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February '09 Mamas ~ Childhood Chat :) - Page 33

post #641 of 1166

Starling a suggestion for E- sensory tubs of liquids that seem to bother her or some such thing while you are reading to her or she's listening to an audio book? For my ds who is very 'inside the mind' and has anxiety issues as well as sensory issues (all undiagnosed) we suggest a lot of drawing and puzzles. I did a lot of sensory tubs when he was littler and took him places with sand and mud to play in. We did a lot of gardening, sat in leaves, just generally exposed him to things that bothered his senses in a calm way and talked him through it. He's much better now although he still hates to have certain parts of him touched at all and can't stand certain kinds of materials for clothes. 

Surrey? isn't that a little far from you? How big is the area of stations you cover?


Cindy glad you have a good LC and that at least one side is flowing freely. Wishing you milk making mojo!


Erin time with one kid is definitely a breath of fresh air. Although right now i am finding 3.5 easier than 6.5!


Mal that's great that you are so driven to make yours the go to program! You can do it!

post #642 of 1166

Cindy, congrats!  Aria is beautiful.  Can't wait for more pics.  Sounds like you have a great support team--and you're doing an awesome job.  I suspect things will go better, overall, this time around!  


Starling, congrats to you for surviving that shift!  And your first one back, no less.  Although I have to say I envy the adventure, in a way.


Ever, details about the new guy?  Or did I miss them upthread?


Grr, little screamers....

post #643 of 1166

Everr- i loved the pictures.


and Erin i am browsing through yours. facebook annoys me b/c it doesn't give me the updates for the people i want.


Starling- that is a crazy busy day. But I get the busy over not being busy thing.



had a garage sale today, made $200, that will get us a little ways in that back room. I just so want my master bedroom, i don't even care if it doesn't have the bathroom for 2 years, i just want the bedroom part.


so what's going on with everyone for halloween?? Junie has changed her mind about 50 times...and I don't feel like making anything, maybe that will come later.


Did I say it's still hot here? I am so jealous of those with crisp cool autumn weather. Near the end of the sale it was so hot and humid I felt like I was going to pass out (and maybe partially b/c I hadn't really eaten)

post #644 of 1166
Thread Starter 

Kate - I've reconnected with the guy I first dated after my ex.. Early 2011, we dated for only a month.  We both fell for each other really quick and it got too intense and then everything got messed up.  So this time we're taking things slower.  We reconnected in July and emailed a bit at the time.  He works really close to where I got to school so in September we met up for lunch, then another day we met for tea, now we've been texting and are going to go on a real date :)  I'm excited :)


Courtney - I have R's new winter coat on him in the pics!  It was chilly here today!  I understand your jealousy, I love all the changing seasons we get here :)   Hot sunny days are nice too though!

Oh, and on fb you can list people in a specific group and then just get their updates.  I have different lists for family and friends.  You can also pick people as 'close friends' and then you'll get a notification if they post anything.


Re Halloween - R has an Iron Man costume and a dinosaur costume (from last year, it still fits).  He says he's going as Iron Man and I'm sure he will.  Super Heroes are so cool right now in the daycare world :P

post #645 of 1166

Courtney: Not bad for a garage sale! The heat had to make it suck. It seems every time I have a garage sale it ends up being the hottest. day. ever. 


Halloween: Greta is going as a tie-dye teddy bear (think Grateful Dead dancing bear) and Owyn is going as a hippie. 


Everr: Things sound promising with the new guy! 


Owyn seems hellbent on torturing her sister lately. She has never had issues with jealousy until just recently. Anytime she sees Greta coming my way, she runs to me before Greta can get to me and says "She my mama first!" We've had a lot of talks about how I'm a mama to both her and Greta. She also has no tolerance for Greta trying to play with her. Which is the only thing Greta wants to do, she follows Owyn all over the house. It sucks, especially since Owyn has always just adored Greta. I'm not sure what brought on the change...

post #646 of 1166

Mal: Once M got good at crawling and getting into stuff we noticed a shift too! Still more love then jealousy but she's annoyed by her now when she never was before. She is close to walking so that ought to be interesting.


