February '09 Mamas ~ Childhood Chat :) - Page 2

[starling&diesel]

Cindy - I'm always worried about my supply, but I think it's stable. H is drinking about four ounces in a cup about three times a day, and still nursing tonnes. I think it really helps that he sleeps with us, so he can nurse on demand during the night. What's your plan this time? Do you still have your LA systems? Want mine? I've got lots of bags too.

Courtney ... What a gorgeous belly you have! I can't believe that you're so close. The girls' school sounds wonderful. Does it have a specific approach? Waldorf, etc?

Mal ... Sounds like you've put a lot of thought into the charts. I'm interested to hear how it goes. We've never done any reward system, mostly because I get lazy about follow through. I like that they'd know when their screen time is used up. E is always wanting to know if she can watch something and the answer is usually no. I wonder if it'd be better to give her control? Let her decide when to watch one show a day... So she's not always guessing. But I want her to not obsess, so I'm not sure what the best approach is.

Sue ... From everything you've ever said about F, I doubt that garlic is the main culprit. I really hope you figure it out soon! I can't wait for you to move south!

Ever ... R sounds so very normal to me in all your posts. My diagnosis? You're parenting a three-year-old! Hang in there, mama. I know that you're a gifted mother.

AFM: I signed E up for gymnastics, which is quite a coup! It's a popular, affordable program at the community centre and we lined up early and got the second to last spot. It starts in April, and E is very excited. H is a rolling machine ... He rolled right off of the couch this morning while I reached for a diaper. Bad mama moment. : (.
He and E absolutely adore each other and are really loving making each other laugh and smile. I love it!
I think dp and E are going to The Lorax this week, and then next week E and my mom are going to a play about "Frog & Toad" ... From the books, which are some of her favorites.
Easter: Hadn't thought about it. We might skip it one more year? Or maybe we'll do an egg hunt. E would like that. Thanks for reminding me!


(writing this on my iPhone, so that's it for now ... And I apologize for the typos!)

[Thursday Girl]

everr- i could have written the post you wrote about R concerning Juniper. She is a brat! Hubs says all of the girls went through this.  He is the one that reminds me when I block out the kids bad behavior or annoying pregnancy things. LOL. It goes away eventually b/c my older kids don't do it...they do other stuff.

[Vegan Princess]

Starling: Gymnastics sounds fun! I didn't love the class offered here. I felt like it was basically "open gym" for this age with little instruction. And they charge an arm and a leg for that - when they also offer "open gym" to play on the same equipment for twice as long for half the price. I love the idea - just not our options around here until M is older. Thanks for the lactaid offer! I may take you up on the bags once I am ready to give birth (don't want to jinx anything). I think I have 3 lactaids? I can't remember. My plan this time is no bottles. Lactaid from the get go. And also dom from the get go. I didn't start dom until 2 months last time and lactaid until 5 months. I'm hoping doing both early will really help me getting a boost in the beginning. Also, I'll be taking lecithin from the start. I got mastitis twice in the beginning and it killed my supply on my left side. I finally got back to an ounce per feed on that side once I started goats rue when M was 9 mos old! 

I think I forgot to mention, I signed M up for swimming lessons. They start late April. I chose the ones where parents can still be in the water with them. Most want them to be alone once they turn 3, it seems. DH is going to take her. Though I'm sure I'll go along and watch at least some of the times.

Cindy

[Everrgreen]

Thanks for the commiseration!  It makes me feel better that this is just normal.  I was really starting to worry that I needed to fix my parenting style.  Which is pretty relaxed and that's why I was worried...  I feel like every single day is a learning process for me.  I could almost even say every single minute lol!  I think sometimes my expectations of R are too high.  And I also think sometimes he's desperate for my attention (which is often limited and distracted...)  I'm trying though!

I'll be signing R up for swimming and soccer this spring/summer.  I think that's it.. That should be enough considering he's already in daycare full time.  He (and I) need some downtime to do whatever we want with no commitments.

