~~Infertility ONE Thread March 2012~~ - Page 13

[wissa19]

Sila & Mexi - Yeah for good HSG results.  Hope you get the fertility boost from it.

toothfairy -  I'm so glad your lap went well.  The gas pains are the worst part, if you ask me.  It amazes me that you had a choc cyst and your RE never mentioned it!   Honestly, I can't believe they would with hold  that kind of information.  In any case, it sounds like you are on the road to a good recovery and hopefully a baby.  I really do think my lap helped me get my BFP.

Sourire - Yeah! for getting a lap.  I know who really wants surgery, but as I said above I think it helped me.  As for moving on the injectables, try not be nervous about the multiples.  The next cycle I did was going be a femara/follistim cycle.  My RE really reassured me that the chances of multiples was really low.  However, I was the point that I didn't really care anymore.  I was just really to throw everything at it and if it didn't work move on.

Milkshake -  I'm so sorry you got such shocking news from the doctor.   I can understand why you never thought IVF.  That's kind of the way I've always thought of IVF.  I know there are programs out there to help with the cost of IVF...kind like a monthly payments rather paying it all up front.  I don't what PGD is, but I feel a google search coming on.

I'm glad he suggested a doc that will be aggressive and give you the predinosone.  I know you've been frustrated about that for a long time.  I hope your test results are able to tell you something!!  I really don't know what else to say...Just Bless your heart.  You've been thorough so much, but you just keep fighting.

[zubeldia]

Crashing here to say, wow, milk, that appointment sounds completely intense and so full of hope. As I read I was almost quivering with excitement that someone COMPETENT is taking you seriously. And, indeed, is understanding the urgency of the situation. But wow. So much to take in, and so many directions to go in. How are you doing post appointment?

Sila, so glad the talk with your mum helped.

[SilaMarila]

Wow Milk. That is a lot of information. Glad this Dr is taking things so seriously and that he is getting you in with the other Dr in your area! I honestly had the same reaction when I learned that DH and I may need IVF. Though we are also "young" and have time, but nothing short of a miracle is going to happen during that time if DH's swimmers barely swim and don't penetrate. I think your Dr made an honest suggestion and it does make sense. I asked the same question, how do people even have any money left to do IVF by the time they get there??? My RE does have a payment plan type of assistance program and I done a little surface research on grants but I'm pretty sure we don't qualify. I guess I should just be patient and wait for DH's results. Go ahead and cry. I sure did. You've never had AMH drawn? Sounds like another good idea along with the other tests for your DP. I hope your head has stopped spinning at least a little...good luck with waiting for the results.

Hi Wissa! Hope you and your little one are well!

Hi Zub! I miss you.

Hope everyone is having a nice weekend! DH and I are having a date night tomorrow. I'm excited!

[deborahbgkelly]

Sourire- Will you please take my name off the front that says "moved to graduates". You can put me in the soon to be TTC #1 section. We obviously aren't actively trying at this point, but hope to be again in the next few months (or at least NTNP).

[oceane]

I am usually a lurker on this thread as due to an illness DH is on medication right now that doesn't allow us to continue trying. Thus I have nothing really to contribute right now but we had been TTC #1 for 2.5 years before the illness so I definitely belong here. I just wanted to quickly tell deborah that I am really sorry for your losses.

Ok, back to lurking for now!

[gozal]

Oh, guys. Please believe me when I say that I have read each and every single post and have been with you every step of the way. I've started writing so many replies that I haven't had a chance to finish before the thread moves along! My m/s is pretty bad (NOT complaining, I feel reassured by it) and unfortunately DS has been sick too. And last week, my beloved grandfather passed away.

I want to say a big hello to all our newcomers! I basically consider anyone who joins to be automatically awesome and a kindred spirit. Welcome Mexilady, lilacvioletiris, Milk8shake, CharleyinVT. Milk8shake, I remember your kindness and spirit from my time in the grief & loss forum, when I was going through my drawn-out ectopic situation. Your story is incredible and while it totally and completely sucks that you're here, i.e. in IF land, I am really glad you're here, i.e. with all of these amazing ladies. CharleyinVT, I have an idea for 2012! DH has some southern roots and when we decided to do our last-minute IUI (the cycle we made our twins), his motto was "Okay, Let's Get 'Er Done." So I hereby nominate 2012 as the Year of Get 'Er Done. :)

KrunchyK, Deborah - thinking of the two of you a lot. Krunchy, your blog is...just such good writing, lady. Heartbreaking writing. Of course I am following along. Deborah, your strength and compassion are beyond amazing. I am so glad you got to hold your sons, to be with them and to give them names. Beautiful names. 