Starling: Thinking a lot about E and her anxiety. Poor thing being "Allergic" to being separated. One thing that has been helpful with Fiona is a mind jar. It's a jar with water and food coloring (we did blue) and a tube of glitter glue squirted in. Use hot water when you make it to melt the glue. And you want to use glitter glue instead of just glitter so it takes longer to settle. We shake it and take deep breathes while we watch the glitter settle back to the bottom of the jar. Might be a good tool to use when she is in those deep thinking moments. I do think its good to keep an eye on the anxiety now to give her some tools to work with. Do her bio siblings parents have any suggestions for you?


Cindy: Glad you have a great LC working with you!


AFU: Maeve is one today! F is out running errands with DH and then she and I will bake a cake. Some friends will join us for dinner tonight. I told Fiona after baking and lunch we will decorate for the party. She's thrilled! Maeve is getting some nesting bowls from us and a tiny little cup. I got a little whistle thing (bird warbler) to give F as a big sister thing. I'm sort of wondering if I'm setting myself up for trouble in the years to come! I guess we will treat it like a party favor. :)


I've been enjoying looking at birth pictures and reading the birth story today. Hard to believe a year has gone by!

post #647 of 1166
Sue: I saw your pics of maeve's birthday. Looks like she had a great first birthday! I still just cannot believe these babies are turning 1 already. Greta is next and I'm missing her as a baby already!

Owyn has her first school pictures today! I even got a little weepy getting her ready this morning. My first ever baby is so grown up! I am actually excited to see them. A parent at the school is a local photographer and she does pictures for them. So they are not your typical school pics. They have fun with them. I heard the director talking about photo ideas she got on pinterest so I am looking forward to some cute pics. And it saves me from worrying about getting professional pics for family members.

We recently took Owyn out of training pants at night and I think we have finally made it out of the woods on that front. The first week, she wet the bed almost every night. The second week she wet the bed every other night. We almost put the training pants back on. But it has been 10 days since her last accident! Yay!
post #648 of 1166

Happy first (belated) birthday Maeve!


Sibling stuff - For us, K didn't mind L at all until she started crawling and really getting into his stuff. Then they were TERRIBLE for awhile. They've been getting better and better since then as she's more capable of actually playing with him and also obeying rules herself (rather than just being a bundle of adorable destruction). Though he does still often tell us "She's doing the wrong thing! Lituya must go outside and NEVER come in this yurt!"


K has been sick with a stomach bug that's gotten half the kids in town. On the mend now I hope.


Beautiful fall weather here. Just picked the last of our highbush cranberries, and am heading to make syrup.

post #649 of 1166

Here is the link to our newborn shoot:



Ok so we finally figured out the nursing issue! She had a posterior tongue tie! We got it clipped on friday and she has been nursing normally ever since! Thank god! I am going to hug the lactation consultant that discovered it when I see her again on Wednesday!! My supply has jumped since she has been nursing normally. I got a scale to track her weight and see how much she is getting per feed. She can drink 2.5 ounces and then I can still pump 2 ounces right after. Or she just drank 1.5 ounces and I pumped 3 ounces after. So I think I might actually end up with a full milk supply this time! I am still pumping after some feeds to maximize my supply, but thankfully I am not pumping every 3 hours bc she wasn't draining my breasts. Not sure when I'll stop pumping. I didn't pump much last night and it was so nice to get some sleep. Baby is 3 ounces over birth weight so we no longer have to wake her to eat - she wakes herself. And the LC said it's ok to let her have longer stretches at night. So she gives me 3-4 hour stretches. It's nice! Oh and I've stopped supplementing her with my pumped milk - I am just nursing her. So that is really ncie! And I'm actually putting milk in the freezer. I never ever thought I would be able to have milk to freeze!! 


