February '09 Mamas ~ Childhood Chat :) - Page 31

[Thursday Girl]

Erin, that's impressive (if annoying) I found myself questioming if he was in my 6 year olds DDC even though I KNOW he isn't.

I'm super mad at my husband or maybe at life. I had to try on a bridesmaids dress and the 12 was too small and I needed a 14, i didn't even try it on since I was going to order a size smaller anyway. Then, of course it's not new, we're broke and I'm sick of it and then we tried to sell my old van, they offered us $200.00 and then I started yelling at hubs and asking him why he doesn't do something to make things better for our family. That I'm going to go to school so we make more money and I'm going to use a loan to get me a car and he hasn't done anything and it was just really mean and nasty and had me wondering "are we even going to make it to our ten year anniversary b/c I am so sick of the S.O.S. and I  don't want to live like this anymore and I have so much anger at him for insisting on running his own company, being gone ALL the time and still being broke. and I just want it to be over with already. ..not my marriage the situation but then sometimes I hate him so much for how things are

[AKislandgirl]

Erin- have to laugh at L's cries for the nipple! :) And K is right- the English language doesn't always make sense! I think this is one of those "awesome skill to have but difficult to parent" situations! Totally want to see the documentary! 

Starling: Just read your blog post. Good luck heading back to work. It is awesome that you have your mom one day a week. i like what you said about slowing down and saying no to fun things. We need to do that to. Not because of our work situation but I think it is easy to over fill our days and there is a lot to be said for having a day at home. There are cookies to be baked after all!

Courtney: Hugs Mama! I have honestly thought so many times in the past year "are we going to make it?" We are on the up swing now and really working hard at it! it sounds like you guys are in a pretty tough situation. Is there any middle ground? Work for someone else while he tries to get his own business off the ground? 

Cindy: Thinking of you Mama! Soon!

Fiona had her first OT session on Tuesday. (after the initial assesment). It went really well and she loved it. She's doing a music program that is digitally altered so there are highs and lows and different decibals and what not. (Sorry, not versed in the technical language!) She wears special headphones that allow her to hear the music but also us and any other sounds in the room. It is supposed to help her learn to be ok with different levels of sounds while also helping her learn to filter things out to hear what is important. She also taught me how to do a brushing technique- brush her arms and back and then apply pressure to her joints. F really likes it but won't always let me do it. They did some other stuff too- spent an hour there. She asked all week- "How many sleeps till we go back to Amy's?" I'm glad she loves it.

The next day we went to a program at the local wildlife refuge. I took a deep breath when we walked in because it was PACKED! They also had a parachute tunnel thing set up which had the kids amped up. Then the project they did was turned into a sword by tons of the kids so they were running around hacking at each other! All of this normally sends her into a panic and freaks her out. She backed away from the parachute on her own to come stand by me when the kids all started shrieking in there. Then she sat and colored the extra coloring sheets while the mayhem went on around her. She stayed calm! Then we got home and I did the brushing technique on her. She continued to be calm and happy! We baked together and really just had the best day we've had in a long time! DH picked her up after work and took her to the brewery. She ate her snack, played with her shleich animals and let DH chat with friends. I am just so excited about this and so happy that we can take her once a week. :)

[Thursday Girl]

that's awesome that she did so good. and yeah for techniques.

and after my tyraid at him (and for the first time in almost ten years I told him to sleep on the couch and he did and then I was like "why didn't you sleep in bed?" )we talked today and we are good. He pretty much knew that I was just upset about stuff, he said he could tell by my face when they offered us $200.00 for the van. I have, as usual, turned that energy and upset at life into improving our life and the living room is nor reorganized and I really like how it's going to be once all the decluttering boxes of stuff are sold at the garage sale.

Erin- I am reading your book right now, it's my activity while Coraline nurses.

and cindy, man I should really activate my facebook so I can facebook stalk you, but I really don't want to, so someone is going to have to post when she has her baby and a picture would be nice too ;)

[Vegan Princess]

Haha Courtney! I'll post on here too, i'm sure. :-) I'm sorry you are having such frustration but I'm glad you and your DH are cool again.