Cindy - I actually purposely waited til R was 3 so he could do the no-parents group lol!  He tends to cling to me in the water and won't participate (I tried it last winter).  Although the last time we went swimming a couple weeks ago he FINALLY started swimming on his own (with a life jacket on)!  He was thrilled with himself :)  So I think he'll enjoy the swimming lessons on his own.  

[starling&diesel]

Cindy ... You might want my LAs too.  I have six, and it was great to have them all full and not worry about refilling them.  When are you due?  The gymnastics that I signed E up for are awesome ... taught by professional gymnastics instructors and part of a larger affiliated gymnastics group.  Only $50 for April-June, Saturdays!  Whoo hoo!  I really hope it'll boost E's physical confidence.

Swim lessons ... E goes swimming twice a week, usually.  Lately she's refusing to put her head under, for whatever reason.  She's very confident in the pool, and loves swimming.  She's taken three sets of lessons so far, all parent participation.  The next one she needs to take is no parent participation.  And she 'has' to put her head under in order to 'pass.'  I don't want to set her up to fail, so we're not doing that session this season.  She's not ready to go in without one of us with her, and she's adamant about not putting her head under.  H has gone under several times (sooooo easy with a baby!) and so E is staring to think about it.  Would you mamas put her in knowing that she won't pass?   Should I put her in and let her do as much as she can?  Would it be good to see if an instructor could encourage her in ways that I'm not?  I'm feeling very unschool-y about it.  Like, she'll get it in her own time.  She has plenty of opportunity.  Gah.  Dunno.

[Mal85]

I taught swimming lessons for years and I often had kids in the youngest class (no parents) who would obviously not pass the first time around, but it was still a good learning experience for them. I plan to put Owyn in lessons this summer. She loved the parent-tot class last summer and this year she is old enough to start the class without me. I know she won't pass this year, but she'll still learn a lot from it.

[Everrgreen]

I'd put her in anyway!  I 'failed' swimming lessons 3 times because I wouldn't put my head under.  I was probably about 3 or 4.  I don't remember being too traumatized about it :P  I can't remember if I had to redo the whole session.. I think they just moved me on as soon as I finally did it (3 lessons later..)

[Vegan Princess]

Starling: Sure, I'll take them. :-) Can't hurt! And they have special nursing vibes from you guys! LOL! I'm not due until 10/5. Soooo far away!!! I'm not focusing on that at all right now. Just focused on my appointment on Friday to make sure everything is ok! $50 is amazing! Our gymnastics comes out to like $26 per 45 minute class. Open gym is $10 for 1.5 hours. 

I don't think M would swim without one of us right now. It's been too long since we've really been in a pool. And she clings to me so much lately - won't play in big groups and wouldn't leave her death grip on my leg at the dance class I took her too. And I doubt she'll stick her head in the water now either - she never has been willing. But she may surprise us. Hopefully she'll be ready for a class without us after she does this 8 week session and gets comfortable with the setting, etc.

Cindy

[AKislandgirl]

Swimming: I'm a terrible mother who has taken her child swimming only a few times in her life. I really need to get her in the pool regularly. I have no clue about lessons here. I'll have to look into it but I think I'd prefer her to be in the pool with one of us (err... with DH!). our pool is freezing!!

Lessons: F is doing a dance class and it is up to debate as to weather or not she will stay in it. She loves it and has fun but seriously is a falling apart exhausted mess after class every time. It's like it takes everything in her to listen, do it all on her own, interact with the other kids, etc... She has class again on Saturday and we'll make the decision then. We are going to try to bring a snack to eat there after class and let her know ahead of time that we are heading straight home to read books. (quiet time to recharge.) We will see. Makes me think about some of you guys who's kids are ready for preschool- F is so not there. They want all the kids to be in a recital in May. We are unsure if we will go with that or not. She's only 3 after all and I have no need to push her into something she's not comfortable with. Some of the parents have rubbed me the wrong way in there interactions with their kids as well. DH and I think maybe the dancing scene isn't for us after all! But like I said, we will give it another shot this weekend since she does enjoy it and if we stick with it stay through the end of the session.

