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February '09 Mamas ~ Childhood Chat :) - Page 19

post #361 of 1166

Starling: H sounds a lot like Greta. She really is a delightful baby too. She plays on her own for pretty long stretches. Owyn wasn't really a difficult baby by any means, but she didn't play on her own until she was much older. Maybe a second child thing. Greta would like to be on the move, but she just hasn't figured it out yet. She does roll pretty much anywhere she wants to go. Just this week, she mastered sitting up on her own, but is rarely still long enough to stay there for long. She is very vocal too and loud!! She says mama and dada and jabbers all the time. Tonight she signed "all done" for the first time! Owyn never picked up on the signing, but Greta tries to copy everything we do so she is really picking up on it! I need to introduce more signs. 

post #362 of 1166

Starling - Welcome back! Glad it went well. And great to end up with an easier second baby. My two were similar, I think.  And as she grows into a toddler, I think L is more difficult. The age is more difficult (I'll take 3 over 16 months any day), but also she has less natural caution and more natural deviousness, and is hell-bent to keep up with K.


Biking with kids:  I use a double trailer, a Burly.  Both kids squeeze in just fine, and even though they're close together, they don't seem to mind. Towing both of them up the hill several times a week got me in great shape, which I'm losing a bit now that preschool is out for the summer and I don't take them into town so often.


Swimming:  I could sign K up this year, and he'd have no problem leaving me, but I'm almost certain he'd refuse to participate, so I won't bother.  He's never been super into the water (which leads me to take him to the pool less often, which compounds it), and he's a very cautious soul who takes a long long time to warm up to participating in any game or activity with other kids and mostly just says no to them. Even after months of preschool, there were lots of activities there he only ever liked to watch. (oddly, he's not at all shy with kids or adults)

post #363 of 1166

Lessons- June isn't doing any, although I am thinking of starting a co-op preschool thing with some of here friends since she won't be getting into school next year like her sisters did.


easier 2nd child- sweet, that's always nice. I think all of mine have been pretty easy (probably why I have 4). Jewel (9) is tougher now b/c she's really mean to her sisters and Josie(6) is sort of a pain because she doesn't solve problems she just cries. June is pretty bratty and says people are stupid when they don't do what she wants. We are trying to work on all of these things.


Starling- can't wait to hear about your trip.


biking- I used to have a 2 kid pull behind trailer, it was nice. Someone gave us a ride behind bike seat we will use for Coraline and it would be sort of cool to all go out bike riding but my bigger girls I think might give up, but it I thought they could decently do it I'd be tempted by the ride behind bike.

post #364 of 1166

'urgh super annoyed with Hubs. We are leaving soon to go to a food fight birthday party and he is not going to make it. the party is for a 6 year old and 8 year old and now Junes is going to have to food fight alone because I can't be outside, I need to be inside with the baby. I know he's working but I think he should put the job off for a day so he can help her. I've been planning on him coming since we got invited, but his work always trumps any and all plans. It's not that I think he shouldn't work just that sometimes he needs to plan around events.

post #365 of 1166

Sorry Courtney. I hope someone was able to help her. Can't even imagine a food fight birthday party!!

post #366 of 1166

It was pretty awesome. My best friend ended up helping her and all of my kids had tons of fun, I'll show you pictures once I get them loaded.

post #367 of 1166
Thread Starter 

Courtney - the food fight party looks like it was so much fun!!  I would love to host something like that someday.  Maybe as an end of the school year party when R is a bit older.


It's funny, R is so good about leaving me and being independent if it involves playing with other kids.  But at home he can be so clingy and rarely plays alone.  He just needs to be with someone I guess, but it doesn't matter if it's me lol!  I'm going to get him into swimming this summer so that should be fun.  And he's still enjoying soccer too.  Not sure what we'll do in the fall but I'll have to find something.


I had my first shift on Saturday and I LOVED it.  It is such a great place to work.  The manager is very nice and very like-minded (we both had home births and bonded over that :P)  I'm mostly in the kitchen which is great.  I love preparing food and I love cleaning too so it's perfect.  I'm really going to enjoy it there.  I have 4 shifts a week, 6 hours each.  But the one shift is Saturdays and the day care isn't open so I need to find babysitters and my daycare subsidy will only cover the 3 week day shifts.  Kind of sucks.  But I'm glad to be working!

post #368 of 1166

Everr: So glad you love your new job! It's probably fun to do something new - and especially to know that you get to leave after summer is over. :-)  M always leaves me alone more when she has others to play with. Playdates now def make things easier for me, whereas when they were younger, it was just me breaking up fights over sharing the entire time. 


