I'm pretty distraught right now and not sure what to do. Maybe you mamas have some advice.
I had a UC three days ago (the 10th) and couldn't prevent a bad 2nd degree tear. I thought I knew how to take care of it myself, but messed up. Maybe royally. I don't know.
I can't take care of this tear properly, even if it had been stitched. There is no way. The first two days, I sat in chairs because laying down is too horrifically painful on my abdomen and hips. I can't do it. I can keep my legs together, but that's all. I don't have any way of getting sitz baths or special herbs for it. I read about using nori strips to hold the sides together, but I can't get them to stick or work at all, no matter what I do. It just falls right off immediately and then laughs at me. The sides of the tear won't stay together at all. One side slumps and it stays open. It's not going back together.
I can't lay down. I CANNOT LAY DOWN. I have to sit or stand. Also, I am all alone. I have no friends, no family, no one who can help me. I have a 4yo who is ultra high-needs, especially right now and I have to take care of her. I have a husband, but he works and he can't help me during the day. We are so far below the poverty line that him taking even one day off work is absolutely impossible. I'm on my own. He has mild autism which also makes him pretty much useless to me the rest of the time, though he tries. I have to get up. I have to get up to use the bathroom, change diapers, help my child, fix her food, help her do EVERYTHING, bathe, care for my scar, and tidy up house just enough to keep it safe. I have to do these things. Three days PP, my tear looks the same and just hangs open.
All I can do, all I have been doing is rinsing it every time I use the bathroom with a 1/2 water, 1/2 witchhazel solution in a peri bottle and I wash it twice a day with Dr. Bronner's. I let it air dry a little, but I have to wear a pad at night and when I walk around or I'll get blood everywhere. I also have some herbal salve I bought for my nipples which says it's for tears too, but seems worthless for all the good it's doing me.
There is no infection, it's just not healing and I can't even give it the opportunity to.
I can't get it stitched at this point, so what do I even do? I'm ready to cry. I can't take care of myself at all and there's no one to help me. Luckily, it has been my only problem so far. No baby blues otherwise, I'm just so upset about this stupid tear and so angry I tore in the first place. I'm on an island and can't get the things I need. I do have sea salt. Will that do anything?
What would you do in this case? Forget about it and just save up over the next few years in case I need reconstructive surgery?