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~~Infertility ONE Thread March 2012~~ - Page 9

post #161 of 253
Oh Deborah, I'm so sad to hear that. I'll be praying for you here as well.
post #162 of 253
Thread Starter 
Deborah - I've been following your situation on the grad thread and I am so sad for you. That is absolutely heartbreaking. I hope the delivery happens quickly and without any difficulties and that you can have time to grieve your loss afterwards.
post #163 of 253

Deborah - I am so sorry. You and your DH are in my prayers. Praying the delivery goes smoothly and without complication.

post #164 of 253

Deborah - So very sorry to hear that :(


post #165 of 253


Originally Posted by Sourire View Post
kparker - I'm so excited to hear another IUI success story! What meds were you on this cycle? Can you tell us more about the changes you've made in your life over the past year? We all love hearing what people did differently to succeed.

Sorry for going awol, I acquired a sinus infection and secondary ear infections and have been nearly bedridden miserable last two weeks, since there's hardly anything I can take right now.

Had the 2 blood draws, 18dpo and 21 dpo, 534 and 1613 for betas (since I last left off with bloodwork, I think). My first u/s is Monday, I'll be 6 weeks.

This past year, well. I quit my job just prior to doing the first set of IUIs last year. I was still stressed out about that/finances/etc. My dog was on the books to be put down last May, I was stressed/depressed about that. I basically took the rest of last year to just relax, work out, lose some weight (ultimately only 7 lbs out of the goal of 25 lol which I've already regained) and enjoy my life as it was, just me and my husband and our pets. I made several garden beds in the back yard. I grew my own food. I installed the fish pond and watched my fish reproduce and my lilies bloom. It was a very zen summer compared to the rest of my life up until this point, really. I had to set my priorities straight.  I think just being that much happier, centered, whatever, really helped. I didn't care if the IUI worked or not this time (vs stressing myself sick last 3). If it worked, it worked. If it didn't, we'd try again eventually. I'm typically incredibly pessimistic but I think, for myself personally, that the attitude adjustment was what really helped. Granted, I did have the HSG the month prior which I've been told can help, but other than that all that changed was time and mentality. I did the same drugs combo as last three, clomid on days 5-9 and hcg trigger then IUI, prometrium twice a day after that.

Did anyone else have severe lower back pain in the first few weeks? I can barely walk some days. It's ridiculous. It started at 4 weeks. I mean, really?


post #166 of 253

Far out.  Deborah, I know I don't "know" you - but I am so sorry for the loss of your boys.   candle.gifcandle.gif

Please don't hold back on my account (speaking as newbie).  

I'm only too aware that there is no "safe zone" in pregnancy.  


I hope that your doctor/midwife etc have put you in touch with some support.  I know there's a time difference, but I really want to encourage you to contact NILMDTS

Or get someone to do it for you.  It's a free service, and they can come in a real hurry.  They take beautiful photos.  It might not seem important now, but I'm sure you won't regret it.  


I hope that your delivery is as best as it can be.  You and your boys will be in my thoughts. 


I know that it is very early days, but you might find some comfort in the Loss forums.  

post #167 of 253

Deborah - I am so sorry.

post #168 of 253

Deborah - I know I sent you love on the IVF thread, but wanted to do the same here.  I'm hoping that everything goes as smoothly as possible, and please know that you are in my prayers. 

shesaidboom - I know this is totally OT, but (if you are willing) can you give us a little insight as to what may have caused the eating disorder?  I know that it's like so many other things that once you are 'over/cured' from it, you never really are.  It's something that you live with everyday, so if you don't want to talk about it I understand.  I was a competitive gymnast for many many years, and watched eating disorders tear up people I knew and loved, but never struggled myself.  I'm keeping my fingers crossed that it won't take long to get there, and please make sure that you keep yourself healthy while doing it.  While I don't have the experience, and I don't know if any others on the board do, please come and talk to us anyway if you need to - it's better than slipping back into something that I'm sure took you a long time to beat!!!  I'm going to keep you in my prayers.

