Hello, I'm Kelley. I'm expecting our third child in early April, but am wracked with anxiety at the moment.
We lost our cherished first child, Isabelle, in May 2011 at the age of 2.5 very suddenly due to an aggressive virus that had reached her brain and caused fatal swelling (called viral meningoencephalitis). (www.bubblesforisabelle.com or Bubbles for Isabelle on Facebook to learn more about our experience.) And we have a son, 23 months old, who is well and happy and a source of pure sunshine for us. We were blessed with this pregnancy in July (as you all know!)...
But my nerves are on edge... Everything with this pregnancy has gone well, but she (it's a little girl) is trending on the small side (hovering around the 10% of size). She is active, great CTG reading on Friday (the first one we've had), and great pulsing of the placenta/umbilical cord. Basically, they say she could just be a small baby - but it just doesn't sit well as my other children were 7lbs13oz (Isabelle) and 7lbs7oz (our son Sebastian) - fairly average in size. Could she be small because of the stress? I can't find any solid evidence on this... Given the traumatic year we've had, and feeling like I can't bear too much more, I so concerned there is something wrong with this baby. When you've experienced a tragedy "that only happens to other people" you suddenly realize that anything can happen. I keep thinking of all of these rare genetic disorders or something... I can't bear the thought outliving another child or having a high needs child at this point - I know that makes me sound weak, but I guess I am right now.
So please, if you have any encouraging words or spare prayers - I would appreciate them. I think...I HOPE...I'm making a big deal out of nothing, but I'm just so worried.
Thanks for your thoughts.