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February '09 Mamas ~ Childhood Chat :) - Page 48

post #941 of 1166
Thread Starter 

Courtney - Huge hugs!  I agree with everything Starling and Mal said.  You are sooo NOT a loser, you are an amazing mother.  Anyone would feel the way you do with the stresses you have.  Definitely use this place to let out all your thoughts, sometimes it helps just to acknowledge how you're feeling.  To answer your more practical questions, a night job along with daytime school and parenting would be too much in my opinion...  Unless you were to cut school down to maybe just one course at a time?  Or leave school completely until Coraline is in JK.  Is it not possible to get daycare subsidies where you are?  It's hard for me to give advice because I don't know how things work in the US..  Is there a different education plan that might get you into a good job quicker?  I know there are some jobs that you can train for in less than a year (a friend of mine is a medical secretary making decent money and it was only an 8 month program).  Then you can consider your bigger educational plans when you're kids are older.  This would also be a benefit to help you be financially independent, which I think is always a good thing married or not.  Also, I must say that there is nothing wrong with doing the bare minimum to get by.  My dinner plan could best be described as 'scavenging', whatever is around, it's food, we're good :P  And I rarely ever take R to a park or play with him or do any super involved parenting (he still has fun, he hangs out with me, plays on his own).  I go through phases of having more or less energy (usually less..) and R is still thriving.  Maybe you can give yourself a break for a bit?  


Anyway, I'm just throwing out my thoughts.  Life can be a real struggle sometimes, so I understand how you're feeling right now.


Mal - That would be awesome for everyone to come visit me!!!!  And I'd gladly make a trip for a group meet, that would be such a fun time :)

post #942 of 1166

Thanks Ladies, for listening. I can't take time off school, I got student loans and I can't pay them yet. I just need to stay in school, take care of the kids and move forward. A year until I can apply for the nursing program, which is two years, then I can get a job. then  work while I get another degree. Then after that we'll have to move to Gainesville so I can go to the midwifery/nurse practitioner program. I just need my husband to do something different from what he is doing. He needs to make a plan and make something happen. The work he is doing is not working out and I don't think it ever will. I told him, nicely, a little about how I feel and he has been responsive. He has until I become a nurse to figure out what the heck he is doing. If he stays doing the same stuff as now, working his ass off while still leaving us in the situation we are in I'll leave. I can't respect someone that won't change his trajectory in order to take care of his family. Even if whatever he chooses next doesn't work, I just need him to TRY!  Everything in his life, work wise, has fallen in his lap. He became a golf caddy b/c he had a friend, he became a plumber when a friend got him hooked up with a plumbing company during the summer while golf was slow. He got into solar because the opportunity fell in his lap. I need him to grab life by the horns and make whatever it is he wants to happen happen,


A group meet would be awesome. Someday we'll go back up to seattle-area to see my in laws. 


Sue, that's funny about the dresses. jewel used to wear layers and layers of clothes.  She'd look like a linebacker. 


alright, I better go do homework and study for this test tonight. 

post #943 of 1166

That sounds really hopeful, Courtney!

How are things this week ... ?


Cindy ... Do you still have any LAs by any chance?  I have a mothering acquaintance on the hunt.  Yours are probably long gone, but I thought I'd check.  Yay for more supply the second time around!  Whoo hoo!


AFM:  Still studiously ignoring the fact that I'm a paramedic, but reluctant to do the deed and resign.  Think it's coming soon.  Busy with lots of creative stuff, writing, illustrating, etc.  Getting close to finishing the audiostory website! 

post #944 of 1166

Starling: PM me. I still have everything. All the LAs you sent plus the ones I already had. I'm not ready to part with all of them yet but definitely would be able to send a few to someone else. I still have a fear that I'll need them - mostly bc Aria doesn't really take a bottle and if she ever needs extra fluids it would likely need to be at the breast. 

post #945 of 1166
Thread Starter 

Hello!  How is everyone doing??  Things are good here!  Work is sooo busy but I love the job.  Still not sure if they'll be keeping me and my contract ends mid August.  But I love the work and I'm sure I'll find a position somewhere once I'm certified.  I'm finding myself seriously lacking time to do anything.  Technically I have an hour or two in the evening once Royce is asleep, but by then I'm physically and mentally exhausted.  I have to have 2 reports written (on my own time) by mid August for my certification and it's hard to find the energy to do them.  Blah, anyway, it'll get done I'm sure.


