~~Infertility ONE Thread March 2012~~ - Page 5

[shesaidboom]

hope4light - I read online reviews from previous patients. They didn't like the drs, the wait for monitoring was long, the costs were high (of course), and some of the docs didn't seem to know what they were doing. Honestly, it sounds a lot like my clinic, except mine gets better reviews. I totally agree with you that it is a case by case basis though. I think we've decided that if we're not pregnant this cycle, we'll stick it out for one more and if we're still unhappy we'll switch.

smilesarefree - did you continue with the baby aspirin throughout your pregnancy or just until you got your BFP? I'm thinking I might try this out next cycle if we're not pregnant.

Sourire - The last time I was hungry like that, I was pregnant. Just sayin'. I get hungry from the progesterone, but not nearly that bad.
Keep us updated please! I can't wait to hear your results. I am seriously bouncing around in my seat for you. Come on BFP! I can sympathize with how scary it is right now. Sending good thoughts and crossing everything for you

Gemmine - I think my RE tested for blood clotting issues, but I'm going to double check with her. I'm thinking of trying the baby asprin next cycel, but I'm going to have to read some more about it.

chica - I'm glad you're feeling better, but I'm so sorry about the temp drop and spotting. I'm glad there is an upside, even if it's still so hard.
That is a really cool thing to happen at your wedding! It's like fate. I'd prefer a sunny day for mine, but if it rains we at least have a back-up plan! We'll still do outside pictures though, just with umbrellas.

kparker - that is definitely a BFP! Congratulations!! Also, never feel silly about joining in and then getting your BFP right away. It brings me hope to see other people who struggled with infertility getting their BFPs, even if they've only been stalking the thread. We need some more good news for this month, so hearing your story helps a lot!

marmo - thanks for the nice comments about the wedding. Yes, it's a bouquet I'm making. They've been popping up around wedding blogs recently and I am in love with enamel flower brooches so I just had to have one.
I'm glad things are getting easier every day. After having several miscarriages, I can relate to the terror in the beginning. I can't wait to hear about your U/S! I'm so excited for you.

cbaa - Unfortunately, they won't switch me to another doc in the clinic. There is one there that both dp and I REALLY like, but everyone wants to switch to him so he doesn't have room. Our current RE would still be doing our procedures sometimes so it would be a little awkward too. Still, we may see if we can be put on a waiting list or something to be switched over to him, that may be a good idea.
That sounds like a busy day!! I'm glad you O'd! Welcome to the 2ww! That's awful that the nurse treated you that way. I really hate how these clinic docs/nurses act sometimes. We are not numbers! Your QC trip sounds wonderful! Quebec City is so beautiful, and according to one of my favourite TV shows has the same crime rate as Disney World, so it's probably one of the safest places you can go.

gozal - I know, right?? Stupid March! Thinking of you.

silamarila - I completely understand why you are holding off, and those do look like promising signs. Have you mentioned them to your RE? Although, I would be ready for the new RE too.

renvaoo!!! It's good to hear from you. I'm going to have to go over to the grads thread to stalk you.

AFM, two nights ago I had a really vivid dream about getting a BFP. It was on one of those FRER tests with the pink lines. Those tests just drive me crazy with all the BFNs so it was kind of a big FU to them! Last night night I had a dream that we went in for our first U/S and our baby waved at us. Now I know realistically the baby would not have arms during the first U/S, but you know, dreams and all. I'm really hoping that these dreams mean something. They've actually given me more hope for this cycle, although I'm not sure how I feel about that. It's good to have hope, but I don't know if I can handle another BFN.

[SilaMarila]

Sourire - You think I should give it until tomorrow to start my Provera? I can't decide. I haven't noticed hardly any cm today. Part of me is like well if I didn't respond why would this cycle be any different from one without meds? And am I only pushing AF farther and farther back by not starting the Provera? ugh... So I understand your "why would it be different" feelings. I'm anti testing so I don't know what else to tell you other than if you don't test you'll never see a bfn...it is all just so hard...

Kparker - I'm with Sourire. We like details lol!

Hope - You're right, it's what allows us to continue on. Glad the hsg went well! I still need to ask about getting one...

Hi Stevi! 

Gozal - And March used to always be my favorite too...