Kids driving parent nuts: Me me! F can be quite whiney and demanding. It is very difficult for me to remain positive and keep it together sometimes.  She also rejects any help or comfort from DH when she is in certain moods which puts it all on me. Sometimes I just want a break!!

Starling, I too doubt garlic is the only thing in the picture with Fiona. I wish we could do all the testing we needed to right away (and that the tests would really give us the answers we need- I realize they might not!) but its just not that kind of thing. Lots of waiting, taking things out for a few weeks, adding things back in for a few weeks, etc... Hopefully by the time summer comes around we'll have a better picture of things.

[starling&diesel]

Cindy ... October babies are great!  And perfect timing for me to move my LAs along.  I'd planned to hold onto them for his first year, just in case.  You know what I mean.  I need some kind of 'insurance' even though he drinks happily out of an open cup and nurses all the time.  You get it, I know.  So yeah, remind me closer to your due date (in case he comes early ... because I'm convinced this one is a boy) and I'll pack them up and ship them off to you! 

Sue ... I hear you about the classes.  I just had that conversation with my partner, about when it's okay for E to quit something.  We've decided that three tries is expected and then she can decide.  Does that sound realistic to you mamas?

Ever and Mal ... Thanks for the swim lesson feedback.  I was such a fish when I was little.  I can't remember a time when I didn't know how to swim.  My mom started us super young in the pool in my grannie's apartment building, so we were swimming by two, she says.  It's hard for me to be patient on this one.

Erin ... Awesome about K's interest in phonics!  E is loving playing with letters and sounds and sounding out words.  She 'reads' all the time (hallelujah!) and often sits on the couch reading while I read my book and H nurses.  She's pretty good at sounding the words out when she wants to try.  I'm not pushing it at all.  I never make her try to sound it out, but she's into trying on her own. 

Oh, and whoever suggested a penpal set up with the kids, that'd be cool!  Or skype?  Let's do something!

[Nillarilla]

Classes - I feel so terrible Dee isn't in anything right now. I just have absolutely no. time. I'm hoping that we can start preschool in the fall. Swimming lessons around here seem like kind of a joke. They don't actually teach them to swim. There is a private lady however that is supposed to be really good. I need to contact her because my 5 year old still can't swim. He's done all the lessons so far in the public pool and can barely float. It's a bit ridiculous to me. We were supposed to sign Dee up for dance but I lost track of time and so.... yeah.... no dance. Em is in hockey but he's missed a lot with our illnesses. 

Starling I would put her in even if she will fail. I think it's a good learning experience especially if it's up to her whether or not she does it. My kids also do better when they are without parents they listen better and accomplish more in classes. As far as quitting something. My rule is if you decide to do a session of something be it art, sports, school, choir etc. You must finish the session. You never need to do it again but you must finish the session. Maybe that's a little hardcore.... I don't know but my philosophy is that you should finish what you start. So we only choose things with short sessions for now. 

Sue I hope you get your answers. Allergies are such an ongoing battle. 

Mal I commend you on the chart. I've tried to start a few but I don't have the discipline so we fall off the wagon. 

It is late why are my children still chattering away in their room.....????

[AKislandgirl]

I like the idea of pen pals and skype! Sounds like fun! :)

We finally had the car today and it felt so freaking good to get out of this freaking house!

oh, cindy: F got one of those dino eggs that hatch for Christmas. She loved it but be warned- it took like a week!

Edited by AKislandgirl - 3/7/12 at 9:22pm

[Mal85]

Sue: How long has she been taking the class? I had some parents complaining of that right after preschool started. It's totally typical for a 3 year old. You're right, it takes a lot of focus and energy for her to hold it together during class and when she gets home, she feels secure enough with you to just decompress and let her frustrations out. The same thing will likely happen when she starts school if you don't plan to homeschool. I really don't think it's a sign that she's not ready, because she's likely to do it at any age. My older nieces and nephews still go through the same adjustment at the beginning of every school year. I had one mom tell me after the first couple of weeks that she was thinking of pulling her son out because he was a mean, crabby little boy everyday afternoon after school. I told her to give it a little more time and within a couple more weeks, he had adjusted. 

