I am active duty, so we travel a lot. My stepdaughter lives with her mother and stepfather with her grandparents. My children receive an allowance when they go above and beyond their normal chores to save for certain things. We are planning a big family vacation this summer, so my children that live with us are saving all their money for the summer.
Now my 11 year old stepdaughter doesn't receive any type of allowance when she isn't with us. We still send her a flat rate box full of stuff every single month on top of her IPHONE payment. We have been sending her $50 for As and Bs and $100 for all As on her report card. Of course, it is her money to blow, and she does. But here lately, she hasn't been making the grades. I sent her mom a text yesterday asking about trying to do something a little different. I explained to her that my children were saving for this summer, so I wanted to ask her opinion on this. So I asked her instead of sending $$$ for grades, what she thought about giving her $$$ for improvements. That way, it would give another reason for her to talk to her daddy, and get them both more involved with her grades. I suggested $1 for every number improvement and we could save it in her piggy bank here for her spending money for the summer. That way when the trip gets here, the kids would be more appreciative of their spending money. Well, that did not go over well at all with her mother. She told me that my children got to see their daddy every day, and hers didn't. She stated that fairness wasn't an issue, that her daughter deserved to get special treatment.
Am I being unfair? Did I do something wrong?