February '09 Mamas ~ Childhood Chat :) - Page 32

[mckittre]

Cindy - Aria Rose is a beautiful name. I'm glad things went so well, and hope you get a chance to rest up and enjoy her.

Sue - we had the snow here also. And a couple hard freezes. I pulled my peas, have been piling kelp on the garden, and am slowly putting it to bed for the year, piece by piece.

Mal - that fair sounds like great fun! I've never had a night away from my kids yet (unless you count the night I gave birth to L). It's funny, since my MIL lives right next door. But also, it would just seem kind of odd to send them up the driveway when their beds are right here a few hundred yards away, and I'm not even sure where we'd go, or what we'd do that we can't just do once they're asleep.

Question - Do your kids do rough (wrestling style) play with other little kids? Most of the other little kids K's age (most of his agemates are boys) do, and K seems to find the whole concept rather frightening and wants nothing to do with it. I'm OK with that, mostly, but wonder if I should maybe try wrestling with him to make him more comfortable with it, and more able to relate to the other kids?

AFM - I guess we're the odd ones out in the slowing down front, and have actually been doing more activities lately. Summer is always so busy, it seems like the winding down is when regularly scheduled stuff can happen. K is going to Head Start 4 mornings a week, and on Fridays we're doing a weekly family hike day that we've opened up to other families in town, so it might end up as sort of an outdoor hiking playgroup type thing. And I'm planning to teach aikido (non-competitive Japanese martial art) an afternoon a week to whoever in town is interested. Partly this is because my SIL and one of my good friends are both have "activity coordinator" sort of jobs in town now, and I find myself drawn into joining or providing some of the activities... :) 

Left to my own devices, I have no rhythm at all, and tend to just try to bring the kids along into whatever I feel like doing that seems kid friendly, so we end up doing lots of outdoor exploration, gardening, gathering, and cooking. And they play a lot on their own, of course. I guess K gets the other types of activities from preschool, if he needs them.

We got the roof on the woodshed today! With the help of a spontaneously random adventurer from France who wandered up the driveway and stayed for dinner and is now staying in our tent in the backyard.

[Mal85]

Cindy-- So good to hear from you. I hope you are all enjoying that sweet girl and getting lots of snuggles in. Can't wait to see more pics!

Everr-- We thought about getting the LeapPad for Owyn this Christmas... until I remember I already got her a rather large dollhouse with accessories on a garage sale earlier this year. She only needs one big item for Christmas! So, we might get it for her birthday. I hadn't looked into the InnoTab. Now I'll have to compare!

Erin: We don't really slow down this time of year either. Every week is just flying by it seems. I knew things would speed up once school started, but it still seems like we just got back from vacation. That was 2 months ago, how did that happen! Between my work schedule, Owyn's school schedule and her extras (dance class once a week and Sunday school on the weekend), we don't really slow down. We try to plan an evening out of the house or having friends over about once a week, but we're taking a break this week. It's actually pretty nice having a reliable routine even if it does keep us pretty busy.

Well, I gave my classroom wishlist to the PTL president yesterday. I attached it to a rather long email wherein I just laid it all on her. All my hopes and goals for the classroom. My thoughts on how to modernize things a little. I found out recently that my class is the most expensive part-time program in town and I have to be honest, the classroom just does not measure up to that. I heard back from her and she was excited that I had so many ideas and glad to hear they have someone passionate about what they do in the classroom. She assured me the needs of my classroom wouldn't be put on the back-burner. So, I feel like I've done what I can at the moment... I have sent it out into the universe, I just have to wait and see what happens from here. I'm hoping for positive changes!

Owyn's preschool teacher pulled me aside this morning just to let me know that Owyn is finally coming out of her shell at school. I had a feeling she was being rather shy, but she is always excited to go and always has good things to say about her day so I wasn't too worried. I knew she would open up eventually and now she finally is! 

If you can believe it, Miss Greta is 11 months old today! She took two steps last week, then didn't do it again until this weekend. Sunday night she was taking 2-3 steps over and over again. But she won't do it again!

[Thursday Girl]

SNOW         BRISK WEATHER!!!

I'm jealous. It's still hot here. The kids complain it's too hot to go outside.

Mal- of course she loved it! the fair does sound great.