Gem - HI wave.gif  Hope you feel better soon!  (with my DD I dealt with morning sickness until I was like 18 weeks along, and then it came back, although not as bad, in the 3rd trimester.  Ugh, I feel for you!)

Milk - I agree, adversity CAN and WILL make relationships stronger, but yes, you absolutely have to work for it.  And unfortunately when it's something so straining it's sometimes easier to walk away.  I'm so glad that everything worked out, and when I think about what could have happened (although I don't let myself do it often) it scares me to tears.  To think I almost lost the absolute best thing in my life, but didn't....  Those docs really are Asshats!!!  I would be pissed too, and maybe that anger will help you to find the right doc that will actually listen to you!!! 

kparker - I'm sorry that you've been sick!  I'm glad that your betas came back good, and congrats again!  I honestly don't remember if I had lower back pain in the first few weeks, but it wouldn't surprise me as everything is starting to grow in there, and putting pressure on spots that normally don't have pressure!



post #169 of 253
mexilady: good to see you on here - we miss you! Not sure what you're doing this cycle (my brain is total mush lately), but I hope the start of spring is treating you with love and hope!

milk: So exciting that you're meeting with the top specialist! I totally get wanting to be a realist and not getting your hopes up each time (what's the point when the fall is so hard). But, I do wonder how much of that feeling is because you've had such crap doctors? I wonder if you had a) more answers on possible immune issues and b) a better doctor who knows what the heck compassion is.... then there might be reason to hope again? That's one of the things I love about this forum. I know that when I'm have a crap day and I can't muster the hope for myself, tha tthere are all these other women around the world who are pulling for me and a BFP. So, that said.... be as totally chill as you want, I'll just sit here in NY doing the happy hope dance for you smile.gif Also, never heard the term asshats before, but totally adopting it into my lexicon!

hope: yay!! so glad to hear that you started the lupron! what's the next step? I still haven't figured out all of the pieces to IVF.... trying to learn the bits and pieces so I'll be prepared if we get there. Sorry you're so tired. One of those fun side effects, eh?

SilaMarila: Jealous!!! I want to camp with the dolphins! That's not even an option for us. Though, we are big water people so we always camp on lakes or big rivers. I think there's something in the air with diets - maybe it's where the moon is in its cycle. I don't know anyone who's been able to keep to their diet who has started something in the last two weeks. I'm sure once AF passes, you'll be back on track. I'm giving myself through the weekend, and then I'm getting my tushy back on the diet wagon! I'm sorry you had the same situation with your DH, but clearly, I got your back. Sometimes I just want to hit him over the head (with like a pillow - not a frying pan - although the latter might be more effective) and say, dude grow up. It takes two to tango! I guess my other big fear is that when we do have a child, I'm going to be parenting alone the way I feel I'm trying to get pregnant alone. This assessment is not 100% fair - I realize that. Like your DH going to his appointments, mine technically does what he's supposed to do. But, I feel like I have to fight or beg to get him to do anything more than the minimum. I think our talk really helped. And, your right. His motility numbers were really not good. But, at this point, I felt like I needed to boost his ego a bit. It's just so weird b/c his SA comes back normal. I also hear you on the money front. So far, everything has been covered by insurance. Now that something might actually be wrong with him (and he's not covered for IF because of his age), the idea of paying a doctor is really annoying him. I'm sorry your DH is having such a hard time with it too. Maybe if you wrote down a list of all the little things you guys spend money on, it might help to contextualize things for him? Do you think the IVF resistance is just about $$ or do you think it's scary for him to go to the next step? That's what I'm trying to figure out with my DH. At any rate, I'm sorry you guys are at each other. That's always the worst! Hopefully, you will get to rekindle your intimacy soon!!

Sourire: We actually had abstained for 48 hours, but he had a bike ride the day before so I'm thinking that had something to do with it. Who knows? I think things have definitely been better since we had our talk which is good! Yay for trigger and IUI - hope all went well!!! Your follicle and lining sound gorgeous! I'm going to say that you will have a BFP this month!! Down with routine predictable cycles!!

