Dingoes Marching into Spring! - Page 14

[1jooj]

Mel38, I'm so sorry about your doggy. Obviously, you acted out of love, and I hope that leads you to a peaceful remembrance of happy times and that you can trust that she's in a better place than one of pain and distress.  The right thing sure can hurt sometimes.

kerc, yeah on the vitamix! There are a few fantasy kitchen implements on my list for someday. That is one. I look forward to hearing about the goodness!

Plady, I did a chakra-based TM last year. I would say because it "worked" as well or better than feng shui bagua layout. This year, due to time constraints, I am considering 4x5 notecards. Not a joke. I may get out a sketchbook and do something bigger, but not sure. Regardless, I must do it. The coming year, I think, will require a lot of vision.

mommajb, I use a lot of words and very few images. And I don't focus on means so much as desired outcomes, if that helps you feel freer to express in yours. 

zub, I'm just glad you and the peanut are hanging in there. So much love and to you!

Nic, thinking good thoughts for you!

JenLove, first, I was not nursing a baby when we were on the farm. That takes a lot of love and energy, and my dd turned 3 just three days before we moved in. Two: we lived very close to town. Three: I had half a lifetime of experience in virtually all aspects of the work involved. I was lucky to be born a farmer. I'd literally been doing farm chores since I was 3, milking cows since 6. That changes things immensely. Four: I had two sisters and a bff who would drop almost anything and come to my farm if I needed them. Five: I don't know. From here, it seems physically impossible to have done what I did. I must have been running on adrenaline and food binges.

Friend and I are having a great time. Really fun to have her here. At the same time, she has been able to intervene and act as a catalyst for certain communications and issues with the kids that had stalled out on me, specifically with dd. She and dd are very close, so it's just been really helpful to have the backup I should be getting from dh for a change a little help with dd's frustration and anger issues that are really homesickness-based. We've walked miles around the city and now that the dust from the storm is starting to settle, we can do some more fun stuff over this week. Whoopie! Dh has offered a few ideas for today, but they all involve going to people's houses, and he doesn't understand the social effects of gender segregation. I end up forced to walk into rooms unintroduced, and am left to women who may or may not act like a pack of dogs. (Not dingoes, either.) Last time was really no fun at all for me, and of course dh puts this on me.  Like I should not be receptive, intuitive or nuanced and should just blissfully Mr. Bean my way through social situations. Anyway.

All this Talk talk...ugh. The kids saw and understood, and I am pretty sure at least ds has extrapolated, from farm stuff. (Goats, enough said.) Also, ds is now going to school with a lot of European kids, which is helpful. But I just am not entirely sure where we should be with dd at 8. I suppose this summer we'll start with a book and see where it takes us. There were no "talks" growing up in our house, but lots of inappropriate things found their way into our lives, and I am glad to at least be protecting my kids from p/r/o/n.

OK, weekend here. Have a super day, Dingoes!

[Realrellim]

JenLove--hang in there. That's a lot.

Mel38--I'm so sorry about your dog.

JayGee--hope you feel better soon.

zub--happy to see you hear and hope things are turning around. Zofran is a good thing, although it was much less effective even at its highest dose than one would expect for as pricey as it is.

Plady--I'm cracking up over your comment about how a certain XH clearly ignored the more important parts of the talk.

kerc--have fun with your vitamix. I have a blendtec and yeah, it's awesome.

1jooj--it sounds like a lovely visit with your friend. I'm glad she can provide support, even if it ought to be coming from other quarters.

tjsmama--glad you got a nice run in and have plans for tomorrow too.

RR: bike 8 with J in the trailer. I thought about going longer before I remember that it was only my second ride of the year and that I pedal uphill about as fast as I run these days.