Erin- In your book you just got the pizza dropped to you out of the plane. I am totally loving it, the way you two decided to have kids was awesome.

wrestling- no, my kids don't wrestle, well once they did, but they do other dare devil things.

Everr, Junie has the leapster, she likes it a lot, it was before the tablet like ones ever came out. we once had a v tech game system that hooked to the tv and it broke after awhile, plus i hated the princess game.

we've been slowing down mostly because I don't have a car to drive and the kids are no longer in any activities. They are also on fall break right now, so no school for a week.  I do wish we could go to a museum or something but I'm trying to make the best of it. We've done a bunch of stuff at home already, I'd like to go on walks but honestly the kids are right it's so hot it doesn't feel nice to go walking.

[starling&diesel]

H is one year old today!  It's been bittersweet.  We went out for breakfast, and then to the beach and a quick stop at the aquarium because a certain older sister is in a foul mood today and so we decided to cut the day short and come home.  I got booked for my first shift back tomorrow, at one of the busiest stations in the province, if not THE busiest.  Throw me to the lions!  I've been going over my protocols and communications and treatment guidelines and trauma destinations like crazy and cramming notes onto my phone for quick reference.  

Wrestling ... E doesn't do that.  Not at all.  And I rather she wouldn't.  

Mal ... WAY TO GO! 

Courtney ... School break?  Already?  Do they have a shorter winter holiday or spring break then?

AFU: We're pining for privacy.  And a yard.  And peace and quiet. And a million dollars.

[Thursday Girl]

can't believe H is already 1.

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[AKislandgirl]

Fiona would freak out if another kid tried to wrestle with her! Her sister and Papa are fun to wrestle with though!

Pining for a move and a million dollars too! And a farm and a waldorfy homeschool community. Sigh!

We spent the morning in the woods with another family. We all love it. The kids splashed in puddles, played billy goats gruff, put out imaginary fires and rode dragons (fallen logs) to faraway lands. Home for lunch and then to OT for Fiona. She fell asleep the second we walked in the door. I need to ake her now so she goes to bed before midnight but I'm enjoying some tea and the peace and quiet in the house. 

[Mal85]

Happy birthday, H! I really cannot believe these babies are growing so fast!

Forgot to reply about the wrestling... Owyn is not very physical in her play. She has cousins that play-wrestle. She likes a little bit, like when it first gets started, but she quickly backs off when it gets too rough for her. I really don't think it's something that needs to be encouraged. I have nephews that do little league wrestling though, so it's something Owyn gets a little bit of exposure to. 

[Vegan Princess]

Happy birthday Hawkskey! Good luck tomorrow Starling!

[Nillarilla]

Good luck tomorrow Starling! I hate that nervy feeling the first few shifts back. I wish you an uneventful shift, boring even. Happy Birthday bouncy Hawksley!

Ever we had a leapster but it broke. No tablet here. Ds has a ds and I would say that a 4 year old could manage one and it would grow with him. I let the kids play with my Ipod though and I find that suffices and since it's mine I can take it away with no fight. Whereas if the toy is there I have a harder time setting limits. 

Wrestling we are in the minority here. My kids will have rolling, wrestling matches. They aren't allowed to be physical to hurt and if someone says 'uncle' you stop. I do believe that certain amount of physical wrestling helps them connect in a way. I know ds does at school to the amount that they allow it. They aren't allowed at preschool so Dee doesn't there but she does with her cousin. 

Sue that sounds like a lovely morning. Glad you are getting relief with OT. 

Courtney I can't imagine it being hot in October. We had snow too this am. Fall break? How many school breaks do your girls get?

[Thursday Girl]

starling- thinking of you today!

oh yeah, the ds, my older girls each have one and Junie likes to play on it.

Sue a morning in the woods sounds fabulous!

nilla- they have 5 breaks. fall break is a week long, thanksgiving holiday is 3 days. holiday break is 2 weeks long, winter break is 1 week. spring break is 1 week. It used to have me worried until i realized they get more done than public schools do and now i treasure the time with the kids, the break from having to be somewhere and the breaks from having to clean the school.

[mckittre]

Starling - Happy birth-day to you and H, and hope the first shift went well. I can't believe how fast these younger kids are growing. L will be two in January, and most people assume she's two now.

