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Handling Stress the 3rd (or more!) Time Around

post #1 of 10
Thread Starter 

How do you handle everyday (and not-so-everyday) stress during your pregnancy?

 

I've found that having two already has made this pregnancy more difficult. We also have some other factors this year that have made it tougher. However, I think across the board that having a two or more children to care for already makes our life fuller as pregnant mamas with less (or no) time to focus on ourselves and the little life growing inside of us.

 

So, what are your strategies for self-care or even just slowing down a bit?

 

Have you been able to get your children to help you in any way?

post #2 of 10

EFT, yoga, and chocolate :-) 

post #3 of 10

I haven't figured that one out yet. I'm in total "stress-mode"....mind you I'm never one to really let it eat at me, but things are BUSY!

 

And we just decided to buy a house and move June 1st (while working full time and the usual craziness of life)....crossing my fingers we're not moving while in labour! 

post #4 of 10

I give myself alone time by letting the kids dump out every toy they wish while I sit in another room relaxing, reading, knitting, or on the computer.  My kids are almost 2 (in a few days!) and almost 4 (in April).  My son has preschool two mornings a week.  I am just thankful that this new baby is coming in the summer, when we can all just sit outside most of the day.  I don't know what I'd do with a newborn right now and two rambunctious little ones.  I'm hoping with summer their energy levels will taper off a bit as they actually get to run around extensively every day.  I have family close by too, so at least 2 days a week, we are visiting with my parents, which helps me out a ton.  I always feel so lame feeling overwhelmed by my "easy" life.  My husband works from home and my parents are close.  Yet I still feel like it's all too much sometimes.   Being pregnant with a third though is so much tougher than the other two.  We always wanted 4 kids, but the idea of being pregnant with a fourth baby is too much for me right now.  We originally planned on spacing our kids 2 years apart each and I still, theoretically, want to do that, but realistically, I don't know if I can handle it.  This pregnancy has been mentally tough on me.

 

eirual - good luck with the move!!  We moved 5 weeks after my first was born, bought a house across the state.  Most of it was a blur for me! 

post #5 of 10

Thank GOODNESS this baby is coming in the summer time, that's all I have to say about that! My kids can't wait to run lose in the woods and I can't wait to sit on the porch and nurse my baby girl while they do it! If I were expecting this baby in the winter time, as cooped up as these kids have been this winter, man...I might just faint or run away!

My temper has been RIDICULOUS. My kids are getting away with absolute hellion behavior right now (not like, in a BAD way...just like, in an "ignoring the rules" was...making messes, unrestricted access to things I usually try to have specific places/times for like paint and playdough and getting it *everywhere*) because my temper is SO bad, that right now it's either "let them run wild and just laugh it off" or "go completely apeshit on a couple of toddlers if I try to corral them at all". I would much rather let them be wild and have fun. When I try to "mama" them with timeout, or telling them "no paint right now" and stuff like that, I can't seem to handle the smallest bit of resistance from them. So I'm just letting everything go and letting them be wild. They are having a blast! Snacking non-stop, blowing their noses on their shirts, puttin the legos in the block bins and the blocks in the wooden food bins, etc etc. I'm just not saying "no", I'm not correcting them, I'm not pushing them to change their clothes or put on "proper" outfits to go places....because I can't seem to handle the stress of "making them" do anything they don't want to.

They can tell that I'm so tired and we've been so sick, they are being REALLY sweet to me. They will come up to me every once in a while and stroke my face, ask me if I need anything...they've been snuggling me a lot, etc. They can tell I'm worn out. I can tell they are, too, from being sick and cooped up, etc....so we're just all being a little easier on each other and the rules are very lax right now.

 

I've been getting so upset at like, sales people, my husband, etc...that I can *feel* my blood pressure hit the roof and I get woozy and have visual disturbances, etc. I just have a super hair trigger right now. I take EVERYTHING personally, I get in these moods where it feels like the whole world is against me, etc.

