February '09 Mamas ~ Childhood Chat :) - Page 42

[Vegan Princess]

Awww, so bummed you won't be coming this way Starling!! You know I'm from San Diego, right? If I weren't heading to Hawaii this weekend, I would be super jealous. I have been craving to go home and visit. I probably won't make it home until summer bc we're going to go back to Indiana and visit DH's family before we head to SD. I would kill for some yummy mexican food right now! It's impossible to find acceptable mexican food in northern CA. Wish I knew you were going - I signed up for some free preschool annual pass to seaworld recently.  Seaworld is fun but SO expensive. The zoo there is huge and amazing but I've been wanting to check out the wild animal park - haven't been since I was a kid. If you want any tips on beaches or fun things to do or great places to get mexican food, just let me know. 

Hey starling question for you. When you stopped taking the domperidone but kept nursing, did you start losing weight? With Makenna I lost all the baby weight before I started taking dom. And then I lost 13 lbs more while on it. But this time I can't even get the baby weight off - which I think is the more normal situation. I'm cool with being a little extra fluffy if it means being able to exclusively breastfeed! But I do plan to wean off the dom when Aria is a yr old, like I did with M. M kept nursing just fine even though my supply tanked. I'm just wondering if maybe the weight will come off easily when I stop the dom but keep nursing? Or maybe it won't. Probably it won't. LOL. 

Nothing like preparing for a trip to hawaii by eating ice cream sundaes and valentines chocolates! :-) I bought a new bathing suit this weekend - one that covers the giant nursing boobs (or should i say BOOB bc one is WAY bigger than the other LOL) - that was an eye opening experience!

It's raining and M is sick. Cozy day.

Cindy

[Mal85]

Is second baby weight just harder to get rid of? I'm going with that because I'm still holding onto some of mine too! I started working out a few weeks ago and have been trying to be better about portion control and my snacking habit. Not sure if I've lost any, but I feel good. I also have a mirena and wonder if that has made it a little harder to lose the weight this time.

Starling, everything sounds so exciting for you right now! I live for that kind of stuff and can't wait to see where things fall for you. You strike me as someone who makes great choices, even when they're bold, so I know it'll all come together!

Winter storm headed our way later tomorrow. I'm hoping for snow days!

[Vegan Princess]

2nd baby weight has to be harder! I mean I know I am taking meds that make it hard to lose and make some people gain - but I totally lost weight on it last time. And I had mirena last time too. I had it put in 7 weeks after M was born. No BC this time. That same med also prevents ovulation so I now know I won't ovulate again until I start to wean off of it.

[mckittre]

Mal - Good luck! Which job would you rather have (if the money were the same)?

Starling - Sounds like a lovely kind of chaos, mostly. Hopefully more exciting than unnerving?

A 4-year-old parenting question here:

Cleaning: Do you get your kids to clean up after themselves? When? How? I try to get K to clean up his stuff, but with little luck and a lot of whining and crying and stalling most of the time. I have this sense that if there was some sort of consistent routine to it, that it would be easier, but I suck at those (and kind of suck at keeping a neat house myself), and just don't know how to make one work. My method of "ignore things until I can't stand it anymore then insist they clean up" isn't working too well. There aren't any natural transition times when we're at home, because they're always playing in the only room, so they're never obviously "done" and ready to put it all away. It would make sense to clean before we left the house, but getting them out the door is hard enough as it is -- I worry it would never happen if I made them clean first, and certainly never on a deadline. Or before dinner, but I'm cooking dinner, and can't enforce anything then...  I feel like K has to be nagged constantly to put away each toy - he will be distracted by playing with something he's picked up along the way approximately every 3 seconds. (truthfully, I was like this as a kid too - took me all day to clean my room). And as I'm focusing on him, L will be getting out more toys, rendering the whole thing a net negative. Please tell me there's a better option than just always doing it after they're asleep. It took me until well into adulthood to decide that it was more worthwhile to clean up my stuff than to live in constant mess, and I'm still on the messy end of things. But we live in too small a space for me to let the kids be so chaotic.

