C section mamas - do you still say you "gave birth"?

[Claire98909]

For example, if you're recalling an event to a friend, would you say "Yes, I remember that, I was lying in my hospital bed about two hours after giving birth to my son when I saw it on the news" even if you had a c section?

I want opinions from c section mamas on this because I was on yahoo and one lady was throwing a *bleep* fit at how some women who have had c sections will say that they "gave birth". She was really irate because she doesn't think that c section mamas have the right to say that they "gave birth" because they didn't physically push the baby out of their vaginas.

[AnnieA]

Honestly, I don't feel like I gave birth. I remember thinking it sounded so absurd after DD was born when someone would say to me "You need to take care of yourself too, you just gave birth!". Now my situation was a bit different because DD was diagnosed with a congenital heart defect shortly after birth so she was rushed to a different hospital and I was left on the postpartum floor feeling like I was recovering from surgery and no baby to show for it. I remember waking up in the middle of the night that first night and wondering why I was hearing a baby cry and then having to remind myself that I was on the postpartum floor (which also struck me as absurd). I've talked to other friends that have had c-sections and they feel the same way. There's a baby there. And you were pregnant and the baby was inside you. But there is a huge disconnect in your brain about how the baby got here. Kind of hard to explain but if you have felt it, you know what I'm talking about.

[Bokonon]

Originally Posted by Claire98909 

She was really irate because she doesn't think that c section mamas have the right to say that they "gave birth" because they didn't physically push the baby out of their vaginas.

Yeah, because c-section recoveries are so much easier than pushing a baby out of a vagina.  

Honestly, I don't say that I "gave birth", but I say that I had a baby or that my babies were born.  It doesn't bother me when other moms say that they gave birth when they had c-sections.  It's still having a baby, and it's just semantics.  I have the "right" to say it however I want to - I'm not less of a mother because I had to have c-sections.

[Altair]

Yes I do. My labor/birth/surgery was ridiculously longer and perhaps harder than many other births. I went through quite a lot to birth my boy. It was his birth, I gave him his birth, I gave birth. There's no way I would ever trivialize or feel like it was less then because of how it ended. The OB cutting and pulling and stitching and sewing had a MUCH easier time of it than I did, so he did not "deliver" him or anything else. That birth was all me start to finish.

[katelove]

I don't. I don't feel that I did give birth to my LO. But I think it is a personal view and I don't have any problems accepting that some (many?) women who have caesars do feel like they gave birth and use that expression.

[Sol_y_Paz]

What else would be said?  Going into the details is TMI for most.  Plus, that is the story of the child's birth.  The birth is their big entrance into the world. 

[AnnieA]

Originally Posted by Sol_y_Paz 

What else would be said?  Going into the details is TMI for most.  Plus, that is the story of the child's birth.  The birth is their big entrance into the world. 

I usually say "When DD was born..." or "Right after DD was born..." but I have never said "Right after I gave birth to DD...", it just doesn't feel right to me. I don't begrudge other women using that term but for my experience, it just doesn't fit.

[LiLStar]

I don't refer to myself having "given birth" to my dd, but like the pp say "when dd was born" or whatever. Still, it sounds like that woman having a fit over c-section moms talking about "giving birth" is being very hurtful :( I'm a big fan of mothers defining their own birth experience how they see fit. 

[TCMoulton]

Absolutely.

[JollyGG]

Yes I say I gave birth. It always feels to me when people say that a c-section isn't giving birth that they are saying that the way my child entered the world is somehow less than someone who had a vaginal birth. It's kinda like saying that I didn't do anything I just lay there while they removed my child. I understand that is how some people feel. But I think it contributes to the idea that a c-section is somehow an easier or even lazy way to bring your child into the world. I did plenty of work. I labored for 24 hours, I talked over various interventions with my doctor, I agreed to the c-section, and I went through a very painful recovery. Even for my planned c-section I made the decisions, I went through recovery. I did something, therefore I gave birth.

[CamoShades]

I didn't after I had DD1; I had a hard time coping with the fact that she was breech and I missed out on the rite of passage that is delivering a child vaginally, so I never said I "gave birth" to her. I always said (and still do, I guess) something like, "when I had DD1" or "when DD1 was born." It is just my personal hangup, and I would never think badly of someone who did have a c-section and says they "gave birth." It really pisses me off to think that some women who deliver vaginally don't think c-section mamas have the right to say they "gave birth." That is not their call to make.