Sue: Glad the therapy is not only fun but helping already! That is so awesome!!

Everr: Thinking of you and hoping things are going ok with school. I know you will do awesome again this semester!

AFM: 39 weeks today! I had contractions coming every 10 minutes last night. I noticed their regularity at around 3am and of course couldn't sleep after that. They weren't painful at all though. I got up around 6ish and had breakfast and they were still coming. Usually my contractions from the night are gone by morning. kept DH home from work and went back to bed around 7...and they went away! Annoying. Midwife thinks they'll be back tonight, stronger. We'll see. I bet they will but I'm not so sure they will lead to active labor tonight either. 

[starling&diesel]

Cindy, Cindy, Cindy!  So soon!  I cannot WAIT to 'meet' your little one!  Easy labour vibes to you, when the time is right.  

Courtney ... That's a rough rollercoaster ride you and hubs went on.  Down, down, down, then up!  I'm glad to hear that things are feeling better right now.  

Erin ... E is frustrated about a couple of the rules, but mostly she goes along with whatever I say about it.  She's particularly miffed about the 'g' (guh) versus 'g' (juh).  She's delighted about what 'oo' sounds like.  That's one of her favourites.  And 'sh'.  Someone posted a good chart over on the homeschool forum.  I'll see if I can link it for you.  I want to see the movie too!

Sue ... I am so pleased that F is enjoying her OT!  That is just awesome.  And I'm glad that you and DH are in a good place these days.

Mal ... O's school is SO LUCK TO HAVE YOU!  House news?

Nilla?  How are you?

JustKate?  You?

Everr ... Tell us more about this new date?  Did you get together yet?  

AFM:  SO SAD about going back to work.  We could probably live on DP's income, but we'd just scrape by.  Not sure that we're prepared to do that just yet.  I'm scared about screwing up at work, being that I've been gone for 15 months and haven't been offered any kind of "back to work" support.  Just, "Here are the keys and your radio, off you go!"  

SLOWING DOWN:  Like I said on the blog, we need to do this.  There are just so many cool things to do!  But I know that we have to take it down a notch.  Especially considering E's personality.  She's exactly like me; loves being social and getting out and doing things, but ABSOLUTELY NEEDS down time and quiet to recharge.   This is a downside of co-op living ... I know she just wants to be outside by herself, but that never happens.  There are always other kids in the play area.  I just wish that we had a backyard.    We still talk about moving, probably every single day.  DP's restaurant is opening new locations in Ottawa, Winnipeg and Halifax, and it'd be so much cheaper to live in any of those places.  But we have such a strong community here, it'd be hard to leave.  Saturday, for example, we have music class, a birthday party, and then there is a festival celebrating the moon at one of the ravines nearby.  So we won't be going to the festival, which sucks.  But way too much to pack into one day.  I'm still considering skipping the BD party, even though it's for one of the children of my closest mama friend.  I know we do best when we do one activity a day, and sometimes none at all.  

THIS AGE IS DRIVING ME A BIT MENTAL:  I've decided that 3.5-4yrs is not my *favourite* age.  I find that E gets what she's supposed to do/not do, but is testing the limits for the sake of a reaction and to see how far she can go.  She's also nearly a year younger than most of her friends, and so her 'behaviours' stick out more because they are that much more able to control their impulses.  She's so verbal that she can verbally joust any adult, and I'm strugging to not pull out the old adages of my parents:  "If you do ____, then you won't get ____!"  I sound like a *itch.  I don't like it.  E is happy and thriving and carrying on, but DP and I are trying to figure out how NOT to turn into our parents and how NOT to parent with threats of taking away fun stuff and how to encourage E to want to make the right choices intrinsically.  I see that she's struggling with the nuances of social rules and expectations, especially around giving people space and knowing when the 'game' is over, in whatever context.  

