For all the typical reasons, it's most likely time to nightwean DS, who is 21 months. We tried a couple months ago with the Dr. Joy Gordon method (loosely applied)....I decided to try it the first night only from 3-6am.....and it was three hours of almost continuous screaming. Not just screaming until he had a rash on his face, but thrashing and throwing up (once, from screaming so hard) and generally flipping out. It was heartbreaking. DH and I were with him the whole time, of course, but there was no comforting to be had, DS was just so upset. Such a wild mix of anger, frustration, confusion and desperation. He was literally begging. It was so, so awful.
The next day we all three had a "hangover", and it took a few days to rebuild the trust again. DS was simply suspicious of us and it really felt like it damaged the trust and our relationship in general.
So, we decided to put it on hold for awhile. And now "awhile" has come and gone and I am wondering if we should try again....although I know I can't stand a repeat of that last time. I think one mistake we made then was we didn't prepare him and tell him in advance. However, as with other things where we did prepare him....it doesn't necessarily make it much easier. He still gets upset in the moment.
I don't mind if he gets upset actually, that is natural and to be expected. But from all I've read here and from other mamas I know, it's usually maybe up to an hour of this kind of screaming and protest (if even that)....not three or more hours (I feel like it would've gone on all night if we'd started earlier). I just know I don't have it in me to be there for him through an entire night....several nights....of that kind of ramped-up upset. Plus, and more importantly, it just didn't feel right.
OTOH I do feel it would be good to nightwean and I just wish we could do it without so much drama and pain. Is this possible or am I just dreaming and it's either loads of screaming or no nightweaning? Has anyone ever managed to nightwean with either no tears (which isn't even my goal actually) or just a little bit? Any tips how to get there? Thanks!