Bittersweet moment- PPAF showed :-/.
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Spring IVF Thread: Bring on the BFPs! - Page 18post #341 of 5474/24/12 at 9:44pmpost #342 of 5474/25/12 at 4:45am
blue - I'm not sure yet if I'm going to POAS. I've never been a POAS'er, but I want to this time. Hubs and I have talked about it, but not sure yet. Beta is a week from tomorrow, but the crap about that is that I'm out of town that day, so I can make it in for the blood draw, but I don't really know if I want the news while I'm out of town for work, just in case it's bad. Ugh. I'm going to call them today, so I'll see what they say. Yeah to AF starting! Let's get this show on the road!!! I can't wait to get all the updates!!
deborah - I'm sorry hun, I imagine it's tough. Big hugs.
rcr - Can't wait to hear from you today with some updates!!post #343 of 5474/25/12 at 4:54am
Blue - Yay for getting started!!
Deborah - sorry.
I have to gett o work, so I am going to skip more personals.
This is how my three appointments went:
#1 - totally not impressed. They brought me to the back, and a few minutes later a very young student came in and started asking me questions. I said to him "I thought I was meeting with Dr. X), and he said that he is here to ask me some questions, then he will go back and talk to dr. X and then they will both come back and talk to me. So I had to tell him about my history and everything (which is long and compicated), then he left and came back 20 minutes later with the doctor who just told me what we should do (did't ask any questions - I guess because the student had told her everything). What she thought that we should do was another IVF, with a similar protocol that I used before (minor tweeks, such as adding estrogen). She could not give me a good answer for how she thinks that it work this time if we had zero fertilization the last two times.
#2 - this was with the big donor egg office. I was really impressed with them. They were nice and very professional. I sat down with the doctor immediately, and she talked with me for about 45 minutes to an hour. She listened to my complete history (asking LOTs of questions), and finally said that she does not think that repeating IVF again will give us a different result, and it does not make sense to do it again if we have had two cycles with zero fertilization. We talked a lot about donor eggs (I cried at first when hearing that, even though it was expected). There are two different programs there - a fresh donor egg program where you get all of the eggs from the donor (usually costs about $30-40,000!), and a frozen donor egg program, where you get to thaw six eggs, and if you don't get two high quality blasts to transfer you will get another try until you do get two high quality blasts to transfer for free. That costs about $19,000. The problem with the frozen egg option is that it is considered experimental by insurance companies so most (including mine), won't pay for it. So, when it came to talk about cost, I learned that I will have to pay oop for about $13-14,000 for whichever option I choose. They are out of my network, so I have to pay 20% (plus the payment of $7,000 to the donor, which my insurance does not cover) for the fresh donor cycle - which is really expensive to begin with, so my cost would be about $14,000. The other option only has a few testing things covered by insurance, so my cost would be about $13,000 plus $1,000 if we had any leftover to freeze. So, for those prices, it looks like a fresh cycle would be the best choice, since we would likely get more eggs, and have more to freeze in case it didn't work and we need a FET. I left there thinking that this is what we would be doing (until I got to #3). They have a ton of donors (70 to choose from), and they are very carefully screened. I was worried that DH would grumble about spending so much money, but he was totally ok with it, even thought we don't technically have most of that money right now.
#3 - telephone with Sher. He told me what Blue thought that he would - that I was not on the right protocol. He thinks that we could try again with my own eggs with a different protocol, which I still have to read about on their web site. We could go to Vegas for 2 weeks, with DH meeting us there for a week or so (although that is not necessary if he sends his sperm out). DS could come with me for the whole time. They seem to have a really smooth system for out of town cyclers. I would have to be there on June 18, which is the next cycle (they cycle people all together), and start BCP with my next period (next week). They don't like much of what my protocol was (they don't like menipur, or adding gannirelix later in the cycle) - he said that he thinks that too much male horemone makes egg quality poor. He was not overly confident that it would work, but he did say that if I am looking to move on to donor eggs, and if I am still unsure, trying this may give me closure. He said that some people move on to donor eggs before they are ready and have a lot of regret later. He said I could still save my last cycle for donor eggs, and even if I don't get pregnant, I may still have frosties left from it since the average number of eggs collected is about 10-20. Overall, I really liked that he seemed to be helping me, and not just giving me a sales pitch. He also didn't really seem to care if I went to them or not or did my own eggs or not - instead just wanted to give me his opinion. He did say that donor eggs would give me the highest chance of taking home a baby, which was not a big surprise.
So, I am leaning toward #3, but part of me thinks it makes more sense to do #2. I left right after my sher phone call, and didn't get home until 10 pm, so I have not had a chance to speak with DH about it, but I know he will do whatever I want. He may be more inclined to do #3 too, just because of the lower cost (it is covered by our insurance, and we would just have to pay for the trip to Vegas, which is a pretty cheap place to fly into, and you can get some good deals on hotel rooms. Plus, I am not working this summer, so the timing is perfect. I have been thinking about going somewhere with DS for a few weeks this summer anyway, and we could rent a car and go to the grand canyon between retrieval and transfer.
