Older children and birth tubs

[lisad1]

I'm planning a home waterbirth any day now and my 4.5 yo dd will likely be here during the birth. She wants to know if she can come into the birth tub to help me. I know I've seen adult birth partners in the birth tub but wondering if there's any reason why my daughter shouldn't be allowed in? Also, if anyone's had a homebirth/waterbirth experience with a 4/5 yo sibling present, would you care to share how your older child participated? Thanks!

[wanderinblues]

i dont have any experience, but my 4.5 year old DSD will also be at the birth and she is so drawn to water, i think i would have a hard time keeping her out lol

i plan to let her come in if i feel like it during labour because i know she wants to help too, but when the baby is being born, i doubt i will want anyone in there with me.

i dont see any reason why kids shouldnt be allowed in the pool with you :)

[XanaduMama]

I feel like the main potential "problem" might be that you could find her presence in the pool too distracting/annoying, especially late in labor. Personally, I wouldn't even want my dh in there with me! But obviously that's your call, and you may not know ahead of time how you'll feel, so perhaps work on some contingency plans about how to communicate to her (or her "helper") that mama needs to be alone, if that's how you're feeling in the moment. You should definitely talk to her in detail about what to expect if she's in the water (including things like, potentially, blood or poop in the water) or just watching from the sidelines (noises you might make, stuff like that), and maybe watch a bunch of waterbirth videos on youtube or similar.

ds was 27mo when dd was born (home waterbirth), and although he wasn't in the pool with me, he was very cool with all of it. Planning to have my 6yo and 4yo present at their brother's birth this summer, too.

[uwritegirl]

Potentially I would think about whether a kid's presence in the pool would 1) make me feel differently, and 2) introduce any bacteria into the water that might not otherwise have been there.

I love my 4yrold, but she wipes herself after potty and let's just say she hasn't absolutely perfected the art.  Different with a grown person.

I think involving the kids is great, and i have at my last births and also will at this next one.  But kids do unpredictable things, and they feel and act out their own emotions/stress/interpretation of the situation much differently than an adult.

That being said, if you still feel strongly about it . . . do what you like!

You could also put your birth tub close to somewhere where you child could be very much in the view - like next to the bed or couch, somewhere comfy they could kind of jump around and not bother you so much but still be able to be very in the moment.

[hapersmion]

I let my four-year-old come into the birth tub while I was pushing.  He was very excited and splashy, and I think the midwife wanted to send him out, but I didn't mind.  I liked having him there.  :)  It all really depends on your kid and your reaction to her behavior.