February '09 Mamas ~ Childhood Chat :) - Page 5

[Vegan Princess]

Courtney: I always think you look pretty in your pics! Hard for you not to. Interesting about realizing you are picturing a boy! I am so curious to see if your intuition is right and the u/s was wrong. I've definitely had friends told one thing and they got the other. But it's rare. I too was convinced I was having a boy and then shocked when I found out M was going to be a girl. Now I just have no clue. I'm figuring boy but only bc that is what we're hoping for (or DH is hoping for. I suppose I would prefer a girl but since I know he wants a boy I want him to have one). I don't have any feeling about it one way or another though. 

Erin: I think I would allow the typing with a limit as well. A longer limit than other types of screen time. M loves to "press letters" - and I think it's a nice way to work on letters with her without me pushing it.

Everr: Wow, I can't imagine a child going to sleep so easily! Perhaps being in JK will toughen the kid up a bit? Would J's family be open to a private school with smaller classes? Are there early intervention programs there? I know that even here in crappy USA there are a lot of early intervention programs for children with delays of all sorts and I think they are often free or very low cost. 

Speaking of speech issues, do any of your kids still consistenty mispronounce certain letter sounds? Makenna always says "t" for "c". Like car is tar. And she puts a "t" sound at the end of words that end in "k". So book is bookt. She's done this forever. I've been assuming it will go away. But will it? She has always been very advanced vocabulary wise and started talking early. 

M was back in our bed last night. I knew it was a fluke occurance. LOL!

Cindy

[Thursday Girl]

yes, June mispronounces a LOT of things and most words she says could possibly be a handful of different words and she can get VERY upset when we don't understand what she is saying. I am going to talk to her doctor about it again and INSIST that we do something. I'd like to take her to a speech therapist, I mean I know she is talking in sentences and understands everything but her inability to get her point across is so upsetting that I think something has to happen.

[Everrgreen]

R actually started talking late but then his language boomed.  There really isn't anything that he says that I (or anyone) can't understand.  He has a couple cute mispronunciations - pocsibles instead of popsicles, racoons instead of cartoons, sghetti instead of spaghetti... Umm, that's all I can think of.  I definitely think R is verbally advanced.  I think this contributes to my concern for J, even though I know R is 'advanced' it is still quite dramatic seeing the difference between the two.  I'm not sure what J's dad is doing to help.  My mom has talked to him a few times about getting help for him, but he always says he's just a boy and it's not a concern.  And apparently his daycare teachers haven't said anything which I find surprising.  I hope he learns to be more assertive in jk.  But I think the speech is going to need professional help, which he isn't getting :(

[AKislandgirl]

Fiona says an h sound instead of th. I think its cute! She often says things like "I was hinking about having a snack." She also says things like, "keeping an eye with them" instead of keeping an eye on them. Everyone can understand her though and she too was an early talker and communicator. At 5.5 months she starting signing milk when she wanted to nurse. She said Mama at 6 months...

Yes, I'm still feeling conflicted about pulling her out of dance only because during the class she is loving it and she talks about going and dances around the house "like in my dance class." Ugh! It is just that we pay so much for it in terms of her behavior for the rest of the weekend. i wish the class size was smaller...

I'm willing to pass out some snow too! This has been crazy- it's snowing right now. I don't know when we will see the grass again!

[AKislandgirl]

Courtney, I just finished reading your blog post. Big hugs mama! I'm thinking about you and sending good thoughts for a happy healthy baby. We'll be waiting to find out if "she" really is a "he". You will know so soon!!

[justKate]

Courtney, big hugs to you.  Maybe you know this birth or this baby will be different, but different isn't necessarily bad or unsafe.  Maybe s/he has something new to bring to your life, or your birth experiences, or something like that.  And I think you look great!

Speech issues--Aubs really didn't have much of a vocabulary until about 3 months ago, so I'm not really bothered by her lousy pronunciation. She's always willing to try to say it right.  I'm trying to let these things work themselves out and stop expecting her to be me.

Cindy, the casting and/or surgery sounds extreme to me too.  I say get a second opinion.  Or wait six months and see if anything changes.  And hooray for a wiggly baby!

Nilla, I LOVE the rocks in a jar idea.  I'm going to steal that one for sure.

