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Getting out of debt in MARCH! - Page 2

post #21 of 68
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by lilgreenmama View Post

Do any of you guys have tips to get DH on board? I'm saving and scrimping but he makes more $$ than I do, and I feel like I'm not getting anywhere. :(



I told him we had being doing it his way for forever, so to give me ONE month.

 

In that month a lot of good stuff happened (created a budget, reduced spending, and came out ahead at the end) and we put in place all the ground work (i.e. goals and budget) so to continue with it the folllowing month was easy. Talking about those ideal goals and just aiming for them (even if you fall short) at least gets you moving towards a target instead of drifting aimlessly and getting nowhere but backwards.

 

 

 

post #22 of 68

I found that DH got more on board each time we had "budget committee meetings".  We do so each time he gets paid (every two weeks) and when I get paid (the 20th of each month).  I try to keep them short and make sure there is something we change to keep him involved.  We haven't over drafted our checking account in several months and that is the best part so far as we have just started our debt snowball.

post #23 of 68

Men seem to respond well to books left quietly on the toilet. 2whistle.gif

 

Total Money Makeover is very motivating.

post #24 of 68

For me what's helped me with DH most is not bailing him out.  I've always been in charge of the budget, but he's always been sort of, spoiled, I guess.  He knew how much he had to spend that month, but if he didn't stick in the budget, oh well.  I'd take it out of my allowance.  Or if he wanted an extravagent gift for himself (like a new computer or a Lazy Boy or something) I'd shift things around the budget so it could happen.  It wouldn't work like that for ME, but I guess I was trying to... well, it's hard for me to admit, but I guess on some level I thought he would love me more if I let him get the "stuff" he wanted.  I even let him talk me into buying a money-sink SUV instead of a more economical car because his face just lit up when he saw it.  He has severe depression so it's rare that he ever registers as happy.  I think this played into it a lot.


It also helped that if DH's toys used up our savings, my mom would help us out financially if there was something we needed, like a medical treatment or something.  That wasn't cool and it was a cycle I was trying to break.  Finally I convinced her to stop throwing money at us and let us grow up, sort of, and she did.  Now DH and I have more money coming in but also more bills, and no mental safety net of, well, my mother will bail us out if anything gets TOO bad.  It helped when I sat him down and went through the budget with him.  Before, he was of the mindset that "poor people don't budget" - an attitude he grew up with.  If there wasn't enough money to pay the bills, then why bother being frugal at all, get what you can when you can because you might not be able to tomorrow, etc.  Money in the bank can evaporate faster than a sofa can, or whatever.  But now that he sees that we ARE capable of paying our way, and that we just need some self-discipline, but it is do-able, and we can work as a team to get things done... he's a lot better about things.  He actually sticks within budget.  Yay.  (Now if he'd only give up his cigarettes he could actually spend his "allowance" on other things than his addiction, but whatever, that's his choice to make.)

post #25 of 68
Here's DR's plan:

Pre-Step 1: Get current on your debts and do a budget
0.1 No new borrowing. check
0.2 Talk with spouse and get him/her on the same page as you concerning finances. sort of
0.3 Do a written budget check
0.4 Temporarily stop all retirement contributions disagree with this one - contributing 5%
0.5 Get current on all the basics (Shelter, Food, Utilities, Basic clothing) check
0.6 Amputate "toys" (bikes, boats, ATV's etc) to help snowball never had
0.7 Cut lifestyle (Cut cable, cell, extras, eating out) and/or get a second job to raise $1000 EF. still have satellite (DH doesn't want to cut it), cell is partially paid by my mom plus we don't have a land line, any eating out (which has been drastically cut) is rolled into the food budget
0.8 Get current on ALL bills check

BS1 $1,000 to start an Emergency Fund ate it up during maternity leave, rebuilding now but bumping it up to $3000 due to the nature of my position at work
1.1 Chop up/freeze CC's (You have an EF now) don't have any
1.2 Get Health insurance NOW if in the US check
1.3 Get Life insurance NOW if you have considerable debt/your family couldn't make it financially if you died. check
1.4 Amputate cars that you can't pay off within 24 months not doing this - have one new car (financed) and a 10 1/2 year old beater

BS2 Pay off all debt using the Debt Snowball on hold while rebuilding EF
2.0 Do the debt snowball, paying all your debts from lowest BALANCE to highest. don't have bills sorted exactly this way but close

BS3 Three to six months of expenses in savings
3.1 Start car replacement fund have a small amount going to this, also used for maintenance
3.2 Save up 20% for home purchase OR pay down existing mortgage to the point you can drop PMI. probably going to use our tax refunds for a down payment (if the IRS ever gives them to us)
3.3 Start furniture or other non-essential stuff replacement fund not there yet