First, just generally, I wanted to mention how DH and I approached the possibility of financing IVF. I hope it's not annoying - basically until I am holding all the healthy babies that make our family complete in my arms, I consider it an active possibility for us that we will need IVF. So, we live on a very tight budget in a very expensive part of the US. We are kind of stuck here for a few reasons, the primary one being that DH's job is geographically based right now. We are debt-free except for our (good) mortgage and a small student loan, though we blew all our cash savings on insurance co-pays, deductibles, and drugs/procedures not covered by our policy. Currently we cannot afford cable and have the most basic cellphones available, mostly for safety/security reasons. One round of IVF at my RE's would probably run us half our yearly income OOP. But we were prepared to do it, through a combination of financing plans and a home equity loan. Our home equity is our only asset so this is a scary prospect. And I know not everyone has that resource. The way we thought about financially was, we are not planning to finance a private college education for our children, so we do not have to save that money. At first DH was reluctant to concede that, but since I'm actually in academia, I won that argument. ;) Our children can go to college virtually for free in our other country of citizenship, or they can go to a public university in the US. That will require some savings, of course, but not nearly as much. In my opinion, college will look nothing like what it does today anyway. I believe the tuition bubble here in the States will burst and there will be stiff competition from things like MITx etc. But anyway, IVF costs less than one semester at a private university at this point, so that put it in perspective for us. 

Secondly, I just have to tell you how inspired I am by the discussion going on here about weight issues. If everyone had the courage and honesty displayed here, well, a lot of women and girls around the world would be spared a lot of suffering. I am fortunate that I have never really struggled with my weight or eating, and yet it is a subject I have a lot of difficulty with. Sometimes I look at DS's absolutely perfect little body and wish I could have the same regard for my own. I wish I did not dread seeing how pictures of myself turn out. I wish I had more photos of myself with my family! I am usually the one behind the camera. I'm really glad you guys have already called BS on BMI. I am a totally normal weight for my height and I just happened to glance at my BMI on my transfer paperwork from the RE to the OB. Of course that BMI number was higher than I liked and now I am upset about it, even though I know it's total BS. shesaidboom, I am just appalled to hear that a doctor treating a woman with an endocrine/metabolic disorder would go by such an insane measurement and not offer any help. I have an encdocrine tumor, so as long as I have elevated prolactin levels and am NOT nursing, I will put on weight! Hello!

Oh yeah. Acronyms. If I actually think about what DH and BD and half of them actually stand for...ewwwww. Therefore DH in my mind stands for Dee Aitch, a synonym for husband. Period.

I'm going to start in on personals and promise to be back to finish them. I'm afraid of not posting again otherwise!

toothfairy2be, I could not possibly love your new username more. Your lap - WHOA! You must feel so vindicated and relieved that your instincts were correct and that you are well on your way to a solution to the underlying issue. I am also shocked that your RE missed an endometrial cyst on your ovary. It makes me question the wisdom of conventional fertility medicine alone. Incidentally, I was seriously considering working with an OB who happens to be a NaPro practitioner and one of the few certified NaPro surgeons. His name was recommended as a natural-birth friendly OB in this area, not easy to find. I only realized he was certified NaPro when I went to his practice website. Which only made me want to work with him more, knowing your experiences. In the end I decided against it mostly because his office is not easy for me to get to, it's in a nearby city where parking can be tricky. But I will keep him in mind if I end up dissatisfied with my local practice. anyway, I am so flippin' excited for you. Even though the recovery sounds none too pleasant and I hate that you have to go back to work relatively soon. We have often been in that position, no work = no pay, and it is really frustrating.

