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Non-vaxed kids - please reassure me...

post #1 of 14
Thread Starter 

Hello wise mamas.  Sometimes I feel alone in many decisions that I make.  This being one of them.  My 4 1/2 year old had a couple of vaccines at 2 months and I have not continued.  My 3 year old has never had any vaccines.  They are healthy, thriving energetic kids that have just got colds this week and I'm realizing the last time they were sick with a cold was in August of last year.  Impressive...as everyone around us ( kids and adults) seem to have been sick with colds, flus etc all winterlong.  Luck - maybe??...I don't know.  But here I am feeling pressure once again as the oldest will be entering kindergarten and then I start doubting my decisions.  Argghhh I wish I wouldn't do that. I guess that often when we make a decision like this it goes quietly.  I don't discuss this with too many people and especially at work where I now work with pediatricians and OB's in labour and delivery.  It's like our little secret...not that I'm embarassed I just don't want to catch myself in situations where I feel like I have to defend myself and our choices...this has happened in the past.  So yes, please reassure me.  This is OK right?  I shouldn't question myself just as they are getting to elementary school level.....

post #2 of 14

No you shouldn't question yourself about what you have done...you should praise yourself for the wonderful job you are doing.  Just because elementary school is coming up is no reason to start questioning your decisions now.  If anything, your kids might be sick less, and the teachers will notice that...my kids teachers noticed it in elementary school, how they were never as sickly as all the other kids.   when you start feeling that doubt building up, go and read some VAERS reports, and other material on the issue...chances are you won't feel that doubt when you are done reading. 

post #3 of 14

Take this as the time to read up again and remind yourself wht you don't vaccinate.  Every now and then I have a  little freakout that my kids haven't had any vaccines.  So I go through the diseases again and resassure myself of why they don't.  It always has turned out that I'm more worried about Dr.s reactions to my choice than I am of my kids getting really sick/dying from a disease that they could have been vaccinated for.  And on that point I remind myself that at least right now, it is 100% my choice to decide which vaccines my kids get, if any.  While my choice may be a terrible one to some, legally, it's my call.  I still struggle with the Dr. thing though.  Like I loathe the day our Dr. asks about my kids vax status.

Edited by Magali - 3/14/12 at 7:06am
post #4 of 14

I think most people (not all) but many doubt making this choice from time to time. I know I do, but I do what above poster suggested. I go back and review and remind myself of all the reasons why I chose not to vaccinate in the first place. Those reasons have not suddenly changed. Most of the time, my dioubt stems from the mainsteam when I allow all the ridiculous fear mongering and misinformation to get to me. Why would elementary school be of particular concern to you?? Your child may get sick more when they go to elementary school, but it will be with colds and tummy bugs and stuff like that. Maybe a case of CP will go around (if your lucky!). My DS is 100% unvaccinated and has been in daycare since he was 3 months old. He started preschool this fall. Im not more worried about his status than I was before. he actually gets sick quite a bit with colds and upper respiratory stuff. This experience of having an unvaccinated child who hardly ever gets a cold has not been mine I'm sorry to say. However - when he does get sick, his immune system deals with it nicely and I know it is getting stronger from it.

post #5 of 14

I think it is totally normal to start wondering about it because dealing with the exemption forms etc. I asked the school upon registrations if they allow vaccine exemptions and was very relieved to hear that they do.  I experienced a vaccine reaction as an adult and my first born also did so I'm overly cautious about considering them.  I agree with others that you need to read up on things again and you'll feel confident again in your decisions.  You have healthy kids - why mess with it :)  That is what I tell myself :)

post #6 of 14

(((hugs))) mama! I have a 3 year old and 5 year old. When my eldest started Pre-school, then Kindergarten, I was a bit stressed about it, but I go to a website like this or Vran.org etc., and it really helps to strengthen my resolve. I have to say, not vaccinating was one of the best decisions I have made as a parent. I truly believe that. The more I learn about vaccines, the more confident I am in that belief.


