March General Chit-Chat - Page 2 « Back to Group Discussions

[MaerynPearl]

I bought a nursing cover before my first was born. I never used it. The few times I felt the need to cover (when wearing a non-nursing dress where I had to pull the whole thing out the top, for example... or duing the phase where baby liked to pull away and relatch randomly because they are distracted) I just used a blanket, tented between my shoulder and knee so it wasn't touching baby's face (none of them liked that at all!) 

I don't go out in public a lot with such a young child, especially not when I know it will be feeding time, just because it's such a hassle most places i go to find a place for me to sit to do it.... but when I did, I wasn't ashamed. Despite being raised similarly with "nudity is wrong" and not being raised around any breastfed babies at all... I very quickly became comfortable with it and just felt it was so natural there should be nothing wrong with it (and this was in 2003, long before I found mothering! i was 20 and came to this conclusion on my own after choosing to breastfeeding because I was lazy and it sounded easier than bottles lol)

[Iowa]

For the most part (certainly not always), I did use a nursing cover when in public or at someone elses house.  DS was never bothered by it and it did offer good sun protection and act as a catch all for wiping up dripping milk, etc.  Also in the months that he was a distracted eater, having him covered in a busy setting helped him stay focus on nursing.  I did and will nurse everywhere and anywhere that my babe is hungry and like seeing other moms nursing too.  I think it's important for society to see mother's feeding their babies.  (I also like to wear long tight tanks with a built in bra and just pull my whole boob out the top when I nurse so that's about where my modestly in public crosses the line .     

[sjdragonfly]

Originally Posted by Iowa 
 I did and will nurse everywhere and anywhere that my babe is hungry and like seeing other moms nursing too.  I think it's important for society to see mother's feeding their babies.   

Yes! This is one of the things that we discussed, actually. I do think that the more women who are freely breastfeeding in public, the more "normal" it will become in the eyes of society. I think for me, it's more of my own hangups about showing my breasts in public than anything else. But, really, that's silly when it comes down to it. Society has oversexualized breasts to such an extreme point that what breasts are actually there for takes a backburner.

I don't know how much going out and about I'll do in the beginning, but I do plan to walk over to the park just behind my apartment or take the baby to the beach some in August. Those places always have a nice tree I can sit under, though, so it's not such a big deal. I guess it'll be more of a thing as the baby gets older and we're going out more, I guess.

[scowgirl]

You mentioned others seeming uncomfortable with pregnant women... my friend and I (we're both pregnant) have gotten into some slightly weird conversations with other people in our community band where they randomly complain about pregnant women wearing revealing or tight (!) clothing. (I'm guessing everything I have, including maternity clothes, is going to be tight by late in the pregnancy, and it would never have crossed my mind to be self-conscious about it until I heard these comments.) Comments to the effect of "I don't need to see everything you've got hanging out there" have been made, and they're referring to bellies when they say it... honestly, how innocuous can you get? I would have thought that we were past this in 2012, but I guess not. I honestly could not care less what pregnant women wear, but then I'm one of those people who really couldn't care less what anyone wears, so this would not have occurred to me as something to worry about. I guess they want women to hide in their homes until the baby is born like in some mythical bygone era. Weird.

[sjdragonfly]

That is really strange. Not to mention that even the loosest top or dress is going to get tight as you get bigger. Weird. I would never even consider that a pregnant woman try to hide her belly. I mean, seriously. I think you're right about the hiding in your homes stuff. It seems really strange to me. If you're someone who's constantly in everyone's face about your pregnancy, then yeah, I can see people being uncomfortable, but when that's not the case... people need to get a life and mind their own business.

[MaerynPearl]

Images I got off google image search... but...

I think there's a huge difference between "tight because I'm SERIOUSLY pregnant" like this

And tight/revealing because the woman has no modesty when out in public, like this:

not claiming this woman ever went out like that, and when it's purely for photography purposes I find no issue with it... but I have seen women out in public like that.

And while I'm okay with, say, a bikini on the beach, seeing a pregnant OR nonpregnant woman dressed like that in any sort of setting where a bikini would be inappropriate bothers me. Has nothing to do with the pregnancy. But some people are fine with people dressing like that when they are not pregnant as long as they are attractive... but unattractive or pregnant people? no way.

[sjdragonfly]

I know this is super judgemental, but I've got to be honest, I think it's trashy when anyone dresses like that bottom picture, pregnant or not. If you're at the beach, then fine, but if not... Yikes.

When I first looked at this you had a different photo at the bottom! haha. That one was much trashier. This one is tasteful for the photography studio, but maybe not so much for the supermarket.

[MaerynPearl]

I thought the other was just TOO trashy and no one would want to see it. This one is at least tasteful in this particular instance (as great photograph keepsake of pregnancy) but still an example of what is just seriously wrong to go wander the mall in.

[AmBam]

Hi Mamas! Just popping in to say hello! I looked at the belly pic thread and you ladies look amazing! I want to check in every now and then and for sure in June/July! I can't believe some of you are 20 weeks already! It's going so fast! (Easy for me to say, right! :) ) Anyway, hope all is well with everyone!

