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Pregnancy after loss... November 2012 Rainbow Babies

post #1 of 103
Thread Starter 

This thread is for expecting Mamas who are expecting rainbow babies to share all their joy, fears, doubts, thoughts, and support.  Let's get to know each other, and hold one another's hands as we continue are journeys together.  grouphug.gif 

post #2 of 103
Thread Starter 

I'll start.  Not sure if we wanna do blurbs, have one thread or weekly/monthly threads? 

 

I'm Mary.  My daughter Adeline is going to be 3! in May!  My dh and I have been trying for #2 for almost 2 years now, with 2 losses.  One at 5 weeks, and one at 7 with a D&C.  We finally got pregnant with the help of an RE, and Femara.  I have my first u/s tomorrow morning, so posting this thread feels like risky!  I'm hoping to hear a perfect little heartbeat tomorrow, I'll be 6 weeks and one day.  After my RE releases me, I'll be looking for a Obgyn that supports natural birth and vbacs.  It's a little overwhelming, but I'm trying to take one day at a time. 

post #3 of 103

Thanks for starting this thread.  I'm Katherine.  I have a dd Madeline, soon to be 6 in April and dd Ainsley 4.5.  We had a loss at 11 weeks in Nov 2009.  I had chronic illness for years and was too sick to even think of trying again- so we've been waiting a long time to even try.  It took us 2 months to get a BFP this time and now we're expecting in early Nov.  I actually have an ultrasound tomorrow too.  I'm only 5 weeks 2 days, but I've had some pain on my left side and so I'm just going to get things checked out.  It's very hard to not freak out about every little thing, but I'm trusting in God.  He's got me this far! He has healed my body and has now given us a new precious life, so we're very hopeful.

post #4 of 103

What is a rainbow baby?

 

I've had two miscarriages: one at 6w5d and one at 7w6d. The second one was after we saw the heartbeat, and was really crushing to us. Then, a full year after losing my second baby, I got pregnant with Pearl. I remember being sure I was going to miscarry her well into the second trimester. It was a stressful pregnancy for me. Although I'm doing better this time, there's still that anxiety that only comes from experiencing when pregnancies go very wrong. But I like what Mary said: just one day at a time.

post #5 of 103

Hi! So glad to join. I'm Jenna. DH and I have been ttc #2 for 2.5 years. DD just turned 4. My first loss was at 10.5 weeks, 2nd at 5.5, 3rd at 6weeks. I've been working with an RE since Oct. We did a slew of testing and nothing is wrong. The only thing to pinpoint is a shortish LP. I got my BFP on my 3rd cycle of Clomid + progesterone (well, the 1st cycle doesn't really count b/c we didn't dtd before o'ing). Anyway, I had my betas and hormone levels done the day I got the bfp and 2 days later. Everything came back looking great. I had my first scan last Fri - saw the yolk sac (one 1 - phew!). Have another scan scheduled for Friday to check for heartbeat (at 6w2d) and another the week after to check for growth. Trying to keep the anxiety at bay. Not working so well, just getting snappish at dh. sigh. I can't believe this is my 5th pg.

 

Katherine - I hope your scan goes well tomorrow.

 

Hope to get to know you all for a good long while!

post #6 of 103

Hi everyone,

I'm Erin. DH and I have 4 wonderful boys 9,7,3 and 19 months. We had early miscarriages at 5 weeks between DS 1 and 2 and 7 weeks between DS 3 and 4. Our 5th son Knox was born in December. I lost him at 15 weeks gestation (we think due to a congenital infection called CMV). It was the hardest thing I've ever gone through. We were induced so that I could go through labor (it was something I felt like I needed to do) and so we could hold our baby. I posted about our birth story and grief experience here. (Feel free to read or not, IME folks often have a lot of questions when you lose a baby later in pregnancy, so I posted about our experience for friends and family who had questions, but didn't want to ask.)

 

I am trying to not be anxious about this pregnancy. I feel a little bit like I lost my innocence about pregnancy when Knox died. I too, am taking things one day at a time. I am hoping to have another HBAC with this baby. I had a fantastic birth with DS #4. But I haven't called our midwife yet or made any appointments. I'm still not quite ready for that. I'll probably wait until about 8 weeks or so. 

 

I look forward to getting to know everyone. Thanks for being willing to share. 

post #7 of 103
Hi - I'm sneaking in here too.
I had a missed miscarriage in December - was 9 weeks preg when I had a scan because I felt like something wasn't right - my intuition was correct and we found that the baby had died at about 6.5weeks. I had a D&C as I didn't want to risk a miscarriage over my son's birthday and xmas period. Probably not a choice I'd make again but perhaps I'll talk about that another day.

