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February '09 Mamas ~ Childhood Chat :) - Page 41

post #801 of 1166
Thread Starter 

Starling - Adoption - wow!  How exciting would that be??  I'm thinking of you guys and I hope the adoption process goes smoothly!!  I have dreams of some day fostering, once my life is more together.  My parents always fostered growing up, and my brother that passed away was a foster brother.  I think because of him my main thoughts are on fostering pre-teen/teen boys, once I'm a bit older and can handle something like that.  Maybe when R is around that age.  


And I would LOVE to see you in May!!!  Toronto isn't too far, that's where I got to school :)  We could do something touristy together, museum, zoo..  There's an aquarium opening up too, but not til the summer I think..  Anyway, just let me know when and where :)


I didn't realize BC was different for kindergarten.. We have JK and SK here, so JK starts at age 3 or 4 (all kids born 2009 start this September).  The school I was planning on sending him doesn't have full day kindergarten yet, so I'm going to go with a different one.  I just don't see the point in going every other day when the other days he'll have to be in daycare anyway (less $$ for me!)


Sue - I'm sorry you've been having a rough time *hugs*.  I hope your hubby gets a position in Oregon soon.  It's not fun to wait :(


AFM:  I really want to get a dog.. I've wanted to for a long time actually, but the timing has never been right.  My life is always too busy.  I always thought I would get one when R turned 5 but I think I might move that up a bit.  In reality I probably won't get one until the fall..  I'm nervous about the extra commitment and responsibility and wondering if that will be the tipping point for my stress load.. But I also think it would be really great, and fun, and make my little family feel more like a 'real family', if that makes sense..  I think it would be really great for R too, especially because he doesn't have any siblings.  A dog could be his playmate in a way.  So, maybe soonish.. I was also thinking about this spring.  It would be easier then for the adjustment - taking it out for walks, house training, and all that.  It's exciting to think about :)  

post #802 of 1166

Starling: Wow, how cool would it be if you really do get to adopt that little girl? So surprising to hear but so awesome! I hope all works out. Yay to your DP for up and quitting a job she doesn't like. Sounds like you guys are going to enjoy some travel for a while before settling down again. I would love love love to see you guys!! I'm jealous - I want to camp. 


Everr: Hang in there mama - there is a light at the end of the tunnel. I do think you will be feeling so much better when you are done with school. Prayers for a job you want! I think a dog is a great idea. But I would wait until you are done with school and have some more time to focus on it. Would you get a puppy or adopt an older dog that needs a home? 


Sue: I'm glad you are getting out for walks at least! I am not even doing that these days.


Mal: Fingers crossed your house sells quickly! Must be so frustrating to be in a holding pattern like that.


AFM: I guess we are in a bit of flux around here too. DH spends about 3 hours/day in the car driving to and from work. And when he gets there he hates his job. A position opened up 10 minutes from our house and he interviewed there last week. But now the guy might not need someone full time. So he is meeting with his old boss from another company who is also somewhere new to see about splitting time with him and the job near our house. Not only would he have a short commute and we'd get to see him more, it would be a lot more money. We all have our hope up way too high, I'm sure. But even if he doesn't get this, he has to get something - he won't stay where he is. His boss knows this and is at least trying to move him to a different client - one where he worked for 7 yrs before taking this job and where the culture is way more laid back. So we'll see.


Life has settled down a bit now that Aria is 4 mos. She is pretty easy most of the time. Just a happy little person. It's makenna that gives me a run for my money these days. DH got home at like 7 or 8 most of last week and one night worked until midnight. I was pretty worn out from dealing with M last week. I am off to call the doc right now bc her tonsils are huge and I think they need to come out asap. She snores and woke up on Friday night freaking out that she couldn't breathe. She is also having some episodes where she says she uinhaled whatever she is eating - but I think really it's just getting stuck on her tonsils bc it is happening sort of frequently. We did see the pediatrician a week ago and she said they were big but just by looking she wasn't overly concerned. But she referred us to the specialist. The big tonsils coupled with her smaller than normal airways are not a good combo. So I am worried every night when I listen to her breathing. I just hope it can wait until after our trip to Kauai in 12 days. I'm pretty sure it can. Anyway, part of me wonders if M's disposition isn't made more crabby at times bc she is not getting restful sleep anymore. I keep reading that big tonsils can effect sleep and mood and even bed wetting (she still sleeps in a diaper). 