Brichole: I'm so sorry you're having a tough time sweetie. We're all here pulling for you! Big hugs!

shesaidboom: Ugh, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to pry. I know how difficult weight issues can be. I wonder if the same BMI requirement would apply here? I just did the calculations (because, I'm over 30 too, by a lot). I'd need to lose 45lbs to get under 30. The frustrating part is that I've only really ever lost weight on a protein rich diet (Dukan) but the shaman doesn't want me to eat meat except for fish. Well, I don't eat fish and I don't eat beans. So the two kind of don't go together. That said, I think I need to just tell Itzhak that I gotta go back to meat! I'm here to cheer you on!!! If you ever want to talk about this stuff and you don't want to do it in the forum, I'm happy to "listen" over PM smile.gif (also, don't know if you've tried Dukan, but it's really all about metabolism - I could send you the details over PM if you're interested). With all of that said, I think it sucks big time that your doctor told you to lose it in whatever way possible. Not super healthy to say that to anyone let alone someone who is trying to conceive. Also, if you're healthy otherwise (blood pressure, cholesterol, etc.), then I don't think so much emphasis should be put on weight. So frustrating. I'm so sorry. It's like this double edged sword of them saying yes you can have the IVF, but first you have to do this craziness over here. It's so not fair. And, if weight is such a big issue for pregnancy, then why haven't they said anything before? Why do an IUI in that case? Grr... I want to scream for you. I'm sending you a huge, huge hug.

Gemmine: We miss you! I really have to go stalk you and Wissa over in the graduates. I'm having so much trouble keeping up over here smile.gif

AFM: Had my p4 test yesterday. My RE likes to see a minimum of 10, and the highest I've ever had is 10. Well, this month it was 18.4 smile.gif Not sure what that means exactly. Wondering if it's because we did the trigger on day 15 instead of day 11? And don't want to get too excited b/c p4 levels don't have anything to do with the likelihood of pregnancy, right? But, honestly, I almost had a heart attack when she told me the number. I could not believe it. She actually had to keep repeating the number. Just makes me feel like things are falling into place. Also, had a difficult but good conversation with my mom about something from my childhood. Just feels like things are opening up - does that make sense? Any way ladies, it's a gorgeous Friday morning here in NY. We actually had to sleep with our fan on last night. Feeling like Spring is really going to bring renewal to all of us.
post #170 of 253
Deborah: I just caught up. I can't believe it. I am so, so sorry. I will keep you and your family in my thoughts. I hope you are able to find quiet and peace to grieve your loss.
post #171 of 253

I said this on other threads, but I wanted to say it here too, Deborah, I am so sorry. hug2.gif


Milkshake - nice to see you back!

post #172 of 253

Deborah, I am so sorry, praying for a peaceful delivery.

post #173 of 253
Thread Starter 
brichole - so glad to hear from you. I hope you and DH manage to find some more time to spend together and that this rough patch you guys are going through is only temporary. Hugs to you.

Sila - wow those IVF stats are incredible, much higher than at my clinic!

It does feel like the first part of my cycle goes by crazy fast, mainly because I'm Oing a week earlier than my normal with all these meds. However for me the 2nd half of my cycle feels like it drags on forever, in part because I'm used to it being a week shorter and also because the Crinone makes me feel like crap.

The 6 month wait is due to IVF being free in Quebec so now so many people want to do it that there simply aren't enough fertility clinics to keep up with the demand. Before it became free in 2010 there was no waiting list.

Are you taking Clomid this month while waiting for all your test results? I've never heard of not being able to have sex before the HSG, my clinic never said anything about that when I had mine. Me and DH are both low sex drive people, we can easily go 2 weeks or more without sex and neither of us has a problem with it. It was such a relief when we started IUIs because trying to BD every 1-2 days was quite a challenge!

shesaidboom - I'm glad you have a dietician to work with, it sounds like she will be a great resource to make sure you lose the weight as quickly and safely as possible. It sucks that the RE is not very supportive of helping you lose weight in a healthy way. I'm guessing it's because the RE doesn't know much about nutrition and weight loss! It really seems like doctors don't learn anything about nutrition in med school, even though it is one of the most important factors of peoples' health. My BIL and SIL are both family doctors and you should see the crap they feed their kids, it makes me cringe every time I see it. Feel free to talk about your weight loss as much as you'd like in this thread. I for one am super interested in hearing about it.