Courtney - Thanks! The pizza from the plane is one of my favorite hiking stories, because it's just what anyone who's ever been hiking daydreams of, but seems so clearly impossible.

Sue - days in the woods are so great! I think my biggest regret about sending K to preschool is not quite as much outside time as before.

Wrestling - I guess not all other kids do it, then. I will continue to follow K's lead, which is what I'd been doing. Even if it does mean he's sometimes a little scared of the other small boys.

Digital devices - we're so old-school here that all we have is laptops and a crummy old cell phone (one between the two of us) that doesn't do pictures or texts. K does like typing on the laptops, though.

AFM - Spent a couple hours picking cranberries in the rain with just K today. I don't get enough time with him alone. And I should be saying that because it's for his sake, but sadly, I think I'm really saying it for my own. Sometimes, it's just so much more restful to do something without the little one who's whining constantly to be up, down, up, down, nurse, run, fall, cry, up, nurse, sit in a puddle and cry about her wet pants, ask for the impossible, etc...  I love both my kids, but I do find 3.5 an easier age. So much more of the direction and conversation can be verbal, as opposed to constantly stopping to pick someone up, K has the attention span for me to actually do something while he either joins in or plays with my distracted verbal participation, and there's just so much less clinging. And L can talk quite well, so I think it's more about immature emotions than an actual lack of communication.

[Thursday Girl]

Erin- of course you love them both, I love all of mine, but seriously there are ages that are just easier and ages that are harder and that constantly shifts and changes. Someone once asked me if I do have a favorite and I said "yeah, but it will change in two months or in two hours depending on how they are acting and what developmental stage they are at."  yet overall they fill up my heart to bursting and I have to go kiss them all in their sleep, sometimes getting out of bed to do so.

[starling&diesel]

Phew, survived my first shift!

It involved copious amounts of vomited blood, MRSA super bugs, car crashes, clandestine meth labs, a dying teenaged boy, a heroin OD, a dying grandma, and no time at all to get a coffee.  

I also managed to avoid overtime, which is a coup!  I raced home, still in my uniform, and got to see the kids for a few minutes before we put them to bed.  That part sucks a lot.  

As for the kids, they and DP had a great day together.  H is truly a very easy-going baby!  As for E, we continue to wonder if we should be doing something or getting help with her anxiety.  Not sure what to do with that.  

I was so beat, that I went to bed with the kids at 8pm and slept very, very hard.

I do wonder if working is "worth" it ... still not sure.  It was nice to be needed in a very different way.  I did mess up a very important IV start (dying grandma), but other than that, it all came back to me.  I had a retired old fart for a partner, so neither of us were in a hurry to trip over ourselves.  He drove, which was nice.  He also stepped all over my calls, but whatever.  

Erin ... When we have one-on-one time with either child if feels so easy and special.  It does not happen often enough.  

Courtney ... That's a lot of breaks!  How wonderfully civilized and fair.

Cindy ... Thinking of you!  How is nursing going?

Nilla ... Didn't manage to be a boring shift, but it was okay!  I was sucking back the Rescue Remedy, that's for sure.

Sue ... We're heading to meet up with our Forest Nursery group today!  We love days in the forest. Children are so well-adjusted and happy when they're outside!

Everr ... I'd go for a tablet, I think.  E sometimes uses ours.  Then you can change up the apps whenever you'd like, and for a whole lot cheaper than games, I imagine?

[Vegan Princess]

Starling: Sounds like a not too bad start to back to work. I hope it keeps getting better. From your blog posts, E sounds pretty self assured and outgoing these days. What kind of anxiety issues does she have? I hope the change of you working isn't too hard on her!