post #803 of 1166
Starling: Big,big news all the way around! I am so excited for your new changes. Also hoping for the best with the adoption. She would be one lucky little girl to find such an amazing family to be a part of. As long as you're traveling, you should just swoop on down to the Midwest and visit us!! wink1.gif

Ever: Good to hear from you! I think a dog is a great idea, of course that might just be because I want one! I have always told DH I would not get a dog while we live in our current home, small yard, no fence, small house. And I like big dogs, so it just wouldn't work. But with a new house hopefully on the horizon... More space, large fenced-in yard... Maybe a puppy for Christmas next year! DH wants a Bassett Hound, and since he isn't too keen on the idea of getting a dog I figured he could at least choose what kind.

Cindy: Good luck with the tonsils. I have had so many people ask me about Owyn's tonsils since her hearing issues started. So many people I have talked to have had issues with fluid and tonsils hand-in-hand. Weird. She has started snoring recently, but she has also had at least a bit of a cold most of the winter. We'll see if it continues once the winter cold season is gone. So jealous of your upcoming trip!!

Our house is being shown again today. Fingers crossed. It's the second showing in one week, which is more than we've ever had! This weekend, we are taking the girls to visit friends in St. Louis and a friend is coming to paint our living room while we are gone. DH is pitting hardware on our new kitchen cabinets and then they will be installed!! Once that is done, we're going to lower our price and hold an open house. One way or another, we will sell this house!!
post #804 of 1166

Good luck, Mal!  Sending you very lucky sellable thoughts!


Dogs:  Mamas, I am here to tell you to wait.  Wait until your child is at least six years old.  This coming from a dog-lovin' mama who has never been without a dog.  They are tonnes of work, and will never ever be able to do more for themselves.  The idea of a dog is so much less work and money and hassle than a real dog.

I love our dog.  And I've loved each dog that came before her.  And if she died tomorrow, we'd get another one.  And I'm sorry to be the one to pee in the cereal here, but someone's got to be the downer on this one.  And if you go ahead and get a dog, I'll be the first to squeal with delight and give my two cents regarding a name, etc. 

I'd encourage fostering first, so you get a sense of the commitment.

Ever ... are you in an apartment?  Even more of a hassle.  


Ever ... Spring is around the corner!  The light is coming back!  I hope it brings some joy and ease with it.  This might sound corny, but have you ever done a visualization/positive manifestation ritual of any kind?  As in, have you asked the universe/god/collective unconscious for *exactly* what you want?  As in, written down, to the point?

It can't hurt!  We do this.  We have a special salt lamp that is in E's room, and when we want something, or are hoping things will go a certain way, we write it down and tuck it under the lamp.  Mal ... This have worked for each of our house sales/purchases!


Sue ... Dang, was hoping that we could point our rental RV your way and end up at yours!  We'll DEFINITELY come see you down in Whidby.  Wouldn't miss it!  I can't wait until you spend more time down here.  We'll be following you around! 


Cindy ... Good to hear that life with Aria is settling into a rhythm.  I'm all for folks quitting jobs that they don't love!

As for our olders, I have a feeling that our four-years-olds are going to be the ones who give us a run for our money in general this year.  Big emotions.  Big ideas.  Big hopes.  Big disapointments.  Big growth.  For those of you with boys ... I've been told by a few people that the concentration of testosterone is highest for our males in their fourth year.  That's a lot to deal with!


We're already getting too excited about the adoption possibility.  The foster family is excited too.  Making the call tomorrow!  Wondering how being an AP family wlll affect the homestudy ... ie. bedsharing, homeschooling, etc.  

post #805 of 1166

Seeing the specialist tomorrow. Thank goodness bc after my last post she had another freak out about not being able to breathe. Basically she IS having some trouble but then it spurs a panic attack about it. I feel so bad for her. It actually started bc we were talking about going to the doc tomorrow and possibly having her tonsils out and she got so upset and then started having trouble breathing or swallowing bc she was so upset. Spoke to her ped this morning after that and she said to have her breathe into a paper bag to calm down or to run the shower and make it seem like I am doing something to fix it. She said the specialist could also prescribe meds to shrink the tonsils for our trip. 


