At the end of my rope with sleep stuff. 2.5 y/o

[sosurreal09]

She NEEDS a nap but fights it like hell. If she doesn't nap she is a wreck by 2:30pm. If she naps at 12:30 (what we always aim for) she usually goes to bed alright. If she naps any later she is up late.

Naps are hit or miss. I try to stick to the same routine daily and we have half success really.

No nap = early bedtime but hours awake (happily) in the middle of the night

late nap= bed at 10+pm and sometimes still hours awake (happily) in the middle of the night

good nap = 9 hours of sleep at night

She wakes up between 6am-7am no matter what. (even if she passed out at 4am after being up for 2 hours)

When she wakes in the middle of the night she usually jumps on the bed for HOURS straight.

I feel like every day is a struggle and a half. I'm due to have another baby in 7 weeks and IDK how I can handle this anymore. What can I even do?

[t2009]

Sorry I have nothing but sympathy to offer... I was coming on this forum to post something similar. These toddlers are making us all crazy I suppose!

I hope we both get some good advice!

[sosurreal09]

Oh man I'm dying! She will be dead tired drifting off on the boob then jump up and start singing ABCs or something equally as nuts! It is the WORST when she closes her eyes but then gets right back up!

[gypsymama2008]

Do you have a nap time routine?  That has really helped us-after DD eats lunch we read a story while she drinks some chamomile tea with a little honey, then we nurse, then she climbs into bed.  I think the tea helps a fair amount, we definitely notice a difference on the days she doesn't get it.  Also, after a certain point, she actually slept much better when we didn't actually nurse to sleep, when we were transitioning away from that I would rub her back and sing to her 'til she fell asleep, now she falls asleep on her own. 

So I guess the things I would suggest (if you aren't already doing these things) would be:

1. Make sure she's had lunch (DD sleeps so much better when she's not hungry)

2. Have a consistent bedtime routine

3. Try chamomile tea (if you and your DD aren't opposed)

4.  Try to transition away from actually nursing to sleep

5. Make sure the room she's sleeping in is quite dark (I know some people who've gone as far as to use blackout curtains)

6.  If possible try to have her play somewhere else besides the room she sleeps in so she only associates it with sleep.

7. Getting her outside into the sunlight a fair amount could help to regulate her internal clock

8.  I'm somewhat hesitant to recommend Rescue Remedy because I've read several studies that suggest it only has a placebo effect but I swear the minute I give it to DD she immediately relaxes-it was so helpful when we were night weaning because she would just pass out after I gave it to her, so it could be worth a try.

HTH

[sosurreal09]

We try to go outside before lunch, then we eat, wash up, brush teeth, read a couple books and nurse.

She won't drink the tea! I have tried!

She sleeps in our bed. She plays in her room. She usually "reads" in the hall if she won't nap while I nap (have a gate at the stairs). She goes to sleep often, not on the boob, but for naps she will only sleep if the boob puts her there.

We do have black out curtains ;)

[ashleyt]

Maybe I'm being silly, and maybe it is just my kid....but have you tried talking about what is allowed and not allowed when it comes to sleeping times? DS will understand what I'm saying and though he would get upset about following the rules we discussed, he *usually* goes along w it. However, when he doesn't choose to follow said rules....it is a whole nother story. Have you tried/considered rocking as a way to aid getting back to sleep? Also DS doesn't usually get cranky when he's teething, he gets hyper and won't sleep for anything unless I give him something for the pain. Could it be teeth or growing pains?? Just a few ideas since not too many ppl are offering help. Hang in there!!

[expat-mama]

Was following this thread as I follow all the crappy-sleeping toddler threads. Have you had any changes or success?

I'm also teetering on the edge of oblivion in terms of sleep and night-time issues. I read these threads and nothing ever seems to get better. All the well-meaning advice never works. Sigh.

I do hope you've had some improvements and have been able to rest a bit before the new one comes earthside.

[alicewyf]

My daughter will be three in June and the only thing that worked for us was cutting out naps. Yes, most days she will fall asleep around 1pm if allowed to, and some people would say she "needs" a nap, but it wasn't worth the 3-5 hour struggle for her to fall asleep at bedtime, at least for us. She sleeps about 12-13 hours at night, which is enough sleep for her age, and falls asleep within minutes. As long as your DD is getting enough total sleep, I wouldn't worry too much about when she gets it.