R is doing well.  He's busy as always.  And challenging :/  He is so sassy and he'll just scream at me if I don't agree to whatever it is he wants.  It's so frustrating!  Nothing works with him.  Well, other than bribery.  But I can't always be offering him treats just to behave how he should be.  He also will do/say bad things and then say it was his imaginary friend that made him say/do whatever it was.  And father's day was a bit rough/heartbreaking.  I don't know how to answer his questions :(  I actually have been thinking of getting him in to see a therapist.  Maybe I'm overreacting.  I don't know.


How about everyone else?? 

post #946 of 1166
Everr: Glad to hear work is going so well! It makes it so much easier when you live what you do! I live my job, but I have to say I am so glad I am off right now! The last few months of the school year were so incredibly stressful, I have needed this break so badly!

Things here are going well. I am glad to be home with the girls, but spending the whole summer with them makes me appreciate my job so much more! We're just all out of our routine which leads to more power struggles. I don't have it in my to even try to establish new routines. I know by the time we got a new routine well established, it would be time to go back to work and change it all again. I also have a house full of other people's kids here on random days throughout the week, so that makes it even harder to have our own routine. Taking on some daycare kids this summer has only validated even more that I am so glad I decide to get a job outside the home rather than continuing with the daycare thing full time. I'm just not enjoying it very much and feel like I am missing up on my "break" and not able to do as much with my girls as I would like. I know I have to do it though, I really don't have a choice. Everything I bring in is hoping us get closer to our new house, so it worth it.

I can't believe it's almost the end of June already! This summer is flying by. I knew it would. We had our trip, then a couple weeks of normal before we were heads back to St. Louis for their USA reception. It was fun as always and I'm glad we went, but it's always hard to get back to normal. Now, we've been invited on a float trip about a dozen times. At first we said no, we probably shouldn't spend the money. But to be honest, I will gladly take any break I can get from being at my parents house. My mom is driving me batty and I am really missing our independence. DH loves it here. We're saving money, the girls are loving their time with their grandparents, etc. Those are good things, yes, but my mom has trouble with boundaries and feels the need to comment on anything we/I do that she doesn't agree with, especially when it comes to my parenting decisions. Ugh... We're on track to make a new offer on the house we want by August. It can't come soon enough!
post #947 of 1166

Hi Mamas! I need your help. Your good thoughts, good vibes, prayers... whatever you've got. I just got a BFP (!!!!) and I just need this to be a sticky baby. I actually have already felt some symptoms which I will take as a good sign. With the miscarriage I just didn't feel anything. But a few moments of queezy here and there, noticing I didn't want to finish a beer, coffee cups left undrunk, falling asleep at 8:00 with the kids a couple nights in a row... Made me decide to test. I was only 11dpo yesterday but got a faint line mid day. This morning tested again with a digital. No doubt! Crossing fingers Mamas! It will be quite a few weeks before we are ready to share the news but I wanted to tell you ladies and get the good vibes coming my way! Love you guys! 

post #948 of 1166

Sue:!!!! Yay!!!! Many congrats! Maybe you should have your progesterone levels tested? Clomid often fixes any progesterone issues before they start and since this babe and the one you lost were conceived without clomid, perhaps you could use some extra progesterone? Or not - hopefully everything is absolutely normal. I'll be praying for you! I am so happy for you!!!


The 3rd child issue is on my mind so much these days but I often waffle on what my choice is. LOL. DH doesn't seem to be 100% sure either way either. He started riding his bike to and from work and said something about it hurting him - "good thing we are *probably* done have kids". LOL. I kinda feel like chatting with my IVF doc and getting his thoughts. I think my big issue though is I like this big spacing between kids and we would have to have them closer together bc time is DEF not on my side.


