February '09 Mamas ~ Childhood Chat :) - Page 23

[starling&diesel]

Happy anniversaries!

E is delighted with her haircut, and so I think we've avoided the outright shave for a while.  She's pleased as punch.  I did it with the dog grooming scissors and DP's wahl clippers.  Fun!

Ever ... My hackles are still up for Bus Guy.  The jury is still out on this out, and rightfully so!  Now you know that you can meet someone, date them and have a great time together.  That can happen again, if this is not your forever man.  

Where is JustKate?  I hope everything is okay.

Courtney ... I far prefer my Ergo and Beco to wrapping, especially with having another child.  Having another three, you might feel the same!  I loved wrapping with E, but am doing it less with H.  E was far more content to be "up-up" for long stretches, but H likes to get down and dirty whenever he can, so the SSC (soft-structured carrier) is better suited to his personality.

AFM: Speaking of down and dirty, we were out the door to the ER yesterday after H fell and hurt his mouth.  He was bleeding so much and screaming that I couldn't get a good look inside, so we called my sister to come watch E and started out the door to the hospital, when he finally settled enough for me to see that he'd ripped the underside of his upper lip, where it connects.  He calmed down enough that we decided not to go.  He seems none the worse for where.  E, on the other hand, was distraught.  I remembered a tip about using a dark facecloth so that the blood isn't so obvious.  Good idea!

[Vegan Princess]

Starling: Pic of her new cut that you did yourself?

[mckittre]

Everr - I hope it works out well for you guys. But I'm sure you'll do whatever is best for you and R, whatever that may be.

Starling - I saw the pic of E's hair on your blog. Cute! Glad H is OK after his mishap. L hasn't had any real injuries yet, but she's so much more daring than her brother I'm waiting for it any day.

Cindy - She may grow out of the shyness, but I don't think you can do much about it. One thing I've heard though is that it's better not call kids "shy" in their presence (like in apologizing to others when they don't want to talk), because it gives them a label and makes them think they can't ever do that social stuff. I hope she does well in preschool.

Hair:  when K had long hair (at 2 or so), people sometimes commented on it, and thought he was a girl. With short blond boy hair, no one notices at all.  But for L, the first thing people ALWAYS comment on is her bright red hair (at any length, style, etc...).  Other parents of red heads have told me that lasts pretty much forever. Kate, do you get this too?

AFM: Does anyone else have an incredibly obstinate and contrary child right now? I swear, he WILL NOT do anything that anyone else suggests, or ever join in on any group activity, no matter what.  We've been going to parent-tot swim classes lately. He's always super excited to go, and has fun doing stuff in the water. But I'm pulling my hair out arguing with him the entire time because he will always want to do anything but what all the other kids are doing (example: "Let's all kick our feet now!" leads to K crossing his legs and clenching them together). Once he comes up with his own plan that's totally different, he will happily practice kicking and swimming and even put his head under. And he's like this with everything. Is it the age, or just him? (I know I was an incredibly stubborn child, and I worry I'm getting what I deserve here).

[Thursday Girl]

I also saw the pictures of E's haircut and LOVED it. Poor H, mouth injuries do have a LOT of blood and one of my kids has had that very same injury, I just don't remember which one.  Way to go remembering the dark washcloth in the heat of the moment.

I contacted Kate on facebook, she's good but has been really busy with studying.

I've had obstinate children, but never THAT obstinate, i hope it doesn't last long.

[starling&diesel]

Glad to hear that Kate is good!

E is super, duper stubborn these days too.  Fledgling independent thinkers, right?

I'm trying to move H to one nap a day ... any one have any words of wisdom?  Nilla?  Erin? Courtney?  Everyone else?

Oh!  I have to tell you about my score!  A friend is moving to Taiwan, and she sold me her double Chariot bike trailer for $20!!!!!!  Whoot! Whoot!  Do a happy dance!  Those things sell for between $200-$400 USED! Yeehaw! 

[AKislandgirl]

Dudes, Fiona is so very stubborn. So very very stubborn!

Dh is home tomorrow! So stoked! I'm exhausted.

One nap- I'd take any nap longer then 30 minutes. It just doesn't happen around here. I will dream and hope that someday Maeve will be a napper.

[Mal85]

Owyn has her moments of being stubborn. But really, she just tunes me out and does what she wants. Drives me crazy sometimes.