Sila, well, a clear HSG is a good thing too, right? My uterus is retroverted/tilted but I was always told it's a normal anatomical variation. Maybe mine is not that curved, because yowch, your catheterizing experience sounds none too fun. I don't think it's bad if you jump-start another cycle before you ovulate on your own, I would go for it! I'm thinking of induced anovulation with BCPs and how so many women have no problem after that (grrrr, frustrating I know). Most importantly, have fun, um, BDing with DH! I am glad you had a good talk with your mom too. It can be so important just to have someone close to you know.

Teresa, you are allowed to feel all of that. Not just allowed, you need to. I was so hopeful for your last cycle, too. IME some cycles are just harder than others. Sending you love. 

hope4light, you are so close and I am soooo excited!

smiles, I am always impressed by zen moments. I hope those hot flashes leave you alone soon.

Sourire, okay this goes way back but I am still offended for you that French people insisted on speaking to a native speaker of Canadian French in English. ;) I can usually chat up people in French even though I speak it poorly (I read/translate fluently)  because I don't use my American accent when I speak it, I use my other one (which many people mysteriously mistake for French even though it's not even a Romance language). And I am sure you speak French 10,000x better than I do. Okay, got that rant out of the way. Onto your lap! I hope it will be illuminating and will move you far forward. It must be frustrating not to be able to get on the IVF waitlist nevertheless. I think your injectibles plan sounds great for after the lap.

Okay, more soon, promise! zubeldia!

[Sourire]

Charley - wow there sure are a lot of us having laps! I'm glad you and toothfairy and Milk are around to tell me about your experiences! I LOVE your slogans! Too bad almost nothing rhymes with twelve. Delve? Elves? Shelve? Yeah I got no suggestions haha.

Milk - Yeah I'm sure I won't need 2 weeks to recover from my lap but I'm the last person who would ever say no to a paid vacation! Wow that is a crazy story about the horn in your uterus. Thank god you found a good doctor the second time. Why are there so many idiot doctors out there????

Yikes to the whole IVF with PGD thing from your doctor. I know what you mean about not being prepared for something at the doctors appointment. I can never think of the right questions when I'm caught off guard like that. I think the doctor may have been doing a bit of fearmongering with the whole "you don't have much time left" thing. From the stats I've seen, the odds are still excellent in the early 30s (I've been googling this because I'm freaked out about my 30th bday being tomorrow). And it's not like you're sitting around doing nothing right now, you're taking proactive steps to find a solution to your problem, so nobody could ever accuse you of wasting valuable time.

Sila - The trip to San Diego was for this committee I volunteer on with my professional organisation. Once I had gone to the meeting I would have been reimbursed for the plane ticket but since I'm not going, that's $700 down the drain. Oh well, considering I'm getting free surgery and 2 weeks paid "vacation" afterwards, $700 seems like a small price to pay. I'm glad that telling your mom about IF went well. I'm very public about IF with everyone, and in general I'm happy with that decision, but there's always the odd jerk out there who makes me regret talking about it (DH's uncle comes to mind!).

Glad to hear your HSG went well. I think the benefits to your mental health of getting AF here faster outweigh any risks (not that I have ever heard of any risks).

teresa - sorry about your BFN honey. Good for you for having a good cry about it. Your friend sounds like the nicest person ever. And I always enjoy getting tipsy after a BFN (or any other time... that night with DH's uncle I was pretty darn tipsy, and that was 2 days after my IUI). I hope you feel better soon and that you can try something new this next cycle.

kparker - I hope I didn't make you feel pressured about moving to graduates. I just get so excited about moving people to graduates and was hoping to do it one last time before my month as threadkeeper was up!

lilac - ah we all have those confusing charts once in a while. It does look like you O'ed but a few more temps should make that more obvious! Have you tried using the FAM ovulation detector? I've been using pill boxes for all my vitamins, they're great.