[Nicole730]

I think it is nice to have a cover because sometimes you might feel more comfortable with it. I usually wear two shirts, a nursing tank and a regular shirt. I pull up the regular shirt and it covers the top of my boob and the tank covers my stomach. I am totally comfortable nursing that way in front of anyone. If my gut or whole boob is hanging out, then I get self-conscious. I saw a woman at a fair nursing walking around with her boob popped out the top of her dress. I thought it was awesome she felt comfortable enough to do that.

[XanaduMama]

Originally Posted by sjdragonfly 

Yes! This is one of the things that we discussed, actually. I do think that the more women who are freely breastfeeding in public, the more "normal" it will become in the eyes of society. I think for me, it's more of my own hangups about showing my breasts in public than anything else. But, really, that's silly when it comes down to it. Society has oversexualized breasts to such an extreme point that what breasts are actually there for takes a backburner.

I passionately believe this to be true. And while I respect everyone's individual comfort level, I truly feel that it's also a responsibility to model public BFing and thereby to help normalize it. To me, nursing under a cover as though you've got something to hide just reinforces the idea that BFing is shameful and not for public consumption :(

While some folks have raised the distractible nurser issue, this really only arises much later, when baby is older and less immediately focused on nursing. With a newborn, they're more focused on the task, so it's only the initial latch-on that's likely to actually reveal much of anything. Of course, for first-time moms, this is a time when you're still getting comfortable with BFing in general and may be less adept at latching your LO on, but the more you do it, the better you get at it! And it's actually harder, IMO, to get baby latched etc when you're trying to deal with a cover and can't see what you're doing. Nursing in a sling or while otherwise wearing your baby is another option; I prefer the front-pack type carriers (wraps, mei tais, etc) for this reason--they're easy to BF in! I've grocery shopped or chased my toddler around at the park while baby was latched on in the mei tai, and if anybody was the wiser, there wasn't much to see.

So I guess my short point is that you should do what you feel comfortable with, but that this should also be about *you* and your baby, and not what "everyone else" thinks (or what you think they might think)--it's our job to be changing perceptions about BFing, among other things, so you should feel like a hero when you're NIP!

[ms.shell]

Aw, AmBam, good to "see" you!  We miss you in our group; how are you doing?

I missed this new thread before now, so I'm subbing now.  Ya'll, I'm bleary eyed and feel like I'm dreaming, because our "hopefully sometime before too long" dream of a homestead super suddenly become a real possibility now!  My head is dizzy from trying to think so fast and it will be a little while before I know if it is going to come true at this time, but I am suddenly seriously looking into moving and building a home and finally starting our farm- I can't believe it!  Keep your fingers crossed or say a quick silent prayer that this is indeed a good thing and truly possible for us, please and thank you.  

I hope you are all feeling well and everyone has a nice week!

[MaerynPearl]

Good luck ms. shell!!!! That's exciting!

[sjdragonfly]

I'm so happy for you! DP and I talk almost every day about our dream of having a little house with a yard somewhere. One day! So glad it's happening for you. That must be such an amazing feeling.

[MaerynPearl]

We want to buy my in-laws house and land when they decide to get a smaller place (hopefully around the time hubby retires from the military) I would LOVE it. The house is over a century old, built by her great great grandfather, but is still very cozy and well built. 4 bedroom, huge back deck, 5 acres of land with a barn and huge pond... most of it is grass right now but I could easily plant a huge garden and still have room for pets and kids to run and wear themselves out.

[XanaduMama]

Oh man--that sounds so amazing (@MaerynPearl)!! I share sjdragonfly's envy of all of y'all: suddenly feeling the house-buying urge so strongly right now (nesting?). A friend of mine who lives in our neighborhood just announced that they're moving to MA, so now I'm obsessed with wanting their house, even though it's way out of our price range (not to mention the fact that we have no down payment at all) We make decent money between the two of us, but we have a ton of debt and one kid in preschool, so there's no way we're saving up $30,000 any time soon (who can? It baffles me how people buy houses these days--does everyone inherit money or what??). So frustrating. I mean, we rent a nice house with a yard in the same neighborhood, so it's not that bad; I just feel like I'm ready to be in my own place after all these years. And more space wouldn't be bad, with #3 on the way.

Sorry. Whine over.

[Jodie]

We bought our house about 3years ago, with no money down, USDA loan, seller paid closing cost.

[XanaduMama]

Originally Posted by Jodie 

We bought our house about 3years ago, with no money down, USDA loan, seller paid closing cost.

Is the USDA loan the one for buying in "rural" areas?

[lbkw]

So excited...I just ordered my "Mother's Day" Present :-) Definitely a splurge!

http://www.mamamordolls.bigcartel.com/product/vbac-birthing-and-breastfeeding-mamamor-doll-kara

I have been loving these dolls over a year and got one for my doula/friend for Xmas. I was considering ordering a custom doll, but I am terrible at decisions and the order form is very long. This one bears some resemblance to our family. (I wanted to get a blue-eyed doll since we all have blue eyes.) And it's VBAC. Interestingly, while I expect the July baby to be VBAC...my story is VBBC (vaginal birth before caesarean) so the doll works either way.

[MaerynPearl]

Anyone else STILL dealing with morning sickness, or am I alone in this boat?

22 weeks today. Still getting sick. Luckily, it's literal morning sickness now, by noon I feel fine... but it still sucks.