Bajingo Juice bring us Good Luck - TTC #1 in our 30s - March 2012 - Page 2

[doularebekah]

Hey ladies!

I've been a bit MIA lately, sorry I haven't been checking in with you all. I've missed it! We've had a major crisis at school, about three weeks ago we found out that a recently hired teacher was a known sex offender with multiple aliases. As you can imagine it's been devastating for everyone involved, the students we work with are already really vulnerable and he worked not only as a teacher but also in multiple extra-curricular roles. We've been in major crisis mode ever since and I'm feeling completely wiped out by the stress of that and my teaching load on top. Ugh, it's just been awful. 

I did want to say a massive congratulations to nemrac! That's really fantastic news. Keep us posted 

AFM - I've been pretty lax with everything this month. I've been really tired so while I've been temping still, I often fall back asleep during or totally forget to do it altogether when the alarm goes off. Yesterday I thought I had a major temp spike, but can't actually remember what the numbers were and this morning it was back to normal so who knows. I'm on CD22 so based on previous cycles I should be about to O if I haven't already, hopefully we'll get a chance to BD in my fertile period and I won't keep falling asleep as soon as my head hits the pillow!

[lizzilo]

*sigh* big fat AF day 1 today.  I was cranky with my husband (not blaming him, just cranky in general.  Disappointed I think)

There are babies all around me, and I'm happy but jealous for my friends.  I have one friend who conceived twins while on birth control pills.  It makes me laugh all of those years that I worried about getting pregnant unintentionally.

I am almost to the 6 month point, so I'm considering pushing to see a specialist.  I'm not certain my husband is on board for that though.

I have noticed from charting that I have fairly short luteal phases.  I have also read that they are supposed to be consistently the same number of days, and I have noticed anywhere from 9-11 days.  I'm not sure if I'm charting wrong or if I'm just a weirdo.

ErinBriana- I am sorry to hear about your sister.  She will certainly be in my thoughts.

Doularebekah- What a nightmare!! :(

Lilac- I am still 36.  I am a late in the year birthday. :)

I wish all of you better luck in March than I have had.

Liz

[lilacvioletiris]

TeamViddy, I was laughing about your DH's "new airier underpants" when my DH came in the room.  I had to tell him what I was laughing about.  We both laughed about the things that make use TTCers happy :)

DoulaRebekah, sorry to hear about the stress at work.  As a teacher too, I can't even begin to understand what would be necessary to keep on top of a person with that kind of record who was lying.  I guess that is why we have principals and school administrators.  Hope things get better soon.

Liz, I am totally with you on the being bummed today.  I had two days of spotting which isn't normal for me and then this morning BAM heavy AF.  I was supposed to go to church with DH, but the cramps were so bad, I just went back to sleep until 1 p.m. this afternoon.  Feeling better now but still lounging.  So thankful for the weekend.  It has been 11 months of trying for DH and me and when we talked to our doctor last month, he suggested that first things first was to get DH's sperm assessed, so now that I know I am not pregnant this month, DH is going to go get that done.  If that is all clear and we aren't pregnant by April then I am going to go in for some more indepth investigation.  Hoping to get in next week to talk to my doctor about my hypothyroid first though.  Keep up the faith!

[PoorUglyHappy]

Lizzilo - I here ya about the jealousy.  AND about all those years of trying to prevent... Recently though I have felt less jealous about the pregnant people around me and I no longer burst into tears on the first day of AF when seeing pregnant people.  I suppose you get calloused to these things.  

Lilac - I am happy you are moving forward with more in depth investigation.  I hope hubby's SA goes smoothly!  

DoulaR - I am sorry that you have been going through so much at school.  A little extra BDing might help relieve some of that stress though!

Nemrac- I totally missed your BFP - a belated congratulations! I hope you are feeling well! 

TeamViddy - A holiday baby sounds like a wonderful gift!  

[lilacvioletiris]

Can't sleep for anything tonight.  Laid in bed for 45 minutes, finally decided I should get up and write a list of things to be done so my head isn't swimming in "did I take care of that, what do I need to do tomorrow".