Starling: I'll be curious to know how AP practices influence a home study too! And how would the new little one fit into the bed sharing mix? I don't see M leaving our bed until Aria is ready to go with her. I met a lady at M's preschool who nursed her older son until he was 5 and he slept in her bed until he was 10 and only left bc mom was having another baby. I sure hope no 10 yr olds are still in my bed full time!;-)



post #806 of 1166

Cindy: So sorry to hear about the tonsils and the breathing and panic attacks! Poor thing! 

Starling: I am thinking about you guys and all the changes you have ahead of you. I think that anyone can see how much love is in your family. Thinking good thoughts as you move forward on this!

Everr: I just talked to my Dr today about my depression. She took a bunch of blood to look at anemia, thyroid, etc... Also gave me some tips for next year. A SAD light- start using it around Septemberish for 15-20 minutes each morning. I take 10,000 iu's of vitamin D as well. And I suck at it but more physical exercise. Now that we have light after work I'm trying to walk the dog alone (so I can walk faster and have a mental break from kids). I'm also self medicating with chocolate! ;)

Dogs: I have to say- I'm with Starling on this one. So so so much work! I love my dog with all of my heart and we dearly miss the one that died last summer. They need a lot of time though and I'd wait until you know that you have the time. Fostering is a great idea to test the waters! We won't be getting another dog until we are in a different house and Maeve is at least 3. 

Fiona had a well child visit today. My petite never on the growth chart girl is 50% for weight and height! Amazing what getting all of her food allergies out of her diet has done for her growth!

She is loving audio books these days. Current favorites are Pippi Longstocking, Magic Tree House, and Ramona. Have any others to add to our list?

post #807 of 1166

Sue: Wow, that's so awesome that F had a huge jump up in the growth charts!! She is bigger than M. I think she was around 40% for both.


Saw the specialist today. They didn't give me a clear answer either way. her tonsils are big and she is a good candidate to have them out, they said. But sort of left it up to me. I really hate when docs do that. The snoring and apnea started up after we all got sick a month+ ago. So we are going to talk again in a couple weeks and see if it is any better. She actually did not snore last night so maybe it will go away. But if not, we are going to schedule the surgery for probably a month after we talk. And they want to measure her airway if they do the surgery to see if she has narrowing of the airways. We were originally referred there bc she gets croup so often - the tonsils issue just came up before I made the appointment. So they said she could be getting croup so often bc her airways are narrow. Most likely it's bc she was born that way but it could be something else and they would likely just keep an eye on it but if it is really bad they can dilate the airways. Oh and they also said it's possible her adenoids (which she had taken out at 2) grew back! My mom actually had her tonsils out twice bc hers grew back. Crazy! I so do not want M to go through having her tonsils out but if she is having apnea from them then they have to go. And perhaps she will be able to breathe easily for the first time ever! BC the doc wanted to take the tonsils out when he took the adenoids and we didn't let him. I still don't regret that though - 2 is too young for that kind of pain.



post #808 of 1166

it's 1 am and I am loopy with tiredness, excuse typos and funny comments.


Cindy, my friends son had his tonsils out and she saw all sorts of improve,ments in him when he was actually getting sleep!


starling- exciting about possible adoption. crossing my fingers. Also I am so happy she quit, I love that you guys just switch it up. i wish my Husband would just change what he does when he was unhappy.


Mal, that house looked great hope someone buys yours soon. Also fi looks great in that cinderella costume


everr- i can just imagine how you;re feeling that's a lot to tackle on your own. Also I imagine the change has a lot to do with it, changes can do that.



hearing- yeah I was worried about cora's. haven't heard back from the dr yet. I'll need to call them back but first i need to find the paperwork.


afm- I have been busy with school and kids. June was sick for her birthday and now we are planning her party which will be with her sisters. 

that's her invite, I made one for each girl with their "theme" on it. (june's was pineapples and she really likes rainbows)


she is gogin througha tough time. she started school and moved back in bed with us and now that she is four we moved her back into her own bed. she's clingy about it, but that also b/c she is sick.


okay, I'm too tired to do this, my head is swimming now., Night

post #809 of 1166

Starling - Wow! What a huge amount of (exciting) change in your lives! One job gone, a self-created job in the works, and now maybe another kid too? I wish you the best of luck in the whole adoption process - what is involved with that? Is the homestudy a process of checking out your house?


Cindy - I think getting stuck in an unpleasant and unfulfilling job that sucks the life out of you every day is one of the worst things that adults regularly do to themselves. One way or another, I hope your DH finds a way out!