NRR: I dropped the kids off at my sister's as if I was going to work this afternoon, and then I went back home and got so much done: made dinner, loosened more soil in the garden with the pitchfork (a necessary step before rototilling my garden thanks to the heavy clay content of Front Range soils), discovered several carrots that apparently have been growing over the past few months. I'm 99% positive that we got all the fall ones out, and those would have frozen and been icky anyhow. These are nice and crisp with good color. And huge!


After that I headed out before DH brought the kids home, ran a couple of errands. That included trying out the Brooks Ravenna at a local running store. I bought a pair and will save them for shorter runs until I see how they work out, but I'm hopeful. They're lighter than my Brooks Adrenalines. And then it was off to Starbucks to actually work on the presentation I'm giving in a week. I've pared it down some, but I suspect it's still a bit longer than the 20 minutes it's supposed to be--which is my cue to get back to work.

P.S. Did I mention that my anxious child tried out for a part for the 1st grade program today? For real. I was like "who is this kid?" Actually, I have her orchestra teacher to thank, as she's the one who generates a lot of enthusiasm for these programs (and the orchestra and the talent show and such) among the kids, and R adores her.

It probably also helps that last night was the area strings festival, and R was one of a few intermediate orchestra kids who got to play with the advanced orchestra on the closing song. The intermediate kids had their own part and she'd already learned that, but a few weeks ago she came home with the advanced part. I think it was just after she got her cast off too. Anyhow, apparently it caught a lot of people's attention, in part because she's so tiny compared to most of the advanced orchestra kids (the ones from the other schools are mostly 5th and 6th graders, and even at our school they tend to be 3rd graders and up). There wasn't room for more chairs, so the handful of intermediate kids mostly stood in between the chairs--and even then R was shorter than the seated kids. She played quite well though (or at least her bow was moving in the right direction at the right time; it was impossible to hear individual players) and Ms. M told me this morning at choir that R was the most talked about student after the concert. A bunch of people wanted to know if she was a prodigy, probably because they thought she was 4 or 5 instead of 7. (And no, R does not know about that, but she was very proud that she played with the advanced group and had mastered the part in just a few weeks.)

[JayGee]

Mel38 ~ so sorry for the loss of your dog.  It's always a tough decision to make .

Real ~ whoa!  Those carrots are practically sweet potatoes!  A huge congrats to R for trying out for the program and for performing with the advanced group.

Jooj ~ so glad you're having such a nice visit with your friend.  I can't quite wrap my head around a dinner party segregated by gender, but that's just my own cultural bias I'm sure.  Have a great, dust-free day!

tjsmama ~ yeah, I'd not leave the whole "how to treat women" part of THE TALK up to your XH!

RR ~ just back from a 1+ hour walk in a light rain.  And saw a full arching rainbow too!  I'm still feeling kind of cruddy (scratchy throat, achy legs, tired) but I think my body is trying to kick the cold before it develops into it's full hacking, snotting, sneezy glory. At least that's what I hope...

NRR ~ DD1 is having her best friend spend the night for her birthday party tonight (so glad she didn't want to do a huge, overblown, 10 friends thing).  Pizza, movie, and I'm painting their toenails.  Wish me luck, as I can barely do my own toenails without getting polish all over my feet!

[tjsmama]

real~Holy carrots!

Good luck, jaygee! :-)


It is absolutely gorgeous here today. It was a perfect morning for a run. Too bad the run wasn't as perfect as the morning, but I survived it, and my long run is DONE (7m, whoopdedo). I forgot my inhaler, which resulted in some side stitches, and my foot was definitely sore. It's so weird, it's exactly the right spot to be plantar fascitis, but it doesn't feel like I think plantar fascitis should. It's just kind of sore, whereas PF should be a sharp stabbing pain when I step out of bed in the morning. Nonetheless, I'm going to treat it like PF and ice the crap out of it and stretch the crap out of it. I've got some sore peroneals, as well, I think because I'm altering my stride because of the foot. I went to the running store after my run to get some goodies for my secret sprintee (box is packaged and heading to the PO today, I swear! ) and picked myself up a Stick. I've been wanting one forever, and now I have one to torture myself with!