Sorry that I haven't been on top of things more--no internet for a week and a half, and I don't think I can catch up at this point!  I think I'm somewhere between 37 & 38 weeks today, and starting to get uncomfortable.  Really just in the last week or so--not able to get up out of a squat without putting a hand on the ground, groaning when I have to get out of bed at night or roll over.  But overall everything is good.  BP is nice and low, weight is steady, baby is in a better position than Aubs was.  Trying to stay positive about all things VBAC.  Now I just need to wait for the little one to arrive!  Nothing planned at all for the next three weeks (except Aubs' normal activities) so I guess I need to settle in, make some meals, and get ready.

Again, sorry I didn't respond to everyone.  Thinking of you all.  :)

[Mal85]

Courtney: I read your post and I could have written that myself while I was pregnant with Greta. I just knew she was a boy. He had a name, I pictured my life with a son. I could only look at boy things. Finding out she was a girl wasn't a disappointment, but it was not what I was expecting. I don't know that I ever pictured 'her' being a part of our little family. I had a really hard time imagining another girl even after we found out. The first thing I said when she came out was "Oh Baby!! Is she really a girl???" I was still convinced she could come out a he. But now she's here and I couldn't ever imagine not having her. I've even tried to imagine what it would be like if she had come out a he and I just can't see it anymore...

Owyn still mispronounces a lot of words. But she's close enough for me to understand what she's saying. She also comes up with strange names for things. She's really into Cinderella right now (which I just don't get. it was so never my favorite disney movie growing up, but my niece introduced it to her and she just can't get enough of it). She calls it Princess Pea. It took me for. ever. to figure out why she calls it Princess Pea. Until we were watching Super Why one day and I realized the little girl dressed as a princess on that show is called Princess Pea. So weird too, because she rarely ever watches Super Why. Oh, and granola bar. She calls them 'nola bars. So, now I find myself calling them 'nola bars all the time. She calls strawberries strawberry-land from Strawberry Shortcake. 

As for you people getting snow, you can keep it! We've had some gorgeous, gorgeous weather here the last couple of weeks! Spring came early for us. We're supposed to get some storms this week. I'm just hoping the severe weather stays away. We had our share of tornado scares last year, I don't want any of it this year! And the way tornadoes are looking in the rest of the country... we're either getting tornado season early or it's just going to be another bad year for them. Spring storms make me not like where I live...

So, send me some encouragement... we're struggling with breastfeeding here and have had to supplement with formula. This girl has a huge bottle preference and I'm not really sure how to remedy that when I still have to go to work. I found a milk donor this week and met up with her over the weekend. What an amazing person she is! Not only did she give me the milk, but tons of great advice on how to get my supply back up. She hooked me up with a support group that meets at a nearby hospital and I'm going to their meeting tomorrow night. I just can't wait until this school year is over and I can just be with her everyday. I just have to keep my supply up until then, right?!

[Thursday Girl]

Mal, do you have any LLL meetings near you? A lot of times the moms and leaders have a lot of advice to offer, although it sounds like you have found some nice people and information.

hearing that many of you felt the way I have is helpful, and promising that I will get my girl.

[Everrgreen]

Found out today when I dropped R off that the daycare is reducing nap time!  It will now be only 1 hour instead of 2!  Woohoo!  I hope this means I can get him to bed earlier at night :)

Mal - *hugs* I'm sorry you're struggling with nursing.  Is she using slow-flow bottle nipples?  Often bottles are so much easier to get milk out of that it's hard for babies not to prefer it!  A slow-flow nipple might help make the bottle not as great?  Also, is she in the bed with you nursing through the night?  That would help keep your supply up for sure.  Also, blessed thistle and fenugreek are good supplements for supply.  And definitely go to a support group!  

Kate - I'm so glad to hear that everything is looking good for your VBAC!  You will have to try and let us know when you go into labour so we can sending you lots of good birthing vibes!!  Won't be long now!

Sue - Oh that's hard that she likes it so much :(  Maybe you could try going every other week?  Is there enough kids to split it into two smaller groups?

[AKislandgirl]

Everr: Why did I not think about every other week? You are a genius!! They tried having two smaller classes but she determined that there weren't enough kids for the earlier class and combined them. That is when we started having problems. I'll see what DH thinks about every other week. That might be perfect for us.

I need a moment to vent. As you know we have been wanting to move for some time. Well a job came up in Seattle and DH won't apply for it. I know that he doesn't want to live where he has a long commute but having a job there would mean that we could actually live on the same island where my parents and sister live. I can't even imagine how cool that would be. I've always wanted to live there. I get the commuting problem, I really do so I shouldn't even be disappointed but I am. Sometimes it just feels like we will be here forever and I really don't want to live here anymore. This winter has been especially hard because of weather (which reduces us to one car) and sick kids- I've been stuck home a lot. I so want some adult interaction and time with my family. Hoping my spirits lift in the spring and we find the right place for us. Ugh! Vent over, thank you.

