or Connect
Mothering › Groups › August 2012 Birth Club › Discussions › Weekly Chat Thread 3/19

Weekly Chat Thread 3/19 - Page 3

post #41 of 154

I think it's very natural to want to reuse our favorite clothes from previous babies -- not just from a cost perspective either.  People have been offering me their baby girl clothes and I keep saying "this one is just going to dress in her brothers' clothes".  The truth is, I got rid of almost all of their clothes and the rest are pretty worn out, but I feel weird about getting/buying girl stuff for some reason??  Kind of sad that no one thinks much of it if you dress your girl in hand-me-down "boy" clothes, but they'd probably think it was weird if you put a boy in "girly" stuff.  (I do know one boy in the neighborhood that likes t-shirts and leggings like his sister, so that's what he wears).

post #42 of 154

I"m using this as an opportunity to save my "favorites" and get rid of the stuff I really don't like or that I don't really care about. I think this might be my last baby. 

post #43 of 154

ainh- Ive put my boy in pink and some 'girl' stuff.. no one has really ever said anything to me

post #44 of 154

Hello ladies! 

 

Had my scan today - the good news is the wee one is growing well and looking good. A punchy little squirt to boot! The not so bad news is that his/her legs were crossed and thus no gender was determined! I had a lovely technician who invited me back in 2 weeks to find out what the sex is. My OB was actually a little surprised that the technician had invited me back - she made a comment that a do-over for gender determination is not standard. I told her I didn't ask and that it was offered so I agreed to take it. But for a minute she sorta made me feel guilty for doing it over just to know what the sex was. I could just be reading too much into her comments... I was also annoyed that after my U/S I waited an hour just to have the OB tell me everything was okay and she'd see me in 4 weeks. This being my first pregnancy, I am not really familiar with these procedures and I guess I was just expecting more. But overall, we are just really happy to have seen how much our wee one has grown and that he/she is healthy! smile.gif

post #45 of 154

Sil, I am glad I am not the only one who didn't get to find out the sex. Stubborn kids! I'm sorry for both of us, but I felt kind of bummed! It is weird the tech invited you back, hopefully your insurance will cover it! I am going to go to a different place with better machines. My doc already gave me the order for it, I think she knew this was a possibility.

 

post #46 of 154

Hi all! 

 

 

Sorry Cecilia's Mama and Ninetails, that you are having to deal with the gender disappointment. I'm worried I'm going to be there if I find out I'm having a boy too. For me part of it is just the unknown, having grown up with just a sister and not even any boy cousins close in age.  And I totally get having an image in your mind of your family that's tough to let go of.  There’s also the logistics of absolutely loving our two-bedroom house, and having girl stuff already.  Luckily, while my husband won't actually admit it, I think he really does want a boy (and this will almost certainly be our last). He says he doesn't care the gender, he just really wants a child who loves to throw balls, which so far is not something my first daughter has shown any interest in, and not for lack of trying on his part.  But while I know it's not an exact correlation, I'm pretty sure he's a lot more likely to get a child who will share his love of playing catch and want to do so constantly over the long term, if it's a boy. And I have a feeling that in part, even if sub-conscious, this is just a coded way for my husband to articulate an underlying desire for a boy.  So I think if we find out it's a boy, while I'll have some disappointment I'll also be really happy for my husband. But we'll see. I feel like I really won't know how I'll react until I actually get the news.  Speaking of that, I just made my ultrasound appointment for April 5. I can't wait!  (Another late-August due date here, constantly behind :) )

 

I think whether to wait or not to find out the gender and how that will affect your emotions is such a personal decision. I don't have the will power to wait in any case so it's never really been an issue for me, but still I've always been scared of my grandmother's story about her sister, who cried hysterically in the hospital bed upon finding out her third was another boy and barely wanted to look at her son.  I want that initial moment with my child to be pure joy.  

 

All in all, it’s definitely shaping up to be a tough week for the group in the ultrasound department, of course first and foremost for DawningSun.  Still, in the non-tragic, but frustrating nonetheless department, I can't believe two babies in a row wouldn't position themselves right.  Here’s hoping we get lots of great news and excited mamas in the days and weeks to come!

post #47 of 154

rebecca10 - I doubt your husband would want to hear this, but my two boys have zero interest in throwing balls :) Unless they are made of snow!

 

 

I am very very happy we were able to find out (I called my mw's office and the receptionist told me :D),  I have the perfect name picked out already. We didn't find out with our 3rd, and that was equally as exciting. I like being flexible!