As for the rest of the day...DS flies out to Ohio for the first half of spring break right after school, so I'm going to pick him up and then XH will get him almost immediately. Then I'm going out downtown with some of my new grad coworkers, which should be fun. I NEVER go "out" out, so it should be interesting. We're planning our transportation so that nobody has to drive home right now. Eek.

[babybugmama]

so sad when our doggies must go to heaven.  Have you read the rainbow poem?

"Just this side of heaven is a place called Rainbow Bridge. 

When an animal dies that has been especially close to someone here, that pet goes to Rainbow Bridge. 
There are meadows and hills for all of our special friends so they can run and play together. 
There is plenty of food, water and sunshine, and our friends are warm and comfortable. 

All the animals who had been ill and old are restored to health and vigor; those who were hurt or maimed are made whole and strong again, just as we remember them in our dreams of days and times gone by. 
The animals are happy and content, except for one small thing; they each miss someone very special to them, who had to be left behind. 

They all run and play together, but the day comes when one suddenly stops and looks into the distance. His bright eyes are intent; His eager body quivers. Suddenly he begins to run from the group, flying over the green grass, his legs carrying him faster and faster. 

You have been spotted, and when you and your special friend finally meet, you cling together in joyous reunion, never to be parted again. The happy kisses rain upon your face; your hands again caress the beloved head, and you look once more into the trusting eyes of your pet, so long gone from your life but never absent from your heart. 

Then you cross Rainbow Bridge together.... 

Author unknown... "

[babybugmama]

I had a vet send that as a card to me when my dog passed away.  I sobbed and sobbed and sobbed and never forgot how grateful I was to that vet for recognizing my pain.  My honey dog passed away 14 years ago and I still get a lump in my throat when I think of her.  They truly make a space in our hearts.  

Had a fantastic run this morning after last nights bomb of a run.  Also did the annual gyno appt...oh about 4 years late.  I last saw one when DS was born.  But I really really like her. She took a fantastic history, asked very good questions, listened to my concerns and responded to them.  All in all she just did a really good job and I felt in good care.  I think it is honestly one of the only times in my life a doctor has given me confidence. Sad.  I wish I could find a GP like her.

Besides being heavier than I would like, I was pleased that after walking there, my heart rate was 55.

[sparkletruck]

Stick a fork in me

Six-thirty-a.m. wake-up, prep breakfast, lunches and self-for-exercise, and out the door by seven-ten; on the bike by seven-twenty-five. Bike/run: HARD 85 minutes. Tired. Mind-over-matter intervals, but felt great after as always. Grocery store and home to eat, shower, meditate, and pack a picnic. Meet friend and her little DD with my DD2 - do aquarium, botanical gardens, take the train to the zoo (little train running btwn the botanic garden/aquarium and zoo), play there for an hour, back to the start - all told, 3 1/2 hours. Quick drive to older kids' school for pick-up. Birthday party at the park-across-the-street for classmate for 1 1/2 hours, then home for DD1's violin lesson. Post violin walk to nearby restaurant for dinner. Home at six-forty-seven, and I'm ready for bed

This week we've scheduled roof repair, window replacement, counter-top replacement, had a painter here for several hours (he has many more to go) and landscaped for several hours (...many more to go). All the repairs and replacements will happen in 2 weeks, so everything else will be done by then too, and we'll put the sign up. You can find me in the yard for the next two weeks

Mel38 -

I know I have more to say but pfft. Back to the gym at 7am tomorrow for weights before DS' soccer game at 9:30, and gardening... I just want to sit in front of the TV with a chocolate-chip chocolate cake and a fork... and maybe a glass of dry robust red wine and someone massaging my feet. Right!?

[Realrellim]

JayGee--hope the germs leave very soon. Sounded like a nice walk nevertheless.

tjsmama--enjoy your night out. And yay for the stick! I have one and like it a lot.