Makenna is still doing well. But she is missing some mommy cuddle time. I have yet to hand baby off and have 1 on 1 time with Makenna. I need to start doing that. Hopefully now that I'm not pumping quite as much, I'll be more able. My mother in law is here until Wed morning, then I'm on my own w/the 2 for a few days. My mom will be here next week. I think we'll be fine. This baby is so mellow and it is jsut so different having a 2nd kid versus the anxiety of having your first. We've already gone out to dinner and spent the entire day out at a harvest festival/getting pumpkins on saturday. 


Sorry no personals - I'm so behind! 


Starling: You have been in my thoughts! I am so sorry for your loss of your dear friend. I really did cry for her 3 girls when i read the news. They are lucky to have you in their lives. 



post #650 of 1166

Cindy ... that's wonderful!  I'm so thrilled that you have more milk this time too.  Pure awesome-sauce.

Mal ... How's Owyn doing at night?  Great that she's been doing so well at staying dry!

Erin ... sibling stuff: They're having way more fun with each other now.  Although E also says things like, "You can't have that EVER again and if you get it, I will take it away and you can't EVER play with it!"  And that's with something that H got in the first place.  Doh.


Thanks to all of you for your thoughts about my best friend.  It was very hard to say goodbye.  She died around noon, when I was actually talking about her to my sister (aka Other Best Friend).  My ex, the kids and I rushed over to be with the girls and her mom.  E and I sat with her and held her hand and kissed her and told her how much we love her.  Now E is pretending to be dead a lot, and has many questions about death and dying.  She likes to lie on the couch with a playsilk up to her chin and be dead and have me come and say goodbye.  I have not brought up anything about any kind of afterlife or God or 'better place' because we are not religious and don't believe in either, but I'm sure she'll have a bunch of questions after K's service because she was very spiritual.  I have talked about her 'soul,' but so far E hasn't asked where it has gone, or wondered if it might be separate from her body.  I'm not sure what I'd say to that, because I'm not sure what I think about that, to be honest.  Being a paramedic has changed my perspective about death and dying a lot.  


Her husband is barely coping, and is being quite odd, which is understandable, I suppose.  She always wanted to be cremated, but he's having her buried.  The girls want a service at the beach, but he's booked a nightclub-turned-church.  It's hard to watch.  I tried to discuss all of this with both K and him in the summer, but that's when he got so angry and hasn't talked to me since.  We took the girls out for brunch the day after she died, and made sure that they know that we're here for them, emotionally, logistically, and financially.  I was doing okay while we were there, but now that I'm home and anyone asks me how I'm doing, I lose it a little.


Also, two children in our outdoor playgroup found freshly used IV needles in the garden and got significant needlestick injuries, so our little community has been devastated by that too.  I took my kids to the safe injection site, if you can believe it.  We went to collect all the paraphernalia associated with IV drug use (including needles) so that I can do a demo for our playgroup and one for our neighbourhood.  E actually saw someone shooting up on the sidewalk outside the safe site.  Our area of the city is pretty rough around the edges, so this is not as shocking to us as it might be to some.  


So, between me going back to work, a beloved auntie's death, and the scary needlestick injury and drug talk, it's been a very heavy time for little E's heart and mind.  She needs to be with one of us at all times, even if we're just going upstairs.  She wants to be cuddled to sleep too.  Hard times for such a thoughtful and intense little girl.  I've been having her in the carrier more too, which seems to help.  


In much lighter news, dp and I are off ON OUR OWN to go collect my new-to-us VW Eurovan on Thursday!  We're flying there (1 hr) and driving back (5 hrs).  That's the first time that we've been away at the same time!  Just a day trip, but we're super stoked!  We're going to try out the bed on the way, because that's likely to be the one and only time we'll ever be in it alone together.  winky.gifUnless we go to Burning Man sometime.  E and H will be with my mom for the morning and my sister for the afternoon.  E is very excited to get a camper van!

post #651 of 1166

Holy Crap! A Eurovan is my dream car! Have a fun road trip home! ;) Sounds awesome!!