Courtney: I'm glad your friend was able to help! Must have been a crazy mess! Fun idea though! RE: The breast milk. I do know that you can fedex milk. But I need to check prices. I saw one quick post about someone who spent $200 between the cooler, dry ice and shipping. If it's that much, then no way! But if it's only like $50, I'd totally pay!  :-) 


It's raining here! So random bc this weekend was gorgeous and warm. Spent a lot of time outside. We went on a nice urban hike yesterday. Our town has hundreds of tiny pathways that go between roads - often hidden and rustic and letting you peek into tons of backyards. Some are stairs, some are not. Tons of them seem to go up very steep hills! So our route took us pretty far up and stopped at 2 parks that we haven't been to since we used to go on these hikes when M was a tiny baby. We have a map of the paths and used to do this every weekend when M was a few months old. Can't remember the last time we went. I had to bribe M to stay in the hiking backpack the entire time w/a lollypop. LOL.   Anyway, it felt really good!

post #369 of 1166

Everr: so glad your new job is fun and you like it! Woot Woot!


Cindy: Those hidden trails sound cool!


AFU: We have begun our solo gig. It's just the girls and me until June 28th. Wish me luck! My babysitter isn't going to work out after all. She is on vacation and then got accepted to this naval academy camp. Great for her and all that but I'm bummed not to have any kind of break for this whole month. So wish we had family near by. I have one friend who has offered to take F from time to time but honestly I don't really like how she parents so I'm not comfortable with that. Spanking, CIO, the whole works. She brought up spanking the other day actually so she may revoke her offer after she has heard what I had to say about it. It's not something I can smile and nod about. I told her that we don't spank at all and believe that it doesn't teach children to behave well it just makes them afraid. IMO, avoiding bad behavior out of fear of being hit (and I did use the word hit because that is what it is) is not the same thing as children learning to behave well out of their own will. I told her I don't want my children to grow up afraid of me. It's our job to guide them towards good behavior. Anyway- awkward conversation but it's not something I can let go if someone asks me about it. I admitted I lose my cool plenty but I have learned to walk away and start over. I hope it doesn't come to this but if the threat of spanking or god forbid the actual spanking happens in front of my kids we won't be hanging out anymore. Ugh!


On a much happier note... a local photography friend has asked me to be a part of a couple photo shoots she's been wanting to do- babywearing and breastfeeding. I'm so excited!

post #370 of 1166

Ever ... Great that you're enjoying your job!


Courtney ... I'm glad that your girls had a good time at the food fight party.  What a cool idea!


Sue ... Frustrating about the babysitter.  And NO WAY, Jose about that other mom.  I read on another thread here at MDC, one where people are going on about what they'd get flamed for by the old MDC, and someone actually posted about how they're using spanking, and it's working because now their kid is trying really hard not to hit.  WTF? Teaching that it's not okay to hit ... by HITTING?  Sigh.  I actually miss the old MDC!

post #371 of 1166

Everr - Awesome that you like the job. I think R is exactly K's opposite in terms of personality. K will happily play forever by himself, but only sometimes tolerates his sister joining in, and usually does his own thing even in groups of kids. I take him to see other kids sheerly out of a sense of parental responsibility (isn't it supposed to be good for them?) and so I can hang with their parents.


Courtney - Food fight party sounds fun. Might be an idea for when mine are older.


Sue - that sucks about the babysitter, and your friend. June 28 is a long time, isn't there any sort of drop in activity or another friend you could swap kids with for a bit? You need some kind of break.I forget how lucky I am sometimes! My husband's away for a few days, but I am blessed with a local grandma here, and all of my friends would be fine to watch K. And there's quite a bit of informal kid-swaps that happen, especially in the summer.


Cindy - I used to love those little trails in Seattle (also often had stairs and were steep).