As for nursing. Not quite sure yet. My milk is in and I'm taking tons of herbs/dom. Baby has been a frustration. She is SO sleepy. The other day it was 90 degrees here and she basically slept from 11;30am to 11pm. I would wake her to nurse but she'd pretty much just fall right back asleep at the boob. A couple feeds were total disasters as she just didn't even want to suck. I had gotten a hospital grade pump the day before, thank goodness. So that day, instead of pumping after feeds, I was pumping to replace some feeds! I was giving her the milk I pumped via lactaid or finger feeding and she had 9 dirty dipes so I know she was getting enough milk and that wasn't why she was sleepy. She is just sleepier than M was. And now that it cooled off yesterday she is awake more. But still not a whole lot. Anyway, I had the most amazing lactation consultant come yesterday. She has been a homebirth midwife and LC for 40 yrs. I was feeling pretty defeated the day before and she gave me a lot of hope. Worked with me for 2.5 hours and was just incredible. She truly showed me how to fix latch - baby has been chewing my nipples. It feels SO much better already. No one ever taught me this with M! Still a work in progress getting baby latched on that way but we're getting there. She also showed me ways of doing breast compressions that make my flow so much stronger and helps keep baby awake at the breast. We are starting out with the lactaid right away on my super slow flow side and not using it at all on the other side. Only doing 1 side per feed and then pumping for 15 minutes after. My breasts were so lumpy when she came and she really got me draining them, which of course helps make milk! I can pump about 2 ounces after feeds right now. I was really down about that but she said at this point I am doing really well. She estimated baby needs about 2 oz/per feed right now. So right now, with the extra milk I pump, I am only supplementing with my own milk. She is going to keep working with me. She thinks I may not need to supplement but that it will be a decision to make bc it would mean nursing more frequently and baby not sleeping as long at night, etc. But really we have to see what my supply ends up at in a couple weeks once it's no longer transitional milk and I'm no longer pumping. I will keep up the pumping as long as DH is home and then while his mom is here - but not after that. So that is about another week and a half. Oh and she lost 8 ounces but gained back an ounce and a half so far. 

Sorry for the novel. Gotta run...

[Thursday Girl]

starling- is that a typical sort of a day? Glad you got through it and the kids got through it, and honestly a nice hard sleep like that is nice every once in awhile.

Cindy- so glad you have a fabulous lactation consultant!

[Everrgreen]

Cindy - A good LC can make such a huge difference!  I am SO thankful to two that helped me when R was born.  

Starling - WOW!  That sounds sooo busy!  I'm glad you survived it and the rest of the family did well :)

Re wrestling - That wouldn't be allowed at daycare and the only kid his age he plays with is his sweet sensitive cousin who I can't imagine wrestling.  But, R LOVES to wrestle with his older cousins (who initiate it).  And also my friend's husband wrestles with him all the time and he loves that too.  He doesn't ever try and wrestle with me though, he likes to be chased but that's about it.

Re tablet toys - Well after reading the reviews I was feeling like it might not be worth the money..  Lots of complaints about expensive games and batteries being used up in a day.  But I did go buy myself a tablet.. Which I really don't need but it was such a good deal and I can get free apps for R that he'll love plus it can be charged instead of paying for batteries.  It was actually only $50 more than the Leappad so I think it's a better deal.

Re nature - It sounds like some of you get so much time out in nature!  I'm jealous!  We NEVER do.. There's just no time..  But I'm off now for a week (it's Thanksgiving in Canada this weekend) so I think I'm going to take R to a conservation area.  There's one nearby with caves.  And the leaves are all gorgeous right now so I want to get out before they all fall off :)

AND - Things are going well with my new guy :P  We will be going on a 'real' date when he is back from work (so far it's just been lunch and coffee).  He wants to take things slow because of what happened last time.. But I really have a good feeling about him.. :D

[Mal85]

Cindy-- I'm glad nursing is going as well as it is. You sound very realistic about everything. I know it was very hard for you with M, but good that you were prepared this time! I have a close friend who just gave birth a couple of weeks ago... her second son. She was never able to nurse her first. She also had a breast augmentation and always blamed that the first time around. She is pretty determined this time, but realistic. She mentioned one of her midwives told her it often isn't the breast augmentation itself that causes the issue, just the fact that the breast tissue wasn't there to begin with (which would be why she got the augmentation in the first place). So, it likely would have been an issue either way. I thought of you when she told me that. Have you heard that before?

[Vegan Princess]

Mal: I actually had quite nice boobs before my implants. I was a C cup! I was just greedy and dated this guy for 5 yrs that was in love with the playboy model look and that is what I wanted. But the LC even said I have a lot of breast tissue and she was really encouraged by that - bc if I did have tiny boobs before and then had damage, the outlook wouldn't be as good.In my case, my incision was around the nipple so it caused a lot of nerve damage. 

