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February '09 Mamas ~ Childhood Chat :) - Page 54

post #1061 of 1166

Prayers Mal! So many thoughts and prayers for you!

post #1062 of 1166
What upsetting and terrifying news, Mal! A bushel of prayerful thoughts and healing vibes to your mom. I'm so sorry that you're going through this. So devastating. grouphug.gif
post #1063 of 1166

praying for you and for her and your whole family. 

post #1064 of 1166

Do you know any more now Mal?

 

I just need to vent ladies. I am very sad. I found out that midwives in BC are not allowed to do VBA2C. Since my family physician would never agree to one either. I am out of options I have to have a third c-section. I'm terrified and have been scaring myself with reading all the risks associated with 2 or more c-sections.

post #1065 of 1166
Hugs to you nilla. That has to feel so defeating.

News on my mom... They found a large mass in her brain, as well as a few smaller masses. A large mass on her colon and some cells around some of the lymphnodes in her abdomen. Last week, they did surgery to remove the larger mass from the brain since it had already started to affect her mobility. That was successful and they were able to get it all. They are going to treat the rest of the brain with radiation. But for now, she is at a rehab facility doing occupational, speech and physical therapy to get her strength back. They are 95% sure it started in the colon. But we still don't have a prognosis or treatment plan. We know there will be radiation to treat the tumors, then chemo. That's all we know. It's bad. It's stage 4. It's terminal. We just don't know yet if we have months to looks forward to or years. Those are answers we're hoping to get soon.

I'm not doing very well. Kind of feeling like I've lost my center and it's brought a bunch of other issues to the forefront for me. Things that were beginning to surface anyway and now have been amplified by everything. I'm kind of screwing everything up and fear I'm going to ruin my family with my bad choices. I'm trying to find out right now if my insurance will cover any counseling. For now, I have one friend I have been confiding in and she has been helpful but I'm still not making good decisions right now.

Sorry to mememe all over the place. I've missed you guys.
post #1066 of 1166

Oh Mal, such a monumental thing to process in amongst all the other changes in your life. Huge cyber hugs to you. Feel free to mememe all you need. I hope your insurance covers counselling for you. Good for you for realizing you need some help in this time.

post #1067 of 1166

  oh Mal! So sorry Mama. So hard to be in that position. I wish you some strength in the time ahead. I really hope you can get the counseling. Sending you hugs Mama!

post #1068 of 1166
Mal, I've been at that dangerous place. If you want to PM me about it, we can talk, I am notorious for sinking the ship. Much love. xo
post #1069 of 1166

Hey Mal,  So sorry, what a terrible frightening thing to have thrown at your family. I hope for the best for you all, and I hope you're able to get that counseling.

 

Nilla - That is sad. I do wish there was a better option for you, but I also think that the risks, while real, are probably still very small.

post #1070 of 1166

Mal: Hugs mama! The thought of losing your mama is more than enough to uproot your world, at any age! I hope you can get the counseling you are wise enough to realize would help! Lots of deep breaths before speaking/acting. I'll keep you and your family in my prayers! 

 

Nilla: Could you find another doc that would consider a Vba2c? I'm not exactly sure how CA medical system works - or if you HAVE to use the midwives. I'm sorry you had that choice taken from you! You certainly can't be the only c-section mama to want more than 2 kids so hopefully the risks aren't as big as you fear.

 

Ever: How did JK go for R?

 

Cindy

post #1071 of 1166
Thread Starter 

Mal - Huge hugs, I'm so sorry you're going through this.  I've also had some dark times, it's an ongoing struggle, I'm here to listen to you.  Talk all you need and you can PM me as well.  I'm not sure what it's like where you are, but here there's lots of non-profit counselling available that are often just 'pay what you can'.  

 

Nilla - I'm so sorry :(   Can you try and find another doctor who would agree to it?  I would think that because it will be 5 years since the last one that the risks would be really low.  I hope you can find someone.

 

AFM - R had his first day of JK and did soooo well.  He was a bit nervous at first but had nothing but good things to say at the end of the day.  I'm feeling a little sad about this milestone, but I'm also super proud of him.  He's been a huge pain lately and I'm hoping it's just because of this transition and that things will get better.  Or maybe he's just 4 and I should accept that :/   I often get called 'stupid mama' or he'll say 'I hate you'.  Plus he screams at me whenever I say something he doesn't agree with.  He is just pushing all my buttons and I'm yelling a lot :(

post #1072 of 1166
Hey guys. Thank you for the hugs. Sorry to come here and randomly unload all my crap like that. It was a bad day. Well, a bad couple weeks really. I really am feeling better now than I was that day. I got to go out to lunch with my mom today and she was doing really well, so I'll call it a good day today.

Gillian, how does jk work? Does he go full time? Owyn is starting full time at her school this week and she is so excited! She keeps talking about how excited she is to eat lunch at school.

Oh yeah, Owyn got her tubes put in and her adenoids out a couple of weeks ago. She did pretty well with it. It did slow her down for about three days, but she rarely complained. Her doc said there was a ton of really thick fluid in her ears and her adenoids were huge.
post #1073 of 1166
Thread Starter 

Mal - I'm glad things are a little brighter for you and for your mom.  I've been thinking of you!  I'm glad everything went well with Owyn's surgery!