We are heading to Ohio in the morning. Well, a day in Anchorage so we can fly out the next day at the crack of dawn. Bracing myself for interactions with my MIL. Ugh- she can be very difficult. But overall, I'm really excited to be getting out of here and looking forward to seeing Dh's siblings. They are a wild bunch. We parent WAY differently then any of them and DH is all pumped to show them his happy AP kids! :) Hoping the weather is clear in the morning and we get off the rock as planned!


Cindy: so glad about the milk supply!!!


Starling: Oh goodness. A lot for a little person to take in. E is in my thoughts. I think its really hard to explain death to a little person. Fiona still talks about our dog from time to time as if she were still alive and coming home. Other times she seems to get it. I think its probably a normal way for a 3 year old to process it.


Take care Mamas! I'll check in when we are home in a couple of weeks. :)

post #652 of 1166

Starling: What a rough go you guys have had. I can't imagine what could be going through E's mind right now. It's no wonder she needs some extra snuggles right now. Owyn hasn't really had any exposure to death/dying that I can think of... we haven't lost any pets or loved ones since her birth. She went to a funeral with me a few months ago, but it was no one she knew and she thought it was just another reason to play with her cousins. And the woman who passed away was cremated, so she didn't see a casket or burial or anything. She never had any questions for us.... Yay about the EuroVan though! How exciting to get a whole day with your DP!


Sue: Have fun in Ohio! MILs can be so fun eyesroll.gif But I hope you get to have a great time with your ILs! Do Fiona and Maeve have many cousins on that side?


Owyn is still staying dry at night, woo hoo! Her cold is also getting better, but she has passed it on to me. irked.gif Greta is getting over yet another ear infection. She hadn't been sleeping well for well over a week, but she's getting teeth and learning to walk, so we had chalked it up to that. She finally started running a fever shortly after she got to the sitter on Friday last week. And this is a baby who never runs fevers, as opposed to Owyn who runs a high fever at the drop of a hat. Greta ran a fever all day and all night Friday, even after being dosed with Tylenol. I feel so bad that she was likely not feeling well for so long before we knew what was going on. It just kills me when they can't say what's wrong with them. 


So, thanks to this crappy cold, I'm getting crappy sleep even though the baby is finally sleeping better. I did manage to go shopping for her birthday gifts over the weekend, I can't believe that is coming up so quickly! It is a short week at work though, so that helps. I have parent-teacher conferences all evening Thursday, then we're off Friday. So, our playgroup is making a trip to a pumpkin patch with all the kiddos. Our last trip there was just a couple of weeks before Greta was born, how fast time flies! DH and I are going on a date to a local winery this Saturday and I can't wait! Then, next week we have our first parent-teacher conference for Owyn. I'm excited to hear how she is doing at school, she seems so shy when I drop her off. She also has her first field trip next week! They are going to the university in a neighboring town for a play followed by lunch out at a pizza place. She is so excited about riding on a school bus! Of course, it's on a day I have to work. I so wish I could go with her! If Greta hadn't gotten sick last week, I would take off and go with her, but I feel bad taking off work too often so I'll have to sit this one out. 


Oh, Cindy, I LOVE the pics, so adorable. Especially the ones of both the girls, precious!!


Better run, we're off for a playdate...

post #653 of 1166

Starling your E sounds so much like my oldest.... Big thoughts all. the. time. Which in turn means they cannot be carefree (are slightly anxious) because they think about EVERYTHING. He doesn't like being on a separate floor either. Our bathroom is upstairs and he won't bathe unless one of us is up there. I do give him rescue remedy. He is a rule follower and the most logical soul I know which makes him have some repetitive behaviours and things he HAS to do. He is so articulate and can out explain some adults I know. It's a hard one. We had 3 deaths in the last couple years, with the most recent of my dh's grandmother being the hardest because Em knew her well. I got a lot of hard spiritual questions from him and had to deal with the religion thing because it was a catholic ceremony and the whole what is god, where do we go when we die. I explained that no one really knows and that there are a lot of different groups of people that believe different things. My mother kept mentioning heaven to him because she thought it would soothe him but it bothered me for some reason. Although Em decided on his own that he believes in reincarnation. I have a book on how to talk to kids about spirituality but I have yet to read it. Dee well she feels her way through it so there was a lot of tears and some outbursts. She would break into tears at the table over nothing and say it was because her grandma was dead, and she couldn't understand that when we were going to say goodbye we wouldn't see grandma. Conceptually she just couldn't get it but Em could at that age. I think the feeling is easier to parent than the thinking in this situation (not in others though).  


