Hello, I recently changed my email and my Mothering username, but have been lurking on this site for many years. I really appreciate your input and am hoping some of you mamas can help me.
This morning I went on my youtube app on my iphone and saw that an extremely inappropriate search was in the search bar. I was in the car with the kids at the time and said the search out loud. I asked if they put it in, and they kind of giggled, but I let it go because it wasn't the right time (right before school) or place. I looked in the history and about ten videos, including some very explicit, were there. I did not have any restrictions on my personal phone as I usually am around and give my kids permission to use it. That has since changed
I know the search was not done by me or my husband, the only other people with access to this phone are my 7 and almost 9-year old daughters. I am concerned because:
1. They were obviously curious about what they searched for on youtube, but I think the videos they saw may have been MUCH more than they bargained for. All of their curiosity up until now has seemed very age-appropriate.
2. My kids spend at least part of every weekend playing with the neighbor girls, all around the same age. I am concerned that this may have happened when they were playing with them, giving other kids access to this kind of material. I have no idea when this could have happened, they must have sneaked my phone away without asking.
3. They both got ipod touch for christmas last year, and I set very strict restrictions on those. I often look through their photos and any messages that they send to each other and the neighbor kids, but have not looked in their youtube history. Now I'm thinking that the restrictions may not be enough for them, especially if they're seeking out such material. Is it time to take access to these things away?
I've always been down to answer any of their questions about bodies and sex, and they both have a general understanding of sex. I did a dumb thing and overreacted upon seeing the videos, and deleted them from my history. Now I just have a general idea of what the videos were, and I'm not quite sure exactly what they viewed.
I know it's time for a talk with each of them separately to find out what happened, why they searched on that term (It seems so unlike them!) And if they have any problems with what they saw. I need advice from you ladies. It's going to take a lot of restraint on my part to remain understanding and non-shaming through these talks.