[mckittre]

Sue -  I see how frustrating that must be for you.  But I really get your husband's point too.  I grew up in Seattle, and would NEVER want to commute daily from its farther outlying areas - especially any of the islands.  Which island is it?  I think Seattle is fine if you live actually within city limits, preferably not too far to the edges, and make use of the public transit/bike paths.  Otherwise, the traffic is just not worth it. 

But I love Alaska, and my adult community is wonderful here, so I shouldn't talk.  Is there a way you could make more connections where you are?  Not as a replacement for moving, but as something to make your life better in the meantime? 

Everr - I hope the shorter nap works out for him.  With 2 hours nap, I can't believe he ever went to sleep at night at all!

Courtney - I was convinced L was a boy for the first 2/3 of pregnancy, and only really thought about her as a girl at the very end (we didn't find out beforehand).  I understand how you might feel you can't get lucky enough to have another healthy baby yet again.  I felt a little of that even with #2.  But luckily, statistics don't work that way - your odds are just about the same each time.

I hope you do get speech help for June - that sounds like it must be so frustrating for her!

Mal - I'm sorry you're having trouble with nursing.  When is the school year over for you?

Kate - wow that's close!  Hoping for some cute baby pics soon!

Speech - K is understandable by basically everyone, and has been for a long time, unless he gets into one of his long extra-high-pitched run-on whining fits, then no one can.  A few random grammar errors, but no real pronunciation problems that I can think of off the top of my head. 

[Thursday Girl]

Sue, I totally get it. I SO want to move out of Florida, there are some things I like about it but mostly not so much. I want to live near the mountains. My dream spot the PNW, 2nd place near at least one of my sisters. and NOW all my sisters are moved or moving and the only person left will be my mom, who isn't helpful but quite the opposite. I do have some good friends but I am just not a Florida person. However Hubs doesn't seem to be interested in moving anytime soon and I feel like we are just stuck here forever.

[starling&diesel]

double post ... wierd

[starling&diesel]

Phone post ... Sorry for typos

Courtney ... I think if I had three girls, I'd be pretty convinced that my fourth was going to be a boy. That said, your Little Women set needs one more girl! As for feeling a sense of unease, I truly understand the feeling. I was never brave enough to talk about it on here, but I had a sense of something going wrong with my pregnancy with H. I think I was sensing that i would end up with the c-section and failed homebirth. If I was pregnant with my fourth, I'd be anxious about the odds too ... I think that's totally normal. On the other hand, you've set a great precedent with three beautiful, healthy children so far. Hugs to you.

Sue ... Oh! How frustrating! I understand the commute issue, but the chance to be near family is SO awesome! And of course, you'd be closer to me! No way you could live nearer his work? Visit your family lots?

Mal ... What about getting rid of the bottles altogether? H started on open cups and sippies at four and a half months or so. How old is Greta? I think it helps keep H at the breast, because that's where he gets his sucking needs met. Does she use a soother? Maybe toss that too? There'd be a couple rough days while she adjusts, but might be better in the long run if she only has your boobs when it comes to sucking. I hope it all works out!

Ever ... I doubt R is any more of a bully than any of our children. I do think that kids sense weakness and naturally exploit opportunities while they are learning the more subtle codes and cues of social interaction. I hope your nephew can learn or acquire some strategies and coping skills before kindergarten. He'll be one of the youngest in his class, which will be a challenge. Would they consider holding him back?

Speech: this is E's strong point, which is nice. She's extremely verbal and has an amazing vocabulary .... Better than most eight year olds I know! I'm glad she has something she is really good at, especially when I'm noticing so many of her peers ace playground dynamics, make friends easily and perfect new physical challenges after just a couple of tries. My little wordy bookworm is just fine. Right?

[AKislandgirl]

Neither of us wants to live in the city. And I get the commute issue- it was just for a little bit I was having a wonderful daydream about living close to my family. I know we'll get there...

Everr: I hope your cousin't little one can get some intervention for his speach issue. Maybe once he starts preschool the teachers will get him some help if his parents are reluctant to acknowledge it.

Mal: I think I'd try some of the suggestions Starling gave. Sorry you are having such trouble right now! Sounds really stressful.

Starling: Of course a quiet bookworm is wonderful and perfect! We all have our strengths!