I would love to hear what you would choose, or if you have any thoughts. We have two more tries under our insurance.post #344 of 5474/25/12 at 7:51am
RCR: Given that you have 2 tries left and #3 is on your insurance, I think you should try once more w/your own eggs. You obviously need to know you tried everything and since you aren't paying out of pocket, why not? Then you can still do donor egg if it doesn't work. I would probably start picking a donor now and get everything lined up, just in case - bc they often have wait lists, etc. That way you hopefully wouldn't have a super long wait time between tries. Curious - did he tell you what protocol he thinks you should try? And as for RBA - I have seen amazing success come out of their clinic. But it seems to always be the frozen egg program. I think they only select the best eggs for it. But I'm sure their embrryologists are also top notch and hopefully would be able to pick out the best for you on a fresh cycle as well. But if you look at their SART stats, their donor stats are actually much lower than what it on their website. That is bc SART is for fresh and their website lists their frozen stats as much higher. So I would feel more confident doing frozen, despite getting fewer eggs. Unless you are ok having to keep doing FET if the fresh doesn't work. I'm glad the consults mostly went well! Grand Canyon sounds great!
Cindypost #345 of 5474/25/12 at 9:48am
Vegan - yea, that is what I am thinking. But you know, the price for RBA is the same with insurance or not, so even if I use my last two tries with IVF, then the price for frozen donor eggs at RBA will still be the same. Not sure if I want to risk it, but anyway, it does give me hope. I think that the sher protocol is the antiagonist/agonist (the one that the discuss quite a lot on their web site). I also like how accessable the doctors are there. It was really really hard to talk to my RE (they don't give anybody their email addresses), but Dr. Fisch gave me his email address and said to email him any time.post #346 of 5474/25/12 at 11:23am
rcr Is doctor #3 suggesting the estrogen priming protocol? I've read really good things about it for women with egg quality issues. I think if I had to make that decision before I had my kids I would have gone the egg donor route I was desperate to be a mommy and I was sure I would love the baby no matter what. Also the BFNs after fertility treatments were heart breaking so I would want to go the route that could give me a better chance of a baby. Now that I have my kids I think I would try harder to give them a full sibling and would probably try again with my own eggs. Of course with these kind of decisions you can say that you are sure that you would do X but when you actually have to decide is not as simple as that. Hopefully you have a good talk with your DH and yo get some clarity about making a decision whatever you choose it will be the right choice.post #347 of 5474/25/12 at 11:41am
rcr, if it were me I would go with option 3. You said you might not have your insurance that long so may as well get another shot with that, and the costs traveling ect for Vegas are usually very reasonable, and the timing seems perfect for you. It sounds like RBA (option 2) would give you the highest odds, but since it is not covered by insurance, maybe do that next or when your insurance runs out since it will always be an option at out of pocket cost. I am not familiar with RBA, but from what Vegan says, I kind of like the frozen option since it's a guaranteed baby. Is this your "last" baby or whould you be looking for a future sibling, because maybe then the fresh makes more sense. Also the only way I wouldn't do Sher first is if you (or DH) only want to do one more cycle, then I would go with the highest odds. I am happy you have 2 great options to choose between!!
to everyone else!post #348 of 5474/25/12 at 12:28pm
Thanks Belly, and Keira. I emailed Sher today and said that I am going to go for it. Yes, Keira, it is estrogen priming, I think. I need to figure out exactly what it is, really. I am not entirely sure. Belly, yes, it will be our last baby. I am 38 now. If I BF for 2 years, and am pregnant for nearly 1 year, I will be 40+ if I tried again. After IF for 4 years, I will be more then happy with just one more. I am thinking exactly when you said, Belly. If our insurance goes away, or if we run out of IVf tries, we could still scrape together enough money to afford the frozen egg donor cycle at RBA, so why waste a free try with that option, if I can just use my own eggs if insurance will pay for it.
post #349 of 5474/25/12 at 2:04pm
rcr - glad to read your update about all the appts yesterday and I'm glad to see you were able to make a decision already too. I take it DH is aboard? I think I would have gone w/ #3 as well. I think it sounds like the best option and then you will know for sure if you can or can't use your own eggs. I'm so excited for you!!! Also, how fun to be able to be off work and spend that time with DS as well in the summer. I think it sounds like fun even though you will be going through treatments at the same time, at least it is a new place, a new city and you know what they say... what happens in Vegas, stays in Vegas. LOL Just kidding!!!!! Couldn't help myself. Okay, so God forbid, and I don't think this will happen out there but just thinking back on your prior experiences and I'm always the one that thinks about the "what ifs" in every situation.... If for some crazy reason something happens where you have to cancel the cycle while you are out there what happens then? I think with them they make you wait out one cycle (that might just be between BFN cycles though), so then could you just go back in Aug or what? Like I said, I'm just thinking ahead, but really don't think it would happen b/c they really seem on the ball there. When you get preg. w/ your Vegas baby I'm going to so wonder if they could have given me mine too?!?!?! I just know it. Guess I'll just have to always wonder. I'm excited to hear about your protocol. That is the same one they told me I'd be on as well if I went to them. I have everything crossed for you for that cycle.