Sue - Amazing how much she's grown! K has been at the bottom of the growth charts his whole life and I suspect he still is - since he's smaller than kids we know who are 4 and 6 months younger than him. Truthfully, I've been too lazy to take either kid for any kind of checkup this year. 

Sorry about the job search issues. Is there some other place (not Oregon) that you guys would be happy in long-term? Or maybe go to Whidbey for a few months every winter instead of 2-3 times/year (just thinking of the transit costs for 4 people from AK to WA that many times in a year - Ouch!)

And I find getting outside every day in the daylight is HUGE in the winter (I often do it with kids, though).


Audiobooks - How does F listen? On an iPod or something? I find it hugely distracting if anyone talks while I'm trying to listen to a podcast or something, and can't imagine quieting the whole house down to play one for the kids.


Ever - I can't imagine how hard it would be to be trying to make a whole family by yourself, every day. You do amazingly well. I don't know if a dog would help or hurt, but reaching for a life that you want seems like a good idea. Especially if you can foster a dog first.  We have half a dog here (my MIL's dog on the same property), and it's incredibly easy to have a dog here (can roam free, come in for meals and to sleep), but the training part is obviously hard whenever it happens. My kids aren't bonded to the dog at all though, I think it would need to come in as a puppy (and be more work) to get them actually bonded to it.


Mal - Crossing my fingers for your house sale!


AFM - Went on an overnight camping trip the other day - paddled across the bay and camped out on a spit by a beautiful lagoon where there are clam fossils in the rocks (we'd been promising K we'd take him to real fossils for weeks).  In many ways, it was awesome - tidepooling at night in the snow, waking up to a gorgeous sunrise on the beach, playing, fossil hunting, paddling through arches and into little caves in the rocks. But L was still getting over a cold and very tired (at least I think that was the excuse), and it was a chilly morning, and she spent a great deal of time crying and then sleeping on my lap on the beach. I guess it was a shakedown of sorts, reminding me we have only 6 short weeks until we leave on our big expedition, and how much I have left to do, and how many uncertainties I still have about how it will go... I know it's worth it, but I hate this nervous planning part.

post #810 of 1166

oh yeah, we are looking all over the place. We were checking out some spots in Montana last night. A couple of jobs that DH could probably get quite easily but the pay rate is significantly less. We are already a one income family so that wouldn't be good!

Multiple trips because to Whidbey because we know for sure that DH is gone for months at a time in the summer. So one month there. Then we want to get the heck out of here in the winter- another trip there! DH can't leave work for months so we wouldn't want to just go and not be with him. More likely go in the winter as a family and the girls and I stay for a bit longer. Then if we can swing it- someplace fun as a family...

post #811 of 1166

More birthday wishes out to Juniper, Aubrey, and Katmai! Hopefully I'm keeping up!!

Audio books- we listed though the stereo (ipod hooked up) or computer. They would all be on the ipod if I could find the cord- Maeve ran off with it! :)

post #812 of 1166

No time for personals but I've finally caught up on reading. There was no activity for a while so I forgot to check and then boom.

Be Back later. 

post #813 of 1166
Thread Starter 

I think I would be ok to add a dog.  Depending where I end up working.  I had a dog until my ex moved out, he took her.  I always enjoyed having one and don't mind the daily walks.  And we never had a place with a fenced yard but it wasn't a big deal.  I would want to get a puppy, something non-shedding.  We'll see.


I had my first job interview this morning by phone.  Very intense..  I have another on Tuesday so I really have to make sure I'm 100% prepared for that.


Happy Birthday to Juniper, Aubrey, and Katmai!!!  

post #814 of 1166

Ever, then let me put a plug in for the breed we have ... Cockapoo!  Non shedding and FABULOUS with children.  What that dog will let my kids get away with is amazing!  And she's been a great apartment dog.  The kids throw the ball for her inside and she rips around with them, and so by the time we take her out, she's already pooped.  She's a great dog.  Highly recommend the breed/mix.  She's a little smaller than I would've hope for, being that she was the runt of a puppy-mill litter, but she's been a great fit for our family.  She is so devoted to the kids ... and get squirrelly and anxious when one or both of them isn't home.  We got her when E was about 8 months old.  

post #815 of 1166

Read through but don't have time to respond, hopefully later. My MIL is in town for two weeks. Dh took her to Walmart to buy underwear because she forgot hers and doesn't want to borrow mine. I'm having a drink.  Yes, it is 2:00 p.m.  I may have jelly beans next.

post #816 of 1166

justKate ... biglaugh.gif

post #817 of 1166

oh kate...i hope the 2 weeks goes fast lol

post #818 of 1166

Kate - good luck with the MIL!

post #819 of 1166

Kate, I have a feeling the next two weeks will involve lots of wine? I know mine would! Haha. My MIL lives only a block away from me, so I see her frequently, but not for extended periods of time like that. 