 

As for bedrooms, I have no problems with sisters and brothers sharing rooms for as long as they feel comfortable, as it is my two older ones (boys) are begging the youngest (girl) to share their room too because they think she must be lonely across the hall LOL  honestly I think she likes the downtime from them. I have no idea where this baby will sleep in another couple years.  I'm still a little overwhelmed, thinking I'll have three boys! Gah!

That 2nd bathroom has definitely been bumped up on the priority list haha

post #48 of 154

Sorry to double post but I forgot.

As for clothes, I don't have a problem re-using clothes from my other two boys, but really - after DD also wearing some as play/barn clothes, I will have some gaps to fill in.

We didn't buy hardly anything for DD, it was all given to us. Well...I've developed a weakness for nice sundresses for her.   So although they primarily wear hand-me-downs, it's also nice to buy some new things for each child that are specifically theirs.

 

post #49 of 154

yeah i agree.. sounds like its been a rough week for everyone... heres to a better week grouphug.gif

post #50 of 154
Quote:
Originally Posted by Waffler View Post

i love this constructive conversation...i feel really lucky to be a part of this due date month.

 

i totally hear what people are saying about picturing their families a certain way. obviously we can talk logic all day. for example, my sister and i are 8+ years apart and have had an on-again, off-again closeness. meanwhile, her and my brother (18 mos apart) are pretty close (he's the youngest). and of course we'll all love and treasure whatever little person we end up with...but i love how this group welcomes and affirms how everyone is feeling and provides a safe place to ride it out.

 

 afm, i'm feeling way behind the times. i guess with a late in the month due date, i'll always feel that way! i just rescheduled our anatomy scan for april 5th, i'll be 20 weeks and change. i was supposed to have my monthly appointment today but was rescheduled due to a birth (i see midwives in a very small practice, just 3 of them, so i guess that's the nature of the beast). since it's been about 4 weeks since my last appointment, i'm really looking forward to hearing the heartbeat and that things are moving along. feeling what i think is movement...some fluttering and occasionally thumping...which is cool. 

 

thinking of everyone as they get their scans and hear their news, whatever that may be!

 

colleen

Colleen, I agree, I love our DDC.  I was so nervous to join and participate in a DDC.  My sister's DDC for #3 is still active, although it is down to a single thread that has been moved from DDC, to baby, to toddler, and they just moved into childhood, and they still all keep in contact.  I was really hoping that I would click with the DDC I had in the same way and I feel like that could totally happen with our DDC.

 

I'm also late in the month, 8/29, so I've felt a little behind on everything as well.  The scan is the first time I've felt more inline with everyone, and that is just because ours got pushed up since B is moving.  It is also nice that I feel like I know more what to expect in the coming weeks because I get to talk about it here with people who have already experienced it. 
 

 



Quote:
Originally Posted by LeAnn A Doula View Post

My thoughts exactly. Honestly, it never occured to me that I might be disappointed about the sex of my LO. It got me thinking. For me, sex is just one ingredient in who this little person will be. The relationship I have w this little person is definitely what matters to me. Male or female, I think personality is going to be more important. I worry about having a child who hates reading and being outdoors and just wants to play video games all the time. How would I connect with that person??  I veiw of finding out the sex of the baby as more as a reveal of something that has always been. I have dreamed of what my family might look like but I would never want to trade the children the universe holds for me for the ones I've created in my imagination. To me that would be like buying and wrapping all of your own Christmas gifts!! I'm just so excited to see what I will get!..as long as he/she likes to read and play outside. winky.gif

 

I understand the emotions involved in letting go of the image of family you've been living with. But I really do think that you may still have that family - the closeness of siblings, etc - no matter what combination you end up with. It just may come in an unexpected package.


I'm worried my LO will be an indoor type person and just like video games.  B is huge into video games, and it seems like all his siblings are too.  I'll go over for holidays and they'll all be on iPad's and game systems sitting around the table, not talking to each other. When they do talk it is helping their little sister (10yo) figure out the next level in some DS game. It is so different from my family!  My family always sat around on Sunday morning all reading different things, comics, the newspaper, books we were each individually interested in.  I loved those mornings.  Heck, we still do it when we're together, that is our down time. And we're very outdoorsy, which B is willing to do with me, but not so interested in.  He does like to be active, and loves anything to do with crew, but he is more like go to the gym guy, not take a hike guy.  I'm excited and nervous to see how our family forms together.  It will be an adventure for sure. 
 

