I have absolutely no clue what forum this should go in but here goes! I have a 2 year old DD and a 4 month old DS and we just moved to a new community. I really want to make some new friends here since we just moved from a very isolated place and I really need some adult interaction in my life with someone other than DH. I joined meetup.com and found an area moms group and we just went to our first playdate this week.
To make a long story short, it didn't go all that well. DD had a pretty hard time.......we do the same stuff that many of you mamas do I'm sure, AP, TV free, Waldorf-y toys, no sugar/junk food, lots of music at home and reading, crafts, nature activities, etc. Our house is pretty calm and peaceful and as a result so are our kids. Well anyway, the playdate was at a local indoor play place and it was packed with screaming kids, loud music, flashing lights, loud toys, etc. DD was obviously overwhelmed the minute we got there and clung to my leg for the first 20 minutes. She did let go and wandered around a bit but mostly sat in a quiet corner with a pile of books. I tried to bring her over to meet some other kids her age and she had a complete meltdown and begged to be picked up. The rest of the time she alternated between clinging to my leg and crying to be held. When I finally got her off my leg and brought her to a craft table, another kid grabbed a tube of glitter out of her hand and pushed her onto the floor....she looked totally bewildered and got back up only to be pushed down again and hit in the face by this kid. The boy's mother was sitting right there and did absolutely nothing. DD was inconsolable so we left - as soon as we got back in the car she was totally fine and asked to go home.
I'm sitting here looking at the meetup calendar for the moms group and, with the exception of maybe one or two outings, I'm seeing a lot of things that are probably going to be equally overstimulating and too much for DD. While I do want to try again and see how she does, a bigger part of me knows that this is who she is and she is this way because of our parenting style......am I doing the right thing here? Am I raising my kids to be loners? I love who she is and how intelligent and creative she is and her love of books and nature warms my heart and brings me so much happiness, but am I setting her up to be a social failure? All the other kids at the play place were running around and screaming and acting wild and, well, like kids. There were pitchers of kool aid and cheetos and cookies and all that crap, and DD asked for some and I said no......should I have let her?
I think the hardest part of parenting our children this way is just how alone we feel in doing so........as right as it feels to us it is dramatically different than what we see others doing. My best friend puts her kid in front of Nickelodeon all day so she can run her etsy shop. My husband's friends just posted a pic on Facebook of their one year old happily plowing through a bag of french fries at Burger King. I cannot begin to tell you how much crap we've gotten from both our families for not vaccinating and for taking our kids to a homeopathic doctor instead of a pediatrician.
How do you cope with your choice of parenting style? Are you loners like us or have you found other families in your communities like you? I am considering starting my own meetup group in the hopes of finding other parents like us.....I know they have to be out there! How have you made friends that share your views? I feel so desperate for other moms to talk to and commiserate with, and I genuinely want my kids to have someone to play with. Where do we begin?