BS4 Invest 15 percent of household income for retirement currently contribute 5%

BS5 College funding for children put a little away randomly

BS6 Pay off home early currently rent

BS7 Build wealth and give! Invest in mutual funds and real estate




Anyone else feel panicky about money even when following a plan? I'm so stressed about money right now. Part of it is b/c we're behind from my maternity leave. And part of it is b/c we could really use some things (like new clothes, new work shoes for DH, etc) that I just don't have room in the budget for without cutting something else. Also DH is constantly bugging me to rearrange the budget so he can buy alcohol, baseball tickets, money to use to go camping for his brother's birthday, etc.

Just not feeling good about the money.
post #26 of 68
Anyone else feel panicky about money even when following a plan? I'm so stressed about money right now. Part of it is b/c we're behind from my maternity leave. And part of it is b/c we could really use some things (like new clothes, new work shoes for DH, etc) that I just don't have room in the budget for without cutting something else. Also DH is constantly bugging me to rearrange the budget so he can buy alcohol, baseball tickets, money to use to go camping for his brother's birthday, etc.
Just not feeling good about the money.



Lavatea, I can relate! I tend to feel more nervous when we have money because when we are poor and the bank balance is at $0 there is nothing more we can do but when we have cash in the bank, I get nervous that it is going to get spent or not put towards the right goals.  Hopefully over time this will change.  Also dh has gotten a lot better but still not feeling 100% commitment.

 

 

 

post #27 of 68

I felt panicky for a while, yeah. Basically, I was not involved in the money and just was trying to hope it was all ok and just not think about it. But when I got the keys to the finances, I was acutely aware of what shape we were in and I felt panic for a while.

 

It's good, though. It's motivating.

 

Best of all, it ends.

 

I felt a lot of "what are we doing wrong?? we're doing ALL THE RIGHT THINGS!!!!" for a while. But it's a process; you don't just jump on a plan and then reach security in a month or two. But at some point the tide turned and suddenly we were getting ahead.

post #28 of 68

This weekend I started on a budget that I need to work with DH on to finilize (so that he's involved in the process, although I think the numbers are close to final) using the build a budget worksheet from Gail's (from 'Till Debt Do Us Part) website.  I also did some calculations and have determined that we can reasonably pay off all of our debt (line of credit and two mortgages) in 10 years.  That seems like a LONG time, but this is if we stick to the same payments from today for the next 10 years, without contributing any extra money.  This means that salary increases or any bonuses, etc. could either go to lifestyle or to paying down our debt faster, or to retirement savings and likely would go to a combo of those items.  This re-payment schedule also means that we can still build an emergency fund and put some savings towards retirement while paying down our debt.  It also means that I'll be debt free (including mortgages) by the time I'm 40.

 

While the time-line is longer than I'd like, at least I know it's do-able and realistic.

post #29 of 68
Thread Starter 

That's AMAZING!!! joy.gif

 

I hope your DH realizes just how awesome that freedom will be and jumps on board whole-heartedly.

 

 

post #30 of 68
Thread Starter 

We have one week left in our budget cycle and I just blew it by grocery shopping without a calculator (I SUCK at grocery shopping when I don't have a calculator to add things up as I go). Part of the problem was that I had a very bare-bones list so I knew I'd be throwing in some snacks and extras....I did not think I threw in an extra $70 (!!!!!) worth of randomness.

 

I was feeling done and rushed and curfuffled so just debited the extra (where would you even start in putting back $70 worth of stuff?) and was thankful that this was the exception not the rule for how I typically grocery shop. It re-affirmed how much I need a DETAILED list and CALCULATOR!!! ....no trying to grocery shop in the midst of two other tasks, bad things happen.

post #31 of 68

eirul, I so hear you on the list and calculator for grocery shopping.  If I don't have one, not good things happen for me.

 

nstewart, I think having a plan for debt retirement is the best thing that has happened for DH and me, even though for us it will take 5 years to get rid of credit card debt, line of credit, and school loans.  I haven't figured the mortgage into the picture, but maybe I will just for goal's sake.  Glad you have your debt snowball in place as well.  DH and I are still contributing $50 a month to our emergency fund (which I now need to replenish).

