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February '09 Mamas ~ Childhood Chat :) - Page 27

post #521 of 1166

Kate - Great to hear from you, and congrats on finishing the exam. I think setting it aside for a couple months is probably a good thing - come back with a fresh perspective on what you want to do. I hope the speech therapy works out for Aubs. That must be so frustrating for her. Even Lituya gets annoyed when we don't understand her, and she's only 19 months.


Starling - Yeah, my squishy second baby is running, climbing, and talking in sentences. But no way I'm having another! I've just figured that next spring, when we're planning a 3 month-ish expedition, we might just be able to do it with K walking, L on my back, husband with most of the stuff, and me with a few dangling bags and a fanny pack. Nowhere to put anyone else.  :)  Really, we're quite happy as a family of 4. Now that I've gotten over the little bit of sadness at never making another brand-new person, I realize I don't have any desire for another actual child. I like that mine are close together in age also.


Everr - Have fun camping.


Cindy - The only Rose I know is a wonderful woman who works as the postmistress here, and is one of the kindest people I know. So I have only good feelings for the name.


Now I really should also be editing. 

post #522 of 1166

I love the name Rose! And Althea- when I was pregnant with Fiona my brother "gave" me that name. As in - he loved it but didn't end up using it with either of his girls so thought I should! LOL! I think Althea Rose would be beautiful. 


DH is gone for the week. Last trip for the season! Thank god- I'm ready to have him around. We've had lots of talks lately about keeping our sanity and working on our relationship. It needs work. In an odd way I think part of what will help is me getting out without the kids. Once he's back I'm going to do yoga 2 days a week and take an hour or so each weekend to do something alone. With nobody needing me. Right now I'm picturing meeting a friend at the coffee shop with my knitting. The other thing weare planning is getting a sitter for F once a month and going on a date (with Maeve, LOL!). I'm not good at leaving my babies with non-family members so she'll come along for now. I'm also working on an earlier bed time for he girls. Maeve has a hard time staying asleep until I'm in bed though.  A little time in the evening s to just hang out will be good for us.


I've got a referral to the occupational therapist lined up and left her a message yesterday. Hoping we can get in with her sooner rather then later. 


Hoping you are all well! So glad to hear from you Kate! Opening your own practice sounds exciting! Good luck with your decision.

post #523 of 1166

Should I be worried about this? Fiona has been peeing so much lately. In the last week its like she has to go all the time- no real increase in lyquid, she has always been a big water drinker. Last night I had to take her in the middle of the night for the first time of her life and the other night she had to get out of the tub 3 times to pee! (probably in there about an hour- the girl loves a long soak). Earlier this summer we had her tested for a UTI because she complained of it hurting when she peed. Her vulva was red and irritated- this happens quite a bit. They thought yeast but the yeast cream did not clear anything up. We went back to just using diaper cream and things got better. She is not complaining of pain now and she pees a fair amount each time. Ugh- one more thing to add to my list of worries about this girl. How is diabetes tested for? I know that sudden increase in urine can be a sign.

post #524 of 1166

I really don't know Sue - but diabetes def. popped into my mind. I think w/a UTI you feel like you need to go often but there isn't a lot of urine? I hope it's nothing!

post #525 of 1166

Sue - Has she been eating a lot of fruit or berries lately? I know K has with all of them ripe here right now, and it makes him have to pee ALL the time.

post #526 of 1166

Sue, we're really on the same page.  I was sitting here thinking about giving DH some sort of ultimatum when he gets home today, and decided to come here instead. We need lots of work on our relationship right now.  I don't know what to do, specifically, because when it comes down to it I think he's just become really self-absorbed.  And it feels like the more I try to improve my behavior in the relationship, the worse it gets.  I don't think he would do counseling.  Bleh.  For example: this morning Malley was up at 6:00, so I took her downstairs and we fell back asleep on the couch.  Aubs wakes him up at 7:00, and he sends her downstairs to me.  Apparently I wasn't awake, so she went back up and got back in bed with him.  So he gets up and gets a shower, and they come down...then he's all bitchy with me because he didn't get to sleep in on the weekend. Yeah, "all bitchy" is pretty much the only way to describe it.  He makes his breakfast, finishes making coffee that I started, and then sits on the couch looking at his phone until he decides to go play.   So of course I tell him what I think--that he's selfish and thoughtless, etc.  That it would be nice for him to offer to keep an eye on both girls so that I can use the toilet alone, or take a shower, or whatever. I'm so sick of it.  He asked if I would have "a plan" for the day when he got back and I told him that he ought to be thinking about whether we'll be here when he gets back. Which is one of the things I need to work on....


