, though not looking forward to the next two weeks of waiting.

Also, I'm glad we did this cycle at home, because between our work and teaching schedules, there was a 2 hour window when DP and I were both free. Can't imagine trying to work a doctor's schedule in there too!

Sorry- on my phone and having trouble with personals, but thinking fertile thoughts for everyone, especially those of you getting close to testing.
post #54 of 349
Thread Starter 

Angela: Congrats on insemming!!



So overall I'm in a piss poor mood today....why is it that the only day I can correctly predict is the day that AF will come? Cuss.gif Anyway..........Yep today as I thought, I started to spot early and then AF was here w/o question by 3pm today. Without fail on the day AF arrives, it's hard to hold back (but I do) the waves of feelings that arise. It just sucks! It is simply unfair! And I feel like absolutely poop to boot. The things that made the later part of the day better: the sun (it was about 60 plus degrees here in Central Ohio), getting Pizza, and a free movie from the video store (who goes to video stores anymore?) The movie: My idiot brother. It's a great feel good movie on days like this.


I hope everyone's day was better than mine. 

post #55 of 349
Thread Starter 

photo for AF days.JPG

post #56 of 349
Thread Starter 

I can't believe I found a way to insert the above photo -- I'm not a computer person. Anyway, this button that DW found for me at a local craft store says it all... I typically wear it on the first and second day of AF to honor my process. Perhaps folks here can relate?

post #57 of 349


Allison: My mother was the exact same way. I have three older siblings, none of which have ever shown any signs of wanting children. My brother is the only one who is married/in a serious relationship. She was always so sad that she wouldn't have grandchildren. She even got a job at a daycare because of it! Fortunately for her, my brother's wife is now pregnant (after 10 years of marriage). She's ecstatic! And she is soooooo excited that DP and I are also trying.


Question for you all: Does anyone have any experience with NW Cryobank? We are thinking about switching to them from California Cryobank so we can afford to inseminate twice per cycle. I love their prices, but they don't give you a very good bio on the donors. Also, they don't state the donor's race, just their ethnicity. I'm kind of iffy about them, but it would be great to be able to afford to do it twice.  


I tested today because I couldn't stand to wait any longer. I'm 9DPO and got a BFN. Hopefully it was just too early!

post #58 of 349
Inviting, that pin is hysterical!!!! I've always envisioned the start of AF as my uterus flailing my Fallopian tubes and ovaries around and making a Xena war cry... Mostly cuz I'm in agony for the first 24 hours, and I always feel like my body is punishing me for not being pregnant.... But seriously, love the pin!!!!
post #59 of 349

Invitin: I'm sorry about AF. I hope next cycle will be the one for you. And I love, love, love that button!


Outdoorsy: Those are some really promising symptoms! I've got my Fx for you!


Bwilliams: Nine days is waaaayyyyy to early to test. Even if you're pregnant, the hcg won't have built up enough to be detectable by most pregnancy tests.


Amt: Let us know how the doctor's appointment went!


Allison: We would stop at IVF, but only because of financial issues. Adoption would be a long, hard road for us given where we live.


AFU: I took the last of the drugs Monday night and my appointment is on Friday. I've been having minor depression issues, but that's to be expected with all of the hormones coursing through my body!

DW's biopsies were yesterday. They weren't easy, but she was a real trooper. (I, OTOH, almost passed out when I saw one of the tools they were using.) We'll have the results in a couple of days. They drained the cyst on her cervix during the biopsy, so hopefully that will get better. She's been in a LOT of pain this week. She couldn't go to work yesterday or Monday and has been taking lortabs (and if you knew my wife, you'd know what a struggle it is to get her to take tylenol, much less anything stronger! she hates pills).

post #60 of 349

Invitn - that button is FANTASTIC.  Hilarious.  I'm so sorry AF showed up.  


bwilliamson - we used NW Cryobank and were satisfied with them.  I know they don't give out the most information and they've only just started offering baby photos of certain donors, but we couldn't afford the other banks, at least not if we wanted to double inseminate every cycle.  Some donors have more genetic testing than others, some have better bios than others.  And it is definitely a bummer when you order an extended profile only to discover that much of it was redacted to protect the donor's identity... but all of those things said, we've been satisfied with them.  There is a whole forum of women at www.iamtryingtoconceive.com who use their sperm with success.  If you look down on the main Queer Parenting page, there's a NW Cryobank thread.  Actually, there are several, because I started one thread when we started researching and a few others have done the same thing.  If you have any other questions (or want to know which extended profiles we've got to share!) feel free to message me.  Good luck!  


Angela - glad you ovulated!!  Hooray!  


Hoping you all are well.  

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