[Everrgreen]

Erin - This is an issue here too..  He has a lot of baskets/bins in his room for toys to go into so that simplifies it a little bit for him.  And I've helped him clean enough that he knows the process.  My pet peeve is when his toys start spreading into the rest of the house, which is fine if he's playing with them but I hate when they get left in the kitchen, bathroom, hallway, etc.  Like you said, cleaning up before heading out is just an added stress.  Before bed seems to work as part of a routine (and if he cleans up quickly we'll have time for a story or 2 stories instead of 1.. Some incentive!)  And if there's a toy somewhere in the house it shouldn't be I'll give it to him and tell he needs to put it away.  I even threatened once that if I had to clean up his mess it would be donated to some other boy or girl.  And he said "Ok, you clean it up and you can give it away!"  He didn't even care at all :/  Although I'm guessing he would have cared if his toys actually went missing..  It's hit or miss with him.  Sometimes he's so eager to please and other times he's so ridiculously stubborn.  

Cindy - I'm so jealous of your upcoming trip!!  I would love to escape winter for a little while. Or permanently.  I have dreams of moving to the Caribbean and working there :P  

Mal - Good luck with the job stuff!  It's stressful being in limbo!  I had an interview last Friday and another one yesterday.  Both figured they'd make a decision by Friday.  The one I had yesterday would be amazing and I'm so hoping I get it.

Starling - Wow, so much going on for you!  I hope the adoption goes smoothly.  I don't understand why they would have a problem with close ages and knowing the foster family.  Those sound like good things?  She'd go to a family she knows, that sounds like the best transition.  Fingers crossed for you!  And good luck with all the job changes for you and your dp, it's scary but exciting!!  :D

AFM:  I'm on my reading week and have lots of reviewing to do.  As well as stressing about if I've got a job.  I hate the post interview stress.  I keep analysing all the things I said, worrying about whether I said enough, or said the right things.  Gah!  I hate it.  

[starling&diesel]

Thanks for all the words of support, mamas!  It's scary times, a bit.  DP had a stage interview last night at a Zagat-rated place and she had a great time, but no job came of it.  They loved her, but told her to come back in May.  That's a bit too far away.

Cindy ... I've heard that dom speeds up the motility of food passing through your body (it's official use is as a digestive aid) so that you are more hungry more often when taking domperidone.  This has been true for me, but I haven't enjoyed the flip side of it when getting off the dom.  I never lost any weight. But I'm fluffy to begin with and my partner is a chef, so I'm fighting a battle anyway.  I do have several friends who lost weight as soon as they stopped the dom.  I feel like I gained less this time around by NOT being on dom for very long, if that counts.  I was insatiably hungry when I took dom.

Erin ...

I chimed in on a thread in Childhood Years that might be an interesting read on this subject.  It's here.    It's about how to 'expect' kids to do something, or 'not give them a choice' and I appreciated it for the conversations around the 'waiting for the bus' theory.  Most of the conversation is around tasks like getting dressed, ready to go, etc, but I do think it applies to helping around the house too.

I won't reiterate the whole thing here, but the gist is that if it's as expected and inevitable as the bus coming, it will happen.  This works for us, mostly.  

Clean-up time for us is after lunch/before nap, and after dinner/before bed.  

Most times, because it is so predictable, E is happy to help without prompting.  I might say to her, "Will you put away the books or the blocks?" and she'll choose, but mostly she jumps in and grabs something to put away.  With H, I direct him to something and tell him to put it away.  He likes to put away the flashlights (popular toy here), his babies, and library books.  He also likes to be the designated garbageman.  He loves putting trash into the garbage.

I expect them to help clean, just like I expect them to go to bed at night, or wear a seatbelt.  We don't do rewards or anything, but I do a lot of 'waiting for the bus.'