Yay Owyn, hope you are getting more sleep and healing Mal, happy birthday Greta!


Cindy Gorgeous!


Sue have fun at the in laws


Halloween: A clown and harry potter

post #654 of 1166

Starling - That sounds so hard for everyone. I can see how coming to terms with death would be tough for a deep-thinker kid like E.  It's tough for adults! No one K knows has died in his lifetime (except for a couple of sick great grandparents he met once). Glad you're finally getting the camper van. My mom has one, and loves it.


Cindy - Glad the nursing is going so much better this time.


Sue - hope you're all having fun on the trip!


Mal - sounds busy! Both of our kids were sick with a stomach bug recently, L a few days after K. I felt awful because she kept asking and asking for food, and I wouldn't give her any (because she kept puking it up), and she just couldn't understand why K and I were eating and I was cruelly denying her. Luckily she was over it in a day.


Nilla - K is very logical and articulate in that same way. We've been lucky so far that his only thoughts of death are people killing animals, and animals eating other animals.


Halloween - K didn't know what Halloween was, but when it was explained to him that he could get chocolate, he decided to be an owl (my MIL is making him a costume). I'll put L in a Salvation Army pumpkin one I have lying around.


AFM - We have winter now! Woke up the other day to 5 inches of snow, which soon became 9 inches. It's down to 7 now, but at this point in the year, I'm not sure if it'll melt all the way or not (our usual first snow is around Halloween).  Have been breaking out the snowboots and the parkas and sleds and making snowmen (and hurriedly harvesting my last 13 pounds of carrots...)

K has been so fun to be around lately - really in a good stage, learning all kinds of things... I'm starting to wonder about how worthwhile all the logistics are to send him to preschool 4 mornings a week, though I do love the woman who runs it. And I'm becoming more convinced that I probably won't bother to do real school when he's too old for preschool.

post #655 of 1166
Thread Starter 

Starling - I'm so sorry about the loss of your friend.  What a heartbreaking loss for everyone.  R has had a few deaths, but no one that was a regular part of our life (3 of his great grandparents, and my foster brother).  The hardest was my foster brother last December.  He still will randomly ask about him, but he knows he died, unfortunately he also overheard my mom say something about how he died (fire) and so sometimes he will say that.  My mom and aunt are very religious and he goes to a christian daycare so he does say things about going to heaven and being with Jesus.  I'm an atheist so I don't encourage that, but I also don't say "no that's not true", because at this point he's too young to really get it anyway.  I'm also sorry that the final arrangements weren't what your friend would have wanted.  My brother's bio-parents arranged everything and it was so not what he would have wanted.  It was such a complicated situation.  Losing him is the hardest loss I've ever had as well.  I try not to talk about it too much.  Anyway, hopefully E will process everything well enough, I'm sure she will continue asking questions and talking about it for a long time.


I've been feeling overwhelmed with life lately, kinda down I guess..  Talking about my brother hasn't helped so I'll have to respond to the rest of you another time.

post #656 of 1166

We got snow yesterday too. Winter is here! The kids are excited about it but it was just a dusting. Should have 5-10cm by tommorow though.

post #657 of 1166

Starling- so sorry about your friend, and E sure does have a lot to process, it's great that you are letting her have the extra closeness she craves.