 

Had to dip into the EF to pay for a new wash machine.  Stupid electronics on the last one!  It was going to cost $365 to fix the old one, we bought a new one for $450.  I just shake my head.

post #32 of 68
Quote:
Originally Posted by lilacvioletiris View Post

nstewart, I think having a plan for debt retirement is the best thing that has happened for DH and me, even though for us it will take 5 years to get rid of credit card debt, line of credit, and school loans.  I haven't figured the mortgage into the picture, but maybe I will just for goal's sake.  Glad you have your debt snowball in place as well.  DH and I are still contributing $50 a month to our emergency fund (which I now need to replenish).

 

Had to dip into the EF to pay for a new wash machine.  Stupid electronics on the last one!  It was going to cost $365 to fix the old one, we bought a new one for $450.  I just shake my head.


lilac, I hear you on the electronics!  My parents recently had to replace their wall oven.  They first tried to have it repaired which cost over $300 and then had to replace it anyway.  They were really upset by the fact that the repair person (a) hadn't told them in advance the repair would be so expensive (although they should have asked!) and (b) that they weren't told it wasn't a sure fix and that they might have to replace the oven anyway.  Its like things are made to be disposible these days and to break after a certain number of years!

 

I am excited to have my debt snowball in place.  I think it was important for me to include the mortgages on the debt snowball because we had combined all our debt onto our line of credit (car, student loans, cost of home renos) to take advantage of the lower interest rate and so if I just had that I wouldn't see that the snowball could be effective and would be less motivated.  It was really, really cool to see that with the debt snowball I could save approximately $24,000 in interest and pay off my mortgages 11 years sooner!  You may also be surprised as my timeline is similar to yours.  5 years to pay off the line of credit, and then 5 years to pay off the remaining 2 mortgages.
 

 

post #33 of 68
Quote:
Originally Posted by eirual View Post

We have one week left in our budget cycle and I just blew it by grocery shopping without a calculator (I SUCK at grocery shopping when I don't have a calculator to add things up as I go). Part of the problem was that I had a very bare-bones list so I knew I'd be throwing in some snacks and extras....I did not think I threw in an extra $70 (!!!!!) worth of randomness.

 

I was feeling done and rushed and curfuffled so just debited the extra (where would you even start in putting back $70 worth of stuff?) and was thankful that this was the exception not the rule for how I typically grocery shop. It re-affirmed how much I need a DETAILED list and CALCULATOR!!! ....no trying to grocery shop in the midst of two other tasks, bad things happen.



I used to shop with a calculator but I don't anymore.  I just keep a running tally on my grocery list as I put each item into the cart and add it up as I go.  I always round up to the nearest $.50 or $1.00 to keep the math simple.  Rounding up also makes sure I have sales tax covered.  It seriously works so well!  It's amazing how often I'm right down to the dollar, give or take a few cents!


Edited by Contrariety - 3/15/12 at 8:37am
post #34 of 68

DH and I will be able to pay off the first little debt in a couple of weeks.  It will be exciting to actually see the "snowballing" start to work as the minimum payments from other debts are added up to the next minimum.  It is hard to stay motivated when the end is so far away.  DR always talks about 18 to 24 months to pay off stuff, and I keep thinking - I wish!  Keep on, keeping on.

post #35 of 68

Yeah, I got my mortgage escrow adjustment today and our mortgage escrow payment is going down by $25 a month!  Yeah!  Putting that into snowballing!  Also someone has bid on another dress I am selling on ebay.  Yeah for money to get some new clothes that I sorely need.

post #36 of 68

I just put a chunk of money down on my car loan. I have 3 paychecks this month, so that loan will be paid off by the end of  March! We did need to dip into the EF earlier in the month, so I will be replenishing that as well. We are moving right along with the Snowball plan and it feels really good. What we have left in order of smallest to biggest balances: 1) Home Equity Line of Credit 2) My consolidated student loans and 3) the mortgage. Once I have the car loan paid I will recalculate my plans for when I will have the other three paid off.

 

post #37 of 68
Thread Starter 

AWESOMENESS!! Congrats on making such great progress!

post #38 of 68

That is exciting news on paying off a debt!

post #39 of 68

I thought I would share this blog article I read today: "The Fear of Missing Out"

 

Sometimes this fear pushes me to do things that aren't the best financially for my DH and me.  It is a good reminder of how saying no can be good in the long run!

post #40 of 68
Quote:
Originally Posted by lilacvioletiris View Post

I thought I would share this blog article I read today: "The Fear of Missing Out"

 

Sometimes this fear pushes me to do things that aren't the best financially for my DH and me.  It is a good reminder of how saying no can be good in the long run!



OMG, I tell people allll the time that I suffer from FOMO Sheepish.gif...Generally it has to do with always being the last one to leave a party, and not financial stuff, thankfully!

 

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