AFM - I can't decide what to do!!! I don't know why I have these fertile signs if I'm potentially still so far away from O? Or maybe I'm not? It's like I can't trust my body. 

DH's been going to acupuncture weekly to help out his swimmers. Tuesday when I went to acupuncture she asked if I noticed a difference in him sexually (energy, drive, ect) because he told her he felt better. I hadn't really then, but I'm changing my answer to a definite yes. Not having cycle monitoring right now is nice too.

[Stevi]

KParker...   I missed your announcement! Congrats to you too!!!!

There are so many familiar names on this thread! I wish I could join all of you in moving up to fertility treatments, procedures, doctors, etcetera, but I'm afraid I don't have the insurance or finances.

Think Fertlie Thoughts!

[toothfairy2be]

Gozal- Thanks for the threats to the month of March, we would all appreciate if now she listens!

Sourire- I hope someday you will come to Boston! There is a lot to see in the city. I wouldn't even know where to start as a tourist! Its funny, I went to school in Boston and lived there for 3 years. I think DH and I are going to do a walking tour on Saturday, do you have any restaurant recommendations? Also could you update my username. I needed a change! What was the news today, I was hoping for a 'spotting' update from you said said NO SPOTTING TODAY!! It is true that OPKs become positive after a HPT would be positive... I am excited for you!!

SilaMarila- I think that sounds good taht you had fertile signs... are you still temping at all to see if you have a temp shift? I would give it another day or 2... If you hasd12 or 13mm at your last monitoring, they could easily be mature now. I would wait a day or 2 to see if ovulation occured. I'm glad you and DH found your groove, sounds like acupuncture is good for everything! I look forward to us both starting over with new docs (but now I am hopeful we won't need to).

shesaidboom- It sounds like it is time to put your name on the waiting list. It just seems like maybe the 'good' reviews are not for the doctor you are seeing. Although, I hope we both never have to find that out because we have a matching set of BFPs to move over to the grad thread with. It is weird, I had a BFP dream too! No ultrasound dreams yet... but definitely the BFP dream for the first time... I couldn't figure out of 2 lines meant pregnant and I was in denial.

hope- yay for a good HSG!!! I did not get everything done, but enough! Today was work day so all I accomplished was work and making dinner.

Thanks sila & gemmine for making me feel better about the IUI timing, I hope you are right!

Hi Renavoo!!! I am sorry work has been so crazy! I couldn't do that normally, hope you are getting right to bed when you get home and taking care of yourself and the twinkles!

Hi Stevi!!! Good to see your 'face'!

AFM- I changed my username! I toyed the the idea a few months ago but couldn't think of anything but last night it hit me and so here I am, you can call me cait if the new name is too much of a change, I'm happy with cait too  Today was uneventful, likely 2dpo, 3dpiui, so who knows. I am thinking starting saturday I will test out the trigger, I've never done that before. Thinking of you all! Who is our next tester? Sourire? Then what? I know me and shesaidboom are together next weekend... what's everyone else up to?

[Sourire]

Sila - from what I've heard the most fertile day is often the one right before O. But anyways you know your body best, if you don't think you are ovulating then start it sooner.

AFM - my spotting showed up today right on schedule. So I won't be testing tomorrow morning. I am so disappointed. I guess I'll go cry myself to sleep now.

[toothfairy2be]

Ohh Sourire I am so sad to hear that... I hope for this time your body is wrong wrong wrong.

[SilaMarila]

Stevi - I completely admire your ability to keep on going even without being able to seek further treatment. 

Shesaidboom - I hope your dreams come true (how cheesy does that sound lol?) No, I haven't talked to my RE since Monday. I hope you can get to the doc you want! I agree (and cbaa), I've only done one cycle and I hate just being ushered around the place and feeling like I'm only part of protocol and procedure. It's all so impersonal.

Woah Cait-used-to-be-cbaa-now-a-new-sn - I'll have to get used to it lol! Thank god you kept your profile pic or I would have been completely confused. Jk I adjust quickly. Is your full name Caitlyn? I love both (and also spelled with a k) but DH says it's too common. I have been thinking I need a change too. Not sure what yet though. Yeah I'm still temping. No shift yet. I hope we won't need new docs either!