So, what am I doing to try and stay relaxed, besides throwing out the rule book and just letting everyone do what they want? Well, I'm drinking lots of tea. Looooottssss of tea. My MW makes an outstanding pregnancy tea...I have my own herbal blend I like to make during pregnancy...I'm drinking lots of tea. Tea is the reason I'm okay right now. Just the ritual of it, the warmth...and the sitting down to drink it.

 

I cannot even tell anyone how stressful this pregnancy has been compared to my last two without getting teary. It is so different being pregnant with a 3 year old and a 2 year old than it was with no kids or even one kiddo. This is some hard business right here!

Huge hugs going out to all mamas doing it with a toddler or two on their hip...it's really different and really hard. I'm happy my kids will be so close in age, I've LOVED having my DD and DS only 17 months apart, but the pregnancy part is very wearing on the body and mind.

post #6 of 10

I try to stay focused on the cyclic nature of our life. Everything is always changing, I have learned to stop judging everyone and everything. I am super into toaism, yoga, buddhism blah, blah, blah. I pray for help and have faith our cosmic mother and father will work things out, when things get to heavy. Perception is everything. 

post #7 of 10
Thread Starter 

I totally get the irritability! It seems like I have been more tired this week and also just grumpy about waiting in line, ignorant drivers, etc. when I am normally fine with it!

 

DD has had a very difficult week and had a 2-yr old tantrum (note: she's almost 7!) where I had to actually put her in the rain hold (yes, all of those squats, hand weights and prenatal pilates are coming in handy!) to try to calm her down and keep her from being destructive. This is definitely a drain on my energy!

 

So, I'll share what's in my stress-relieving toolbox right now and borrow a few from y'all. :)

 

Morning power-walk and prayer

Prenatal pilates with stretching and upper-body light weights

tea

hot cocoa at night sometimes

taking deep breaths

napping with DS when I'm able to

"hiding" in my room with a book for 5-10 minutes

calling my sister (yes, there is multi-tasking involved but it helps)

baking

Doing something creative

 

Keep these suggestions coming, 'cause I need all the help I can get. I don't do enough of these things and I Need to for the baby's sake!

 

 

post #8 of 10

i am working on our fifth. the stress is making me a wreck. way more emotional than last time for sure. my poor husband just tries to hold me and make me feel better. at least i can get the older ones to do their part most of the time. but i lose my temper when they screw around. the teen has done the dishes over for the 5th time bc they are still dirty. and the 8 and 4 year old just play instead of clean. i cant bend down to clean it. i am lucky i can sweep it. for some reason when i bend down it hurts real bad at the bottom.

post #9 of 10

I'm on baby #4, but maybe since my boys are older (10,9,5), I'm not feeling overwhelmed or overly stressed. I work FT and the boys are in school and preschool. We are all so blissed out about having a baby girl that I'm feeling nicely supported by my boys and dh.  I do go to a 90 min yoga class every week and I've started walking with my sister once a week- "me time" is really important! I'm also going to a monthly birth circle and I cherish my prenatal appts with my midwife.  DH does a lot of the cooking and cleaning so that helps!

post #10 of 10

I definitely have good and bad days. Days that I am working are not so bad, and days that the boys are at their dad's are  pretty easy. Of course.  Some days I feel like I haven't slept, or something just feels off and I have zero patience.  I'm honestly not sure if it's all hormones or if it's more about the kids or dh's behavior.

 

My children do help to an extent. They are in second and fourth grade, so at that age they do chores of course. Being pregnant has motivated me to keep on them about doing things consistently.  They help fold and put away laundry, clean their rooms and the playroom, pick up dog poop, feed the dogs, vacuum, etc.  Tuesday after school is chore day because I don't go to the office that day. So they come home expecting to do chores, which makes it easier.  We might do something extra after if they have a lot to do, like bake cookies or extra video game time.

 

That said, they have been home from their dad's for two hours and I am ready to pull my hair out. All they have done is scream, shriek, fight, annoy each other, spill food, bang on the piano...I have not sat down for more than 5 consecutive minutes without having to get up and straighten things out.   help.gif

 

 

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