Bad mom strategy of the week: Kids are sick, husband's gone, and when they decide to have a screaming meltdown at eachother at 7AM when I'm trying to make breakfast and coffee?  Chocolate. Giving each kid (and me) a small square of dark chocolate solves absolutely everything. I don't even feel very guilty about it.


AFM:  Thinking about what I was doing last summer, I'm suddenly overwhelmed by how BIG my kids have gotten. Lituya was barely sitting up, and now she's running everywhere, climbing rocks, and speaking in sentences. And when she takes off for the bottom of our driveway at breakneck speed yelling "Run on the Road!!!" I do wonder where my baby went so soon.  And when I stop paying attention to Katmai for a minute, I find that he's let himself outside, gotten the pruning shears, and wandered off to the top of a little hill on our property to snip down the elderberry for me, before getting involved in some imaginary game. Or he's reading words and talking about phonics rules, or balancing on logs, or explaining in detail how plants grow... 

post #372 of 1166

never feel guilty about chocolate!

post #373 of 1166

I realize our kiddos aren't really "toddlers" anymore but I read this today and found it a great reminder.




I have to say that age 3 is so hard for us. I miss the twos! But as the article talks about- engaging her in real meaningful work in the house really does help a lot.


What are you guys up to these days? Here are some of the things that have helped us...


-using a dropper to drip colored vinegar into a tray of baking soda

-washing windows with a spray bottle


-planting in the garden

-digging for worms for the compost bin

-polishing the wooden toys

-washing playsilks in a warm of warm soapy water

-washing dishes in the sink

-laying out ingredients and letting her make concoctions


I need to do it more...

post #374 of 1166

Oh I love parenting passageway! Although sometimes I feel guilty reading her words about all the things I should be doing with my kids and how I should slow down but can't because I'm just so busy. But it's a good reminder. I did the 21 days of being a more mindful parent. It was good reflective work.

I have found that giving her a cloth and a spray bottle is a fabulous distraction. Also the folding of laundry she likes that. Plant watering, helping with cooking: she loves to crack eggs and pour stuff. 

I have been reading and following along but no time to post. Thanks all for reminding me to say no less. I find I say no a lot if I am busy because it does take longer to let the kids do it. I need to let it go a little and slow down but choose when to so I'm not stressed about it. 


AFM: I went to a gender communication workshop today that was pretty awesome. We all know that men and women are different but she really had a wonderful way of highlighting the differences and putting some humour into it. I definitely took a lot home I could use with my son and my husband. The big one was eye contact. Just because a man isn't looking at me doesn't me he's not listening. Men often have to look away to focus and concentrate. I will never again tell my son to look at me when I am talking to him. I need to read some stuff on why gender matters I think. For parenting and for entering an IT workforce which is primarily male. 

post #375 of 1166

That's a great list Sue! I'll have to do the dropper one. I even bought droppers a while back but forgot about them. And I've been meaning to do the concoction mixing idea - what things do you put out for her to mix up? M always helps in the kitchen. She likes to "wash dishes". She helped me dust yesterday and keeps admiring the spot on the side of the buffet that she polished. She also has her own watering can and loves to water the potted plants - and she often trims leaves off our bushes with DH. She always asks to trim the bushes. My dad just ordered a big vertical planter for strawberries that is for her. My dad's wife is all excited for her to be involved in gardening - but she doesn't realize that she already helps with all our gardening (but we don't have all that much growing). I think I'll let her spray and clean some things. She loved washing the glass off after painting it at a children's museum. They had squirt bottles and squigees out for the kids.


What else? She picked out a broom and dust pan in her size when my mom was here and wanted to buy her a toy. So now she helps sweep up her crumbs. And she insisted we buy a piggy bank from the $1 bin at target yesterday. She kept asking for money so I finally told her she should earn some by doing chores. I haven't decided yet what that should be though. Maybe collecting eggs or feeding the cats? DH is a bit torn though on whether or not we should teach her that she should do chores bc she gets allowance for them or if she should do them bc she is part of the family and everyone does them. I didn't intend on a $$ lesson when I agreed to the piggy bank, but now I'm glad it was brought up.