I think Skype would be lots of fun with the kids. I got rid of my laptop though and I'm not sure if our desktop as a camera. Maybe I can do it on my phone... I'll have to investigate.

So far the chart is going pretty well. When I see her doing something that is on the chart, I'll say something like "Owyn! Right here on your chart it says 'throw trash away'!" and right then she'll realize that she just did throw her trash away and will run over to where I keep the stickers chattering about which sticker she's going to choose. She likes to count how many empty boxes she has left. We haven't started the tv time chart yet. The way I made it, it starts on a Sunday so we'll start it this weekend. We decided to leave Saturday as an open day with no tv limits, but only because we're not usually home much on Saturdays. Not much time for tv! Plus, DH gets up with her on Saturdays and his Saturday morning "routine" is to throw Wonder Pets on while he dozes on the couch. 

[Thursday Girl]

swim lessons- we've never done them (and we live in florida lol), honestly most summers we only make it to a pool a handful of times, except for last summer when we had to stay in my sisters apartment and there was a pool right outside. So when we go a kid is with a grown up or we put floaties on them (and still watch of course). The 2 older girls eventually taught themselves to swim, i think it had to do with peer pressure as their friends who had the pools could swim.

as for other lessons- Junes is in a music class the country offers for free through the childrens board. The other girls would like to be in stuff, but I can't even afford the cheap classes the city offers ($35 for 7 weeks for dance or gym, $25 for 6 weeks of soccer or a sport $15 for a month of tai kwon do) consistently. Maybe one kids class sometimes we could swing, but to put 2 or 3 of them in there, plus you need to buy the city rec card that's good for a year, it just isn't happening. I kind of feel like an ass and a loser but what am I going to do?

[AKislandgirl]

Mal: Thank you for that perspective on F's reactions to her lessons. It does make a lot of sense to me what you've said. She's been in them a couple of months but the first month she was in with only 1 other kid. When it became clear that they coldn't hold 2 classes with that age group they combined them into one. So this last month she's been in with about 8-10 kids which is when we started noticing the problem.  We'll see how this class goes on Saturday.

[Everrgreen]

I would love to do penpals and/or skype!  I think R would have fun with that :)  I have skype downloaded but I've never actually used it, but I'll figure it out :P  Whoever wants can look me up by my name!  

I've been thinking that it's time to start a bedtime routine for R.. As it is he stays up until I'm ready to go to sleep - he won't fall asleep alone ever.  This means he's staying up late.  I don't want a big routine because I'm lazy.. But I was thinking of making bedtime about 9pm (which is late, but right now he stays up til 10pm so it would be an improvement!)  So maybe start getting ready at 8:30 - snack, teeth, potty, pjs, story, sleep (ideally I would say goodnight at this point, leave the room, and he would fall asleep on his own... Is that asking too much?).  He still has num-num at bed time too but I'm really trying to end that.  He will now go a couple nights without it and then he remembers and wants it for another night or two.  It's slowly becoming less.  And we still cosleep so I'm planning on him going to sleep in our bed and I'll just join him later.  I don't know what to do about this!  Sometimes I really would love an hour to myself at night..  But I really don't want to fight with him over this because I don't have the energy.  Another problem is that sometimes I'm ready for bed at 9 myself, so that would mess up the 'routine' because I'd be going to sleep with him.  Hmm, oh well..  Maybe I should just leave it alone for now..  

[Vegan Princess]

Everr: Our routine starts around 7:15 or 7:30. Potty, put on diaper and pjs, read 2-3 books, brush teeth, then into bed (our bed again). Often we both lie with her - but it has to be at least 1 of us. We usually get up again and have our free time once she is asleep. DH has been going to sleep for the night w/her and it's making me annoyed bc I never see him. LOL. Or he falls asleep and stays asleep until I come to bed and then gets up for 3 hours. But anyway, she doesn't care if we sneak out. It is hard to get up again if you let youself fall asleep! What time does R wake in the morning? 10 seems so late for getting up to get to daycare. Does he still nap? M doesn't nap. She's done by 8. And still sleeps until 7:30 or 8. As for falling asleep alone - i don't know how to get that to happen. But I know M would NOT go for it easily right now! She never has! I think it would either involve some measure of slowly moving yourself further from him each night until you are not in the room w/him anymore or having him be upset about it. Probably easier to just lay with him for now.

