"Stranger Danger" Talks - Page 2

[Maedze]

That level of social inappropriateness speaks more to perhaps mental delays or mental illness than being a predator, though.    A typically developed grown woman does not try to give strange children gifts, nor argue with their mother when they're turned down.     

I'd be far more concerned about, say, a young man of apparent typical mental development and health getting chatty with your kids and then taking off when he realizes you've noticed.  

[MrsGregory]

When I worked, I held several positions that put me in sketchy situations frequently.  I had a few terrifyingly close calls.  One evening I found myself in a largely vacant parking garage, and suddenly in the company of a man I sized up as very bad news.  I made the mistake of running.  I was very, very lucky that I knew where the security station was (and he apparently didn't), because he did run after me.  It was the only time I ran, and it was definitely a big mistake.  The next time I found myself certainly being followed across an abandoned parking lot late in the evening by someone who was absolutely up to no good, I turned and stared directly at him with my arms crossed.  I think my message must have been pretty clear, because he stopped in his tracks and then took the widest possible path around me.  Turning and staring the follower down seemed much more natural to me.  Growing up, I was spared no details about what the possibilities were.  I was begrudgingly praised for having the "most fight per pound".  I plan to teach my daughter the very same things that have kept me safe in some pretty ugly neighborhoods at some pretty ugly hours with some pretty ugly people. 

As far as being lost as a child - did anyone else have to learn their full name, address, phone number and their father's full name, place of employment and phone number in school?  (What a relic of an age gone by too - father's employment was only required, mother was assumed to be at home where I came from.)  We drilled every week...  every week we had to write it down on an index card for our teacher.  Just in case we were found wandering the sidewalks.

[SunnyPerch]

OMG I can't even imagine how terrifying it would be to be chased by a strange man like that!! What an absolute nightmare. Thank goodness you knew where to find help, and in time. Did he go all the way to the security station behind you? Was he apprehended?

I don't recall having name/address drills from school. But we are constantly going over with our son (37 mos) our street address and full names. Haven't started with phone numbers yet etc. I would only be afraid that someone who wanted to help him wouldn't be able to understand what he is saying (he has trouble with lots of letter sounds). When we go to a crowded public place, I put a slip of paper in his pocket with his name and mine, and our phone numbers just in case.

Originally Posted by MrsGregory 

When I worked, I held several positions that put me in sketchy situations frequently.  I had a few terrifyingly close calls.  One evening I found myself in a largely vacant parking garage, and suddenly in the company of a man I sized up as very bad news.  I made the mistake of running.  I was very, very lucky that I knew where the security station was (and he apparently didn't), because he did run after me.  It was the only time I ran, and it was definitely a big mistake.  The next time I found myself certainly being followed across an abandoned parking lot late in the evening by someone who was absolutely up to no good, I turned and stared directly at him with my arms crossed.  I think my message must have been pretty clear, because he stopped in his tracks and then took the widest possible path around me.  Turning and staring the follower down seemed much more natural to me.  Growing up, I was spared no details about what the possibilities were.  I was begrudgingly praised for having the "most fight per pound".  I plan to teach my daughter the very same things that have kept me safe in some pretty ugly neighborhoods at some pretty ugly hours with some pretty ugly people. 

As far as being lost as a child - did anyone else have to learn their full name, address, phone number and their father's full name, place of employment and phone number in school?  (What a relic of an age gone by too - father's employment was only required, mother was assumed to be at home where I came from.)  We drilled every week...  every week we had to write it down on an index card for our teacher.  Just in case we were found wandering the sidewalks.

[butterfly_mommy]

I don't remember having name and address drills in school either. I have since DS could talk gone over his name, address and phone number and our names. I taught him our phone number as a song and he got it really quickly. Every now and again I ask him his name, address, phone number and our names and he always gets it bang on (he is 4y 3m) I also told him if he gets lost that he can find another mother or father with children or go into a store and tell them his info and ask them to call us. I also have these paper wrist bands (like what you get at an amusement park) that has his name and mine and DH's cell number on them that I put on his wrist if we go to a busy place like a hockey game, amusement park, zoo etc.

We have also talked about listening to the feelings in your body and if ANYONE even if you know them really well makes you feel uncomfortable that he has the right to get away from them and he can tell me or DH or another adult he trusts what happened or how he felt and we will always believe him and help him. I have also talked about what to do if a stranger approaches him or tries to grab you etc. He likes to hang out on our front porch and lawn while I am in the house and I like to give him some of that freedom. I have told him that most people are good and helpful but there are some people who want to hurt others and that he doesn't need to be fearful but he needs to be aware of his surroundings and to listen to his feelings (instincts) in his body and he can talk to me about anything.

[liberal_chick]

The slip of paper in the pocket thing kind of reminds me of these temporary tattoos I saw on pinterest: http://www.tottoos.org/.  I bookmarked them, although I don't know when we'd ever use them.  Kind of the same concept, though.

[MrsGregory]

SunnyPerch, I ducked out of the garage through an open door in a stairwell, and no, he didn't follow me all the way to the guard station.  So I basically came flying out of the garage and Kramered into the guard station, which was pretty funny in hindsight.  I didn't recognize him as a client, and the simple act of chasing a person isn't high on the list of crimes one can commit, so no, he wasn't apprehended and charged.  I reported his description.