 

JK is just the first year of kindergarten, his class has both JK and SK in it (so some 3 year olds (late bdays), mostly 4 and 5).  It's full day every day in most schools in Ontario (it used to be either half day, or every other day, for both JK and SK).  He also does the before and after school program so he's there from about 8:15 until 4:45/5:00 every day.  He seems to be doing really well though, maybe a bit tired/cranky.  He's been in daycare full time for 2 years so he's used to that schedule.  It's just he's in a new place with new people now, so I think he's just adjusting to that.  I feel like he's had to be such a 'bigger' kid than I ever had to be when I was 4.  Just thinking of how awesome he's done makes me both super proud and also makes me feel bad that he's had to.  I wish he got to have more down time, fewer rushed mornings, more time with me where I could actually be focused on only him.  Oh the mommy guilt :(

 

AFM - I'm going through some baby fever :/  I wish I could find someone to continue my family with.  Besides that, my whole life is just working and studying (with a bit of parenting thrown in :P ).  I have my big oral board certification exam in a month.  So I'll be stressed until that's over..

 

How's everyone else doing?  

 

Oh, my 2 friends had babies in May and so they are 4 months now and they were asking me what R was like at that age (schedule, etc.).  And I was able to find a post on our old life with babies thread to answer their question!  I love that I can search up stuff like that, because I didn't really write any of it down elsewhere :P

post #1074 of 1166
Mal, I'm so glad to hear that you're in a better place. If you need an ear, you have many here for you!
Erin ... I mentioned you and included a link to that show you were on, with specific reference to your campstove, of all things. Over at the PBH thread. Here it is. Is that okay? If not, I'll delete it. LOVED THE SHOW, by the way. We watched all of the episodes and it got us so excited about all the nooks and crannies there are to explore on our planet.
More later, loves. Off for a homeschool park play date!
post #1075 of 1166
It's been so quiet here lately. I guess the rest of you must have real lives to attend to, huh? Real life here is confusing right now, but going okay. My mom got to come home from the hospital yesterday, first time since Labor Day! Her radiation treatments start tomorrow. We're taking the girls over to see her tonight since I imagine the radiation is going to wipe her out, she may not be up for visitors later. They have been confused. We spent the whole summer with my mom, then she was diagnosed pretty much as soon as we moved. They don't understand why they haven't seen her and my dad. I'm excited for them to see her tonight.
post #1076 of 1166

Mal -- I'm glad things are going a little more smoothly, in what must be a terribly difficult time. I've been thinking of you.

 

Starling -- I'm totally fine with the link and the mention. Maybe I'll go check out the thread now. I (and especially my husband) have a rather large capacity to geek out about firewood and wood stoves.

Where exactly are you? Not sure, but it's possible I could finagle a book event and meet up while we're traveling in a month and a half or so.

 

Everr -- I'm glad R is doing so well with school. Kids are so resilient and flexible with whatever their life involves, as long as they're loved and cared for. Its us adults who do all the doubting. I'm sure his schedule doesn't phase him any more than dragging him up a mountain phases K.  

 

AFM -- Just got back from a 2 day trip up the highest local peak with my husband and kids and a friend and her 4 year old daughter. Beautiful sunny fall weather, chilly, beautiful colors in the tundra, lowbush blueberries, gorgeous sunset, happy kids even with the coaxing required... I'm sure our 4 year olds are the youngest kids to ever climb that mountain (and looking at the map I see it's about 5 miles each way, and around 3000 feet elevation gain, with some scrambly bits--probably good we didn't check before we went)

 

At the end of the week, we're leaving town again, for probably 2 months!  Driving/ferrying in my mom's camper van, doing events for my second book that just came out, and visiting folks along the way. Hopefully we'll make it all the way to California to visit some old friends there. Hopefully a long road trip with the kids doesn't end up being harder than a long walking trip. 

 

Right now, I'm scrambling to freeze and root cellar everything from the garden, and package books for the mail, and nail down logistics, and generally feeling kind of stressed about getting ready. I'm sure it'll be fun, but not so sure I feel like leaving home again right now.

post #1077 of 1166

Erin - Let me know if you make it to the Bay Area when you're in California! Happy journeys!!

post #1078 of 1166
Erin, we're in Vancouver ... Which would love you! But WHISTLER would gobble you up!!!! Contact armchair books there, if it interests you!
We can try to make it o Bellingham if nothing else, AWESOME!!!
post #1079 of 1166
Thread Starter 

Hey everyone!  Just had to share some possibly exciting news, I think we're getting a dog tomorrow!!  We're driving about 2 hours away to see some puppies that look perfect for us, and if all goes well we'll bring one home with us!  So exciting :)  I feel like I'm probably crazy and might regret this, but I think it will be really awesome for Royce and for me too :P  R and I are debating names at the moment.  I'll have to update you all after tomorrow!

post #1080 of 1166

Everr: We are DEFINITELY going to need pictures!! Puppies are tons of work - but once you are past the initial stages, it's so great to have a lovable friend.

 

Erin: Your book arrived yesterday! I can't wait to read it. I even think my husband might enjoy reading it and he is so anti-book.

 

Off to a high tea w/Makenna. My friend that also has a 4 yr old invited us to a party her friend is throwing. I am wearing a floor length, kitchy ballgown and some fantastic, pink frilly shoes I bought ages ago. Makenna is wearing one of her pink dress up outfits, princess shoes, tiara and rainbow jewelry. My friend is wearing her wedding gown. Baby is staying home with daddy. I adore high tea! My mom and I go to a tea shop every time she comes to visit. This should be fun. :-)

 

Happy fall! Fall is my favorite season. Last year I couldn't wait for fall bc it meant baby would be arriving. Can you believe Aria will be 1 next weekend?! Can't believe 3rd babies are brewing around here. So crazy.

 

Cindy

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