DP and I have been talking about the person that E is in the world ... and we realize that she is very anxious, and can get consumed by her own thoughts and imagination, to the point where she is paralyzed by fears or worries.  She has several behaviours that make me wonder about future OCD, although I am not at all considering labelling her at this point.  Handwashing, for one.  She's regressed at bedtime lately, and cannot fall asleep without one of us in the room.  For a few nights, we were trying to leave as per usual, but she became so upset.  We decided to stay with her, because we have never let her CIO, and I don't think her being 3.5yrs old is any reason to start.  But it's hard to maintain boundaries and such when we're appearing to 'let' her 'get away with it' ... and I tell you, there is a lot of social support for AP'ing babies, but when you're "still" AP'ing your older children, let the eye rolling begin!  We are very firm on three aspects of life and are not going to 'let her get away with' anything that harms herself, harms others or is unkind.  

We're totally good with the 'harms others' and 'unkind' one and so E is very considerate and gentle and polite and thoughtful, for the most part.  The one I wonder about is 'harming herself.'  We want to make sure that we're supporting her to become stronger and more confident, and I find myself wondering if we're doing the opposite, sometimes.  Does that make sense?  We downplay her worries and fears as much as we can, but still ... I just hope that we're helping her to become more resilient, and not less.

Anyway.  There's the novel.  Something for you all to read while we're waiting to hear from CIndy!

Oh!  And I am TRYING to sell our X-Trail so that we can buy a VW van so that we can toodle from festival to festival and not have to set up camp at each one!  Let's see if I can pull it off!

[mckittre]

Cindy - I hope it's soon now.  Exciting!  And I suppose your body's getting ready either way, whenever the big day comes.

Courtney - Glad you guys are doing better. I wish I was so constructive as to always turn my upsets into something like room reorganization (rather than, say, eating chocolate).  And I hope you like the book.  My publisher has finally started reading my next one, and likes it so far.  Crossing my fingers the editors will think so too.

Sue - Glad the OT is helping F so much. That seems amazingly quick results, I'd be super excited about it too.

Starling - I hope work goes OK.  Hopefully, you'll settle back into the rhythm soon. And if not, I hope you figure out a way not to need that $. 

I wonder how much E having older friends colors your frustrations? I say that because most of K's (really my friends' kids) are younger by 4-6 months, and I have somewhat the opposite sense of the age. On the one hand I have L being clingy and difficult, then I see one of K's little friends have a melt down tantrum, and I turn and look at K and he seems positively mature! Of course, we have lots of trouble with asking for things in a nice voice, not screaming or whining if you don't get something immediately, and dealing with little sister intrusions in a gentle fashion, rather than bodily yanking her away by the hair. Probably didn't help that K launched into a lengthy argument about how "babies should never be allowed inside because they always do the wrong thing, so we should put L outside and never let her come in" and we all just laughed at him. K isn't obsessive, but can be very sensitive compared to other kids I know, freaked out by any rough play, and bursting into tears when he thinks he's done something wrong unintentionally (like picking the wrong berry)

Oh, and I'd love to see your phonics chart if you send me a link.

AFM: I'm curious to see the movie too, I'll let you know when I know. 

K's not actually reading, as in reading books, or even more than a word or two at a time, but simply loves phonics for his own inscrutable reasons. He spends lots of time writing or typing nonsense words like "saodirek", stopping after each letter to slowly sound out the resulting creation. To him, I think words that break phonics rules ruin a lot of the fun in sounding out words - it's more a code/game than a search for meaning.

Harvested a 7 pound cabbage today. I'm curious to see how long before things freeze, and how much of the year we can eat out of the garden (for veggies, we buy other stuff).