Smiles - delays are such a pain in the butt! Hopefully DH's SA goes well on Wednesday.

hope - The Dr. said that I still have a really great chance of getting pregnant without IVF since I'm ovulating well, my tubes are clear, DH's sperm is great and I'm still quite young so he doesn't think that I meet the requirements yet. However he does want to see me again after the lap so if I have really horrible endo I might get him to change his mind. He wants us to do 3 IUI's with injectables then we can move on to IVF. Personally I am going to do 2 and then try to convince him that I'm ready for IVF, the whole multiple pregnancy thing with the injectables just makes me too uncomfortable. I have 2 friends with twins who had very scary experiences during pregnancy and are EXTREMELY lucky their babies are still alive today, and of course there is Deborah's experience as well. With IUI they are only allowed to transfer 1 embryo so I have much less chance of twins with that. I'm hoping your AF starts soon if it hasn't already!

toothfairy - Thanks for filling us in on the surgery. So cool that you got a video! I have no idea if I'll get one, but I doubt it. Are you feeling better yet? Did they say what stage your endo was? I've also read the thing about tall thin people being more likely to have endo. I'm not tall (5'4") but I'm definitely thin.

krunchy - Hooray for O! One more step in moving forward with things. My normal O date is CD 17-19, but with all the meds I'm taking I've been Oing around CD 12-14. I've never thought of it from the number of extra cycles perspective, but 3 extra cycles per year is pretty darn awesome now that you point it out! I read some of your blog. Have you decided whether you're going with Clomid or Femara?

mexilady - I'm glad to hear your HSG went well!!!

deborah - I've taken you off graduates :( Take as much time as you need, the rest of us will be here waiting for you whenever you're ready to join again.

gozal - Nice to hear from you! Thanks for stopping by, you are so sweet.

Re acronyms - Since DH and BD are so unpopular with us, maybe we should select our own acronyms that we could use in this thread. I'm not really the creative type but perhaps someone else could suggest something fun!

AFM - Thanks for everyone who offered to punch my DH's uncle and so on haha... it really made me feel so much better! You guys always know what to say to cheer me up and I'm so lucky to be part of this group!

My 30th birthday is tomorrow. Depressing. I wish I could insert 1 more year between now and my 30th birthday, I'm sure I could get pregnant in that 1 year. My uncle (who is a priest) called me today to wish me happy birthday and gave me all kinds of "helpful" advice such as "relax and you'll get pregnant" and "you're probably thinking about it to much" and "I bet you'll get pregnant on your vacation next week". What is it with uncles these days???????

Crinone is kicking my butt this month. On Friday at work I became completely non-functional after lunch. My brain just stopped working entirely and I spent about 2 hours staring off into space. Anyone who knows me knows how abnormal this is for me because I cannot STAND sitting around doing nothing, I always have to be reading a book or checking this forum or something. I know if I did more yoga it would help with this side effect but I'm just not motivated this month!

Edited by Sourire - 4/2/12 at 6:53am

[lollie2357]

Sorry, I'm crashing too. 
 

Originally Posted by Milk8shake 

 But, based on my history, and the other crap in my life, he really does suspect immune issues.  

This sounds like good news. I hope it proves true. 

Originally Posted by Milk8shake 

But, Dr S told me that we need to seriously be considering IVF with PGD as soon as possible - that we MAY NOT have plenty of time.  

He we don't have to go as far as full transfer cycles, but that we should get some babies in the freezer.  He said that we have already been at this for three years, and we need to be looking five years in the future.  Apparently egg quality can begin to deteriorate at my age, and if we were to continue to have problems, for <heaven forbid> another three years, then I am early thirties, and things are beginning to cascade downhill.  He also said that doing this would be helpful if we decide to turn to surrogacy as an option later in the piece.  

Does this mean you'd be saving them just in case, but you don't need to start using them now?  I can see how that would make your head spin, especially if you don't think its an option financially.  But maybe it won't end up being necessary?

It will be a little over two weeks before I will get my results, because Dr S will be on holidays, so I'm still in a holding pattern.  I guess we will wait on the results, make an appt with the "aggressive" doc here in Brissie, see about getting DP's tests done, and go from there.  I will just be in the corner, freaking out about the whole thing.  We can't afford IVF.  We just can't.  Honestly, I don't know how people do.  I just want to cry.

I'm so glad he's connected you to a better doctor. I totally get the corner freak out thing.  Seems like a good time for skittles and vodka?  Sending you hugs and vibes and such.  We (your friends from various threads) are here for you.