Quote:
Originally Posted by Lizbiz View Post

I guess it comes down to the fact that our children are gifts, rather than choices.  At least, that's the way it seems to me.  We don't really know who we're going to receive, or how they are going to impact our family, but that they are gifts is without question.  And that unknown can be a little disconcerting, especially for those of us who like to plan and who like to be in control.  I know that having my two kiddos - and having faced some unexpected challenges in their personalities and temperaments regardless of their sex - has really helped me to let go of a lot of control.  


Darn hormones, I got a wee bit emotional thinking about how this plays out and what you're saying. I'm excited to see what is in store.

 

post #51 of 154

Tizzy--yeah, whatever happens DH might be left playing catch with himself. He was an only child so he's pretty good at it ;)  I totally agree with the rooms thing. Whatever the sex, our kids will share a room for a while.  It's really more of a long-term concern, since if it is a boy and a girl I do want to respect their wishes when they do want their own rooms, and certainly by puberty I'd like to be able to offer them that option.

post #52 of 154


 

Quote:
Originally Posted by rebecca10 View Post

I can't believe two babies in a row wouldn't position themselves right.  

Oh hey, mine too! So THREE! My baby was at the very top of my uterus, transverse (head on my left, feet on my right), and facing my back. Basically it spent half the time acting like Superman and the other half curled up like an armadillo or a potato bug. The tech couldn't see enough to even guess. But because of the weird/difficult positioning, she couldn't get measurements of the heart, face, or hands. So I'm scheduled to come back in 3 weeks for those things, and hopefully the baby will be less shy then too! 

 

Fortunately, all of the things they DID see look good! My placenta is in the middle on the right side (part is anterior, part posterior) and my fibroid is the same size it's always been (~3cm) and is high on the left, so it shouldn't cause any problems. And we saw four limbs moving around, which was reassuring. 

post #53 of 154

 

Quote:
I'm worried my LO will be an indoor type person and just like video games.  B is huge into video games, and it seems like all his siblings are too.  I'll go over for holidays and they'll all be on iPad's and game systems sitting around the table, not talking to each other. When they do talk it is helping their little sister (10yo) figure out the next level in some DS game. It is so different from my family!  My family always sat around on Sunday morning all reading different things, comics, the newspaper, books we were each individually interested in.  I loved those mornings.  Heck, we still do it when we're together, that is our down time. And we're very outdoorsy, which B is willing to do with me, but not so interested in.  He does like to be active, and loves anything to do with crew, but he is more like go to the gym guy, not take a hike guy.  I'm excited and nervous to see how our family forms together.  It will be an adventure for sure.

Virtas this is very much my DH family as well.. its odd. They are all on their iphones or computers and have a very impersonal relationship, they know almost nothing about each other.. and then there is my family- my dad just got an email account a year ago and my mom still doesn't really get computers at all.. they read a lot and are vegans.. DH family are very much a meat/butter/potatoes family .. its really funny how different they all are.. and I love the outdoors/exercise where DH I have to force out the door to do much of anything not involving his computer..

 

eleuthia sorry you're number 3 on the no gender roll call.. this is really making me nervous for my scan monday.. Im so sick of not knowing I think I have actually just stopped thinking about it.. I was so nervous about having two girls, but now that I know one is a boy, I just decided the other is a girl for the time being until I hear otherwise lurk.gif

post #54 of 154

VV - Your family mornings sound lovely! My family was that way, too. We would all kind of do our own thing in proximity to one another. DH grew up spending his free time playing outside or listening to music alone in his room. Fingers crossed that video games will not play a role in our home as neither of us play. I just hope the sitting alone in the dark won't either. I'm planning to really limit screen time from the start and DH and I spend tons of time outside so hopefully it will be second nature. My fear is that we'll have a very opinionated LO (w 2 virgo parents and a dragon leo/virgo LO that's definitely not a stretch!) and we'll just end up asking each other who's kid did we get?? Lol! I think my mind just goes to worst case scenario sometimes. When I was little I used to worry about having a 'stupid baby'. I actually asked my mom in all seriousness, what she would do if she had a kid who wasn't very smart. shake.gif I agree, getting to know this LO is definitely going to be an adventure!

 

I have to agree that this DDC is awesome! I am so glad that I found this group. Being a Navy wife sometimes means being far from friends and family and the conversation, information and support I have found here has been a huge comfort for me. I'd love to see it continue as our LO's grow! stillheart.gif

post #55 of 154

Hi ladies! I am following the sex/gender discussion with interest. As a first timer, I am psyched about my little guy, but I had told myself that the odds were that it was a boy, given family history, so it would have been a surprise if I found it it was a girl. I think I would have been happy, but I can't say for sure.