[LivingSky]

Hi ladies - I'm still reading and following all of you, just been too busy to post!

nemrac - CONGRATS! Don't forget to drop in to the Bajingo Juice Grads thread in I'm Pregnant when you're ready!

One more month until I start trying to TTC again. My chart: http://www.fertilityfriend.com/home/LivingSky

[doularebekah]

Thanks for your good thoughts, ladies. It seems like things are beginning to get better, there's a trial date set for tomorrow and hopefully our school can put it all behind us soon! 

lizilo - Sorry to hear about AF, that is always such a bummer :( Are you taking anything to try and lengthen your luteal phase? Vitamin B seemed to help out with mine!

lilac - I'm sorry you've been feeling bummed, it can get so disheartening. I'm really hoping you find some answers with the tests coming up! It'll be so good to have a better idea of what is going on I'm sure, then you can do some more educated planning. 

LivingSky - Exciting times!

AFM - As usual, I'm not sure when I ovulated. I had a massive spike on CD 21 but I discarded it because I'd fallen back asleep while temping and then not totally remembered what my temp was when I woke up properly later. Also with the drop the next day, it seemed like too much of a jump. However, looking at old charts it seems like I do have a temp drop directly after O - is that normal? Also, is your O date always the day before the temp shift or could it be the day of? I'm hoping CD 22 is my real O date because then we'd have had pretty perfect timing and if it was earlier we've got no chance this month. But, it is what it is :)

[PoorUglyHappy]

DoulaRebekah,  you're chart does look like O on  CD22 to me.   I don't know about the temp drop after O, I've never had one but in my experience chart stalking there is a chart for any different deviation.   Especially if tomorrow's temp stays above the line, I think you are right on.  

Lilac, what have you been crafting lately?   I have had a hankering to learn to knit.  I am not sure if I am patient enough though.

AFM - I am 7DPO already this month.  (CD 18).   O happened on CD11 - the early end of my normal (11-15 days) - so I wasn't even using an OPK yet.   Hubby and I decided that after this month (if no BFP)  it is time to start saving for IVF.  We set a goal of Summer 2012 for implantation.   Until recently, we were still hoping to adopt from foster care but we told our social worker we were still trying and she said we couldn't be foster parents until we are over our infertility and ready to move on. LA county won't place children with anyone who is pregnant, trying to get pregnant or had a baby in the last year.  So now I decided that IVF is probably the better option for #1 and then adopt #2. 

Also, one of our best couple friends just miscarried.   They were the first of our local friends to get preggo so I am really sad.   They weren't trying and it will probably be a couple years before they try again.   I will still probably be the first in my circle to have a baby.  

[lilacvioletiris]

Yep, PUH, I have been crafty lately - a granny hexagon shrug for a dolly for a 2 year old's birthday that is coming up that was crocheted.  It is so cute. 

I am going to make a human size one as my next crochet project.

Hoping that this is your month, PUH!

AFM, just waiting to O.  Have lots of things to get done, not nearly enough time to do them and 2 days this week were spent figuring out what new wash machine to buy and then buying it.  Terrible distraction and major hit to our emergency fund.

[PoorUglyHappy]

So cute, Lilac!  Sorry about your washer, that kind of thing is such a drag!

[TickleToes]

Sorry I've not been around or keeping up with anyone. I've been struggling and don't like to bring others down or make everything all about me. I'm getting some help now. I was diagnosed with postpartum anxiety and depression - which I didn't know you can get without actually birthing a baby, but you can. So I'm on Zoloft and Ativan to help curb the anxiety and depression. I'll be starting one on one talk therapy soon and have joined a support group as well. I think its going to take me a while to get better, but I should be able to post more as I start feeling better.

Hope you all are doing well and I'm sending you fertile thoughts.