We got home last night from a long weekend in St. Louis with the kids. They had a great time of course. We took them both to the children's museum there, The Magic House. Of course they loved every minute and probably would have stayed hours longer if we could have. My friend and I took Owyn to the City Museum on day two, which is probably my favorite place in St. Louis. If you haven't been there, you should if you ever go to STL. It's a huge building with all kinds of places to climb... caves, tunnels, trees, metal... tons of different materials and areas. All made from recycled materials found in the city of STL. Owyn LOVED it. She wasn't sure what to do at first, but once we started climbing she was like "Ok, now you guys follow me!" My body hurts now from all the climbing, but it was fun!


I love visiting our friends there, but they are kidless and I kind of get the feeling lately that they feel a little inconvenienced by our kids. This was the first time we've done an extended weekend with them and both the girls. Usually it's a quick trip, or they come here and stay with family and we see them for a few hours a day. I think we wore them out. On the other hand, we've been lifelong friends with these people and it kind of annoys me when they don't accept and love my kids as they do me. Just needed to vent a little there...


So, my job situation is coming along. Tomorrow is the board meeting at my school, they are supposed to be deciding on contracts for next year at this meeting. They typically put them out around Easter, but I'm hoping to get some answers before then. The other job I was waiting to hear about, the work-from-home job that was waiting on their grant to come through? Well, their grant finally came through last week! My good friend has been putting in a good word for me and it sounds like they want to hire someone very soon. I am supposed to be getting a phone call sometime today for an interview. Right now it's kind of up in the air when they would want me to start if I did get hired. They are expanding their program and need to get more families signed up for it. So, on one hand they need to hire someone to get families signed up, on the other hand it's hard to hire someone when you don't have the families signed up yet. So, my friend through out the idea that I would likely be willing to start out with part time hours, get families signed up, then move onto full time. Which would actually be ideal for me since I would have to finish out the school year anyway at my current job. Her boss hadn't thought of that, but really liked that idea. All this is coming from my friend who works there currently, so I don't know anything official yet. It's still pretty exciting though! If (and that's a big IF) my current job were to offer me the full time position... it would probably come down to income. Right now, I'm betting the work-from-home job is going to pay more. Wish me luck!

post #820 of 1166

Oh MAL!  That sounds so promising!

Fingers and toes and eyes crossed for you!


Work.  Meh.

I am tired of being a paramedic.

I really want the story website to take off and replace that income, but the costs at the front end are scary.  I have a meeting in half an hour with the web developer/graphic designer, and I have a cheque in my wallet ready to be filled out with the initial payment of $6k.  That's half the cost.

Phew.  Scary. 

Good news is that I sold the van!  Bad news is that I lost money on it.  Good news is that we have the cash to pay for the website!  Bad news is that DP is unemployed as of today.  Good news is that she has a working interview at a Zagat-rated restaurant this afternoon!  Bad news is that it'd likely be part time and lower pay.  Good news is that she'd have a blast and learn tons!  Bad news is that I want to quit the ambulance.  Good news is that we're flying to San Diego on Sunday for almost two weeks!  Bad news is that we won't be anywhere near San Fran being that we're not driving, so we won't get to see you this time, Cindy!  Good news is that I have tons of story ideas for the website!  Bad news is that I still need to pay for voice coaching and studio set-up and likely a new computer too.


I'm actually at the library right now, printing off the zillion pages included in the application to adopt.  It sounds like a total long shot, but I'm good at those (see website endeavour, adopting embryos, etc).  We've written a compelling cover letter and are going to submit the application before we leave.  Just need to get the contact info for the social worker from the foster family.  I spoke with a provincial adoption coordinator and she poo pooed the whole idea until I explained that we've know her since birth and that our children play with her all. the. time. and we were at her birthday and she was at H's, etc.  Apparently they're not going to like their closeness in age, but we're spinning that as a positive.  And they're not going to like that we live ten feet from the foster family, but again, spinning that as a positive.  It takes a village, right?


Hello to everyone! 

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