BBM--that's an impressive heart rate.

sparkle--eek. I'm most impressed by the intervals, as I decided not to bother with any speedwork today on account of being too tired. :oops

RR: 7 miles as part of school pick-up. Most proud of running all the way up Hackberry Hill (130 foot elevation gain in a half mile) while pushing one kid in the double jogger. A half-mile from home the tire on R's side went completely flat. She agreed to run with me so I didn't have to change it right there.

NRR: does anyone else have a DH who can inhale half a bag of pretzels while standing in the kitchen and reading? And does that DH also get really offended when one suggests that he snack on something else so the kids have some pretzels left for tomorrow? He started snacking immediately after dinner; two hours later he's snacking again. He usually also snacks at 10:30. Why he can't eat more dinner food is beyond me.

[bec]

So, I'm excited.  I just stepped on the scale, and I have lost 16.5 pounds to date! 

[sparkletruck]

Bec, that is so awesome! Congratulations

JG - any news on the leg?

RR: Weight circuit from 7:30 to 9 this morning, home to garden for 3 hours. Can I lay down and read a book now please.... oh wait, I have three kids; drat

NRR: has anyone watched the series from AMC called The Killing? Im watching it on Netflix right now. It's decent, but it is set in the northwest (supposedly Seattle, but filmed in Vancouver) and seriously it is pouring rain for the entire show Overkill to set the "mood" much?

[MelW]

Drive by posting...

My husband was home for the end of the week, so I ran 5k Thursday and bootcamp Friday. Hooray for the chance to run during the week

Now we're in Vancouver (and it's sunny, no coat weather) with the kids overnight at a family friend's house and we're doing some shopping, dinner and a concert with friends and a night away in a hotel.

[Plady]

Hey mamas,

I feel like I've been gone for weeks!  Yikes, trying to keep up. 

Mel38 - So sorry about your dog.  That poem BBM posted is so sweet.  I'm going to save it for my dd who is still grieving our old dalmatian who died in '06.  These relationships are just so pure.

Of course, then there is our dog who dh pointed out is that dog who gets sent to that farm for bad behavior.  Yup.  We're that farm!

JenLove - Damn girl.  That day you described was A LOT.  Does dh know?  Does he actually understand what you're doing when he's not there?

Jo - So glad you're getting a breath of fresh air in your friend.  And I appreciate the thoughts about just using words for the TM.  I think today is my last chance right? 

Real - Congrats to your dd!  That sounds pretty amazing!  My dh doesn't go through a bag of pretzles but probably would if I ever bought them.  Instead he'll go through a bag of frozen fruit and a quart of yogurt.

BBM - That doc sounds like a real find (thinking DrJen).  Would she be willing to act as your GP? 

MelW - Enjoy this gorgeous weather!

Bec - Woot! Woot!  Raaarrrrr!

Gaye - enjoy the stick!  I was sorely tempted to get one in SF (get it? get it? har har)

Sparkle - Whoa.  That's a lot of work happening in the house!  I say that calls for a little feet up time, even just for a minute!

SS - I swear on all that is holy that your package will find itself in a mail truck on Monday!

RR: Boxed once this week and that's it.  Had hoped to resume weight training today but life intervened.