Fiona is in her "baby me" mode. It's really taken this long to hit. I expected it earlier. I've been trying to wear her on my back in the ergo for a bit each day which seems to help. It's what I do a lot of with Maeve so she likes that. She started sucking on her hands and fingers after M was born too. Somewhat annoying but we've decided to ignore it. Also, refusing to use utensils when she eats and only using her fingers. Not sure how to deal with that. We keep encouraging her to use her fork but she'll say, "little girls like me need to use fingers." I'm sure it will pass... sigh!

Everyone should wear their footie jammies and cowgirl boots to play in the snow!

[AKislandgirl]

Do you guys all have wills? We haven't done one yet . Mostly because we haven't really decided who we would want the girls to go to if we both died. I hate thinking about really but I know we need to do it. I REALLY REALLY don't want them to go to anyone on DH's side. We've both thought my sister but she and her husband are always strapped for cash and barely have room for their own kids in their tiny place. We may ask my brother- really though, I don't even know how to bring it up. How have you guys approached this?

[Everrgreen]

Oh I hate thinking about that :(  I don't have a will..  Well, I have a little typed up thing that I signed but I don't think that really counts.  It was just a quick fix because I knew it would take me forever to get an actual will done.  BUT, the important people in R's life know what I want.  He will go to live with Grandma if something happens to me.  And I've talked to my mom and my best friend about my concerns if ex should suddenly reappear wanting custody.  They will fight him in court for R.  I hate the idea of something happening to me before R is old enough to understand where I've gone and why...  Just thinking about what it would be like for him tears my heart apart :(

Your pic of Fiona is super cute!  I can't believe all the snow.. We are still having our unusually warm weather.  We're in sandals and t-shirts here!!  Tomorrow I babysit J so we're all going to have a picnic at the park after daycare!  

J actually goes to the same daycare as R, but he's in a different class.  I'm really surprised the staff there hasn't expressed concern (that I know if).  He really needs help with his language.  Maybe my cousin will hold him back for jk, but I'm not sure..  Daycare would be more expensive than just before/after school care (we have full day jk here..) R has also started translating for him (or just guessing what he wants and asking for it for him).  It's a hard situation, I feel so bad :(  My mom is trying to deal with R's bullying with lots of praise when he's playing nicely.  I'm not sure how I feel about that... Praising for something he should be doing anyway seems kind of weird.  I'm not really a 'good job' type of parent, it doesn't come naturally for me...  Although my solution tends to be lots of time outs and/or yelling, which isn't working :/  

Starling - a wordy bookworm sounds wonderful!  R uses his language skills to be mischievous :P  Sometimes that kid is too clever for his own good!

Sue - That is frustrating about the Seattle job.. I understand both views.  How bad is the commute?  I am so so happy to be back in my hometown near my mom.  I really don't ever want to leave here (of course it depends on if I can get a job when I graduate.. I'm staying optimistic that I will).  It's a tough situation for sure.. *hugs*

[Mal85]

Wills: We haven't done one yet, but we've been talking about it a lot lately. We're going to Jamaica next year for a friend's destination wedding and I've set the goal to get our will done before we leave for that. I hate the thought of people fighting over our kids and there are a lot of different people I can think of that would step forward and want to take care of them. It's hard to decide who though... For a lot of reasons, my IL's would be a good pick, but neither of us feels right asking our parents to raise our kids when they should be enjoying their retirement. Luckily, all our family lives in the same area, so no matter who had custody of them, everyone would still be a part of their lives. 

Speaking of parents and retirement... my dad got offered a job by the people buying his company. It's a long commute, but they offered to let him work 3 12-hour shifts and pay for a hotel room for two nights. Then, he'll have 4 days in a row at home. They're paying him just a little more also. He's not thrilled about how far away it is, but he figures he should take it since he's so close to retirement. Could be hard for him to find anything else...

Thanks for all the replies and encouragement on the nursing issues. I went to the support group meeting and got some great advice from other moms there. I'm trying not to stress too much about it, but also trying to be okay with the fact that it might not completely work out. I am taking fenugreek and it seems to be helping a little. Today, I did a power pumping session (10 min. of pumping, 20 min off) for 2 hours. It totally sucked, but maybe it'll help. 

So, Owyn got the movie "Lady and the Tramp" for her birthday. She really likes it and has asked to watch it a few times. But she's really scared of the scene with the Siamese cats. The other day, when that part came on, she dropped what she was doing and ran out of the room saying those were scary kitty cats! Today, she just started crying her eyes out. I went running into the room to find her covering her eyes, crying and talking about the scary kitty cats. She still asks to watch the movie though!

