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I think our milk is going.... should I just let it go?

post #1 of 13
Thread Starter 

I am so conflicted about what to do about the future of mine and DS nursing relationship.

DS is 22 months old and loves his milk and I have loved him nursing until recently but the last week or two I feel like my skin is crawling everytime he nurses and I feel really bad about it!

My milk is starting to go and part of me feels like letting it end, but I dont think he is ready, I just lay in bed with him while he cried cause I had no milk and he wanted it in his sleep. I know the benifits of continuing to nurse him and really wanted to go at least until he was 2 and probably longer but I also said we would nurse until one of us didnt enjoy it.... and I am not right now

Part of me would like a break for a few months before this new baby comes but I feel really sad about loosing that special time with him.

Anyone else going through something like this? Any thoughts or ideas?

 

 

post #2 of 13
My nursling was older than yours by about a year when I started losing my milk. I remember that awful crawly feeling-hated it and felt guilty. I did stop nursing, but when my baby was born, my older one started nursing again and I tandemed for about a year.
post #3 of 13

My nursling isn't ever 15 months yet.  When I first got pregnant I started getting that skin crawling want to throw her across the room feeling.  I realized it was hormones.  I still have some milk, but not much.  I night weaned because she started waking hourly wanting milk.  During the day she nurses maybe 5-6 times.  I find I do better if I limit it a bit.  Also if she is popping on and off too much I pull my shirt down and get her to focus on something else.

post #4 of 13

Aww, hugs Mama hug2.gif I know how incredibly emotional it can be. I could have written your exact post when my ds was that age. I have no advice but can share our story. My goal was always to nurse ds for two years, and when he was 23 months old and I was 4 months pregnant, I had the exact feelings your describing. It was becoming really physically uncomfortable to nurse him, and he was becoming frustrated because there wasn't much milk left. I didn't understand nursing enough, so that lead to me trying to wait until I was a bit more full to nurse him to avoid him getting cranky, and that basically killed my supply. One night I went to nurse him back to sleep and there just wasn't anything there. It was really traumatic for the both of us I think, but we got through it. I said to myself I would think about tandeming when the newbie arrived, but when that time came he seemed SO big, and had forgotten how to latch so I just couldn't get myself to do it even though he wanted to nurse sometimes. He was easily distracted from it but it always made me a bit sad too. Anyway, in an ideal world if I had it to do over again (and this is just me personally) I would have done more to keep my supply up so we could have nursed a few months longer. I think it was too soon for him, and me as well. This time around I was shocked to find myself pregnant when DD is just six months old, and I am doing everything possible to keep my supply up. With my midwives approval I am drinking tons of mothers milk tea (she says as much as I can), more milk two tincture I think it's called, drinking and eating a lot, and nursing as frequently as possible. So far things are going really well, and there isn't at all as much discomfort, maybe bc  there's actually milk there? Anyway, good luck with whatever you decide!!

post #5 of 13

I am going through the some thing with my DS (though he's a bit older...36 months). About six weeks ago my supply really started dropping and I doubt he was getting much of anything. But he has always been crazy addicted to nursing so we kept on. After a while my hormones started going crazy too and I just had this skin crawl feeling every time he nursed. I just flat out did not enjoy it at all, it made me very uncomfortable. I got him down to just two nursings a day, but not easily. This past weekend he turned 3yo, and we had been telling him that mama's milk will go away after he's three. He seemed totally okay with this, and didn't even (to my COMPLETE amazement) ask for it the first two days. I thought, wow, this is going to be a breeze! Then yesterday and today, he has started really wanting it again. Tonight he yelled, grabbed at my shirt, and demanded it for 40 minutes straight before falling asleep, and just now awoke and screamed for it for another 25 minutes for milk. It's so heartbreaking. At the same time, I just can't bring myself to continue. I never thought I'd wean him like this, but here we are. It's a very conflicting situation to be in. As for myself, I just had to realize that nursing while resenting my child do not represent the kind of mama I want to be. Children can probably pick up on that kind of energy. Anyway, whatever you do, know you're not alone in this struggle. Good luck mama.

post #6 of 13

DS is 2.5 and I am looking forward to him weaning . . . like yesterday!  He is only nursing at night now, so he's interrupting my sleep a lot.  Then I lay and nurse him and it feels miserable.

 

I've been talking to him about how it's hurting me, and makes me feel yucky.  I've also been ending the nursing session before he's ready.  He fusses a little, but then rolls over for a back scratch and goes back to sleep.

 

I've also been starting out my night in a different bed in a different room.  This usually allows me to sleep with DH until 1 or 2 a.m. before DS is looking for me.  I've tried getting back up to my room after he's back to sleep, but it doesn't seem to matter what I do after that first wake up, he wakes up every 2 hours until it's time to get up.  hmmm I haven't tried taking him to the bathroom....  This morning he had an accident at 5.m.  I wonder if he would have slept better the 2nd half of the night if I took him to the bathroom at the first wake up.

 

During the day I dissuade nursing by not wearing a nursing bra, or sitting in our nursing spot on the couch.  I also use the "don't offer don't refuse" technique.  When he does ask to nurse during the day, he's usually hungry so I take it as a cue to offer a snack.