[Nillarilla]

Wow finally finished catching up

Cindy waiting for babe to appear like everyone else. I'm a little baby hungry these days but then I do something like yesterday where I take my two 'older' kids to the movies and realize that if we have another that's over again for at least 2.5yrs or I have to find a sitter and it gets a whole lot more expensive. Sigh.... so torn so I will live vicariously through you.

Starling I get you about the worrying about screwing up at work. I was off at my IT job for 4 months and then came back to dialysis and was terrified I was going to spray blood all over someone. I didn't do that but I did forget a few things that's for sure. Since there are a bunch of newbies on the job right now I am often the most senior there and so they are looking to me for support and guidance and I am just keeping my head above water ugh!

Sue so glad to hear about Fiona's experience with OT. Dee doesn't like crowds or loud places and sometimes can't filter stimulation. If I hold her she is fine so she is asking to be picked up alot which can be difficult since she is now so big. But I realize she needs the connection. I'm trying to find an alternative to always picking her up. I also took her out of her dance class she was crying and terrified and refusing to go in and just putting herself into a tizzy over it. She loves preschool and goes there happily without a parent even got on the bus which was frightening for her but dance is a different story. I was trying to bribe her to go and then I realized it was me wanting it not her so we dropped it. Like everyone is saying need to slow down and 'do' less.

Erin can't wait to see the film. I can't believe K (and E) is frustrated over the same phonics that my 6yr old is. With my ds if it comes from me he doesn't believe it. I have to show him an outside source of truth. Maybe a website that goes over the phonics and is self correcting so you don't have to be involved?

Courtney glad things are ironing out with your hubby. We are struggling financially right now because of my school and I have been frustrated with my dh because he has not gotten a raise in several years but he wouldn't ask his boss because the organization was not doing well. Now that things are turning for the org (because of him) his boss has offered him one and told him to put together what he wants. So it's working out, just not fast enough for my impatient soul.

Everr hope that school and everything else is well for you.

AFM just school and work and no time for anything else. Really hoping I get a scholarship this month since it's the month they announce. Then I can work less which means my head might not feel like it's exploding. I'm still on the fitness kick mostly for stress reduction but the body changes are a lovely benefit. Wish I could find stress reduction in cleaning my house ugh soooo dirty.

[starling&diesel]

Nilla ... I hear you on being the senior one at work! On my first day back, I could be paired with someone with one day of seniority. God help us! I need to get back on the fitness kick too ... For my mental health as much as my physical health. Fingers crossed for a scholarship!

[Nillarilla]

ooooh just saw on fb Cindy had her babe last night.

[Everrgreen]

Cindy - Congrats again!!  She is absolutely precious!  Can't wait to hear about the birth :)  What does M think??

Nilla - I'm right there with you with school and work and nothing else.  It's exhausting and I feel like R is a bit neglected.  Although we've had some one on one time last night and tonight so we watched movies and hung out :)

Erin - Wow, K's understanding of letters and phonics is so impressive!  I love the things/questions that 3 year olds come up with.  R has some weird dilemmas about things some days, it's funny though!

Starling - I'm sure you will do fine back at work.  I'm sorry it's not your choice to go back but I'm sure it will all work out.  And if you ever end up in Ottawa we will have to meet up!  It's only a few hours from here :)  I also agree with you about this age.  There are definitely parts of it I love, but I would not say it's my favourite all the time!  Lots of challenges for sure.. Attitude is a big one, I have one sassy kid on my hands here.  As for your bedtime dilemma, with R he doesn't have a choice "it's bedtime, I need to do school work in the kitchen, I'll leave the hall light on and the door open, if you are being loud I will shut the door, if you leave the room I will shut the door"  (he really doesn't want the door shut).  So he actually listens to that, and I feel it's a natural consequence.  It also helps that he's not napping anymore so he's usually exhausted anyway.

Courtney - I'm sorry about the money and home stress.  It is a frustrating situation.  I hope you can get some breaks soon. Hugs!

AK - That's great that F is loving the OT!  R does pretty well in busy crazy settings.  He can be a bit slow to join but mostly he's pretty social.