Sue: Woo hoo, welcome home DH. I bet the girls will be thrilled to have him home!

Swimming lessons are still going well, she has jumped off the diving board twice now! Today she went under on her own for the first time. She was just putting her face in and her teacher would just let her go under water when she jumped off the side, but she would not go all the way under on her own. She did it today! She is loving it too and apparently cracking her teachers up the whole time. She was teaching them dance moves in the water yesterday. 

Napping... Oh man, I'd just go for any kind of consistent nap schedule! I never know what to expect from Greta. Some days she takes two longer naps, some days it's 4 short naps, or 1 long nap followed by 2 short naps... I don't complain too much though, it means her schedule is pretty flexible and she adapts well if we're out and about. Her morning nap is getting pushed back later and later though, so I really think she's going to push that to after lunch and drop that afternoon nap/s eventually. 

[Nillarilla]

Stubbornness Oh yes this is an age thing that I think can be intensified by personality. I try not to suggest anything I don't want to hear a no to. I try more guiding with hands or actions rather than words, putting stuff out to eat before she realizes she's hungry that kind of thing. She gets choices of course just not on anything I'm not prepared to give up on or need to happen a certain way or at a certain time.

Sleeping: Oh goodness if my kids could give me a full night I would be grateful. They keep waking me for something or another and then waking each other ugh! soooo tired.

Sue: So glad your husband is home for you soon. Go take a nice long break away by yourself.

Starling: Wow that is a score I sold my 4yr old single for 300 when Dee was born. Planning on selling this one for about 500.  E's haircut is cute.
 

[Nillarilla]

As an aside question How do I ask someone to stop helping? My mother is continuously doing the laundry which would be great except that she folds things that shouldn't be, it's not sorted, it's all over my coffee table and couch when I get home from work forcing me to put it away, there is never a laundry basket with dirty laundry to be found or an empty one for that matter so laundry is always piled on the ground. I don't want to look at laundry when I get home from work. I don't want to have to empty a basket to pick the dirty stuff up off the floor. She washes and folds it and yes this is nice that I do not have to do that but I think the downsides and stress of it is outweighing the benefits of it for me. GAaaaaah! Ok vent over. Hopefully I can stop stewing about it now.  

[Vegan Princess]

LOL Nilla - Maybe buy an extra laundry basket and hide it so you always have an empty one to use? ;-) Otherwise, tell her you really appreciate the effort and thoughtfulness but explain to her that you are stressed out bc you have to deal with it when you get home.

Sue: So excited your DH is coming home to you tomorrow! I agree w/Nilla - I hope you get to take some glorious time to yourself. Get a pedicure or something indulgent!

Starling: I loved the blog post. Well I love all your blog posts. But it was well said and E looks adorable as ever. I'm glad she is so thrilled with the change. And you're not bad at cutting hair!!

Cindy

[starling&diesel]

Thanks on all the lovely comments about E's hair ... she really is delighted with it!

Sue ... TODAY IS PAPA DAY!  Whoot!  Whoot!  I bet you three girls are SO EXCITED!  Fish for dinner?

Nilla ... tell her the following, with your biggest Boss Woman demeanor, and don't think too much about it before you do, or else you will think it to death.  Next time you see her, just launch into it.:  "You are so helpful, MIL, I can hardly believe what you get accomplished everyday! I cannot tell you how much we appreciate everything you do around here.  I'd love for you to do just one less thing though. I am so anal about laundry that I don't even let DH or the kids touch it.  I'm really quite weird about it.  It's my one little domestic ritual that I like to keep to myself. It stresses me out when other people do it, and I really *love* doing it myself, so would you mind if I kept that chore for myself?  Thanks!  You rock, woman!"

[Everrgreen]

Nilla - Oh that's awkward..  Have you braved telling her yet?  

Sue - I'm assuming your hubby is finally home!!  Yay :)

Mal - That's great that Owyn is loving swimming!  R starts on Thursday.  My mom took him to the pool today and he loved it!  Hopefully this will go better than soccer.

Starling - Wow, that is an awesome score!  As for the one nap a day, I remember with R I just kept pushing his morning nap later and later until it was after lunch and became an early afternoon nap (instead of the morning and late afternoon naps he was having before).