Gemmine - hi!

Milk - I'm officially declaring you the resident lap expert! You can expect a lot of questions from me on the topic as I suspect I have endo and want to convince my RE to do a lap to confirm my suspicions. What signs from your cycles make you think you'll need another lap soon? Did you notice a big difference in your cycles before and after your laps?

The podcast I listen to is called Creating a Family, Sila introduced me to it and it's great! The host interviews all kinds of experts on topics such as infertility, psychology, adoption and miscarriage. I often listen to them while I'm at work. Here is the link to the episode on endo:
It's the June 24 episode.

kparker - sorry to hear you've been so sick! I hope you get better soon. Let us know how your u/s goes on Monday! Wow, it sounds like your new zen lifestyle and attitude really must have helped you get pregnant. Good for you for being able to make those changes. I really want to work on those types of changes for myself as well. I'd love to quit my job and just focus on myself, but DH flipped out when I mentioned working part time, he'd be even more upset if I quit entirely.

Teresa - congrats on the great p4 number. Didn't you have 2 mature follies this month? That could explain the higher p4, since progesterone is produced by the corpus luteum that is left over after you ovulate, and if you have 2 of them then you would probably be getting more progesterone than you would with one.

AFM - I'm sitting in the waiting room at the fertility clinic waiting for my IUI. I'll report back afterwards to let you guys know how it goes.
post #174 of 253

Deborah, sorry to hear of your loss of your identical twin boys.  So sad.


I would like to join this board.  This morning my DH and I got the news that in his sperm analysis there were no sperm - azoospermia.  We have been TTC for almost a year.  I found out I was hypothyroid back in October and had been working to get that regulated, thinking I was the problem in our lack of conception.  But no sperm - I had no idea that was even remotely going to be a problem for DH and me.  I am 35, DH is 40.  We have been TTC since April 2011.  Have an appointment with the urologist on April 27th.


From what I have read, none of the ladies currently on this board have issues with their male partners have azoospermia but please point me in the best direction, if there is one.

post #175 of 253
Thread Starter 

I'm freaking out!!!!


I had my IUI this morning. The sperm wash report DOES NOT MAKE SENSE. Here are the numbers:



Volume 1.5 ml

Motility 60%

Concentration 65 mil/ml

Total motile sperm 58.5 mil



Volume 0.5 ml

Motility 95%

Concentration 200 mil/ml

Total motile sperm 95 mil


How can there be MORE total motile sperm after the wash???? That is impossible. I am having a HUGE freak-out right now because I'm convinced they mixed up the sperm samples. I left a message at the clinic, they better call me back SOON!!!!!!


post #176 of 253

I'll post more in a bit, I just wanted to say Sourire, that same thing happens every time we have a sperm wash. I think it's just that after the wash there is more motile sperm in the final sample. I asked about it before and the explanation was something like that. I don't think they'd have mixed up the samples! I hope they call you back quickly though.

post #177 of 253
Thread Starter 
Well I can understand that it would be normal for the concentration to be higher (sperm per ml) but I absolutely cannot conceive how it would be possible for the total # of sperm in the sample to have gone up. It simply defies logic.
post #178 of 253

FYI: Delivering in 2- 2 1/2 hours.

post #179 of 253

Deborah, hug2.gifJust thinking of you and hoping the delivery goes smoothly. 

post #180 of 253

Deborah - I have been thinking about you today as well.  I truly hope that everything goes as smoothly as possible.  You have been a help and inspiration for so many of us during our IF journeys.  I hope you have been able to feel all the love and support from so many of the women here on mothering.  We are here for you -- whatever you need to get thorough this.

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