My midwife very wisely told me to get excited about this baby, just as I would any other baby - that it deserves to be celebrated regardless of what did happen and regardless of what might happen. So I'm cautiously excited and a bit shocked to be expecting on 11/11. We are a lesbian couple and have a known donor. When we got back from an overseas trip in Feb and I was jetlagged and I felt my eggs pop, I wrote the month off but DP convinced me to stop sulking, call our donor and give it a try...AND IT WORKED! joy.gif

I really hope we can all stick around the this DDC. Good luck to all of you.
post #8 of 103
Thread Starter 

Hi ladies, I'm so glad you're here! 

 

Dealea- Rainbow baby is the term for a baby after pregnancy loss.  The way it was described to me is that they are the hope after the dark storm. :) 

 

I had my first u/s yesterday, and we got to see the tiniest little flicker of heartbeat!  Baby jellybean measured 5w6d.  I go back in another couple of weeks, and then transfer to my regular (new, vbacing) dr 4 weeks from now.  I'm starting to get excited, but just want another peek at that babers.  Ok, I'll probably want a lot more peeks.  I thought I was going to cry no matter what yesterday, but I think I prepared myself too well for the possibility that wouldn't see a heartbeat yet, or ever.  I was surprised that everything looked good!  I know I need to work on my attitude, that there's no reason I should assume that there's going to bad news.  I am really enjoying each day, without thinking too much about the future. But it's work sometimes.  :)

 

Do you ladies want to list our due dates?  I know there's already a due date thread, but it might make it easier to keep track later on?  I hope you're all well and feeling good!

post #9 of 103


So I guess my daughter was my rainbow baby? Since I haven't had a miscarriage since her?

Quote:
Originally Posted by marmo View Post

Dealea- Rainbow baby is the term for a baby after pregnancy loss.  The way it was described to me is that they are the hope after the dark storm. :) 

 

 

 

post #10 of 103

Congrats Mary on seeing a heartbeat!

 

This pregnancy will be a rainbow baby, I think all babies born after MCs are.  Having a loss changed the way I look at pregnancy, for sure.

I lost my 3rd pregnancy at 13 weeks - I had an US around 12 weeks and it showed the baby had died suddenly about 1-2 weeks prior.

Since I did not have any cramping, spotting or signs of impending labor I chose to have a D&E a week later.

 

I have an us today just for dating since we weren't really trying to get pregnant right now (or possibly ever again).

I'm 40 and have a 12 month and am still nursing at night...my cycles have been long but I think I know when I might have ovulated (once you chart it's hard not to mentally take note of those things, LOL).

 

How are you all doing with anxiety?

I need to make a commitment to NOT GOOGLE and stick with it.

Google is my worst enemy when I'm pregnant, ugh...

 

Congrats to everyone on their rainbow babies.  :)

post #11 of 103

Ultrasound went well yesterday- I was 5w2d and we could only see a sac, which I was told is normal.  She could tell that I ovulated on the right side.. and so since the pain has been on my left side, it's pretty much impossible to have an ectopic on the left side.  I felt so much better after that scan.  She, too, told me to celebrate this baby and to try to relax and be positive.  She told me that fear and anxiety change your biochemistry and is not good for such a sensitive time in development.  This is a challenge for me. 

 

I feel like there is a new worrisome symptom every day.  I'm really trying not to drive my mw insane.  Today my cervix is really sore- the whole vaginal area actually.  I've never had this in pregnancy before... anyone else experience this.  It's very hard for me to judge when I should just ignore something or when I should contact my mw, which I feel like I've done way too many times already.

post #12 of 103

kateaton - call your midwife anytime you need to.  the more that you can put your mind at ease, the better! 

 

I'm expecting a rainbow baby also.  I've miscarried at 7 weeks, 5 weeks, and 12 weeks.  I am due Nov. 8th this time around.  While I am very excited, I am also completely freaked out that I am going to miscarry again, and have all kinds of PTSD symptoms from my 12 week loss.  It was a full birth experience (contractions/water breaking / babies coming out) though we miscarried at home.  Hubby was on PCS across the country, I was out of town, in a bumpkin town, away from hospitals when it happened.  I am fairly certain it was twins, though I was too traumatized to examine the babies. 

 

All that to say, I am nervous about this pregnancy, but trying to be hopeful.  I have my appointment with my OB on Monday and will be asking for an ultrasound soon, to check for heartbeat and see if we can see a wiggly little one in there somewhere.  I've heard that seeing/hearing the heartbeat, and seeing a live baby on ultrasound somehow decreases chance of miscarriage to only 4% chance, and for those with recurrent miscarriages like me, only a 17% chance. I don't know if anyone else finds that comforting, but hopefully it will set my mind at ease enough to enjoy the pregnancy as much as possible, even though there's still a chance. 