Erin - Oh dear, 3 year olds can be so stubborn.  It's frustrating.  R is also so full of attitude and it drives me nuts.  He is so sure of himself sometimes and talks to me like I'm an idiot.  Makes me nervous about how he'll be as a teenager!  

Kate - Hope you're enjoying the summer and not studying too much ;)

AFM - I've been working and slowly getting through my summer course.  I feel like the summer is slipping by and I haven't enjoyed it enough.  I've been out biking a lot but nothing super fun.  It's the Canada Day long weekend here though and tomorrow we're off to visit a friend who's moved into a new place and needs help unpacking and organizing and then Monday we're meeting up with some of my school friends for a zoo trip.  I haven't seen them all since the last exam so it'll be nice!  I also want to take R camping at some point.  Next weekend one of my best friends is getting married. Bus guy is coming as my date :)  Things are back on track with him, I made him have a 'feelings' conversation with me that went really well.  So I'm feeling pretty happy with things right now :)

[Vegan Princess]

Starling: I thought they didn't drop down to 1 nap/day until after a year old? It's all a bit fuzzy though. LOL. Good luck! 

Everr: Glad things are going well! You sound busy, but happy! 

Haha, M just ran in the room and told me she is going to eat fruit when her baby sister gets here. I wish! She also says she's going to sleep in her own room. I don't see either happening. ;-) 

We're having a nice weekend. Went into the city to meet some of DH's friends that are in town and went to the HUGE farmers market on the water. Came back home and then went to fly a kite and check out a park we don't usually go to. Then went on a little roadtrip to a steakhouse - my request. LOL. 

We're off to Indiana on Wed. thru the end of the week to visit my inlaws. My MIL sent me the weather forecast - 94 degrees. Gah. My SIL (who we will be staying with) will be 37 weeks pregnant. So I doubt we'll be doing a whole lot, other than testing out their new pool! 

Cindy

[mckittre]

Starling - that is a score! My double trailer was a gift from my dad (a Burly) and I use it all the time.  Though I must say pulling two of them uphill is getting to be quite the workout.

Cindy - stay cool! It's been many years since I've been in temperatures that hot, and if it's up to me, I'll happily keep it that way forever.

Everr - glad you're working things out with bus guy

Mal - she sounds like an awesome swimmer! I can't imagine K wanting to jump off a diving board.

Sue - hope you're enjoying having DH home again. How's it going with F's food restrictions? Seeing improvement? Finding it easier to figure out foods?

Nilla - I'm lucky my MIL is more careful with my laundry than I am (she does it occasionally).  Though I keep telling her it is utterly pointless to fold the kids clothes, since L will toss them all out of the drawer at least twice before they can be worn.

Naps: L usually goes down for her single nap at around 11 or 11:30AM, and sleeps for an hour or two.  At night, she sleeps around 8PM to 7AM (if I'm lucky, 6AM if I'm not).  It seems odd that it's skewed so early, but that's what works for her. I think K's single nap was closer to 12:30PM, but I think he also slept later in the morning. I don't recall doing anything specific to switch her, other than that I stopped letting her fall asleep in the late afternoon when it was keeping her up too late at night. I was never super regular with naps for either kid until the one-nap stage, really.  Before then, they often napped while being worn, whenever/wherever.

AFM: Finally finished the first draft of my book! Now I have the rest of the summer to panic about editing it.

[starling&diesel]

Erin ... Great news about finishing the first draft!  I just finished one too, but now I'm going back and revising like a madwoman.  I like the editing part!

Naps ... E found her own rhythm, for sure.  She was at two for a long while, then one by about 15 months, if I recall.  With H, who is so much busier than E ever was, I wanted to put him on one asap, so that we could have more of the day to be out and about.  So we did fun things to keep him awake and stayed home, so that he wouldn't fall asleep in the carrier or in the car, and now I'm putting him down around 1130-noon and he'll sleep for about two hours, if I nurse him back down after initially waking after about 45 mins.  It's been awesome!  He's ready for bed when E is (7pm), which is what I was aiming for, because I do bedtimes by myself 5 nights a week.  I really wanted him solidly on one nap a day for when/if I go back to the ambulance.  That way, dp and my mom only have to wrangle him to twice a day (nap and bedtime), instead of three time.  I nurse him down, so they'll be on their own figuring out another way.  Plus, that means E only has to be quiet for one chunk of time, even though it's about the same length over all.