So nursing has still been super frustrating bc she will latch on but not suck! I got so frustrated last night and gave up on the crossover hold the LC had me doing and just nursed her lying down - and she nursed! The midwife and LC both told me she was asynclitic - that means she was inside me and came down the birth canal with her head bent over to the side. You can tell by the way her head is molded. The LC (who is also a midwife) said I could have ended up w/a c-section bc of it if she were my first baby. but the LC agreed with me when I called her this morning that is probably why she isn't suckig in the other hold. So the cranial sacral therapist/chiro is coming tomorrow to work on her. And I' nursing lying down as much as possible - its just hard to get a deep latch that way.

[mckittre]

Starling - Was that intended as a description of a hard, easy, or average shift? Because it sounds ridiculously intense to me.  Good luck!

What kind of anxiety issues does E have?

Cindy - K was asynclitic too. And had the craziest spiral conehead for quite awhile. I didn't need a c-section, but pushing with him did take 3 or 4 hours, I think. Oddly, he nursed fine. I'm glad you're having some success this time around, at least with the lying down.

Everr - exciting! keep us updated on this new guy. And have fun in the caves.  I do take my kids into nature all the time, which really is just much easier where we live (can be there in 1 min).  But it's also a deliberate training regime, if we expect them to be out on an expedition April-June!

AFM -  Friday is our weekly hike day, and we got a bunch of kids today, out exploring the roads and streams washed out by floods a few weeks ago. Impressive power in a flood like that! The road to Red Mountain (a popular recreation spot) is completely gone. Ten foot cliffs in the road bed, scoured to bedrock in some places, culverts shredded...  Impressive to see, but all of us in town are rather unhopeful that we'll ever get that road back (it's been maintained on a volunteer basis for years).

[starling&diesel]

Cindy ... I'm so glad that you have a fabulous LC!  And isn't it just that much easier having some experience from the first time?  I'm sending you milky, latchy vibes, hon!   And why, not, that is not a smiley of two emoticon faces ... it's a milky boob comforting a not-so-milky boob.  Or, my left boob comforting my right, for example.

Erin ... I saw the picture on FB.  The road looks like a wicked mess!  When we lived in the mountains a road and bridge to a hot spring washed out and almost a decade later, it still hasn't been replaced.  When the logging company has reason to go back in there, it will be.  But until then, nope.  Yay for getting outside with friends!

Everr ... New Old Guy sounds really promising!  When does he get back?  And good choice going for a tablet.

AFM:

My first shift back is typical for that station.  And I'm back there tomorrow, so will expect another day like that.  I actually love that station.  It's in a nasty part of a nasty city (Surrey, if any of you know of it) and because of that and the insane population boom over there (it's very close to Vancouver, part of the metro area, so people are moving there in droves to get away from the bizarro real estate prices here) there is NEVER a dull moment.  Seriously, I was only able to pee twice in a twelve hour shift, and that's when I hand-expressed too.  My boobs were complaining for sure!  But I'd rather be on the move and doing stuff that sitting at the station and trying to read a book while the guys watch soccer or bass fishing on TV.

E's anxiety:  I talked about my concerns with some of my mama friends who assure me that it's normal for the age, which I do think is partially true.  I really don't want to pathologize her at all, but I do want to make sure that we're on the right track to support her.  Hand-washing, for example, she is very adamant about when and how to wash them and will not be dissuaded.  It's not necessarily when they're dirty, like from playing outside, but when certain liquids get on them.  She has a ritual that she does whenever anyone goes upstairs without her, and she claims that she's allergic to people being up there without her.  There seems to be very few moments in the day when she is not Thinking Very Hard about something.  I can say that the only time she truly relaxes and is at ease is when we're reading stories or she's watching a show.  The rest of the time she seems very gripped by her thoughts.  They often interfere with her play.

But again, I wonder if this is developmentally normal?  Paired with her personality?  One of the reasons we're watching it closely is because her siblings and donor have some significant anxiety issues.

More later ... having my office hours at the moment, so need to get writing/editing/corresponding accordingly.

xoxox to you all, and especially the mamas I left out today!