I've been having a really hard time lately with keeping my health anxiety in check. I remember being about 8 years old and watching a pbs show about strokes and being absolutely convinced that I was having one---- I haven't changed a bit! When I was pg with my dd, we had enough worries about her (shortening cervix/bedrest/preterm labor) that I didn't worry about myself much at all. This time around, little guy has seemed perfectly healthy and in no danger all along, and I've found myself obsessing over all sorts of low-probability disasters that could happen to me- entirely too easy with all the aches and pains and odd feelings that come with being pregnant. I've been completely fixated on blood clots and keep thinking that I have one in one leg or the other and that, at any moment, it could break off and travel to me lungs and kill me. So that occasional pain in my thigh-- doom. I've also had a diagnosed problem with costchondritis for many years now (inflammation and pain in the cartilidge between the ribs), that gets exacerbated with strenuous exercise, or sleeping wrong, etc.-- and it's totally flared up (helped, I'm sure, by this enormous uterus pushing up into my ribs whenever I'm sitting)-- but, even though I can logic out what's likely going on, it's all too easy for me to wonder if the pain could be from something more serious. I've discussed these issues with my dr., who is not concerned about any of them, and I think I should probably consider seeing a psych person since it's really keeping me from being as happy as I would like to be- from really enjoying this time and being excited. Instead I feel like I'm holding my breath, trying to get through each day. I'm too embarrassed to ask for tests to rule any of these things out, but really am almost consumed with worry (I wish I could just have a test and check that concern off my list- it would be such a relief!!) It took us a long time to decide to have another child, and now I keep worrying that this pregnancy is literally going to kill me and leave my dd without me, etc. I had a blissful two weeks when I was obsessed, instead, with choosing the perfect carseat, and that little project totally distracted me from my fears-- need to find something else to throw myself into, but have been sick with a flu or bad cold for some time now and just have too much space in my head.
So-- I could really use a bit of a pep talk. Please remind me of how many women get pregnant and have babies all the time without any of these rare disasters befalling them. Pregnant women do get aches and pains in their legs that are not blood clots. And chests and backs can get sore from giant uterus/passing viruses/strenuous work/etc.
And please be kind-- don't tell me how ridiculous I am- I already feel loony enough. And I am seeking out professional help. But I could just use some reassurance. It seems like so many ladies are able to have relatively worry-free pregnancies, and I'm just so jealous of that. I just want to be able to take some of these physical "symptoms" more in stride, and really trust that things will be okay so that I could just enjoy looking forward to my little boy. Just send me some calm vibes and confidence and optimism. And tell me that you have felt all sorts of strange things and had everything turn out just fine.