Sue or Mal (sorry it was on the last page and i can't scroll back and after reading everything else I forget who) is the school picture back in yet? I'd love to see it.


kids up now..I'll be back later

post #658 of 1166

Courtney: I was just coming here to post about her pics! I shared a couple of them on my Facebook, but can't figure out how to share them on here... Anyway, here's a link to all of them http://virginiawilson.zenfolio.com/montessori2012ps/h485F12C8#h485e0984 One of her poses is on the first page. A few pages later there's an outdoor pose as well. I think they came out pretty cute, although I can tell in them that she was being pretty shy. 


Her first field trip was yesterday and she had a great time! Apparently there was a little confusion. I couldn't go with her, so my cousin (whose daughter is in the same class) volunteered to take her and then bring her back to my sister's after they got back into town. I guess Owyn thought that meant she should be in my cousin's group and when she found out she was in another group (who she sat with on the bus, during the play and at the restaurant), she was pretty upset. I asked her if she cried and she said no. And she talks as if she had a really great time, so I guess she must have gotten over it. Oh well. It wasn't until the day of the field trip that I got a little nervous about transportation. I guess that's just something I'll have to get used to. I'm pretty hardcore about car seat safety, so to put her on a school bus that doesn't even have seatbelts, knowing they are getting on a highway and driving about 30 miles... it made me nervous! Owyn loved it though. The school bus and the pizza place seemed to be her favorite parts of the whole day!

post #659 of 1166

Mal - those pictures need a login from the link, but I saw one you put on FB. Cute.  I'm glad she had such a good time on the trip. I'm sure my kids will be just thrilled to see things like buses when we go to the big city here in a couple weeks. L hasn't ever left Alaska, and K hasn't since he was 1 year old or so.


AFM - still winter here. Actually we've had an incredible stretch of gorgeous sunny clear cold weather. Beautiful light, beautiful frost. It's like we skipped right over fall and early winter and have landed straight into March.

Just starting to figure out our plans for the next big expedition this spring/summer. 800 miles, probably about 4 months, and we expect K to basically walk the walking parts (some will be packrafting), resupplies to figure out for the whole second half where there are no communities. Not leaving until March, but we'd better get started. It's exciting and daunting at the same time.

post #660 of 1166

Starling, so sorry for the loss of your dear friend. Her daughters are fortunate to have your family.  It does sound like E has a lot on her plate, but it also sounds like she's coping normally and processing things...I have trouble giving Aubrey credit for as much as she understands, but I think it is better to get some of this stuff out of the way early...sort of as it arises, in the natural course of things. Right now we're working on disabilities and mental illness. Big hugs for you and your loved ones right now.


Erin, I hear ya on the school thing.  I can't help but wonder what I'm going to do about it.  I'm sort of hoping that something appears out of the blue and makes the decision for me. Good luck with the harvest.  I'm excited about your upcoming trip!  I can't imagine doing all of that with kids.  Of course I wouldn't go without them, so I guess that's why we just don't have adventures.  Hmm.  Need to work on that maybe.


Nilla, the idea of a big kid terrifies me.  I like that I have all of the answers still.  Or mostly at least.  Spirituality is a tough one.  My parents are very traditional Catholic, and DH's parents are evangelical christians.  Neither is open to intellectual discussion about it, even just historical aspects.  Religion, for me, is a struggle--I would like to be more religious in general, but I have so many questions that just don't get answered...and I'm not sure they need to be, but they're there nonetheless.  So I've tried the "fake it till you make it" approach, but it doesn't really for me.  I should probably make an effort to at least expose the girls to more spiritual events/concepts/considerations.  


Ever, I'm sorry you're feeling down.  Hopefully things are looking up now?  You have so much on your plate, it would be hard not to feel down sometimes.  Stay strong, mama.


Boo to the snow talk.  BOO. 


Halloween--family theme.  We're dorks.  Aubrey is Tinkerbell, Mallory is Wendy, I'm Peter Pan (couldn't get DH to wear the tights), and DH is John (the oldest brother).

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