Hang in there!!!

post #7 of 14

I didn't get a chance to read all the comments so pardon me if it's already been said. LOL 


I also don't vax and have a very, very healthy child who never gets sick (knock on wood). My realization recently is that parents that choose not to vax are also more likely to BF, eat healthy or be a little more "crunchy" than those who do vax. Not to say a vaxing parent isn't one of those things, but just that it is more likely if they don't they will fall into one of those groups. Maybe that's why our kiddos are so much healthier. Anyway, just my thought wink1.gif

post #8 of 14
I also have not vaccinated my 3 month old. My son however has undergone open heart surgery at 10 weeks. I felt pressure in the hospital to vaccinate as they said he was more at risk. I struggled with my decision for days. It came down to me re-reading and educating myself again as to why I didn't vaccinate in the first place. Can I say that the parents that choose to not vaccinate are no ally more educated and take the time to research what they put into their child's body.
Tonight I was questioning my decision not to vaccinate and again began to research. I reassure myself by reminding myself that the reason I chose not to vaccinate was to protect my child. I don't believe fully in vaccination and believe that the nasty chemicals can be worse, given that I don't live in a third world country and provide my son with a clean home and fresh food(he is currently BF) then I am confident that I have made the right decision.
Don't question yourself, however congratulate yourself on making an informed decision and raising healthy children. I know of many that have vaccinated and their children get sick more than others and have also suffered some severe reactions to the vaccinations.
Good on you for taking the time to research this issue as many don't.
Hope this helps. I understand how easy it is to question as you only want the best for your children. Go with your gut as you are their mum and you do have their best interest at heart.
post #9 of 14

One of my children also had open-heart surgery, and we were told that flu shots for the entire family (including the child) were an absolute must.


Besides the fact that I had a terrible reaction to the flu shot, what kept us from following this advice was the fact that the flu shot had not been tested on kids with cardiac issues.


We love our pediatric cardiologist, but he is not infallible.  He initially insisted that we would have to formula-feed our child, since he wanted to measure intake and weight gain.  He did relent when I provided him with a study (that he'd never heard of) showing that infants with cardiac issues did far better on breast milk than on formula; he allowed me to opt for weekly weigh-ins instead.

post #10 of 14

Entry into school is a great time to go over the reasons you are against vaxxing again, as in most states you'll have a write a brief letter about why you aren't doing it (religious or sometimes philosophic exemption you turn in instead of vaccine records, double check your local procedure on it). For me it simply doesn't come up in conversations but I'm not ashamed of it. I just tell people if it does come up we weighed the risks of either choice (yes or no shots) and found them to be comparable, so decided to trust in our immunity the way we were designed rather than what humans have developed to override it.

post #11 of 14
#taximom5 it is nice to hear of someone with a similar situation. I was concerned that with all of the medication and stress from surgery it would be worse for my little one. I too had a bad reaction to the flushot. Of course in all my worry he came down with a cold yesterday. So after a sleepless night for mum I have been relying on saline and a nasal sucker and a vaporizer. I don't think the worry will ever leave. I am still confident in my decision to not vaccinate.
post #12 of 14
Sarah, I never did much of anything when my kids had colds (which was very rare anyway).

Maybe its just my family, but I SWEAR, vaporizers make colds much worse. And unless you sterilize the nasal sucker every timer, you're just introducing potential virus/bacteria/mold (maybe from the vaporizer?) into the nasal passages.

I just let the baby nurse as much as he wanted, and then we slept in the rocking chair all night, so he would be more comfortable. oh, and I made sure he avoided ALL dairy for the duration of the cold.
post #13 of 14
I am just keeping him comfortable and offering him the breast.
post #14 of 14

I am always relieved to see an entry like this because I find that these concerns pop up for me too.  I also do exactly what the other moms here recommend - I go back and review the information that led me to decide not to vax.   My little guy went to preschool/daycare for a few months at  2 1/2 years old and started preschool this past September.  I was a bit worried because children who attend school tend to pick up a lot of bugs.   However, my DS has only had a cold even when some funky virus was going around in his classroom.   It can be a challenge when your first one goes to school.  I feel it is because it is at that time that you really get a sense of how strong our kids' immune systems are - that first leap of faith. :o) 


The most challenging part for me is to keep the junk food away from him at school (preschool!!)!!  I am amazed at what people think are good snacks to bring in for little bodies. 


Think of school as 'germ therapy'...that is what I keep telling myself when I get a little worried.   :o) 


As a side note - I wouldn't always rely on what the school tells you regarding whether they will accept a waiver or not.   I made sure to do my homework first.  The website for the school my son attends states that they MUST be vaccinated.  However, the school district  manual clearly states that they accept waivers.   Most people that work in these environments just accept the 'all kids must be vaccinated' mantra that they do not even stop to think that there are other alternatives...


You are doing a great job.  I think it is healthy to stop and re-assess.

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