Mal - Your ideas for your school sound awesome!  They are lucky to have you and I have no doubt you can do some great things there :)

AFM - Time is flying by crazy fast.  I can't believe September is just about over.  I'm in constant school mode it seems.  And still working 1-2 short shifts a week, which is nice for the extra cash but it is a bit stressful.  I have one week left until my reading week though so that's good.  So I met that guy last weekend and there's no potential there, he's a nice enough guy but we just don't fit together.  BUT, I've recently started chatting with the very first guy I dated (after my ex) way back in early 2011.  I'm sure I talked about him here at the time.  So we reconnected online and sent some emails in the summer.  He works near where I go to school so we met for lunch a couple weeks ago.  Then we emailed some more and met again this past week.  I really like him...  I'm not sure what will come of it.  Time will tell I guess :P  He's away for work for 3 weeks but said he wanted to meet up again when he gets back.

Forgot to mention - I gave R his first haircut :)  Just a bit of a trim, the curls make it easy to do myself :P  I trimmed all the back to his lower neck but it all curls up, and then I trimmed the sides around his ears.  There's pics on fb :)

Edited by Everrgreen - 9/29/12 at 6:27pm

[starling&diesel]

Ever ... I saw the pics!  I wondered if that was a haircut!  He looks ADORABLE!

Cindy ... Happy babymoon, Mama!  I cannot wait to hear all about the birth!  At home!  In the tub!  You ROCK!

[mckittre]

Cindy - congratulations!  I saw the pic on FB, and she's beautiful.

[Mal85]

Cindy, can't wait to hear from you and get the scoop about the birth. She looks just beautiful and healthy! I am just so happy for you and your family. You have worked SO hard to bring Miss Aria into the world and now the day has come!! Enjoy every single moment with her right now, mama. (and I LOVE the name!!)

Starling, it has to be so hard to go back to work. How lucky to have had this much time with the little ones though! I know that probably isn't very comforting at the moment, but you really are so fortunate. Going back when Greta was only 2 months old was so hard. I'm sure it will take a minute to get back into the routine, but you are a rock star. I know you'll start kicking ass at work in no time.

Nilla, I don't know how you do it! With work and school and the kids... I'd be a mess for sure! And baby fever?! You are nuts, lady! I work part time and just have the two girls, I cannot imagine adding another into the mix!!

AFU: Yesterday we took the girls to the Renaissance Festival... and I FORGOT my camera! I was so bummed! But we still had a fantastic time. Owyn has been obsessed with ribbon dancers because of some movie she's obsessed with right now. We found a ribbon dancer there and she was ecstatic. Of course she had to have it. She got it out while we were watching a pirate band perform and was dancing and twirling it around, I was impressed she really figured out how to use it correctly! She also got to ride on a real, live elephant. That just made her day. We saved it for the end of the day and she was talking about it all. day. long. She was beyond excited by the time we finally made it to the elephant. She also met a "king and queen", who told she was the most beautiful little girl they'd seen all day. She looked like she was meeting real celebrities she was so stunned when they talked to her. We watched some jousting and just had a really wonderful day. The weather was perfect, the girls were both in wonderful moods. Greta just people-watched all day and never made a fuss. I had my tarot cards read, which I'd never done before but have always wanted to. We will definitely be going back next year.

After our big day, the girls went to spend the night with my ILs while DH and I got out with some friends to celebrate his birthday. It's not for a couple more weeks, but we had friends in from out of town, so we took the opportunity to celebrate with them. I feel like we showed our age. I don't even know if we made it until midnight before we were passing out on the couch. Oh well, we had fun while we could and enjoyed a full night's sleep!

