MIL and I have never and will never see eye-to-eye on my children. That being said, she has really caused herself some issues with our 5yo dd, their relationship is very strained. I suggested mil do some reading about the challenges gifted children have/face and those the parents/family have/face. I'm hoping to find some good, as well as quick and easy, reads for mil regarding misdiagnosis and dual diagnosis. FWIW, she'd never read an entire book.
Any suggested reading for mil? Any help is greatly appreciated. I'm hoping for articles and quick pieces on web sites.
For those that aren't aware, dd is very sensitive to light and sound, any change to routine or plans, she's very much an introvert (mil is text book extrovert and really smothers dd). DD has some behaviors (ticks, leg kicking, ear pulling) that look a little like she might be on the spectrum. We don't suspect she is but they're good indicators of when something hasn't gone or isn't going quite right. For whatever reason, intentional or not, mil says she cannot see in dd these behaviors. EX: mil was reading to dd while dd was sitting next to her staring off into space sucking her thumb, pulling her ear, and slapping her feet together. Mil said she thought this meant dd was tired. Additionally, dd seems to try to control mil to keep her reigned in, for lack of a better description. DD tells mil where to sit, what to do, what to say, what toys she may play with, how to play with those toys, etc. Mil says she doesn't see this as trying to control her but just playing with her.
What's more, I can sense in dd when she's having trouble. This feeling grows and grows the entire time my ILs visit and doesn't dissipate until they've been gone for several hours.
TIA for any suggestions you might have.
I meant to say, so came back to add, that mil makes dd crazy and with that comes tantrums and fits that are almost always directed at me. I cannot continue to play mediator for the two of them while also being dd's punching bag. This must be rectified or I will be forced to limit time dd spends with mil.