Sourire - You have got to be kidding! Seriously?!?! Please go away and miraculously be implantation bleeding. I'm holding on to every last bit of hope for you. I hope the crying hang over isn't too bad when you wake up in the morning. And for validation I would totally do the same thing.

AFM - I didn't take my Provera. Only because my cm so drastically changed. It's been a week since my follicles were 11 and 13mm (however they were the same on Monday too). If my temp is low in the morning I think I will just assume that the Clomid changed absolutely nothing and I'll take the Provera tomorrow to ensure a new cycle will be on it's way by the time of my consultation with the new doc. 

[Smilesarefree]

Sourire – Sorry about the spotting, I was really hoping that your uterus would listen to me.  Like Sila I really hope it goes away and was imp bleed but I know that you know your body.  I am holding out hope for you.  I hope you feel better after the crying.

Shesaidboom – When I got pregnant with dd I stopped the baby aspirin around 6/7 weeks.  In my mind it was to help with implantation and I figured by that point I was safe to stop.  I did not talk to my doctor about it which in hind sight probably wasn’t that smart but everything worked out great in the end.  I hope that your dreams are a sign of good things to come.

Cait – I’ve also been thinking about changing my name but can’t figure out what I want it to be.  Stay tuned!!!  I also read about how baby aspirin can stop ovulation, I think what I read said it was possible after long term use, I can’t quite remember.   I read it after I had dd and it was one of the reasons that I didn’t start taking it again right away once we ttc again also dd took 10 months of effort and cause I had her I thought that I would get pregnant in the blink of an eye the second time around sheesh.  I also went 3 months last winter with no af and thought that maybe the aspirin was to blame so I stopped taking it.  Once af came back I started taking it again, I can’t not take it and feel good about it.  DH and I went to Quebec City a few years ago and we loved it!!!!!  It is a beautiful city.  We’ve also gone to Boston a few times, ball games and hockey games – dh is a diehard Blue Jays and Leafs fan and Boston is a lot closer to us than Toronto.

Sila – I totally get how unsure you are of when to take the provera, I’d give it a few days if it were me and I was still getting signs of impending o.  But it would be hard to decide when enough is enough, af means new cycle sooner.  Sounds like I need to send dh for some acupuncture!!

AFM – I am in the boring part of the cycle, cd6.  Sometimes I o as early as cd 8 but no sign of that happening which I should be happy about.

[hope4light]

Sourire - I'm so sorry about the spotting!!  I too am hoping it's implantation bleeding.... keeping my fingers crossed.  How are you doing? 
 

shesaidboom - Ah, yeah.  That sucks.  Are there any others that might be worth looking at that are a little further away, but maybe you can do monitoring etc closer in?  Man it sucks to do it with someone that you don't love.  Maybe at your current clinic you can let them know that you are considering switching clinics so that you can have a 'second opinion' type situation, but you would be willing to work with dr so and so at their clinic instead.  Gotta think they'd consider it if it meant keeping your dollars with them.  The dreams sound awesome!  Maybe they're a sign!!

cbaa/toothfairy2be - It took me a minute to figure out who you were LOL.  I LOVED Boston when DH and I went a few years ago.  We want to go again! 

sila - can't say that I blame you for waiting.  Let us know what happens today.  When is the consult with the new doc again?

[Sourire]

Well my temp was down this morning and the OPK was still negative. That's 3 strikes so I'm pretty sure I'm out. DH convinced me to call in sick to work today because I was crying so much during breakfast that my toast was getting all soggy. I recognized that I probably wouldn't be any use today at work and I didn't have any meetings or anything so now I have the day off.

Sorry I'm not really up for doing personals right now.

[Smilesarefree]

Sourire -

[renavoo]

oh ladies, I wish I was signing on to better news...

Sourire,  I just wanted to send big hugs to you.

Shesaidboom, I definitely think you should get on the waiting list. Maybe even asking to be put on it would make your current doctor think about what he is doing wrong and try to right it. It's not personal and you're spending a lot of time and money on this so you should feel completely comfortable! And I love your dream!

Cait, Toothfairy2be? love it!! Can't wait for your testing day! Come on, you and Shesaidboom have to start the bfp line! By the way, one of the names we were thinking about for our little girl was Caitlyn! :oD

Ok I have a doctor's appointment today that i have to get ready for. Big hugs to everyone!