Anyway. I definitely think OT is a good option.  It seems like F is more sensory-avoiding, while Aubs is really sensory-seeking.  Same issue, opposite manifestations.  Have you looked at the book Sensational Kids?  I got it when Aubs was younger but it is more geared toward the 3 and up crowd. 


Now Aubs is melting down because we are out of paper for her to cut to bits.  Back later, hopefully in a better mood.

post #527 of 1166

Sue ... Is she also more thirsty?  That usually comes hand in hand with diabetes. Along with copious and frequent urination, dry mouth, weight loss, increased hunger and fatigue.  Hope it abates and you don't need to worry at all!  Up the probiotics and yogurt and cranberry goodness for now?  (ps. I'll come have coffee with you and bring my knitting!)


Kate: Have you reread the book?  Do you still think a lot of it applies to Aubs?


Relationships:  I hope things ease up for the mamas dealing with this.  Always a roller coaster, isn't it?  


Courtney ... Is DH there yet, speaking of Other Halves?


Again, brief.  Off to edit.  This is my "office time," which I have each morning for an hour and a half.  I get up, walk the dog, make breakfast for the kids and then DP comes down with them and I have my office time, during which I'm supposed to be writing/editing.  Better get back to it!  S'pose this could count as writing, right?  

post #528 of 1166

Relationships:  My husband (when he's around) is super helpful with the kids, watches them a lot since he works from home, does chores etc... BUT, he does not often think of helping out spontaneously. I either have to nag him (which I hate), or we have to have a system. So we often have a schedule for some of the time we're all at home, for who's responsible for the kids at which general time (I take early mornings, he takes late mornings, etc...).  For other things, we just have designated jobs (I always do laundry, he gives the kids their baths, etc..). I find this works MUCH better for both of us than just sort of expecting him to read my mind and take over when I need him to and then feeling resentful if he doesn't. We both find that having some alone time without either of the kids helps us out.

post #529 of 1166

She is eating lots of fruit and berries- hmm. Also super thirsty. Like she wanted to drink 3 glasses of water this morning. Crap, i don't know. I will call on Monday to make an appointment. If anything to ease my mind. Can't this kid catch a break?!  The dr we saw that suspected yeast (although didn't swab at all) said to keep an eye because frequent yeast infections can also be a sign of diabetes.


Relationships: I know that part of my problem is that I'm constantly taking care of the kids. All day, all night with out a single minute to myself. (especially so this summer) So when they finally fall asleep the last thing I want is to be "needed" by someone else- But our relationship has to be part of the equation too. Another thing is that I'm realizing that I need to let go of my idea of a third baby for now. Brining another child into this already rocky, stressful situation would break us. I want to remain married to my husband more then I want a third baby. Sucks to have to come to that but there you go. Maybe things will be different in a few years but for now I have to let it go which makes me sad and slightly resentful to be honest. DH would also not be interested in counseling at this point. He is making a big effort to be more calm and gentle with his approach to dealing with Fiona though. He still has a lot of work to do there but at least he is making an effort now.

post #530 of 1166

Sue diabetes would be a blood test. They could also dip her urine for a preliminary test but it's up to the doctor. I know that Dee pees frequently when she is having an allergy flareup. Perhaps F has developed a sensitivity to the berries or something else? With kids with lots of allergies it is not unusual to develop more. That is what I thought of first. I see you are corn free now? Did the peeing start after you stopped the corn? Sometimes symptoms get worse when eliminating an allergen for a while before they get better. 

Sensory issues, I think your instincts are right go with it. My kids both have sensory issues and so do I but not so much that it prevents them from living life so I've left it (not had them evaluated). I wonder though if I might have learned some coping mechanisms if I had had some OT. Makes me wonder about it for my kids. 