Cindy

[Mal85]

Yes, I was going to ask if he's still napping as well. If he is, then cutting the nap out will help greatly with getting him to bed earlier. I know if Owyn was staying up until 10 and getting up early every morning (she's an early riser, 7:00 am has been sleeping in for her lately) then she'd still need a nap. As it is now, she gets up earlier on the days I work and every couple of weeks needs a nap one day to kind of recharge. Anyway, we start our routine around 7:15-7:30 as well. We brush teeth, get pull-up and PJs on, get a drink of water, go potty, kisses for everyone. Then, usually DH lays down with her (in her twin size bed). She's usually so tired that she falls asleep within minutes, but other times she stay awake for 15 minutes or so and just talk about her day before falling asleep. DH gets back up after she falls asleep. Sometimes she asks for me to lay down with her, but it's mostly been Daddy's job ever since I was hugely pregnant and really uncomfortable laying in her small bed with her. 

If he's tired, I think it'd definitely be doable to lay down with him and get back up after he falls asleep. Sometimes, the hardest part is not falling asleep while waiting for Owyn to fall asleep. She has occasionally fallen asleep by herself, but it's rare. It's usually totally by accident too. Like DH has her all ready for bed, lays her down, then goes to the bathroom or something and she'll fall asleep while she's waiting for him to come back. The other night, DH put on a movie for her and let her watch it in bed. She did fall asleep, but I didn't really like it so he hasn't done it again. I don't want her to have that stimulation right before falling asleep. My rule is usually that she can't watch tv once it's dark outside. Not sure what I'm going to do with the time change coming. It won't be getting dark until much later pretty soon!

Going to get my eyes checked this afternoon. I feel like I've been putting this off since I started having babies, but we finally have vision insurance so it's time. I've never had an eye exam before other than my regular sports physicals when I was in high school. Really hoping I don't need glasses, but suspect I probably do. My eyes have been bothering me for a while now and it's getting to where I really notice how blurry things are becoming, things that I used to be able to see. So, we'll see...

[starling&diesel]

Ah, bedtime.  The elusive beast we all want to tame.  It's interesting to read about everyone's arrangements and routines!

I'm usually alone at bedtime (dp tends to work 12-9pm), which is not ideal.  But I make it work. 

E is not napping at all anymore, so she's done by 7pm.  We start the routine then, bath (sometimes), teeth, wash hands and face.  She chooses two books, we get into the family bed, along with H.  We read the stories while he nurses, then turn the lights out and E listens to an audio story while I lie beside her, nursing H.  H usually falls asleep.

E's usually asleep by 730pm with no bath, or 8pm if we add a bath to the routine.

I worry about when H is no longer interested in just nursing quietly why E falls asleep.  I'd like to be able to leave E to fall asleep on her own, but I don't see that happening any time soon.  On the rare occasion that H won't settle and be quiet with just nursing, I stand beside the bed bouncing him while she falls asleep.  That's as far as I can get, and only if H is fussy, which is very, very, very rare. 

[AKislandgirl]

No naps here either which makes bed time a lot easier for us. Our routine is to do jammies, teeth and potty, 2 books on the couch, kisses and hugs for everyone and then into bed. We do the couch for books because she'll let DH read to her and help with bedtime but not once we go to bed. She nurses for a minute then rolls over and I lie there while she falls asleep. This is usually less then 5 minutes. We aim for in bed by 8:30 but it often goes a half hour either way depending on the night.  Maeve is begining to protest this plan of being with DH while she's tired and hungry so things are shifting a bit- I often go get her if she is fussy and then lie in my bed while nursing Maeve or do the bounce next to the bed like Starling. I can't leave the room either. Someday... a mama can dream right?!

Maeve woke up with an awful cough this morning. Poor baby just feels crappy today. I hate that.