[SilaMarila]

Smiles - Signs of O are gone :( I recommend acupuncture to everyone lol! Good luck getting through those "boring" days. Sorry, I get confused about who is doing what - are you being monitored this cycle? 

Hope - Accidentally took my temp a little late but it was still below my post O temps. Consult with the new doc is the 19th! Less than 2 weeks away. He comes highly recommended (by one of my other doctors that went through IF!) and I have had this appointment for a really long time. My RE now is literally 5 min from home (which my night shift, day sleeping DH loves bc he can wake up 5 min before my appt to watch DS for me) and this one is going to be about 25min away so I'll have to get used to that. I'm not complaining because I know some ladies drive and hour or more. I hope it works out. 

Sourire - Oh I am so sorry This really makes me so sad. Your DH sounds so supportive and sensitive to your needs to suggest you just stay home. Take the day to "recover" a little bit if you can. For me that looks like chocolate and lounging on the couch for a least 3 hours straight of Grey's Anatomy.

AFM -I'm calling it quits. I'll take my Provera tonight. I'm just trying not to lose faith in my body. Like if I do it will hear me and won't even try to work right? Ugh, it just sucks that I still can't trust my signs. U/s is the only way to know what is going on in there. I've done a little googling trying to figure out what is "wrong" with me but nothing matches up. I'm hoping for more answers from the new doctor. Though I guess I have to accept that I may never know.

[krunchyk]

Hi ladies, My pregnancy was deemed nonviable this past Monday and I had a D&C on Tuesday.  I'll be checking in every once and a while, but I'm not sure how active I will be for a bit.  I'm not sure who is managing the forum, but if you could remove me from the graduates list, that would be great.  Thanks.

Have a good weekend. K.

[teresaresa]

krunchyk: Oh, sweetheart. I am so very sorry. I know there’s nothing to say to make you feel any better right now. My heart is aching for you.

shesaidboom: I’m so sorry your only other clinic options are so far away. It’s just one more thing that makes this whole process so difficult. I’m glad you were able to cry it out. Why can’t IF meds make us super sunshine happy instead of sad/mad and ready to fall to pieces? I know we get a baby (hopefully) at the end of this struggle, but it would be nice to have something cheery about the process. Oh well. Also, if you’re ever in the 2ww and you happen to be near NYC, please come to my house!! I could use your cleaning skills J I LOVE your dream. It makes me feel really good and mushy for you for this cycle!

kparker: Super! I can’t wait for Monday. I really hope you’re pregnant – sometimes joining a group and sharing the experience with others can be cathartic. And, sometimes, catharsis is all you need J

hope4light: Itzhak, the shaman, said that the ugh feeling was due to the release of negative energy. He said it should last 3-4 days. It seems like it has lasted a bit longer, but that also could be because this was an unusually stressful week at work. I’m glad your HSG went well!!

Smilesarefree: I’m really going to have to check out the baby aspirin. I did ask my RE about it, but he said it wasn’t necessary at this time. I might revisit it with him if I don’t get pregnant this month. It sounds like a lot of women have had success after taking it. I’m excited you’re feeling like you’re going to have a baby boy. I think that’s positive on a lot of levels particularly in that you’re sensing a baby and also that the baby’s presence is strong enough that his gender is coming through. I’m getting excited for you!!

Sourire: OMG! I didn’t even think of the beaker as representative of science, but duh! That makes total sense!! I wonder what the hunger thing was about… BFP, perhaps????? Eek, I’m peeing my pants with anticipation. Ok, I’m sorry, but for some reason the image of someone choking on a hard-boiled egg is making me laugh.

NO, NO, NO. I just read your spotting post. Crap. I’m so, so sorry. You’re DH sounds super sweet. I’m glad he knows what to say and what you need. I hope you were able to do something nice for yourself today. You never know. You could still get the BFP, right?