Say it, then wait and know that it will happen.  I don't engage in a debate, just carry on with my part of the task, and then sit back and wait and don't move on until they've done their part (I help with H sometimes).  If it goes on for long, I'll say something that scales back the choreness of it and narrows her focus from 'clean up' to a more specific task, "We'll go up for quiet time when you've put away that red block and that blue blanket."

I really do lean on the Continuum Concept for this kind of thing.  I expect my kids to be capable and contributing members of our tribe, as much as their developmental stages allow.

Both kids know when clean-up time is.  It's never a number on the clock, but it is a predictable place within the rhythm of the day.

That being said:  

- we don't have a lot of toys, etc, and our living space on the main floor is less than 400 sq ft, so we *have* to have it tidy.  My kids will not play anywhere other than the living room, even though there are two perfectly good and kid-friendly rooms on the second floor.

- I can't function in chaos or clutter.  So I've invested in this big-time, because if I don't, I get really cranky and fairly unbearable to be around.

- I also believe that it's part of my job as a homelearning parent to do the lion's share of cleaning up.  If the kids were at daycare or school, the staff would do a lot of cleaning and tidying up behind the kids (the kids would help too, of course) after having set up a craft or had a play time.  I keep this in the back of my mind when it occurs to me how much cleaning up after them I do.  Secretly though, I like cleaning.  That helps.

I could go on and on about this subject, but I've got to go an do some edits.

[mckittre]

Everr - Hope you get one of those jobs!

Cleaning:  Starling - I do get the "expect it and wait, and it will happen" thing in many cases. I expect that K will walk places by himself, go to bed, let me get him ready to go, etc... And mostly it happens. But it really breaks down when I have to expect some specific action from him that he deems boring and not worth doing for himself. ( I think L dresses and undresses herself better than he does). If we're hiking somewhere, and he decides not to walk, we're just stuck there until he does - waiting works. If it's bedtime, and he doesn't want to climb to bed, I can lift him up (hasn't ever been necessary). If I sit down and wait for him to do his part of the cleaning, he'll be distracted by one of the things that he's supposed to clean up, and start playing with it, and never do it. How do you make your kids care to "move on" to the next thing? (unless the next thing is a bowl of ice cream, or some other bribe, which I don't like doing). I suppose I could get L dressed and head out of the house without him, but that will backfire quickly if he decides he really does want to stay home alone!

I'm sure the whole "rhythm" thing is part of it. But middle-of-the-day rhythm does not work for our family at all. We have breakfast, then morning project time (usually), then chaos (either leaving the house all day starting in late morning, or random playtime with an afternoon outing thrown in, midday meals are usually a series of snacks), then dinner prep, dinner, hang out with aunt and grandma after dinner (they eat with us and we all hang out), then bed. I wonder if clean-up time could work if it wasn't at the same time every day?

[justKate]

Ever and Mal, fingers crossed for happy job news!  Ever--Key West maybe?

Cindy, I'm jealous. Never been to Hawaii...probably will be a good long time before we get there.  

Cleaning--we pick up at transitions.  So when she's done with markers at the table, we put them away before she starts the next thing. It takes some encouragement, but usually she's ready for the next thing, like lunch...if she needs persuasion I remind her she can help make lunch if she finishes putting things away. But I see where it could be harder in your situation Erin. 

I have calmed down somewhat about my MIL being here. Also been thinking about another baby.  But that's crazy talk, right?  AF isn't even back.  DH needs to hurry up and get a V.  

[Thursday Girl]

Originally Posted by mckittre 

Mal - Good luck! Which job would you rather have (if the money were the same)?

Starling - Sounds like a lovely kind of chaos, mostly. Hopefully more exciting than unnerving?