We are good around here. M is on summer break. She has summer school next week and the last week in July. Our trip to Indiana was fast but really nice. There are 3 cousins at my inlaws - 10 mos, 3 and 5. So she played with the 3 and 5 yr old a lot. My sister visited with her girls for an afternoon. Her girls are 6,9 and 14. We'll go down to San Diego towards the end of August. My brother has 11 kids over there - the 7 yr old is Makenna's favorite. We'll do seaworld, wild animal park and the beach.


Makenna now refers to herself as "the nenna". It's so funny. She has always called herself Nenna instead of Makenna. But now she uses the 3rd person instead of the 1st. And she has added "the". So she'll say "the nenna is thirsty". It totally cracks us up. Not sure how long this 3rd person phase is gonna last. Anyone else's kids do this?



post #949 of 1166
Thread Starter 

Sue - Congrats!!  Thinking of you sending a TON of sticky vibes :D


Cindy - lol, that's hilarious!!  R says the weirdest things sometimes.  He has called me 'brother' a couple times (the slang/best buddy type of brother...)  I have no idea where he got that from but it was so funny.  


Mal - I understand your desire to get out and back into your own place.  I would too!  Saving money is great, but so is privacy :P


All this 3rd baby talk makes my heart ache to have a 2nd.  I think I'd only be open to that if it happens within the next few years.  After that I'm not sure I'll want to restart from scratch when R is so much older.  I have only one guy with any potential right now.  My fwb (and the bus guy, if you remember that) :P  It's a very weird relationship.  But I kind of like what we have and I could see us having a fun life together if it came to that.  Time will tell I guess.  I'm open to dating other people but that just has never happened.

post #950 of 1166

SUE!!! So exciting!  

Do go get your progesterone levels checked.  Maybe a bunch of weeks with twat pills (progesterone suppositories) would do the trick?

Here are some sticky, sticky vibes!  Stick to the pole, baby!!!


And helped along with some fairygodmother dust from my sparkly wand! dust.gif


And because it's tradition in the Queer Conceptions board whenever anyone gets a BFP ... a parade of dancing veggies!



post #951 of 1166
SUE!!!! I am SO excited for you!! Stick, baby, stick! I was also wondering about checking your progesterone. Oh, I am just so happy for you right now!

Re: Third baby. Nope. No. Not right now. No thank you. It's weird because all my life, I always wanted to have babies. Even when I was growing up, it was all about when I was at the point to be ready to have babies. I wanted Owyn so very badly. I wanted my second baby immediately after having the first. we tried hard for Greta. I had that strong baby urge all my adult life. Now, I don't have that even a smidgen. Now, I am still open to the idea that my feelings may change over time. I still every now and then think to myself " When we have the next baby..." But, seriously. Not right now.
post #952 of 1166

LOL Mal! :-)


Everr: Bus guy is still in the picture? Whoah! :-) I hope that a 2nd baby happens for you bc I know that ache of wanting one! You never know though - you may write off the idea bc it's taking too long and then eventually get married again and revisit the idea. You still have time!



post #953 of 1166
I need some positive vibes coming my way, ladies! DH and I decided to contact a new real estate agent since our contract with the other expired. So we got in touch with the agent that is working on the house we really want. The one we've made several offers on already. We figured if she is looking at getting the full commission on the sale then maybe she'd be more motivated and be able to work some magic. Plus the fact that she is known in town for being a very aggressive agent and getting the job done. So, we contacted her yesterday and she is very excited about it. She was going to contact the sellers last night and see what she could do. We could wait and have the money to meet them where they are at by the end of the summer, but we'd obviously rather pay less for the house if we can. And it'd be so great if we could get out of my parents house sooner rather than later!
post #954 of 1166

Thanks Mamas! We are so excited. It is still sinking in. We will wait several weeks to share with the girls I think. Although , I could do it. SHe sometimes I think I might burst with the news. Fiona talked about the baby in my belly the day before I even tested. Sort of weird.  I also talked to my Dr today about progesterone. She said if I wanted it she could do it. IF I wanted to get tested today that she could get me in. My first appointment is July 1st. I decided to just go with that. She and I both think I'm not nececarily in need of it and it is one of those things that is a bit unproven as to weather it helps prevent miscarriage or not. More often used for IVF patients or someone with recurrent miscariages. My gut tells me everything is fine. She said that is the best sign! Along with the falling asleep at 7:30pm and morning sickness that has started before even hitting 4 weeks!  She left it up to me and I have decided to just trust that it will be ok.