Gemmine: Um, I don’t know really. It’s funny because I feel like yoga and acupuncture are totally socially acceptable, but things like reiki and shamanic healing are a little fringe. But to me, they’re all part of the same family. They all deal in energy flow. My DH’s therapist recommended Itzhak (the shaman) to me, and it felt like I was being offered another guide for my journey – sort of like a door opening. That’s how I feel about my RE too. He came to me through a recommendation as well.

chicajones: Sigh. I’m so sorry. I’m glad you got to have some cake and ice cream, but I know you’d much rather have that BFP. You might still be able to tell mom and dad the news in person – April is still a bit down the road! I’m glad you were able to find a bright spot in the disappointment, but it’s still pretty sucky. Hope you’re feeling better today.

marmo/toothfairy: I actually found Itzhak through my DH’s therapist. She’s very crunchy and does all sorts of workshops at this meditative retreat center – that’s how she knows Itzhak. She went to see Itzhak recently and he told her that she needed to start wearing suits to work. So she did. Next thing she knew, she started getting called for all these conferences and workshops – her business life just exploded. So, I thought that seeing him could only help!

toothfairy: I love the name change J! With no meat, I have a tendency to turn toward pasta and cheese. I’m just trying to learn how to eat these things in moderation as I don’t find them as satisfying as a nice piece of meat. I did make a delicious arugula salad with peaches, blackberries and pistachio crusted goat cheese. It was pretty yummy! Eating a lot of veggies and fruits too. It’s good because it’s forcing me to stay home and cook (we eat out way too much). I think I’m partially dying for chocolate because I can’t have it J Yup, I did Femara on days 3-7 (source of the lovely headache earlier this week!) and then I’ll do a trigger shot either next Thurs or Fri. Still taking Metformin daily. Hopefully, I’ll get out of taking progesterone again this month! Yup, the diet change will definitely overlap with ovulation. Yay for ovulation! I’m holding out hope for you still – even if you aren’t. And, I am sooooo excited for your trip to Quebec City! I’ve only ever been to Montreal, but I loved it – even if those Quebecois didn’t appreciate my France-accented French ;-)

gozal: Thanks lady. I think we definitely needed that!!!

SilaMarila: I cannot wait for you to start with your new doctor. It totally stinks that there’s no consideration for different situations. You would think that given your history they would do more monitoring for you. I hope the new RE is more attuned to your needs. Also, maybe you could have your DH talk to my DH? I’d love to get him into some acupuncture. Sigh.

AFM: This was a rather bizarre week. I had a wackadoodle series of run-ins with a colleague. My boss tried to come to my rescue, but he kind of made things worse. Then I got an apology today from the colleague that has left me feeling suspicious to say the least. I also found out today that someone swiped my credit card information when I was down in Florida. Fortunately, it was my business card, but still kind of a pain in the neck. This is my second fraud situation in the past 4 months. Weird, right?

I had a bunch of Femara induced headaches this week, and creaky knees. I stopped doing the Restoring Fertility yoga because of the knees – not sure if the yoga was causing the pain or the Femara, but either way it was unpleasant.

Itzhak (the shaman) had said that I need to release my creativity – so I picked up a brush and some paints that DH had bought me 3 years ago, and started painting this week. Tonight I worked on a canvas while listening to Coltrane. It was awesome. It definitely settled me after a ridiculously stressful drive home from work during which I screamed at the top of my lungs (I don’t think I’ve ever done that and it felt damn good). I had my second acupuncturist appointment this week, and I fell in love with her. She’s really amazing. Very happy that our paths have crossed. And, she’s also an artist! Hoping to glean a few tips from her along the way! I’m going back to see Itzhak again tomorrow which means no meat or caffeine for an additional week – argh! Looking forward to going deeper into the healing though.

The friend whose wedding I was in in September who got pregnant on her honeymoon is in NYC from Texas this weekend. She and I are getting massages and facials on Sunday and then just hanging out. I’m nervous to see her. I haven’t seen her since the wedding, and I am (sadly) (intensely) jealous of her right now. I know it will be fine, but I can’t help having some mixed feelings.

DH is in Boston for the weekend with the jazz band. I’m glad to have some alone time. I’m on CD9 today and am really anxious to get to next Thursday when I’ll have my u/s for timing. I feel like time is moving like a glacier.