[sosurreal09]

Still about the same. Naps are hit or miss. With or without nap she is only doing 9hr nights now. 9pm-6am. Doesn't seem to be much I can do about it....
 

[katrinsca]

Sounds awful, and an awful like what we went through. Note, ours is not a fall-asleep-quickly-and-sleep-through-the-night household. However, for what it's worth. First, good to remember that as for most things infant/toddler related that I've experienced so far, these seem to be phases that somehow pass until something new settles in. The hope is that the new phase is better, until the next difficult one anyways! Second, as Alicewyf noted, what worked for us was to cut naps out. We did so prematurely, at about 2 yrs and 3 months, in part because our little guy never napped at his school and by the time he got home at 2:30 was napping way too late (until 4:30 or 5pm) leading to 2+ hr going-to-sleep marathons, following by several night wakings. So we stopped napping. For several weeks/months, he napped earlier on weekends, but weekdays, I simply kept him awake and dealt with some bad crankiness right around dinner time. However, he started going to sleep so easily, typically less than 15 mins, and woke only once most nights. Some months later, he didn't seem to need the naps anymore and everyone was MUCH happier. Our experience. Now that he's 3/5 yrs old, we have new sleep issues, and our 13 month old has her own, but those are for other posts! Hang in there, this too shall pass!

[crunchy_mommy]

We cut naps too, started not trying so hard when he turned 2 (and I couldn't take all the nap-time screaming!) and by the time he was 2.5 we had cut them out completely.

Once we TOTALLY got rid of the naps (but not sooner, when he was napping once every 2-3 days), I was able to get him to bed earlier.

My kid who wouldn't go to bed until midnight for 2.5 years, now sleeps from 8 or 9pm 'til 8am. I can't tell you what a difference it is to have him sleeping 11-12 hours a day. With naps he was getting 9 or 10 hours a day. I know most kids need naps well into the preschool/kindy years but my kid does so much better without that nap.

[bluedaisy]

I'm another one with a child with prolonged sleep issues (dd is 3.5) - we also don't do naps, she seems to wake up at the same time no matter what and we put her to bed around 7 or 730 - could you put her to bed a little earlier than 9?  I know you said she usually wakes up if you put her to bed that early.  DD's sleep improved tremendously when we cut out naps shortly after she turned 2 and she usually falls asleep in 5 or 10 mins whereas it used to take her an average of 45 minutes to fall asleep for naps and bedtime.  I just had #2 3 months ago and it's hard to have a newborn and an older child who is still not consistently sleeping through the night.  I don't have much advice, just lots of hugs and empathy for when your new little one arrives 
 

[sosurreal09]

If DD does not nap she does go to bed at like 7 or 8 but she will wake up at like midnight and be on crack for 2 hours jumping up and down, happy as a clam, singing! Then pass back out at some point and wake up at 6am still!

If she naps (any amount of time really) she is in bed by 9 and wakes at 6am.

Seems like I'm screwed either way LOL Although the middle of the night singing I can't sleep through and then I'm up all night...
 

[crunchy_mommy]

Originally Posted by sosurreal09 

If DD does not nap she does go to bed at like 7 or 8 but she will wake up at like midnight and be on crack for 2 hours jumping up and down, happy as a clam, singing! Then pass back out at some point and wake up at 6am still!

If she naps (any amount of time really) she is in bed by 9 and wakes at 6am.

Seems like I'm screwed either way LOL Although the middle of the night singing I can't sleep through and then I'm up all night...

 

Well if things are easier at night when she does nap, then I guess just stick with that. I'm all about the path of least resistance!!

But I will say, both day & night were really really rough when we were transitioning to no nap. You can't really say how well it works when she's napping some days and not napping others. For my DS, at least, he needed about a week straight of no naps for me to start to see how much nighttime sleep improved (and it got better over time & the more he adjusted to not napping).

Napping sometimes & not napping others and going to bed at varying times messes with her biological clock & makes it hard for her body to KNOW when it's supposed to sleep. Have you tried resetting her biological clock? Waking her at the same time every day, lots of outdoor time early in the day (or at the very least, bright light if you must stay indoors), no sugar/caffeine in the late afternoon & evening, set meal times, etc.?