Mal: FIngers crossed you get into a new house soon. I could not live with my Mother!


Forgive my typos. Having major computer issues around here!


post #955 of 1166

Sue- so exciting, I am thinking sticky, sticky thoughts!! 


Mal- crossing my fingers for the house. Switching real estate agents seems promising. 


 Adding another child- I sent Coraline to daycare and just hung at the house with the big girls one day and it solidifieid the fact that i don't want to deal with little babies anymore. I am just ready to move onto other things. I am waiting on a call from the gyn to schedule the insertion of one of those t-shaped things which i know what it is called but I am totally blanking, you know mirena..oh yeah IUD. 


Us- we are still so freaking broke it's insane.But we aren't as desperate as we were, i feel like there is hope now; before I was afraid we were goign to lose everything. I'm selling that awesome co-sleeper I won b/c we just NEED money, I'm thinking of selling that stokke I picked up for $5 but June is resistant. Nothing has been turned off again thanks to my sister paying my electric bill but now on top of the other bills that are due we owe so many people money.  I'm really thinking I might need to get a job or something. But I can't imagine school, kids, and an overnight job. I know it's crazy but I just feel like we need to do SOMETHING! I think I am also going to cancel my cellphone, that would save $50.00. a month.  other than that, the school year is over and I am loving just hanging with the girls, I only have one class so I feel like I have so much free time. juniper is hilarious.   She correctly used shall in a sentence. ( We shall do this at my birthday party. yes, she is planning her birthday party.) okay, Coraline needs me.  

post #956 of 1166

I applied for a night position at the starbucks down the street from me.  And hey if I get the job one of the perks is a pound of coffee every week and if I'm working nights I could sure use it. LOL.

post #957 of 1166

Nights, like late?  Or is it 24 hours?

I've heard that Starbucks is a really good employer.  Or, that's the word around here, anyway.

Good luck!



Sue ... How's our wee bairn?  


Mal ... Housing update?

post #958 of 1166

My nephew worked at Starbucks for a while. He loved it!  Good luck!!

I'm doing well! A little sick and really tired. Yeah! I'll take it. I have an appointment next week and then we are going to tell the kiddos. I want to tell them before DH goes out to sea on the 12th. I'm sort of bursting at the seems a bit. it's hard to not share the news! I don't want to tell DH's family until after he is back from sea because I just can't deal with his mother calling to "check on me." I really can't! My gut tells me everything is fine with the babe though.  Really feeling so happy about this. :) 

Today is our 8 year anniversary. I'm going to go clean the house as my gift to DH and make him a card. Then we are making pizza for the kids (allergy friendly) and getting take out pizza and apps for us from the yummy place in town. 

Fiona has spent the last 5 nights sleeping in her own room! So awesome! She just decided on her own to start and told me she is going to do it for 100 nights! DH is on retucking duty when her blankies aren't right. Which is often since she is such a restless sleeper. But this is huge progress and I love that it is all coming from her. Once I know that this new routine is firmly planted I'm going to work on moving Maeve to the sidecarred twin bed in our room. Likely it will just start as part of the night which is how it was with F and hopefully by the time baby arrives she is there till morning. We shall see what she thinks of this plan though! :)


post #959 of 1166

Oh, Sue ... SO GREAT to hear that your mama-instincts are ticking along smoothly.

And WOW about Maeve being in her own room!  Of her own accord!  That is AWESOME!  

post #960 of 1166
Courtney, hope the job goes well! You rock, mama!

Sue: So glad to hear things are going well so far. I am so bad at keeping that stuff a secret, I would be bursting too!! And yay for Fiona!

No house update so far. We sent over the official offer Monday night. The agent made it sound like it's in the bag and was ready to go ahead and schedule an inspection for this week and everything. We were hoping to get a response yesterday, but nothing yet. The sellers have until noon today to give us their answer. I'm trying not to get my hopes up too high, since we've been so close to getting this house so many times now and it didn't happen. We will see what happens today...
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