Ok, this is what happens when I don’t post for 5 days. I’ve written 1,423 words in this post! Ladies, I’m looking forward to a much better week for us all next week. The tide has got to change soon. Who’s up next for testing?? I’mma gonna send all of my energies straight to ya! xoxo

[toothfairy2be]

Oh Sourire- your DH sounds so sweet. I hope you did something nice for yourself today. I hate that our bodies let us down lie this & I'll be thinking of you.

Sila- I'm sorry O didn't make an appearance. Hopefully the next 2 weeks go by fast and you will be started on the new Clomid sooner. You were right, it is Caitlyn- it is funny, IRL only my best friend calls me Cait. In the 8th grade Caitlyn was the #1 girls name... I still like my name, but I wouldn't name my own kids something that is the most popular, just not my style

Krunchy- I know you saw our notes in the grads thread but I want to send my sympathy again. Miscarriage isn't something anyone deserves or prepares for. We are here for you when you are ready to join us again and I hope you will come back soon.

Renavoo- I hope your doctors appt went well!!! Like I said to Sila, I do like my name. Do you have any thoughts on boy names yet?

smiles- I hope O comes at a normal time this month and is perfectly ripe, time for a BFP!

hope- There are so many places I would like to visit... I'm going to Chicago this summer and hoping for 1 more city this summer and Jamaica in the fall. If BFN this month we will be going to Jamaica- one positive thing to look forward to!

AFM- Had my charting training tonight, it is very easy, really just CM signs. From what I learned I think I am estrogen dominant in the LP and progesterone deficient as well as endometriosis. My surgical consult is Wednesday and good news from my insurance- I don't need a referral. I am craving sugar terribly and I am not as good about saying no to sugar as I am everything else... I had GF oreos and more than one GF belgain waffle... also salt and vinegar chips, which aren't sugar... but I craved and ate them anyway. Boo... thank you 2ww.

[SilaMarila]

Krunchy - We are here with open arms when you are ready. Thank you for sharing your blog link in your sig, I read it (all) and sadly can relate to almost everything you have written.

Teresa - I also think your shaman experience has been interesting. I'm admit I'm slightly interested in Reiki but certain DH would say no. My DH was reluctant to go to acupuncture until he discovered his swimmers needed major help. Now he seems to think it is making a difference and doesn't miss an appt! I'm glad you are enjoying your acupuncture and I hope you can get him there too eventually. I understand your nervousness in seeing your friend. I hope it goes well and that you are as comfortable as you can be.

tfairy - It's funny because common and popular names are not my "style" either. But the thing is there are no girl names I/we like. Take that back, there is one name we love but it is my name with one letter changed. How cliche and confusing would that be? Anyways, I still like the name Caitlyn  I'm glad the charting seems easy! I hope you learn a lot! Yay for good insurance news! And thanks for the salt and vinegar chips craving. I've been trying to decided where DH and I should go out to celebrate my birthday and there is this gastropub that makes homemade salt and vinegar chips and now I need to go there. Now!

AFM - So I guess things all worked out. I have this Perorial Dermatitis rosacea thing that for the past 2 yrs seems to like to flair up around this time (stress and hormones can sometimes cause flair ups, thanks IF) I went to my dermatologist today (it took me forever to get in, they kept having to re sched me) and I have a prescription to treat it because it's pretty bad. Anyways, the drug had a D rating for pregnancy so I wouldn't want to take it if I thought I was pg. It also can apparently diminish the effects of birth control. I didn't think to ask until I got home if it might affect the affects of fertility drugs and the Provera I'm taking. I can't find any info online saying anything so maybe I'll call the doc. I just need to to take it 2-3 weeks until my situation clears up so I should be good to go by next cycle! And I'm really happy to be on the road to not living in ugliness and shame - that might be a little dramatic, but this stuff is gross. 

My SIL is taking me out to lunch for my birthday tomorrow. Not really looking forward to catching her up on our treatment and IF struggles. I know I don't have to share if I don't want to.