DD2 was a VBAC, and I definitely feel/hear a difference in the way I speak about their deliveries. I definitely say I "gave birth" when talking about her. For some reason, I have been really hung up on the terminology when it comes to myself. 

[CI Mama]

Originally Posted by LiLStar 

I don't refer to myself having "given birth" to my dd, but like the pp say "when dd was born" or whatever. Still, it sounds like that woman having a fit over c-section moms talking about "giving birth" is being very hurtful :( I'm a big fan of mothers defining their own birth experience how they see fit. 

Was the woman having a fit on yahoo talking about her own birth, or trashing women who've had c-sections? There's a big difference, IMO. A woman can describe her own birth however she wants, using whatever language feels best to her. But telling another woman what language she does or does not have  'right' to use is just plain wrong.

[Marnica]

I was in labor for 38 hours, I pushed for 2 of them, Vacuum extraction was attempted 3 times before I consented to a c-section out of sheer exhaustion and feeling like I had no other options, so hell yes I gave birth to my son. Not the birth I wanted or envisioned - but his birth nonetheless.

[canadianhippie]

I wouldnt throw a fit about it, if a c-section mama chooses to say she gave birth,then power to her

I dont say i gave birth, i say he was born, i dont feel i gave birth, I laboured, but i didnt birth him, the doctor with the scalpel did

[BookGoddess]

If I didn't give birth to my daughter who did... a robot?

I had a c-section for medical reasons. I was in labor for over 24 hours.  I pushed for several hours.   I don't know if I'm consciously avoided saying "gave birth".  I probably said it.  I've also probably said "when my daughter was born..."  I don't censor myself for fearing some really nitpicky person is going to say no, you didn't give birth...that's only reserved for women who had a vaginal delivery. 

Honestly people need to get beyond such things.  What does it matter if one woman had a vaginal delivery and another had a c-section?  They both gave birth to children.  End of story.  My 2 cents.

 

[LeahG]

I gave birth naturally to my DD and then had an emergency c-section with my DS after a failed attempt at home birth. Just before the c-section I was sobbing and just praying that the ordeal would end. It was MUCH harder than my routine, straight-forward natural birth. Even so I don't say I gave birth to my DS, mainly because of the heart-ache attached. Really the semantics aren't important as we are all mothers in the end. 

[Monica Lehn]

Amen.  I am another mom who gave birth by means of a cesarean delivery.  This after a long labor and 4 hours of pushing and trying every position and technique.  My beautiful boy was "stuck" in the birth canal; it was surreal to experience the attempts to pull him back out during the surgery.  Regardless, he was borne of me, I birthed him.  Yes, I had help.  As does nearly every other women who gives birth.  Who was there and how the last 20 minutes of that process occurred don't negate the fact that it happened.  

Want to get technical?  The definition of birth in my dictionary states "the emergence of a baby or other young from the body of its mother."  It doesn't specify how.  To give birth is to bear a child.  To argue otherwise is a competitive and petty way to deny the experiences of other women. 

[angireid]

I laboured for 5 days before having an emergency c section. Yes I gave birth. I don't think "giving birth" necessarily means the pushing part, I feel like that is a narrow description of a very big thing. That being said I probably don't actually use the term "gave birth", not becuase I believe it doesn't apply to me, I just haven't used that term.

[bigkels24]

I did not have a c section birth but had a vaginal birth using an epidural & pit after tiring out after over 36 hours of labor. Because I didn't "feel" my child being birthed, does that too mean I didn't really "give birth"?? I agree that this is just semantics and hurtful to many moms. Many women would probably change their birth experiences if they could but one is not better than another. We shouldn't rob those mothers of the importance of their experiences.

[mugglesmom]

I don't say I gave birth.  I wish I could.  It's something I'm trying to work on saying because I did.  Maybe not vaginally but it was still a birth.  That woman is incredibly insensitive.  Having a c/s after 60 hours of labor is the most heartbreaking thing that's ever happened to me and I already feel like a complete failure.  I wish other mothers would understand how hard it is to heal from emotionally.  We don't need moms who've given birth vaginally belittling our birth anymore than we already do.