[Vegan Princess]

Don't have long to type. Makenna did awesome at the birth! She baked and decorated a b-day cake with the doula for a lot of it. She loved helping set up the tub and get things ready. The last hour of labor was super intense. I had been laughing and chatting between contractions before that - having a good time hanging out with all the midwives. My DD and everyone sat there near me for the entire last hour. She held my hand during contractions and ran over to watch as the baby came out. I was on my knees in the tub, hanging over the edge. She actually got in the tub with me and baby after she was out. It was super sweet. She thinks baby is so little and cute and has been doing great. My brother in law just moved to town and has spent a lot of time playing with her while DH took care of me.

Birth was good but fast and crazy intense! From bloody show to birth was 4.5 hours. But from when contractions organized into a pattern and started getting uncomfortable it was more like 3.5 hours. I was 6 cm when the midwife came to check me, right when the contractions got uncomfortable! I had thought maybe it was going to happen that day bc I had been crampy and felt soooo much pressure. I was in target doing some last minute shopping just hours before she was here. LOL. Anyway, the last hour is when the contractions came really close and hurt really bad. I was in the water but really didn't feel the relief I got last time. Last time it slowed my ctx to 5 min apart and I got a nice break while pushing. This time they were fast and furious and overwhelming. I pushed about 20 minutes. Thankfully I did not tear. I did hemmorage a bit after though! Got some herbs then a shot of pitocin and then a few doses of another drug to stop the bleeding. That kinda scared me a bit but the midwives were always calm and they still felt fine leaving me 5 hours later. I felt like I got run over bc a truck yesterday. Weak and light headed. Couldn't be alone and couldn't even go to the bathroom alone. So glad my brother in law was here! but I feel a lot better today - just the normal afterbirth pains and sore nipples.

Gotta run...

[Nillarilla]

Cindy so good to hear from you. Aria is gorgeous! That is a fast labour! So awesome that Makenna was so into it all. 

[Thursday Girl]

cindy, congrats! Aria is so pretty, and holy wow that is a fast labor! Super cute about mckenna. I hope you are getting plenty of rest and recovering nicely.

[starling&diesel]

Welcome, welcome, welcome, Miss Aria Rose!  And what a wonderful birth story!  

[AKislandgirl]

Yeah Cindy! Welcome to the world Aria Rose! What a wonderful birth story! I love that Makenna got in the tub with you! Makes me all weepy and happy thinking about it! 

Starling: This age has been really hard for us too! Woosh! Can they test and push buttons. Slowing down and doing less has actually helped quite a bit. A friend of mine wants to do a weekly play date on Fridays. I'm realizing that by the end of the week we are all wiped out! I'm going to aim for a couple of times a month instead. It's a good time of year to hunker down and start a slower weekly rhythm. I'm aiming for painting, play dough, fizzy fun, or washing dishes or playsilks or something each afternoon. Baking, Library story time, music time or similar in the mornings. Also a daily walk unless its raining sideways. I just ordered a small size broom and will have F help with a chore a day as well. Time to bundle up for our walk now- it's cold here. We even got snow this weekend! :)

[Everrgreen]

Cindy - I'm so glad to hear that things went so well!  It's always so wonderfully surreal when you finally have your baby in your arms.  And it's great that M got to be there :)  Can't wait to see more pics!

AK - Snow!  Wow..  I'm enjoying the cooler weather but not quite ready for snow.  I just like the cool crisp fall weather :)  Although this week it's supposed to be a bit warmer.

Mal - That fair sounds so fun!  And that's awesome you and your hubby got a night off.  Those are definitely needed!  I think I'm R-free next weekend.. My ex's family have offered to take him for the weekend :)

AFM - I have a head cold.. Not fun :(  I went to work this morning but I'm feeling totally worn out now.  I think I might skip class tomorrow.. I have a midterm on Wednesday and a quiz Thursday that I need to study for anyway.  And then R and I can sleep in a bit tomorrow.  

[Everrgreen]

Does anyone here have either the Leapfrog LeapPad Explorer or the VTech Innotab?  I was thinking of recommending this as a xmas gift for my mom to get for R..  I'm sort of leaning towards the Innotab but wanted to see if anyone here has used these.