A 4-year-old parenting question here:

Cleaning: Do you get your kids to clean up after themselves? When? How? I try to get K to clean up his stuff, but with little luck and a lot of whining and crying and stalling most of the time. I have this sense that if there was some sort of consistent routine to it, that it would be easier, but I suck at those (and kind of suck at keeping a neat house myself), and just don't know how to make one work. My method of "ignore things until I can't stand it anymore then insist they clean up" isn't working too well. There aren't any natural transition times when we're at home, because they're always playing in the only room, so they're never obviously "done" and ready to put it all away. It would make sense to clean before we left the house, but getting them out the door is hard enough as it is -- I worry it would never happen if I made them clean first, and certainly never on a deadline. Or before dinner, but I'm cooking dinner, and can't enforce anything then...  I feel like K has to be nagged constantly to put away each toy - he will be distracted by playing with something he's picked up along the way approximately every 3 seconds. (truthfully, I was like this as a kid too - took me all day to clean my room). And as I'm focusing on him, L will be getting out more toys, rendering the whole thing a net negative. Please tell me there's a better option than just always doing it after they're asleep. It took me until well into adulthood to decide that it was more worthwhile to clean up my stuff than to live in constant mess, and I'm still on the messy end of things. But we live in too small a space for me to let the kids be so chaotic.

I'm struggling with this problem too. soon I hope to make checklists. Stuff we do before school, stuff we do after school and stuff we do before bed. (now I just need time to make checklists) I cover the paper in  contact paper or put it in a clear sleeve so we can mark with a dry erase marker. They, I have found, enjoy the responsibility of doing it and marking it off. Plus if you say,  "okay it's time for our checklists, let's go look"  they take it better then YOU telling them "you need to pick up this and this"

[Thursday Girl]

Mal- that museum sounds like loads of fun. Also I would have been a bit miffed, sometimes I got the sense that my sisters would get overwhelmed by my kids. I then try to remember that I get overwhelemed by other peoples kids sometimes. Also that childless people are in such a different place it really can be overwhelming even when brimming with love.

Kate- another kid, that'd be fun. I NEED to get on birth control before I think that's a good idea. J/K I am so not ready for another kid anytime soon, but I haven't ruled it out completely.

Erin- I saw the birthday pics, looks so fun, especially loved the one of him bobbing for the apple.

Okay back to my homework I'll catch up some more ;later.

[Thursday Girl]

2nd baby weight- I lost it quicker; but I was also walking a lot more than with any of the others b/c my car didn't fit both babies and if I was going anywhere I was walking. I still have Coraline baby weight, 10.5 months latyer

[starling&diesel]

Originally Posted by mckittre 

Everr - Hope you get one of those jobs!

Cleaning:  Starling -  How do you make your kids care to "move on" to the next thing? (unless the next thing is a bowl of ice cream, or some other bribe, which I don't like doing). I suppose I could get L dressed and head out of the house without him, but that will backfire quickly if he decides he really does want to stay home alone!

I'm sure the whole "rhythm" thing is part of it. But middle-of-the-day rhythm does not work for our family at all. We have breakfast, then morning project time (usually), then chaos (either leaving the house all day starting in late morning, or random playtime with an afternoon outing thrown in, midday meals are usually a series of snacks), then dinner prep, dinner, hang out with aunt and grandma after dinner (they eat with us and we all hang out), then bed. I wonder if clean-up time could work if it wasn't at the same time every day?

Yeah, I'm with you on not having bribes at all.  I think that'd backfire with most kids. I think our rhythm mostly works because we've been doing for so long, and it 'feels' right to E and so she goes along with it.  So perhaps it's a matter of 'faking it' for now?  Put on a timer and an excellent song and clean up for just three minutes?  The song works for us when we've run out of steam.  I also don't clean up *before* meals in case any of us are wallowing in low blood sugar (usually me!). 

[Mal85]

Originally Posted by mckittre 

Mal - Good luck! Which job would you rather have (if the money were the same)?