 

I will be 6 weeks tomorrow.  That means I passed one of my miscarriage milestones.  In two weeks I'll have passed another.  I am still very scared about a late loss, but I'm hoping that things will go well this time around, and I can eventually just relax and enjoy it. :)  Having a group like this to talk to really does help

post #13 of 103

I think starting a roll of sorts at the top would be good for us to keep up with each other.

 

I am due November 4th. I'll be 7 weeks on Sunday. We have our first appointment Monday to see the heartbeat.

post #14 of 103

kateaon - I'm glad your scan went well.


Gem - Hi! I was wondering when you'd stick your head in. Fingers crossed for your scan!

 

Greenmama - I hope you can get your scan soon!

 

AFM - Had my 6 wk scan today - saw and heard the heartbeat!! yay! Everything looks great and my RE said that if we see good growth at next week's scan the miscarriage rate falls to 3%. Already passed 2 of the 3 milestones.

post #15 of 103

Hi Everyone,

 

I'm so glad to hear everyone's ultrasounds are going well!!  I'm 5w1d...I don't have any chidren yet and have had 2 miscarriages in the last year.  The first at 7w and had a D/E and the second at 5w.  My doctor put me on progesterone although I have read there are many beliefs among doctors as to whether this helps.  I'm very nervous and any sign of cramping or pain I get very anxious.  My doctor said that my levels were showing a good jump since last week and made my first appointment for the middle of April so this gives me some hope.  Although, it does seem that all of you are having appointments much sooner than I am so that also makes me wonder if I should be having one sooner.  I am however still very new at this and learning what things mean such as some of the things said in earlier posts but I supposes this will come with experience.  I'm very excited that I found this group because it is difficult to talk about my nervousness with family or friends and especially now that only a few know I am pregnant this time around.  I am really looking forward to reading more posts from all of you :) 

post #16 of 103
Hi everyone! I've yet to post an official Intro because I just found out and I'm so very early.

I have two beautiful boys (5 and 2) but my first pregnancy ended in a m/c with a d&c at 12 weeks. It definitely stripped me of my innocence. despite having two healthy boys, I carry the fear of losing another pregnancy. My family is so ready for another baby so I'm hopeful but trying to reserve my excitement for now.

I wish all of you a healthy, happy pregnancy!
post #17 of 103

Congratulations everyone! :)

 

JRighty38 - I requested an early appointment because I've had so many miscarriages and just want to get in and have as much help as I can this time around.  I wasn't fortunate to have a good medical team the last few pregnancies that I lost, so I want to do what I can (if anything) to ease my mind, and possibly help this pregnancy.  I'm sure you could call your Dr. and see if you can get in earlier if it would help set your mind at ease. :)

post #18 of 103

I am here cautiously expecting a rainbow baby around Thanksgiving.  I had miscarriages at 4 weeks in November and February.  This time I had my hcg checked right after getting my bfp.  My numbers are going up nicely and I will be getting an u/s as early as possible, probably at about 6 weeks.  I have definitely started to relax some, but I still won't allow myself to have my eyes open when I use the bathroom.  Weird, I know, but if I had them open I would be obsessively wiping and checking the toilet paper.  I am on progesterone suppositories twice a day, so at that time I see everything is ok.  I don't seem I have any issues with progesterone, but my doctor just wanted me to use them just in case.  

 

Interestingly, after my last miscarriage my regular doc did tons of blood work and sent me for a transvaginal u/s just to make sure everything is ok.  I got the u/s in the afternoon of 2/27 and that evening had really really bad ovulation pain (perhaps the worst ever).  When I got the u/s report I read that I had 2 follicles!  We would be pretty psyched with twins, but will be over the moon with 1 as well.  

post #19 of 103
I had the lightest tinge of pink in my cervical mucous yesterday (more than 24hrs ago) and have been freaking out ever since. I'm also feeling very tender in my entire pelvic area, back and front. They could be two entirely different issues - like maybe I need to get to my osteopath for an adjustment but it's hard not to be feeling extremely shaky. My last miscarriage was a missed miscarriage with no symptoms so I've no reason to believe this is history repeating but I'm having a terrible time convincing myself.
I hate this. I'm 6 weeks 1 day.
post #20 of 103

MujerMama- I feel for you.  I am on edge every time I wipe after going to the br.  Can you call your dr/mw and get an ultrasound?  or get your hcg levels tested?  at least this will put your mind at ease... no one should have to live with that kind fear.  I know it well, and it's so horrible.  praying it's just absolutely nothing.

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