Everr: Is that bus guy in the flying pics on facebook??? :-) You look awesome up there!!



post #376 of 1166

Sigh...  I look at your list Sue, and it all looks pretty wonderful, but it all looks like something that will be quickly rendered a disaster by a 17 month old! My two kids are pretty close in age, but I still find the difference challenging. What "meaningful work" can be done by both at the same time? K loves cooking with me, loves to help in the garden, etc...  L wants to do everything he does, but if I get both of them involved together she snatches the mixing spoon out of his hand, flings flour across the floor, starts ripping leaves off the cabbage plants instead of thinning the radishes (K is a little overzealous with the radishes himself - he loves them too much to let them get big), etc...

Not to complain too much. Spending all day playing on the beach and playing outside in warm sun is great for all ages, and we had a really good day.


Cindy - I'm not even sure K understands what money is! He goes to the grocery store and post office with me sometimes, but I always pay in plastic, so I don't think he has much sense of the concept.

post #377 of 1166

Everr ... I will not make a comment about the Mile High Club.  I will not.  Not happening.  Nope.  winky.gif


Sue ... Great list!  We do a lot on it already, but not the dropper one.  Cool idea ... now to find some droppers.


Nilla ... Are you moving towards IT?  Did I miss that somewhere along the line?  Gendered stuff is tricky at our house, being that DP is so butch that she gets read as a boy most often, and has so many masculine tendencies.  I find a lot of the male-ish generalizations apply to her too.  Interesting!


Helping:  E loooooooves to help and can and will whenever possible.  We don't usually have a firm time issue, so she can go at it whenever, so long as I leave enough time beforehand if I want to end up doing or going somewhere else.  She loves to help by cooking, and can pretty much put a meal together on her own, with direction and supervision.  She has mastered the sharp paring knife when it comes to thinks like bananas and melon and other softer things, which pleases her to no end. 


She often puts H's meals together.  This morning it was cutting blueberries and banana and toast strips, and mixing brown rice and squash together.   We've got a tiny garden area that is all hers, much to my control-freak-martha-stewart consternation.  A learning curve for me for sure!  I don't get her to help much with the vaccuming and cleaning, although she'd love to.  My control-freak-martha-stewart tendencies haven't relaxed enough just yet.  I do let her have her own rag and such and she follows along, which counts.  She loves to wash just about anything, from her toys to DP's motorcycle. 


She loves 'going by herself' right now, which means I send her on an errand to the neighbours (within our co-op complex) to drop off or pick something up or check the mail.  She'd love to do more of than, but not okay just yet.  She also loves to go to storytime at the library "by herself," which means that I have to stay in the main area while she runs down the hall and into the separate room and enjoys storytime by herself.  This also include running ahead and into whatever store/house/even that we're going to.  She always waits once she gets in, which is great, but this one gets my heart racing a bit.


Money:  E loves money!  We do everything with cash, so she is often the one to pay.  We'll give her the paper money and she'll give it to the clerk and get the change and receipt.  She often shops "by herself" (see above).  I help her find what we need and she does the rest.

She has a piggy bank and we give her whatever money she wants for it.  She understands when we don't have any more, and never complains.  We don't buy her things that she asks for, so she doesn't know that that's a reality for some kids.  She likes to buy her dog a treat now and then, but even with that, I sometimes say no if I don't have the 50 cents for it.  She'll ask for things sometimes, and when we say no, she'll ask why not.  We tell her that we don't have the money for it, but if she wants to ask for it for Christmas or her birthday, she can.  She can also save up any money she gets that is her own. 

The piggy bank money is for play, not considered hers.  We can use it, replace it, switch it out.  Her money is what people give her specifically, which is very rare.  There is a little old man up the block that gives her a dollar when he sees her, and she has sold a few of her things, but she always spends the money on hot chocolate or rides on the automated cow or donkey nearby.  She understands that if she wants a bigger ticket item, she'll need to put the money away and not spend it.


DP and I haven't talked about allowance formally, but I don't think we'll connect chores to money.  Interesting topic!

post #378 of 1166

Oh, the helping. Owyn loves to help, but she can get a little over-zealous with it at times. She has a little spray bottle and free access to wash rags, so she loves to wipe surfaces. She can reach the sink in the bathroom by herself, so I often find her rinsing her dishes off in the bathroom. Not so fun when there was food on her plate, though! She is into a big ice water thing right now. She has access to her cups, so I often find her getting ice out of the freezer and filling her cup in the bathroom. She also loves to help with Greta. She helps me change her diapers and helps pick up toys after her. She loves when I ask her to "watch" Greta for any length of time. Like when I go to the bathroom I'll ask her to watch her sister and make her smile if she cries. She takes this role very seriously. She also has a little broom and dustpan, so she likes to help sweep the floors too. With cooking, she loves to stir and pour things. She has attempted cracking eggs, but still needs help with that one. 