Edited by Nillarilla - 8/18/12 at 9:39pm
post #531 of 1166

We went out to go camping today with a bunch of friends, and had a good hike, but the driving blowing rain made everyone less intent on the camping part of it, so we all came home and had a fun impromptu potluck in the yurt with kids and adults and drying out by the stove and all our chairs and upturned buckets and good conversation... Then everyone left, I put the kids to bed, and opened my computer to an email from my husband's boss titled "Helicopter down".  I nearly had a heart attack.  Everyone's OK, but it turned out the engine completely died, just thump gone, but they were only 50 feet up from where they were planning to land, so it wasn't even much of a bump. But terrifying. And he's been flying in one for this job for hours and hours a day for weeks on end, and I didn't want him to go in the first place.


He gets to come home now, but it'll probably be a couple days.


I miss him.

post #532 of 1166

mal - that earth house sounds cool and 8 acres! While house hunting I would hope for just cosmetic stuff b/c we'd certainly never get a move in ready.



Sue- isn't that last trip for awhile always so exciting, to know that once again you'll all get to be together. Sucks about the music classes and I totally know what you mean about certain teachers. I can't stand for my little girls to be in the free baby/toddler spanish class b/c that teacher compared to my older girls spanish teach is horrible. As for the allergies, I can't even imagine, that would be so hard.



Cindy - I still LOVE Gemma aand really wanted to use Jemma (it was my consolation since Hubs wouldn't agree to Jemima) but people said having A jewel and a Jemma was too much. J/Gemma is such a sweet name and I can picture a rosy cheeked sweet girl. Rose is very nice, it's one of Juniper's middle names.



 makes me wonder if doing more "playing" is something that tends to happen more with people who aren't around them so much? As a fun way to connect. I do engage with them all day long, and do do a lot of conversational engagement with K's adventures, even if I don't actually pretend to fish in the salmonberry bushes. Also, I see the two of them playing more and more now that L is getting older.

Exactly! The people who play with my kids most are people that aren't main caregivers, I even play with other people's kids sometimes (and my own at the same time, but still rarely imagination games, unless my kids specifically ask me to participate in something).



starling- very cool about the symphony program!


Kate- we are having a problem with speech with Juniper as well. I can't understand everything she says without context and even then I'm unsure sometimes. Other people understand even less. I am going to try to get her dr to give us a referral, I tried to get one from them before but all that stupid dr would talk to me about was vaccinations, it really pissed me off, we don't go to the practice on the day he works anymore. She is also super frustrated by it and the thing is she has so much to say, she knows exactly what she is saying and can really get into a discussion about anything intelligently, if only we could understand MORE of what she was saying.  It's also nice to see you back on and your girls look so cute!!


Everr- have fun camping, I wish Hubs had been in North Carolina longer (he was here less than 24 hours) so we could have camped. when we went hiking ( 4 miles round trip up a mountain) it smelled so fabulous.


When we went up the mountain I found Hubs to be extremely attractive and impressive since he carried Juniper up the whole dang mountain and most of the way down. At times he also carried Josie (who is 6) then I would take Juniper and then he didn't like that I was holding two kids. It was so fabulous to be with my family again, all of us together, there was a peace inside me. This summer has sucked with him being out of town. Now he has gone back to Florida with the big girls and things are quiet. I'm actually enjoying just having the baby, but there are moments of wow, this doesn't feel right, and I know this whole break thing will be nice for only about 3 days.I freaking LOVE my family.

post #533 of 1166

relationships- we have had our rocky times, it's super hard to balance everything, kids, life, work, etc. Like  Erin I have found that he used to not know how to help and always figured that I had it covered, I seemed to be doing fine so why would I need help?? Now we have certain jobs that belong to one or the other of us, I always try to tell him when I need or want help and  he has realized (or we just have four kids so it's more obvious that) I need help. Being away and being with other families helps to make us realize how fond of our situation we are. But yeah, that whole constantly with kids thing can sure take it out of you.

post #534 of 1166

Erin!  SO GLAD TO HEAR THAT HE'S OKAY!  Goodness me, I have shivers as I type.  That must've been bone-chilling to read.  I'm so glad that they are all okay!

post #535 of 1166

helicopter down- holy crap what a bad way to open a conversation were everyone is fine, so glad he's okay.

post #536 of 1166

oh Erin! I'm so glad he is ok and on his way home. How terrifying. I always worry about DH when he is away on the boat.


