I am so frustrated that I am ready to throw in the towel. I probably would have already if my DS would take a bottle of formula. He has been on a semi-nursing strike since he was 4 months old. He would scream at the breast and arch his back, and with lots of tears and patience I managed to continue BFing him by nursing him while he's drowsy, in a quiet dark room, lots of cuddling, and all the other tricks I've seen. It's never been easy or rewarding but I continued because I believed it was best for my child.
Now he is 9 months old and has been eating solid food for 2 months, and he has completely lost interest in nursing, no matter what I do. He gets downright pissed when I offer. The only time I've been able to nurse is in the middle of the night, first thing in the morning and maybe once before one of his naps. He is not getting nearly the amount of milk he needs because he greatly prefers solid food. Since his 6 month visit his weight gain has slowed dramatically. I looked at the WHO charts for breastfed babies of all ethnicities. His curve is still flatter than what it should be. At 9 months, he is barely 16 lbs. I have been walking around the house topless and I;ve showered with him. But I cannot get him to nurse well. When he doesn't scream he'll latch on for literally 10 seconds or so and then go off and do something else.
His pediatrician and my DH are encouraging me to push formula since he should have mostly formula or breastmilk for the next 3 months. He hates formula, though--we've tried several different brands, in sippy cups, bottles, and regular cups. Honestly, I've only given it a halfhearted try--maybe 3 or 4 times total. I've tried to withold solids and I felt cruel because he just cried so hard out of hunger, but still wouldn't nurse.
Right now I am pumping to try and keep up my supply in the hopes that I can get him back to the breast, but I cannot pump nearly enough for him--maybe 3 or 4 oz a day. It has been so, so challenging because I do not believe breastfeeding has helped our bond. He really never seemed to like nursing--it was something that needed to be done so that he could move onto better things. I feel so frustrated and rejected. Breastfeeding has been so hard, so thankless, and to top it all off it has not provided enough nourishment my little boy.
I tried cosleeping, but he greatly prefers his own sleeping space. I cut out pumped milk in bottles a month ago. He doesn't like to cuddle or be held or worn anymore and I'm out of ideas and at the end of my rope. I don't know what I'm looking for...sympathy, tips I haven't thought of, encouragement? I don't know what to do to get milk or formula into this kid and I'm afraid I'm going to get a FTT dx at his next checkup. I read all about the beautiful nursing relationships on this board and I'm so envious. I envisioned continuing well into toddlerhood, but now I don't even know if we can make it to the 1 year mark.
Formula is really not the direction I want to go (even if he did like the stuff) but I don't know if I have a choice.