[lilacvioletiris]

TickleToes, thanks for the update.  I hope the support group and one on one talk therapy helps you.  When my dad passed away in 2007 unexpectedly, it was a grief group that really helped me deal with his death. 

[TeamViddy]

TT, I am so glad to hear you are getting help. Both the chemical help and the human help should make your process much easier. If you are the kind of person who intellectualizes the process, NPR had a story about grief and depression (although I don't think they covered PPD). It was very compelling. http://www.npr.org/2012/03/13/148528075/the-fine-line-between-grief-and-depression  -- I also have some anxiety issues and found that the PPD and mental health boards on MDC have some good ideas for holistic ways to address depression. Best wishes to you.

Lilac, very cute! The washer thing is such a PITA-- been a homeowner for 10 years now (hard to believe) so I am more than familiar with those PITA household problems. Although recently our car had two hit-and-runs and those have provided our little PITA problem to work out. Hope you all recover soon.

I think I O'd? I think my temp today should have been higher- I woke up much earlier than usual. I am really disappointed that we didn't BD yesterday- it was an easy relaxed day and we had plenty of time. We were doing so well but DH is taking the GRE tomorrow and I think his mind was on that. I have always had a more generous appetite when it comes to sex, so I've developed some issues through the years and being assertive about it feels kind of icky.

[pitchounette]

Hello ladies!  I am writing this from home... it's my spring break, and it's after 10am and I'm still in my bathrobe and drinking coffee... aaahhh... :)

Lizzilo, welcome!  We just recently started seeing a fertility specialist and my advice is to do it!  It's really made my life much less stressful and I finally feel like we're getting somewhere. 

Lilac, okay, you have inspired me to do something crafty this week.  I've got to start searching for something to make. 

PUH, we recently had the IVF discussion and quickly realized it's no more expensive than adoption.  I've done tons of reading on IVF these past few weeks, and there are lots of options for payments and even treatments (like micro-IVF) that are less expensive.  I know it's a lot to consider, so I'll be sending lots of positive vibes your way. 

TT, I am sending you a big hug.  I'm also happy to hear that you are seeking treatment.  Therapy has been a lifeline for me during some difficult times in my life (a broken engagement, my father's cancer), and it really does help.  Please know that you don't bring us down... that's what I love about this group of women.  I feel like I can be real and raw and there is no jury or judge, only words of hope and healing.  Love you, my friend. 

Doulah, wow, that's a crazy situation.  I can only imagine the kind of stress that's putting on the whole staff.  I hope everything is resolved and you can move forward and put it all behind you. 

AFM, well...... I had the laparoscopy and hysteroscopy last Thursday.  I was very anxious about what my dr would find once he started poking around.  In the end, he removed 10-12 endometrial polyps!!  That number is crazy high.  He said that amount was more common for a woman in her 40's or 50's.  But, now the polyps are gone, and everything is all clean and fresh in my endometrium and uterus, hooray!!   He also discovered VERY minor endometriosis (minimal, stage 1) behind my uterus during the laparoscopy.  It was so tiny that he didn't even remove it, because messing with it could have caused scar tissue to form, which would be more of a problem than the existing endo.  The best news is that he was able to unblock my right tube during the hysteroscopy, so I have 2 fully clear and open tubes now!  In the words of my doctor, "She had a lot of problems, and we fixed every single one."  YES!!! 

My whole procedure (hospital check in, IV hookup, drugs, surgery, recovery, release) lasted about 5 hours.  I've been recovering at home ever since, and my 3 tiny incisions are painless.  Just a little soreness in my belly, and some light spotting the past few days.  I honestly can't believe how easy and relatively painless this has been. 

And the best news is that our doctor told us we are free to start trying next week.... and my insides look so good at this point, he even thinks we have a good chance to get pregnant on our own, without fertility drugs or IUI or IVF.  WOW.  We're still kicking around the idea of doing IUI since some of DH's swimmers are a little slow, and honestly we're just tired of waiting.  But it's so good to have this information.  We'll discuss our options next Monday when we see my dr for a post-op appointment.  (He promised us photos and videos from the operation, and I'm kind of excited about seeing everything with my own eyes! hee!)