[hope4light]

OK, I'm going to start off by saying that I can't seem to start a new thread at work.  So I'm going to catch up on personals, and then tonight after I get home I'll start the new thread for April (I've tried like 3 times now and it just keeps trying, and never goes anywhere!!!)

Milk - I love the full pic!!  Oh yes, news of #2 for someone that you just KNOW will get pregnant right away.  But you have the angel and the devil on the shoulders, on the one hand you almost hope it doesn' t happen for them right away, but on the other hand you don't wish that at all.  Wow on the uterine horn, and everything you've gone through since being diagnosed.  This is really crazy, and like nothing I've heard of before!!  It's insane to think what all you've been through since being a teenager.

tf2b - Glad everything went well!  How are you feeling now, a couple of days out?

Charley - I don't blame you for not wanting to tell many people.  This time around my mom knows (she's helping watch our daughter when we have appointments), my best friend knows, and my boss knows.  That's it.  Although the entire world knows that we deal with Infertility, so it's just that we are in the midst of treatments right now that they don't know.  Part of that helps keep everyone from asking the whole 'when are you going to have another' question.  I can't believe how your dad reacts to all this!!  Why does he think you're too old, I mean really!!  I had my first at 30 and will be 32 in less than 2 weeks (um, when did that happen??) and I recognize that I could be 33 before I have number 2!!  (or older, but God willing.....)

That does make me laugh a little, not at your situation, but how things change.  I planned on being done having kids by the time I was 30.  We started trying about a month before my 26th birthday.  My mom was 32 when she had me, and I always wanted to be younger than that LOL.  If you want to hear God laugh tell him your plans, right??

I hadn't really thought about the child bearing part either, my Gyn just happened to mention some things, so I was lucky there.

I love the sound of the crazy pillow!  I'm so uncreative, so I got nuthin' in terms of a slogan.  I'm cracking up at the slogans though, you can tell how they started out like it was going to happen right away, and you can see how it changed as the years went by.  It's kinda like a road map for emotions and infertility.

krunchy - yeah for ovulation!! and earlier at that! 

mexi -  glad the HSG went well, and hoping that you get to enjoy the effects of increased fertility!!  How was your weekend away?

Sila - Glad your HSG went well too, and hoping that you also get to enjoy the effects of increased fertility!!  I'm glad you're giving it a little bit to see if you'll ovulate on your own.  I hope it happens.  I know what you mean about not wanting to push DH too much for a night away, but (especially after this weekend for me) I can tell you it is SO worth it.  Push a little if you have to!  Yep, AF came on our weekend away.  B****.  Figures, I think I heard her laughing at me maniac like when she woke me up at 5:30 in the morning Saturday with a big 'Hi There - I'm HEEEERRRRREEEE!!!'

 Milk - That sounds like your appt went AWESOME (considering LOL)!  I'm also glad he gave you the doc's name that will be aggressive enough to treat you, especially if he's in the background helping out.  It really sucks that they can't say if the losses are due to your uterus or not.  If they happen to be, what can be done for it?  Will you just keep having losses? 

The can of worms deserves it's own paragraph.  This was such a bomb for you I'm sure.  I can't even imagine.  I know what it was like when we were told we needed IVF back in 2007.  It scared the living daylights out of me, and we just sat there and stared at the doctor.  We should have even had time to prepare as we knew we were struggling with pretty severe MFI.  Maybe part of it was it was an andrologist (male infertility urologist) and she really said that we COULD do IVF with ICSI but recommended we just move onto adoption.  I am surprised by the age thing though.  This RE that we are seeing said that while 35 has always been 'the age' he said that while quality does start to go down around 35, it's a slow falling slope, and takes a while to really affect things.  He said that the research is showing 37 is really now 'the age'.  I haven't done any research on that as I've been lucky in that I don't have bad egg quality, and am (almost) 32, so I let it go, but interesting....  I'm so sorry that it was such a shock, and such a surprise.  I don't blame you for viewing IVF as something that is for someone that can't fall pregnant.  To be honest, I'm one of those, and always thought of it more for those situations as well.  I'm glad he's checking your AMH levels and getting your DH an SA.  Hang in there.  Big big hugs to you! 