[toothfairy2be]

teresa- well we will see how the quebecians like my american accentented frenchanglish... I can say the basics, like ordering from a menu, asking for the bathroom, time, where the library is (thank you high school french, I still remeber Ou est la biblioteque (even if I can't spell it anymore) all these years later). I am excited to test how much I remember. I am super excited to go- I lived in NH and have never been to Canada! Sorry you had such a hectic workweek and about your credit card (again, what the heck?!). Hope you had an uneventful day with your girlfriend. I always try to tell myself that when I finally have my baby I will regret if I don't participate in these things even if it is uncomfortable for me at the time... sometimes it is enough to convince me to be a part of everyone elses moving timeline, other times I just need to protect my inner 'time stands still' feelings and stay home anyway! Ugh about the Femara headache- I don't miss those days! Is your Shaman visit next week? I find it all so interesting! I couldn't survive 2 weeks meat free! We use a great vegan corn chowder recipe if you are a soup lover I will send it over!

Sila- bummer on the rosacea thing. I hope you get it done and gone in time for your next RE appt, how frustrating!  Happy Birthday! Hope you had an enjoyable visit with SIL and you were able to comfortably share as much or as little as you wanted. I saw your chart got crosshairs... is that a temp rise because of the Provera or did you O when you thought and decide to hold out?

krunchy- I also read your entire blog yesterday and it had me in tears... still praying for you.

Sourire- Just wanted to check in and see how you are doing- thinking of you!

AFM- DH and I tried to have date night yesterday but my BIL needed help with furniture so it was cut short and DH was gone until past 11 so no romantic nightcap for me. Today we had a memorial for my grammie's 1 year anniversary, it was nice to have most of my moms family together- truely about half live away (she has 9 siblings) but a lot of the cousins came so it was good to see everyone- fortunately nobody asked about babies for us. No symptoms other than the sore nips which have persisted since O. That is the bad thing about not charting... I don't know how long they lasted last time. I am only doing 200 of prometrium at night, I don't want to waste it since I won't have another script at my new DR and I figure my progesterone was never tested as low so 200 should be plenty. I'm still taking my asprin. I have noticed after 4 weeks on the new supplements my feet aren't nearly as cold as they always have been, yay! It is a beautifully sunny 56 degrees today, I laid out on the deck (in a sweater) and took the doggie for a1.5mile walk to get myself some vitamin D. I am so excited to have daylight until 7pm instead of 6. YAY!! 

[Sourire]

toothfairy - your new name is so clever! I love it! I've updated you in the first post. Oh and you asked for restaurant recommendations for Quebec City... when I was living there I was a student and mostly ate at super cheap places around the university so I'm not much help! There are tons of great restaurants in the Vieux-Quebec, make sure you go for the French cuisine (escargots are awesome!). I can't wait to hear how your surgery consult goes as I am hoping to go down that road ASAP.

Sila - I'm hoping your new doctor has a great plan for you!

krunchy - I read your blog. My heart goes out to you. I fully agree that your chances of getting pregnant again in 6 cycles look pretty good. Go krunchy! We'll be cheering you on. Also, I moved you from graduates, which made me very sad :(

teresa - so cool that you loved Montreal. I fell in love with the city a few years ago and that's why I moved here after I graduated from university. I'm sure the Quebecois appreciated your French more than you think - anyone who makes an effort to speak French is appreciated! My sister's BF is from Germany and he learned French in Paris and when he comes here he can speak to everyone no problem but can't understand a word us Quebecois are saying, lol! How did it go with your friend today?

AFM - I'm sooooooooooooo glad I took the day off work on Friday. I spent most of the day crying on and off. I was just so upset that such a perfect cycle could have resulted in a BFN, it felt like if I can't get pregnant with a perfect cycle, maybe I will never get pregnant. And of course I was super devastated that my November baby dream won't come true. I think it was very helpful for me to just let myself go and release all my emotions like that. It's crazy how some months I can get a BFN and not be upset at all, and then other months it just feels like the end of the world.

Anyways Saturday I was feeling much better about things (even though I took a FRER Saturday morning and got a BFN - I was pretty much over it by then). I reminded myself that IUI success rates are super low and I never expected it to work going into it. I'm feeling optimistic about getting pregnant by the end of the year. I'm doing one more IUI cycle though I doubt it will work. On March 29 I have an appointment with my RE to discuss the next steps and I am going to INSIST on a laparoscopy and hopefully convince him to put me on the waiting list for IVF. If all goes well I'll get to do IVF in the fall and be pregnant by Christmas!