Nilla: that is interesting about symptoms getting worse when an allergen is taken away. The timing is the same- this started right when we took the corn out. Her skin is slowly improving too so we may be on to something with the corn. ugh! She slept really well last night, thank god! The night before was a doozy with Maeve being up a million times since she is sick and Fiona up as well. I'm still recovering. 


Courtney- Hope the time goes quickly and you are all home under one roof soon! Enjoy your time with your sister!

post #537 of 1166

Erin, how terrifying! So glad he is okay and coming home to you and the kids! I can't even imagine getting an email like that...


Kate, so glad to hear from you!! The girls are so big and so pretty! I just love their red hair. 


Sue, the peeing... It's something that I would keep an eye on, but not really worry about unless it's paired with other symptoms or going on for an extended period of time. 


Relationships, oh they are so fun to work on aren't they?! I've been very patient with DH the last couple of months. I know work has been very stressful for him and he is really exhausted. But he is getting on my nerves. He is working all the time and not at all present when he is home. Today, he had to work a full day of overtime, but didn't need to go in until 9. So, asked if he could get up with me and help get the girls ready for church so I wasn't totally on my own there. Nope, he did nothing. I went to take a shower and came up to find him sitting in front of the computer with a sandwich. I had asked him to start a bath for the girls and I would get breakfast ready after my shower. So, I got pissed off and practically threw Greta's breakfast at him and told him to feed her if nothing else. And that if he forgot to take out the trash one more time I would scream. At him. Over the phone.


I know a lot of this isn't his fault, it's just bad timing. I just started back at work. The beginning of the school year is just crazy busy for me. Owyn is starting school this week and I've been on my own trying to get everything ready for that. She is also melting down all over the place. I'm trying not to play into it. I know she has a lot happening. We took a big trip and I went straight back to work when we got home. She is starting school and dance class, that I'm sure is causing her to be anxious. But it is manifesting as her being hateful and mean to everyone around her. She has been very trying, very argumentative. And she's just never like this, I don't know how to respond. I think going to school is going to be very good for her, especially since I know and love the school so much. I know her teachers and they are exactly what she needs right now.

post #538 of 1166
Thread Starter 

Erin - Gah!  What a bad way to start an email.  I'm so glad he's ok.  


As for relationship issues, mine are a whole other department lol!  Being alone sucks.  But I also wouldn't want to be in a relationship with someone who didn't pull their weight and help with family responsibilities.  I guess I'm a bit bitter about the whole thing so maybe I shouldn't even chime in here..  But I see these couples where the woman puts up with so much crap (mostly laziness) just because she's in love.  I think too many men get babied by their mothers and expect their wife to continue to take care of them.  I'm very cautious about 'falling in love' because I know those hormones can really make a person put up with a lot more than they normally would.  We'll see what happens.  Hopefully I can find a guy worth falling in love :P  


We had fun camping this weekend!  I wish I'd taken an extra day off work, the trip was so quick.  Maybe next year we can go for longer.  R had a blast!  I'm probably going to keep him home Thursday to do something fun.  There's a nature park nearby that is full of caves so we may do that :)

post #539 of 1166

glad you had fun camping.


as for the in love thing, sometimes I think My hubs being in love with me makes him put up with more than he should, but sometimes it's opposite, we sort of balance each other out. (I'm the lazier one though)

post #540 of 1166

Erin, geez, heck of a way to open an email!  So glad everything is alright. When stuff like that happens it makes the little relationship stuff seem unimportant. I definitely have the problem of expecting DH to read my mind.  Or at least notice that I could use some help.  The problem is me--I wait until I'm pissed to ask for help, and then it comes across really bitchy.  Hmm.


Ever, ITA that too many men get babied by their mamas and then don't have reasonable expectations about contributing to a household.  Geez I'm going to strangle Aubs.  Back later....

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