 

Sil, I'm glad that you had a great scan and will get another chance to find out the sex.

 

I hope your other scan is more satisfactory, Boots! I am so so happy to hear that you are having a good feeling about your new ob!

 

Oh, Veritas, that is the one thing that worries me about a boy (video games). I feel comfortable raising a boy because I was 8 when my brother was born and I did a lot of the raising (at least in my memory) since my folks worked so much. Plus, I babysat all the neighborhood boys. All were/are major gamers. Dh loves sports and the outdoors like me, but every winter he has intense bouts of online gaming, then he decides to quit suddenly, comes back to reality. I don't mind a bit of video games for my child, but it seems as though today's games become all consuming and I have to admit that I dislike that.

 

I'm glad your scan went well for the parts that were visible, Eleuthia! And you get another peek soon, so that is good. 

 

Hope your other little one gives up the goods on Monday, ithappened!

 

It is funny to hear about babes not being cooperative because today ours gave us another totally clear shot of the boy parts, which the perinatologist pulled up when we joked at the end that my mil wasn't entirely convinced with what she had already seen. My boy lets it all out there! 

 

Our scan went well. This time it was just with the perinatologist and he wasn't as fun as the tech we had last time. He went right for the parts he needed to measure, checked the cervix, placenta, and only gave us a few pics (13 the first time, 5 this time, but 4 of those are pretty much the same profile shot with the arms in a different position). He just said that everything was perfect and we don't need to go back. My placenta is also far from the cervix now, so that worry is also alleviated.

 

 

post #56 of 154

andaluza congrats on a boy! I think having a boy first is the easiest (or at least thats what Ive been told). Boys also seem to like to 'air out' a bit in there making the parts easier to see, or so it feels :)

 

 

Do most of you have TVs?

 

We only have computers and DH youtube/video/etc time makes me nuts.. DS is also very much into youtube 'time' and I hate it. My mom keeps suggesting we should get a TV for once the twins are born- and while I would love it for myself and all those up all night BFing-a-thons, I don't want DS to be glued to it 24/7 the way he is when he visits other peoples houses with one.. I did a lot of audio books when DS was a baby but not sure how well those will work with a louder household of many more kids.

post #57 of 154

We have a TV, but it is just hooked up to the computer.  No cable, and we don't even hook it up to get basic channels.  I think I would spend more time watching TV than B (he has his video games) if we actually hooked channels up, so I don't want to add it.  Even though I would love to have Food Network and the Discovery, Science and Learning channels.

post #58 of 154

We have a TV upstairs that's not even plugged in.  I'd like to get rid of it altogether.  We do a lot of Netflix and Hulu watching, but I was raised that TV was strictly off limits on school nights.  As a result, my family spent a lot of time reading and talking together.  I'd like to do the same with my kids.  I was thinking audio books would be a good idea for BFing and so on when baby is little (partially because I love having something else to do when I clean, etc.), so we may do that.  DH is definitely addicted to TV, and I've already told him that he has to hide that from the little ones if he keeps it up.  I wish he read more, but he's just not a reader.

post #59 of 154
Quote:
Originally Posted by bootsvalentine View Post

Sil, I am glad I am not the only one who didn't get to find out the sex. Stubborn kids! I'm sorry for both of us, but I felt kind of bummed! It is weird the tech invited you back, hopefully your insurance will cover it! I am going to go to a different place with better machines. My doc already gave me the order for it, I think she knew this was a possibility.

 


Thankfully my appointments and scans are covered by our provincial healthcare (I'm from Toronto), so no worries about the insurance. I thought I'd be more disappointed to NOT find out, but in fact, I was just really happy to see the little squirt moving around in there and knowing that he/she is healthy. That's not to say I don't want to find out...I do....but waiting another 2 weeks doesn't bug me. Let the countdown to April 4th begin! When's your next scan? 

post #60 of 154

Andaluza - Congrats on your little boy! It's good to hear that your scans have gone so well. My fingers are definitely crossed for our scan on the 6th!

 

We do have a TV, no cable but we get local networks, PBS, etc. I didn't have one for years before this move but my Dad lived w us for a few months and he considers it a necessity. Plus I think DH likes having one but he won't admit it. We're huge movie people, lot's of Netflix. I'd like to keep it switched off during the week as well. Growing up, the tv was always on in our house. It's such a brain drain, esp for DH, he calls it the glowing box effect. The audio books are a great suggestion!

  Return Home
  Back to Forum: August 2012 Birth Club
Mothering › Groups › August 2012 Birth Club › Discussions › Weekly Chat Thread 3/19