NRR: Took dd to one of her counseling sessions today.  Dh and I have been thinking that maybe that had run its course but she finds some value in it still so we're still going every few weeks.  Anyway, my evil twin came out in the session and I got totally called out on giving dd an expert guilt trip.  The serious, self-worth sucking pro version.  It was perfect timing in that we all got to see how totally awful I can sometimes be but it was ugly, and obviously, being called on doing something atrocious feels bad.  Anyway, the conversation led on from yeah, that wasn't the first time I played that card on her (and why I might go there in the first place) to just how seriously I have let myself not hear the kids pleading for more mommy time.  I am so not a Shanti or a JenLove or Real.  I have so little patience for hanging out with my kids it's embarrassing/shocking/ridiculous.  I keep telling myself that I'm giving them everything they need but I guess not.  They really do seem to tally up each missed dinner or minute online or vacuuming or whatever it is that I'd rather be doing than being present with them.  But, it did kind of hit me in a place today that it hasn't gotten to before.  Did I mention I just applied for something like the perfect job?  It would be a part time job building and designing shows at the community theatre.  I don't know how it would affect my options for directing or running the kids' shows or what but the bottom line is a salaried gig at the theatre 3.5 miles from my house.  I know, Hello Captain Couldn't Be More Obvious, that I'm not the first mom to fall off the wire of life for kids/life with kids.  I guess I just thought I was doing an okay job (guilt tripping aside).  Sigh.  Anyway, I tried to front load my mending-my-ways with a girls day today in which dds and I spent a heft gift card I'd had for a local bookstore, went out to lunch and then spent a while at the beach looking for pretty rocks and generally playing.  By the end of that I was wiped but they seemed satisfied, at least until I denied an ice cream buy while picking up chicken for dinner.  So, time for me to clean up my act, do some soul searching and try to heal the wounds I've inflicted on my kids.

[Realrellim]

Plady-- Guilt trip aside, you are an awesome mom. And I don't have unlimited patience, not by a long shot. That bike trip we took last Saturday? I'm a good parent until she stops cooperating--which is pretty much immediately. So um, yeah. Also, I think sometimes it's really really hard when what mama needs it more time to herself and what the kids need is more mama time. Someone is going to get shortchanged no matter what. The person who's being shortchanged can't always be you. (And that's not to mention when you specifically try to do a fun thing with your kids, like bike/run to the garden store, and it ends up being a horrible nightmare that probably means I should have spent even more one-on-one time with R except that I was ready to run away and not return for a week.) I don't know where the balance is, but it's something I struggle with.

You're a good mom. Really and truly you are.

[Mel38]

Originally Posted by Realrellim 

Plady-- Guilt trip aside, you are an awesome mom. ...
You're a good mom. Really and truly you are.

Yes, I couldn't agree more.

You know, I could probably use a little of that calling-out by someone once in a while. I can be very manipulative, and I know that a day will come when my kids will see right through me. I wish I could get a handle on it, but really, it's hard for me not to pull that stuff out of my bag of tricks when I know it will work. Mother guilt? Yes please.

Thanks everyone for the kind words about our dog.

BBM, I did not know that poem, it is such a nice image. They had something similar in the room where she was euthanized, framed on the wall. And our vet, who is just a really special person, also said something that I thought was so wonderful - he was explaining the process to us (I forget whether I mentioned that my 2 DDs were there), and that by the time her heart stopped "she'll be running". I still get a lump in my throat when I write that and remember it. I also got a very sweet card signed by the vets and the vet techs at the clinic, some of whom I have known for 12 years. They all said such nice things.

Anywho, sorry for the lack of personals - I wanted to check in to say hi and also say....

Da-yam, bec!!! 16 lbs!? Wow.

RR: My last run was over the Cooper River bridge and back for 6 miles. It was slow, just hard enough, and a nice run overall. The 10k is next weekend, and my secret-in-my-heart goal is to break 1 hour. Probably not realistic, but maybe 1:03 would be do-able.

[Nickarolaberry]

Mel, so sorry about your doggy. 

Plady, let's serve up a big plate of Mommy Never Does Enough guilt and pass it around, k? You're an awesome mama. I have the same issue -- I really am not into 'get down on the floor and play'. And I certainly can pull out the guilt trip when it might work.  Sigh. Echoes of my own mother (not to mention several hundred generations of Jewish Mothers...)

But you know, being present physically while they do their own thing isn't the worst thing in the world either. They don't always need constant engagement and there is something to be said for the comfort of presence while the kids work/play independently. But yeah, I could definitely be more present in the moment also. I don't know why I find it so hard. I am definitely an introvert, and I need recharging time. But I have never (even as a kid) liked board games, etc. I'm always moving on to my next task. Can we get a  here? Mothering is the hardest job in the world, and frankly the most thankless. There is always some shortcoming to work on...