As for the polyps, my dr said they basically acted as an IUD and prevented implantation each month, and most likely led to the miscarriage due to my endometrial lining being so thick and bumpy.  From my internet research, I think the polyp removal will also help with my heavy and painful periods, and maybe even some of the mood swings (apparently polyps keep estrogen stirred up and can lead to hormonal imbalances, etc.). 

Anyway, thanks for reading my mini-novel, I just wanted to share with the group... as scary as surgery can be, I would do it again in a heartbeat.  This whole process has been a rollercoaster, but I finally feel like we're gaining some momentum.  :)

[PoorUglyHappy]

TT, It is good to hear from you- I think about you often.   I had no idea that you could get PPD from a miscarriage.   I do feel like we don't talk about miscarriage enough in society.  I truly didn't know how common they were until I joined this community.  It turns out most people just don't say anything when it happens.   We should have some traditions that allow for healing! 

Pitch, I am so happy to hear about your good news!  It sounds like we will be hearing BFP from you soon! I can't wait!   It was nice they could do the lap, the had to do a mini-laparotomy on me and the incision was painful!   It took me three weeks to really be back on my feet.   Unfortunately they couldn't fix all the problems they found for me - but they did clear my tubes.  

TeamViddy,  hopefully the BDing you got in recently was enough!   How is the temping going in general?

AFM - big temp drop this morning- 12DPO.  I am guessing AF is on her way.  However, I still haven't had any spotting this month.   Before my surgery, I used to spot 5-7 days before AF.  Last month I only spotted two days before AF.  This month I expect AF on Thursday and still no spotting.    Maybe this is a good sign?  Although I don't know how the spotting can be related to my blocked tubes.  

[ericaf]

Hey ladies! Hope everyone is doing well and enjoying the Spring weather. It's crazy warm here in Jersey... not at all like how it normally is!

Lilac: Can you update me? I'm due 8/30 with aaaaaaaaaaaa... GIRL! Woot!

[lilacvioletiris]

Pitch, that is exciting news.  Hopefully there is a BFP in your future.  I have had "call the doctor" on my list of to dos for 2 weeks but now that it is spring break (YEAH!) I actually have the time to call with out student's ears nosing into my business.

TeamViddy, here is to hoping there were swimmers ready for the egg even though you didn't BD on the day of O (if indeed it has happened already).

On the creative front, I made some curtains for a customer and they turned out uber cute!  Now if I can just get in touch with him to deliver them.  http://carlasinspirations.blogspot.com/2012/03/curtains-and-valances.html

AFM, the last two days I have woke up with nasty sore throat, red puffy eyes, and weeping.  Allergies are here early with a vengeance.  My DH could hardly talk this morning.  I don't want to take an allergy pill to dry up the post nasal drip because it will dry up my EWCM but this sore throat will go away if I take the allergy pill.  Decisions, decisions.

[TeamViddy]

Pitch, sounds hopeful!

Erica, congratulations!

PUH and Lilac- I am remembering to temp most mornings. I took maca this month. Combined with the time change things don't look quite as clear as they did last time I was temping. But I o'd on either the 14th or the 18th and both days we got a BD in. So relieved. I would have been so incredibly frustrated if we missed another window b/c of DH's stress. When I get stressed I love gettin' down to release some of the tension, but that's just me.

Lilac, I hope you feel better soon. Those curtains are gorgeous!

Here's my chart: http://www.fertilityfriend.com/home/3b37ed

[PoorUglyHappy]

14DPO, hardy any spotting, BFN...   argh.  

[lilacvioletiris]

My DH and I got devastating news today.  We took his sperm sample in for analysis yesterday.  Today they told us that there were no sperm in the sample.  We are being referred to a urologist so figure out why.  Azoospermia is what the condition is called.  Right now I am just trying to reassure my DH that it will be okay.  I don't know what will happen next, but it looks like bleak right now.