Sila - How was your date night??

deborah - Glad to see you.  I hope that you are taking care of yourself and trying to relax some.

oceane - Hello!  Feel free to say HI whenever you want!! 

gozal- I'm sorry about your grandfather, and DS being sick.

Sourire - The costs of dealing with IF.  $700 is a lot, but could definately be worse.  I'm with you on the number of IUI's - after 2 I'd push to try to convince him as well.  Happy Birthday, I hope you allowed yourself some downtime.

I agree - let's come up with our own acronyms!  But yeah, I've got no ideas.  On my blog I always just call him K (first initial).

AFM - Well, we had a great weekend away, aside from AF showing up.  I managed to reign in my emotions, and we had a lot of fun.  We had some drinks Friday and Saturday night (which I usually steer clear from), I had some yummmmy coffee (which I've been TRYING my hardest to cut out) and some yummmmmy sweet tea (which made me ill - I haven't had that much caffiene and sugar in one shot in a long time LOL).  We got our taxes done and are doing pretty good, so that's exciting.  AF came at 5:30 in the morning Saturday morning, so we didn't get as much adult time as we would have liked.  Especially as she was heavier than normal, I actually bled through EVERYTHING on Saturday.  Typically hubs and I don't mind 'that time of the month love making' but for both of us that really made us uninterested.  I felt really icky.  But I did have to laugh as I gave myself a Lupron shot both nights while sitting at a bar.  Oh the things we'll do LOL.  Tomorrow is baseline ultrasound day, and I couldn't be more excited!!!

[lilacvioletiris]

Sila, DH and I are going with the flow as much as we can, keeping track of my fertility signals and when we BD. I am hoping there are some swimmers swimming even if none were seen in the first SA.

Sourire, what is the FAM ovulation detector?  Never heard of it.

AFM, temp still at 97.18 and holding steady except for a slight jump Sunday which I attribute to sleeping a bit later.
 

[monkeyscience]

Wow, you ladies have been busy! Not a lot of time this morning but I did want to say...

milk - I am so, so glad you got a doc who is taking you seriously for once. I hope you get some more info from the tests and biopsy. And I totally get being floored by the IVF suggestion. I wouldn't think that someone who could get pregnant 5 times in three years would need to go that route, either. I'm still hopeful they can find a way to just support a naturally-occurring pregnancy for you. I have heard in the past that there are two big drops in your fertility - one about 27 or 28, and one around 35. But I haven't seen a lot of mention of the earlier fertility drop recently. Don't know if it's been disproven, or if your after-27 fertility is now just accept as "normal" fertility because so many people have kids later. Anyway, I'm also with you on IVF costs. I have no idea how we could ever have come up with that much money, and I just don't know if we would ever be willing to take out a loan for that. I'm guessing you don't get any kind of state coverage for IVF? I really don't know a lot about the medical system in Oz. to you, and let us know what you find out!

Cait - Is it wrong to say I'm glad they found endo? I mean, I'm not glad you have it, but I'm excited to see your suspicions vindicated, and that you officially have a diagnosis to work with, and that you were able to get things "cleaned up" in there! I am excited for your chances in the future! Also, what is a "chocolate cyst"? And should a cyst of any kind have been visible on the zillion monitoring ultrasounds you had??

Sourire - about your uncle-in-law. I am sad to hear that he practices medicine. What kind of medicine? Does he also tell people with terminal illnesses that they should be able to handle it just fine, and that anyone in a support group is an unstable nutjob?? If he thinks most women handle IF with equanimity, it's probably because his daughter knows he has the emotional warmth of a rock and so doesn't share any of her feelings with him. Geez.

More another time!

[Sourire]

April thread is up!!!!

Please join us there:

http://www.mothering.com/community/t/1349645/infertility-one-thread-april-2012

[deborahbgkelly]

Thanks for changing mine Sourire. Here is a blurb for you (it may change): Began TTC 2/2011; BFP after IVF in 11/2011. Identical twin boys passed in 3/2012- delivered stillborn 3/24/2012. Waiting for physical and emotional recovery to begin the process again. Fertility challenges: Endometriosis, Diminished Ovarian Reserves (likely due to Endo) and Hashimoto's Thyroiditis (anti-thyroid antibodies).