 

I hope everyone finds a comfortable nursing arrangement.  

 

 

post #7 of 13
Greetings Mammas!
No advice, just wanted to chime in and say that I can relate.
Before I got pregnant, my then 26 month old skipped one day of nursing and I was an emotional wreck thinking that he had weaned suddenly. I think I posted about on another forum because I was so upset!
Now he is 27 months old and I am (obviously, lol) 9.5 weeks pregnant and I am praying everyday that he will wean because it feels HORRIBLE to nurse! I am so shocked, and at first was trying to push it out of my head....but I literally cannot stand it, it feels so crappy that it is making me insane!
We keep talking about how the milkies are all gone now, as there isn't much milk anymore either, and we had gotten down to just nursing before bed.
The last two nights he was so tired that I quickly distracted him and he didn't nurse at all (he still uses a paci at bedtime). And honestly, I felt horribly guilty because I was SO RELIEVED! greensad.gif
I don't think this is the end yet, but I am hopeful that we are moving that way.
I am surprised with how this is all ending for sure, and I guess I just need to focus on the fact that I did a great job of BF'ing my son for 27 months and move on. eyesroll.gif
post #8 of 13

We weaned about that time, too.  When it is no longer "mutually satisfying," and you can't fix the problem, then its time.  I felt bad because she would have happily continued nursing literally 6-10 times a night and also through the day, but I got to the point that I HAD to sleep.  Night weaning was unsuccessful, so I weaned completely.  It was sad at first, but then WONDERFUL.  We did it very gradually.  When we finished, within 6 weeks, she felt so grown up.  She stopped waking so much at night and she actually came up to me one day and declared, "No diapers, mama."  I explained the details of how to not wear diapers anymore, and that was it...she was potty trained.  She potty trained herself.  I think it was because she felt more grown up and wanted to do grown up things.  Weaning was very big for us.  Even her vocabulary grew a ton afterward.  Just listen to your inner voice.  You may really enjoy time to focus on the next baby and having some time to yourself.  

post #9 of 13

I realized over the weekend that my milk is gone and DS has weaned.  

 

happy mama is getting more sleep!

post #10 of 13
Thread Starter 

Thanks for all of your thoughts and experiences.

I still haven't decided what we are going to do. After writing the first post I was so sad and felt really guilty for even thinking about stopping. But in the last few days we have been really busy and not home very much which has lead to very few feedings and I am feeling pretty good about it. We have went from 5-8 feedings a day to 2. My milk is still disappearing and I know a lot of it is due to my diet being less than perfect right now, but I'm doing the best I can so I figure we'll see how it goes and just go with it :)

 

post #11 of 13

I changed it up slowly when ds1 was about 2 and 3 months or so? to just at nap time and bedtime (maybe a bit in the morning) and although my milk never totally stopped there was a lot less of it and I had moments of just wanting to stop. I powered through and the feeling came and went. (and came and went and came and went)

I nursed d1 9 months tandem with ds2 and I think it was a really good thing to transition to having the new babe around. at 3.5 i just couldn't take it anymore though and we had a big boy party with cake and ice cream and no more nursing. the first two nights there were some tears but it was okay and didn't last too long.

 

I understand the pain, this pregnancy ds2 is nursing ALL NIGHT LONG and it sometimes makes me want to scream. but he doesn't understand that 'Mommy's nurses are taking a nap' yet.. it just doesn't mean anything to him so I'm going to try and keep on trucking.

post #12 of 13
Thread Starter 

I thought I'd update about you all on how this worked out.

After I posted I was hoping my milk supply would increase as I started eating better as the 1st trimester aversions (to 99% of food) ended . I was hoping I would enjoy nursing DS again.

But to no avail. And you know what???? We're all fine with it, mostly. DS has been asking to nurse 1-2 times a day for the last few weeks and only for 2 min, stopped nursing to sleep and during the night pretty easily.

Now he is asking every few days, today when we tried it just felt weird and awkward for both of us I think, he only nursed about 30 seconds and I asked him did he want a cracker? he said "ya, cracker momma" smiled and ran to the kitchen. I think we are done, I am a bit sad its over and a bit disappointed I couldn't nurse him longer, but it kind of feels right. And I always said when it was not working for 1 of us we would stop.

So I guess things work out, DS is doing fine with out it. now I just have to figure out what to add to his diet instead.....

post #13 of 13
Thanks for the update Amanda....yeah, it's a really weird thing!!!!
When I wrote my post 4 weeks ago I honestly didn't think it was the end. But you know what.....it was!!!! And although I am sad, I am not nearly as distressed as I thought I would be after 27 months. He has actually only asked one time in the last 4 weeks, and it was a few days ago when he was overly tired and upset. I redirected him quickly and he was ok, because I felt personally like it would have been confusing to him to try and start up again knowing that I had no milk (I can't even express any anymore! Weird!). I felt bad, but it seemed the best decision for us.
I have to admit that I am happy to have a break before spending anothr few years on this road again. I loved breast feeding, but I am happy to be the sole owner of my breasts right now! innocent.gif
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