Good to know I'll be subsidizing the next generation of therapists. 

RR: Great 12.14 miles this morning in the cool mist. Now it's off to the races...er...taking the kids down to NY for dd1's friend's bat mitzvah and running around like a headless chicken seeing friends etc. for the first time in 3 years, waking up at the crack of doom tomorrow a.m. to get everyone back up here for school so I can put in some work time on my project. Whew.

[Plady]

Originally Posted by Realrellim 

And that's not to mention when you specifically try to do a fun thing with your kids, like bike/run to the garden store, and it ends up being a horrible nightmare that probably means I should have spent even more one-on-one time with R except that I was ready to run away and not return for a week.

That sounds a little bit familiar. 

Quote:

Originally Posted by Nickarolaberry 
Can we get a  here? Mothering is the hardest job in the world, and frankly the most thankless. There is always some shortcoming to work on...

Good to know I'll be subsidizing the next generation of therapists. 

Yeah, paying it forward.

So, on another topic.  Anyone have any btdt with pinworms?  Yup, found one in little dd last night.  She's been complaining of itchy butt for months (years?) but pinworms were frankly not on my radar at all so I just assumed that it was the result of all the time she spends exploring down there.  Now that I've spent a few minutes with Dr. Google I assume we must all be infected.  Trying not to barf So, other than laundry to rival the worst run of lice ever, anything else to recommend?

[bec]

Plady - Just to echo what the others have said, being present is something I struggle with too.  I think this is one of the reasons I like being a girl scout leader.  It is concentrated time that has been dedicated to the kids and involves me.  I know they want more, though.  They want me to teach them to cook, but my time in the kitchen is some of the "me" time I like.  It's my zen to cook, and I admit to being selfish about it. And, I have to admit, I love that there are 3 of them and that they like each other.  They mostly entertain themselves.  I've worked on being more present with them, but, it is ongoing.  None of us are perfect. I would say that we need to be just as gentle and forgiving with ourselves as we are with each other.

RR:  We all went out for a family run!  All 5 of us and the dog!  We went out for 2 miles.  It wasn't quite the fun bliss that we had last week, but it was still good.  I think everyone will be ready for a fun 5k in April!

[sparkletruck]

I'm so pissed at DD1 right now Im trying to get myself under control Aaahhhgrrrggg

Plady - When DS was most difficult, we started doing dates with im: once a week dh or I would pick him up from school and do whatever he wanted for a few hours. Some of these included a movie and dinner, a special after-school snack and pool outing, the children's museum, etc. The dates faded (they are hard to maintain ) and he still asks if we can start them again. When my dad and stepmom were recently co-habiting (i.e. when they had just moved in together) they each took their own children out on dates, as recommended by their therapist. I still remember the specific dates (I was 11), they were that stand-out.... which makes it even more lame that I have not re-started dates with my own kids
The thing I liked about them - as an adult - is that it was a carved out period of time (ie. had a beginning and end, not the day-in-day-out of playing leggos for example) where I really did just focus on him and every detailed story he wanted to tell me ad naseum. It seemed to feed his need for attention, so he wasnt seeking it in bad ways... then he stopped bahaving badly and we stopped the dates , talk about lame parenting

[doctorjen]

Plady - I want to echo what every one else has said.  I find being present with my children one of the hardest things about parenting - and even more so when I'm working.  One thing that has helped me is to try to find common interests that I enjoy with each child.  Also, I try to just not multi-task so much.  So that when one is speaking to me I make eye contact, not be reading, typing, or texting at the same time.  With 4 children, I feel like I'm often neglecting somebody.  Dh is better at this than I am - somehow, he always is aware when one child is needing attention and is good about giving it.  But, that said, I truly believe that children can understand intent, and apology, and attempts to do better.  Don't beat yourself up.  The fact that you even care if you are being a "good" mother puts you in the good mother category.  Just figure out how to go forward trying to meet your needs as well as your children's needs.