That's the big question, right? Honestly, the money at the work-from-home job would be fantastic, but it's not really necessary. It's much more than we need for me to go full-time. That is a good thing, yes, but it's not necessarily the career I would choose. It would be a means to an end. If the school I work for were to offer me a full-time position and listen to my ideas on how to restructure the classroom and shift from traditional teaching style to a more modernized center-based teaching style (personally, I'm invisioning something like a mix between Reggio and Montessori) and support those ideas... I would choose to stay where I am. I mean, ultimately that would mean I get to run my own preschool program, which would be a dream job for me! And, actually, I had a meeting this week with the kindergarten teacher and the principal to discuss some of this, and I am getting a lot more support than I expected! The principal has set up a meeting with the board and wants us to attend, but it's the same day I leave for a conference. So, he was going to call in a favor with the board president and see if she would meet with the 3 of us to get my input and be able to communicate that to the board for me. The principal more or less told me if we can get the numbers to work (we're playing with enrollment numbers and tuition right now), he thinks the board will go for it. Very exciting!! I also just got a call for an interview at the other job. So, holy crap, stuff is happening!

Everr: Good luck on your job hunting and keep us posted! 

Cleaning: If you ladies ever figure this one out, let me know would you? Right now, we try to do it at transition times. Before lunch, before Greta's nap, before bed. I end up doing most of it though. We have organizers and bins in her room and she knows where things go, but doesn't like to do it by herself. The only motivation I have found so far that works is that she has some toys she doesn't want Greta to get ahold of. So, she'll put those away to keep them away from her sister. I like the idea of putting things into separate piles for her. I may try that one.

[AKislandgirl]

So much change going on! New potential jobs, babies (or bigger babies!), school, businesses, houses. Spring is in the air! Sending love and luck out to each and everyone of you!

Clean up- I clean up with them and we do it in the afternoon after naps and rest time and then move onto some kind of project like paining. That way there is something to look forward to when the work is done. We aren't perfect by any means- our house looks very lived in! LOL! But they know where things go which is a big part of it.

I mentioned opening a home business here in the past. We have decided to go for it! I'm really excited. Thanks to tax return $ we have our start up. I'm falling short on coming up with a good name though. I will start by selling Grimms brand toys, amber necklaces, and possibly bolga baskets. Hope to add stockmar art supplies and Ruskovilla woollies. Some of which will be done by preoder. I'll just have samples of the wool things from Ruskovilla (in my kids sizes!) to show people and then can order the size they need.That is if I hear back from Rusko- but the others are already in the works. I would love some ideas on names!!! Seriously, my ideas are really bad!

[Vegan Princess]

So exciting in here lately!! 

Sue: yay, way to go starting up your home business! That is awesome!! Sounds like a fun business.

Kate: Wow, I almost missed the thing about a 3rd baby!! I had to go back and reread. What's crazy is that we could be on 3rd babies around here and we are still chatting away from our first! :-) I don't think it's too crazy. Maybe a bit crazy. I think about a 3rd all the time. Though sometimes I think it's an insane idea. But it's much less likely to ever become a reality for us with the need to do IVF, etc. Thank god I'm not fertile myrtle over here or we'd have too many! LOL. 

Starling: Happy travels! Give my family a hug from me!

AFM: DH interviewed with his old co this week. They have since been bought by a large multi-national company. They might need him in Portland or San Diego. We aren't looking to move and the idea makes me sad - even if it were to SD. But if he did have a good opp in SD I think we might seriously consider taking it, since my family and good friends are there. The position wouldn't be temp but I would only want to move for a few yrs. I do love it up here where we are. But I think DH still much prefers to find something up here. And his old co may even need him up here. We are still waiting to hear from the job he interviewed for 2 weeks ago that would be 10 minutes from home - I'm very much still hoping he gets that one!

I am almost 100% packed and ready for Hawaii! Still feels unreal that we are going. I'm a bit worried about the flights. M has been sick this week and got Aria a bit sick. Hopefully their congestion doesn't do a number on their ears! 