[Vegan Princess]

Mal: Yay for your dad! That's incredible they are paying for a hotel for him. As for the movie, Makenna always runs out of the room when the monkey comes on in Toy Story 3 and asks me to skip those scenes. But she still LOVES the movie. Funny - we have 2 siamese cats. I wonder if that scene would scare Makenna? Probably not just bc we have those cats. Ugh - power pumping SUCKS! Been there. I hope the advice you got helps you guys out. 

Starling: I agree - a wordy bookworm is great! :-) M is not very social these days either, except with her couple friends she's known forever. She has become more shy as time has gone on. 

Wills. We don't have one. Thanks for reminding me! I honestly do not know who she should go to. My first thought is DH's brother and his wife. They have a very similar way of parenting and 2 kiddos close to M's age. I feel much more in tuned with them than my own siblings. But they are expecting their 3rd child. So that could be a lot to ask of them. But then again, my brother and sister both have lots of kids too - and I do NOT like the way they parent. My mom is too tired and has fibromyalgia - it wouldn't work. Though I'm sure she would if she had to. 

Unfortunately, my oldest nephew was 3 when his mommy passed away!! The idea just breaks my heart still. Especially having a 3 yr old now! I was 19 at the time. My brother and my nephew moved in with us for a while after that happened and my mom and dad helped a lot with my nephew. I just will never get the image of him at the gathering after her funeral out of my mind. He was running around playing with his cousins and having a great time with little a care in the world - just so oblivious still to what had happened. Ok enough about that - it's going to make me cry thinking about it. 

We are working on the toe walking. We walked to and from the park on our flat feet today. She's pretty proud that she can do it! Says she is getting really good at it and can't wait to show daddy. So we'll see. It takes me reminding her to stick with it about 50 times on the 3 block walk though. 

I am meeting with the midwife I like on Monday to see if we can work out a price we are comfortable paying. I would be so thrilled to try for a homebirth!! I'm just so torn about spending the money.

Cindy

PS: Makenna has demanded to go to bed early the last 2 nights. So unlike her!

[mckittre]

Wills - Ugh.  Speaking of paperwork we should have done years ago.  We've talked to the whole family about who the kids will go to (my husband's sister), and they're all friendly and easy-going people, so I'm pretty sure they'll do that and not fight over them.  But there's nothing in writing.  The hard thing in our family is that even though we have wonderful choices personality-wise, pretty much all of our relatives are single.  All our siblings are single, almost all of our parents (except my dad) are single, and there are no cousins or any other members of their generation around.  It would be a big burden on his single sister to suddenly be saddled with our two kids, and though I know she'd be a wonderful mom, and we do have a little life insurance, there's no getting around that.

Does anyone know if there's any way to make a simple will without a lawyer?  Something online maybe?

Cindy - that story about your nephew is so sad!  K talks about death sometimes, but I don't think he would get it at all if one of us really died. 

I hope you do get to do a homebirth if that's what you want.  I always thought it would be neat, but it never was an option here.  My births were good anyway, luckily.

Mal - I'm glad they're keeping your dad on, even though it doesn't sound like the best deal for him.  How many more years does he need to hold out there?

Everr - A power imbalance between kids naturally leads to one pushing the other around.  Not that you shouldn't try to stop it, of course, but it doesn't mean R is a bully.  K pushes around his sister as well (usually when she's attempting to bother or play with him), which I also try to stop, but I do think it's natural kid behavior.

Sue - K never did the "baby" phase, but I almost wish he had.  He's much more focused on differentiating himself from his baby sister, and constantly wants to talk about the things L can't do yet.

Starling -  We get what we get.  Your wordy bookworm is fine, and mine probably is too.  Today I was picking up K at preschool, and one of his classmates was in the hallway being goofy, making animal noises, etc...  K says "I don't like that funny talking boy."  L, on the other hand, runs over to him squealing, then runs away when he roars at her, then repeats the game.  I think I know who my social kid is going to be.  K has a great vocabulary, is incredibly verbal, obsessed with letters and numbers and words, confident, and fairly physically capable.  But he's aloof, stubborn, very cautious, and almost never gets involved in the run-around-and-be-crazy type of play that it seems like all the other kids do.  I sometimes wish he'd lighten up and be more of a regular kid.  But then I see a lot of myself in him, so I know where it's coming from. 

Movies - Is K the only kid who's never seen a kid's movie?  It really just never occurs to me to do it - movies in our house are an adult hangout time on the laptop after the kids are in bed.  Is he going to be hopelessly culturally behind by the time he gets to kindergarten?