Saturday night DH had 2 of his cousins over for a board game night and we drank tons of wine and had a blast (I also won a lot) so that cheered me up. And today DH and I booked a Caribbean cruise for early April (right after my next IUI cycle ends), which I am super excited about! I've decided that we are going on this cruise to celebrate my 30th birthday since I'm turning 30 a couple of days before we leave. Normally I would be depressed about my 30th bday since I really thought I would have kids before I was 30, but I'm sure lounging in the Caribbean sun will make it less bad!!!

Today is CD1 for me. One thing I am thankful for is that I never have to wait long for AF to start after I get a BFN. I only skipped 1 dose of Crinone and AF is already here! Here we go again...

[teresaresa]

SilaMarila: Reiki is wonderful, though I'm really digging the shaman experience. Yes, these things do get expensive. I think that if my insurance wasn't as good as it is, I wouldn't be pursuing these alternatives. We wouldn't have the money to pay for IF OOP and pursue alternative paths. DH is definitely leery of spending money on the shaman, but I just tell him that I'm taking it from "my" money (our money is together) so he doesn't get a vote :) I'm glad you were able to go to the derm and get your rosacea taken care of. I have mild rosacea that's been acting up lately too. How was your birthday lunch? I hope you had a wonderful birthday celebration and that all your birthday wishes come true!!!

toothfairy: The frustrating part is that I'm fluent in French. But my accent is funny. When I did my study abroad in Paris, people thought I was from Switzerland. Go figure. I was really excited to whip out my mad skills in Montreal, but they just looked at me funny and then responded in English. My ego was totally crushed :) Language aside, I absolutely loved our trip there. I felt that if it weren't for such cold winters, I could totally move to Canada. I've only been the once and would love to go back again soon. Maybe we'll go over the summer. You'll have to report back on Quebec City. I would absolutely love your corn chowder recipe - thanks!! I'm sorry you missed out on date night. Will you pick a night this week to make it up? It's wonderfully warm here too... I'm looking forward to sneaking out for some sunshine at lunch or maybe later for a tea!

Sourire: I am crushed that your November baby dream didn't come true this time around. But, given the outline you have for next steps, it's entirely feasible that you could get pregnant on Nov. 17 which would still allow your dream to be true just in a dffierent way. I don't want you to have to wait that long, though. So hopefully that Nov. 17 baby was your second baby. Maybe your first little one isn't as talkative! I am once again jealous of your game night! I could definitely use a game night in my life. I'm so excited for your cruise. Where will you leave from? I'm going on a Caribbean cruise with my mom and grandmother at the end of April - wouldn't it have been funny if we were on the same cruise? I've never been to the Caribbean, so definitely looking forward to it.

AFM: Saturday I went to see Itzhak for the second time. It was really, really good. We did a "soul journey" where he took me through a guided meditation. During the meditation, I had the opportunity to speak openly to my mother. A lot of my fears and trust issues relate back to childhood and the things I feel I can't say to my mom. The experience was super, super cathartic and carried over into my session with my therapist today. I have very deep fears that I'll be just like my mom as a parent. Not that she was a terrible parent, but well.... there's some deep stuff there. Getting it out - even if it's not directly to her - feels really good, and I hope it will make me a better, more self-aware mom. After shaman-time on Saturday, I spent the rest of the day with a dear friend who told me that she and her husband are starting TTC. I was actually able to be really happy for her, though I'm sure I'll still feel a pang of jealousy if they get pregnant before us. Then Sunday was my day with my pregnant friend who was in from TX. We had a really nice time together. She still drove me a little nuts, but that's just her - didn't have anything to do with her being pregnant! We had breakfast with her husband and then went for facials and massages. DH drove into the city and met us for dinner later. All in all a lovely day! Wishing today were another weekend day so that I could be out in the warmth. Going to try and sneak away for a bit this afternoon.

On a separate note, I've been thinking about how there's very little information for younger women who are struggling with IF. There have been a number of articles and TV segments recently about IF, but they all relate to women in their early-mid forties who are struggling. No one really talks about our age group - at least it seems that most of us are in our late 20s and early 30s on this forum. I'm wondering why that is, and if it makes sense to try to push for more advocacy or at least recognition that IF affects other age groups. Just musing!