Oh, and pinworms.  Get a prescription.  Treat everyone in the family, usually twice, 1 week apart.  Wash the bedding.  Should be easier than lice to get rid of!

Have more to say, but wanted to pop in with a race report!  I decided fairly last minute to run the Diva Dash 5K yesterday, which is a 5K to benefit Girls on the Run.  A friend had emailed me that she would be out of town and offered me her entries (she had bought a bib for her sister in law, her 13 year old daughter, and a "princess run" bib for her 8 year old.)  I decided I couldn't run with someone else's bib, but that I still wanted to race, so I drove over and picked up her packets and registered myself.   This is an all women's run/walk, and there were a LOT of casual runners and walkers.  I'm in the midst of half training, and really wanted to test my speed, so at 3 weeks before the half I thought the timing was pretty good.

As I lined up, I tried to get fairly near the front as it was obvious this was more of an event than a race.  (I have never seen so many tutus in my life!)  It occurred to me that I had no idea what the course was - out and back? a loop?  hills? - so I wasn't really sure about pacing.  I just ran an interval workout on Tuesday with 4 x 1 mile at 8:00 pace, so decided to try to run a similar pace and see what happened.  It took me 10-12 seconds to get through the start, which wasn't too bad, although the first 1/4 mile or so was really crowded.  Once I got around some walkers and slower runners, it opened way up as there really weren't too many folks actually racing.  It turned out to be through a residential area mostly, and 1/4 mile or so after each mile started was a hill.  But that's ok, I'm from KC now and I eat hill for breakfast!  The first mile I was shocked to see I was at 7:45.  I haven't run a mile that fast in quite a long time.  After that, I just tried to hang on.  There was hardly anyone to run with or race, so I tried to just enjoy the feeling of going fast.  2nd mile was 8:07, and shortly after the 2 mile mark when we started uphill again I was a little disheartened.  I could tell I'd slowed a bit, but it was hard to push with no one to race.  3rd mile 8:09, and somewhere in my fuzzy brain I realized I still had a shot at breaking 25 minutes, so I tried to push hard the last tenth.  Ended up finishing in 24:55 - 51st overall out of 1129!  Like I said, there were a lot of walkers!  I'm thrilled with this time - I've only broken 25 min one other time, in 2005.  The last 5K I raced that was flat, I finished in 26:27.  I am a tiny bit bummed, though, because my lifetime PR is 24:52, and I was so, so close.  I wish I'd had more company out there to push me!

I just got home now from my long run.  Because I skipped the group run yesterday to race, I had to long run alone today.  14 miles done, on a local multiuse path.  It went pretty well - which leads me to believe I could have pushed it a little harder yesterday!

[Shantimama]

Plady, don't look to me for any picture of how to parent.

I am so done right now. In fact, I am typing this in a coffee shop because I literally just walked out on my family. Not forever and I made sure they know that, but I am so done right now. The kids were bickering and I intervened and they turned it all on me which is a bad pattern in our family. I can't figure out what I am doing that makes that happen but this afternoon it broke something in me. I feel crushed by the way they spoke to me, dd1 in particular. I packed an overnight bag and left dh a message at work. I am cooling down over a Chai latte and may go to my friend's cottage later if something doesn't shift. I can stay there any time. dh and the kids can figure out their own supper for once and dh can miss his morning run to get the kids ready for school on time. Right now I am leaning towards going home after the school bus has picked them up but the guilt thing is already weighing on me. dd said she doesn't have to respect me because I let dh push me around in her eyes. That was a bad moment. Then I turned it back and said she may feel that way but she doesn't get to judge him for his behaviour if she is doing the same thing and gave some examples. I feel like the worst mom ever right now and very lost. Also incredibly angry at everyone and wishing I could just run away.