She is also able to do a lot for herself now. She gets herself dressed. She is also very stylish so she doesn't usually pick out anything too out there to wear! She likes her clothes to match, also her shoes! She brushes her hair in the mornings. She can put her shoes on most of the time. She has the bathroom procedure down-- can go, wipe, flush and wash her hands totally on her own. She can pick up after herself. Her imagination is really running wild right now too, so that keeps her pretty entertained most of the day. It's really entertaining to listen to her when she's pretend playing with her dolls, so funny to hear her play out real life events in her pretend play!


Anyone have trouble with public bathrooms? Most public bathrooms anymore have automatic flushers and they terrify Owyn. I used to be able to just cover it with my hand and she'd be fine, but lately she refuses to use them. When we're out, she just starts asking to go home if she needs to use the bathrooms. A lot of times home is an hour away when this comes up. Not sure how to remedy this. I'm afraid she's just not going to tell me she needs to go in order to avoid the scary toilets and we'll end up with accidents when we're out...

post #379 of 1166
Thread Starter 
Originally Posted by Vegan Princess View Post

Everr: Is that bus guy in the flying pics on facebook??? :-) You look awesome up there!!



Yep :)


Starling - lol!  And I won't respond to any mile high club comments.. We were only 3500 feet :P


Re Helping - R *loves* to help!  I try and let him as much as possible but sometimes I'm in a hurry and I just want it done.  Your list is great Sue!  I may have to keep some of those in mind for a rainy day :)  I find we are so busy now that we don't have a lot of down time..  R is in daycare full time, I'm now going to be working Saturdays, that just leaves Sundays and it's pretty easy to make plans and have stuff to do.  Last week I kept him home from daycare one day for a zoo day with mommy.  I'll probably do that often because otherwise I only will have 1 day a week with him.  (although I'll admit that sometimes that's enough..)


Re Money - R doesn't really have a concept of money.  He does, however, love to get a spare card for me and pretend to buy stuff with it lol!  I think it's a good idea to start introducing it and I might do that, get him to pay for little things with cash.  I did this at the zoo last week to get him to pay for our train ride, but he really wasn't into it and didn't seem to care.


Re Public Toilets - No problems here.  R actually went by himself last week!  We were in a safe public restroom so I went into the stall by myself.  He went into the one next to me and did everything he needed to on his own.  And then crawled out the bottom leaving the door locked :/  I had to get him to crawl back under to unlock the door.  


Erin - Your life is so busy right now!!  Just think though, both of them will soon be out of this toddler phase and will be awesome playmates.  My brother and I are only a year apart and we always played together growing up :)


Sue - Good luck with the solo parenting!!  I'm sure you'll do fine :)  And I totally agree with you about the spanking lady.  I will (shamefully) admit that I have spanked R.  I didn't do it because I thought it would be a good idea and a good discipline tool.  I did it because I was frustrated and felt out of options and just going through difficult stuff.  But, I haven't spanked him in a long while and I'm doing a lot better at controlling my emotions.  I think mostly it's because I am doing better emotionally so I don't have all that underlying stress with me all the time.


Nilla - Sounds like an interesting workshop.  I've been thinking about this because bus guy isn't too open about how he feels (which is common for guys I think..)  The last guy I dated was SO ridiculously open that it seems like such a huge difference.  But the last guy also ended up being kind of an ass and so far my new guy is awesome and I think his actions speak more about how he feels, so I'm ok with that :)


And, I had my second shift today, still going great!  She said there should definitely be extra shifts available for me especially in July and August so it's going to work out well :)

post #380 of 1166

Mal ... E is terrified of automatic flush toilets!  I drape a coat over it and then let her leave the stall before i let it flush.  Maybe she'd go if you draped something more substantial over it?  A special Flushproof Recieving Blanket perhaps?

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