Ever ... Glad to hear that thing with the Bus Guy are all good!

Sue ... How is it with DH being home?  Honeymoon?  Or more challenging?  When my stepdad went away to work (pulp mills) it was always a little tricky working him back into the routine that we'd cinched up in his absence.  I bet the girls were thrilled to see him!  Even if it was a day late!

Mal ... E loves, loves, loves the water and we go swimming about two times a week, but she refuses to put her head in.  She says she'll do it when she's five.  Which is also when she's planning to sleep in her own room.  Sounds like O is a natural wee fishy!

[AKislandgirl]

The girls and I were thrilled to get DH home. Fiona did not stop talking for at least 3 hours after picking him up. Then she crashed on the couch! LOL! Maeve was all smiles and cuddles. It was pretty cute. Fiona used to wait a couple of hours to go to him when she was a baby but Maeve had no hesitation. We had a nice weekend together although yes there is a bit of "reentry" as we call it. Sort of a, "what the hell are you doing, this has been working fine this way" sort of thing and, "no you don't have a right to annoyed by the clutter on the dining room table". Overall great to have him home of course but that is how it always goes for us. 

We have been doing well with Fiona's food and seeing improvements. Then the other day when DH didn't come home the day I though he was we got take out. Technically of course the food I got her was fine for her but there is lots of contamination. SHe has a rash on her cheek and has been sleeping poorly. So there is the proof I needed that I can't cheat. Vacation should be interesting. Living here one of the things we really forward to is going out to eat when we are down south. I think Fiona will be hanging out with the grandparents and cousins while we eat out.

We have been talking up the "Nu nu fairy" around here. She is going to come in a few days... wish me luck! I'm actually really excited to wean her. I feel like she's ready now and 3 and a half years is a pretty good stretch! We have a few little things to give her over several days and then a beautiful waldorf doll for the grand finale! She's adorable and I want one too! :)

Hope you are all well- got to run and get us all dressed and out the door to our little music group.

[Nillarilla]

Cindy enjoy the heat. It's cool and rainy here.

Sue glad to hear your hubby is home and you are finding a rhythm. Yes trips are a little difficult but perhaps you can find a dedicated gf cafe or some such thing to take her too. When we were in Victoria we found lots of places that were safe to eat which was awesome. Although we have less limitations than you do. We do simple if all else fails. For example we got steamed crab as a treat because it was still in the shell and no chance of contamination. I pack a rubbermaid full of food so I always have something to substitute when we are on trips like rice pasta etc. Good luck with the Nu Nu fairy.

Anyone have any suggestions for kids that are just 'beyond' and how to manage them? Like the crying, screaming, thrashing repeatedly saying the same thing over and over, unable to listen kind of 'beyond'? I find that this is when I have no tools in the parenting kit and resort to raising my voice and taking privileges away. I need some more arsenal here.

[starling&diesel]

Nilla ... 

[Everrgreen]

Nilla - I long while ago I taught R what it means to be 'frustrated', so now if he's freaking out, I'll get down on his level and ask him if he is frustrated and if he needs a hug.  Sometimes I have to ask a couple times, sometimes I will hold him and ask gently in his ear.  But almost always he stops immediately and says "yes I'm frustrated, I need a hug".  I'll hold him for a minute, maybe explain why we can't do whatever he was upset about or try and distract him/offer things we can do instead. This seems so simple so I'm not sure why it works so well for him.  

Other times I tell him that he's acting like a tired cranky boy and that means he must need to go to bed.  Threatening with bed time works when the other doesn't.  It depends on the situation which method I use..

[starling&diesel]

Re: "Frustrated."

E told me that her imaginary friend was making waffles.

I didn't respond fast enough, so she told me again, this time louder.

As I was just about to say something, E hollered at me, "WHY AREN'T YOU TALKING TO ME?  I SAAAAAAID,  ZAZA IS MAKING WAFFLES!"

To which I said in a very clipped tone, "Ouch, that hurt my ears.  I was just about to say something, but then you yelled at me."

E had this to say, "Well, mama, I am a superhero, and when superheros get frustrated they need to yell.  It helps them fly.  Didn't you know that?"

Sigh.