Cindy

[Everrgreen]

Well I didn't get either of the jobs I interviewed for :(  It's so competitive it's ridiculous.  I was so prepared for both, but it's all a checklist sytem. You have to say enough of the right key words they want you to say.  Frustrating.  The position in my hometown still hasn't called about interviews but hopefully I'll get an interview there.  And now that I've had some practice and understand how it works I'll hopefully get it.  I just have to sit there and keep talking for as long as possible :P

Good luck to everyone else with the job stuff/new business, very exciting!

Cindy - Have fun in Hawaii!  Soooo jealous!

I have 4 midterms this week, not fun.  

[Thursday Girl]

Everr- sorry about the jobs.  and holy wow, 4 midterms! Are they at least on different days? I just had one midterm this semester since my math class has 3 tests instead of two and my english class has us turn in multiple essays. I'm struggling to get all the college stuff done and take care of the kids and now it's science fair time AND girl scout cookie time. Hubs works way too much, wo while he is super helpful when he's around he isn't often around.

Cindy- can't wait to see pics, I'm sure the girls will do great on the plane.

Sue- what are your thoughts on names, maybe we can work from there?

Mal- I wish you could teach my kids.

[mckittre]

Everr - sorry about the jobs. It must be so nerve racking to be in such a competitive field! Fingers crossed for the next interview.

Courtney - Sounds crazy busy at your house. Hopefully at least the fair and the cookies are somewhat fun.

Cindy - Fingers crossed for the close-to-home job for your DH. Having to move for a job can be so disruptive to a sense of community and being settled when you find somewhere you like. Hope you can stay put. And have fun in Hawaii.

Mal - I hope you do get to run your own preschool program!  That's exciting that they'd consider giving you that much control.  Would you teach your own kids, if you did have that control? Or would you rather separate those parts of your life?

Sue - Exciting about the business. And sorry, I can't help with names. I hate titling things (my least favorite part of being an author, really). 

Cleaning: I've been attempting to stick to getting them to get everything off the floor at least once a day, and haven't had quite as much resistance the past few days as I did before. So maybe this "fake it till you make it" approach will work, as frustrating as it can be sometimes.

AFM: Getting into crazy busy mode here. We're leaving on a 4-month expedition in less than a month! So I'm scrambling to order and/or make all the gear we need, trying to figure out what we'll be eating, how we'll get the food to the places we need it, contacts, etc...  Meanwhile, I also need to finish the copyediting on my book in the next couple days, do all the taxes/paperwork stuff that needs to be done between now and July, renew the kids' health insurance, take the pieces of the non-profit that we usually do and assign them to other folks while we're gone, and probably a bunch more I'm forgetting. And it seems like all the kids in town have been sick all winter. I keep thinking Katmai's getting better and he keeps getting a little sick again, and now Lituya's really under the weather with whatever it is.

[AKislandgirl]

Mal: I hope things go well with the preschool. Sounds like it could be pretty amazing!

Cindy: Have fun on your trip! I'd love to be heading to Hawaii right now! I too would have trouble with a bathing suit though. Maeve pretty much refuses to nurse on my right side so I have one big boob and one itty bitty boob. Lovely! Especially since if she is anything like her sisiter we have years of nursing ahead of us!

Everr: Crossing fingers on the hometown job! And your midterms! Stressful! Thinking about you Mama!

Erin: Good luck on all the prep! Your list had my brain spinning!

Starling: I hope you are enjoying some sunshine in Cali! I'll be thinking about your family and hoping the adoption goes through!

Business name- I'm getting closer. Thinking about something with Little Bird in it. Has meaning for our family and is simple and easy to remember and can make a nice logo. But Little Bird Toys and Gifts? Little BIrd Naturals? Little Bird Natural Toys? I won't be just selling toys though... 

[Thursday Girl]

I like little bird naturals since you will be selling things besides just toys. plus little bird toys had a facebook page http://www.facebook.com/pages/Little-Bird-Toys/247052062068772