Deborah - Sending 's your way!!!!
Hope - what did you find out about your beta test and being out of town?? Hope it works out that you can either go the day before or after. Maybe if you just get a positive HPT you won't have to worry about it. That is the practice that I got my BFP like 4 yrs ago w/ our IUI and they let me get my beta done like 4 days early b/c i had a + hpt. Fingers crossed for you!!
AFM - had my blood work done later in the day today, so I'm not sure if I will hear from them today or tomorrow. DH is out of town on a business trip for the day in Boston and his flight gets in at like 11:30 at night and then he has to drive like an hr 1/2 home, so it is going to be a late night tonight. I'm excited b/c I'm meeting a friend out for dinner and we are going to get Indian! Mmmmm!!! DH doesn't like it, so i have to splurge when he is gone. I've had this stupid headache the past 2 days and I'm wondering if it is from the Lupron (weird it is starting now but maybe w/ the hormones from AF and the lupron it is throwing me out of wack) or maybe sinus related. So annoying so i'm hoping to hear that I can drop my dose down to 10 units soon. I am going to be starting the Prednisone here soon too so if it is sinus related that will for sure kick it in the butt. That Prednisone, even though I hate it, is the bomb for allergies and asthma!!!!! I guess there is at least something good about it. Hope everyone else is well.post #350 of 5474/25/12 at 6:04pm
Blue - hope you enjoyed your night out for Indian. Yes, I have thought of the possibility of my cycle being canceled while in Vegas. Especially when I was looking at flights, and the cheapest flights of course are always nonrefundable and nonchangable, so basically unless I get a really expensive flight (not really practical since I have to bring DS), then I will just be stuck there if my cycle is canceled. Not sure what to do about that, although maybe I could fly standby to go home early if that happens. the lady at Sher who helps with out of town arrangements was not there today, so she will probably send me an email tomorrow. I am s excited about you getting started!post #351 of 5474/25/12 at 7:18pm
rcr- Hey I just read your story and your thoughts on your options right now. It sounds like #3 might be a good choice and can always move to choice #2. It is understandable for exhausting the options for using your own eggs and if it is covered. Than you may not have much to loose with that choice. I shouldn't even try giving advice I am not really. I just feel for you because in my own head I would be torn between #2 and #3. I am not sure what I would do, but it does make sense to try one more time with your own eggs and have it taken care of with insurance to also have closure too. I also see, if you are thinking you want to move on to donor, I could see that working for you too. Also, hopefully having good embryo's left to frozen.post #352 of 5474/25/12 at 7:24pmpost #353 of 5474/26/12 at 3:10ammexilady - I'm so excited for you!
milk - it's totally understandable that a TTC forum would make you feel awful right now. Its hard to imagine anything more difficult than what you are going through. Something that might interest you: I heard a show on the radio the other day about going to India for surrogacy, apparently it's pretty popular due to the price. I will definitely look into that if ever I reach the point where it looks like I have no chance of giving birth to my own child (I also found out on the same show that surrogacy is illegal in Canada ).
AFM - it's 6am and I'm on my way to the hospital. I thought it was ridiculous that they wanted me to be there at 6:30am, but I totally see their plan now! I'm so tired that getting "put to sleep" pretty much sounds like the best idea in the world! Talk to you all on the other side!post #354 of 5474/26/12 at 3:26am
just stalking. RCR, i totally agree with your choice of #3. It just seems like it would be a good choice considering it would be covered and you were so up in the air about a donor baby. I look at it as a vacation where something good may happen ;o) I also traveled for my cycles (not as far as vegas of course!) and for the fresh cycle, I was down at my clinic for almost 2 weeks and DH and I took every opportunity to explore the place as we waited for them to retrieve and transfer the eggs. The more I hear about the Sher institute, the more I like them. Anyway, I'm so excited for you to start your cycle.
Hope, I'm excited for you this month!
Hi to everyone else!post #355 of 5474/26/12 at 4:20ampost #356 of 5474/26/12 at 5:13am
rcr - Wow, sounds like the appointments went really well! At least the second 2. I think you made the right decision to go with #3 and keep #2 as the backup, just in case.
blue - they changed my beta to next Friday. Ugh. I don't think I'm going to be able to take it. I'm thinking I'm gonna test for sure. My bloating has gone down some so that worries me, but I'm still hungry and now I'm starting to get up at night to pee. I'm keeping my fingers crossed. How was the Indian? Oh I hate the Lupron headaches, I'm sorry that you're dealing with them.
Sourire - Good Luck today!
AFM - Beta moved to next Friday, but I'm pretty sure I'm gonna POAS this weekend. I'm just not sure I can take it, the wait is killing me. My bloating is going down and my weight has evened out so now I'm starting to get a little worried. I had spotting with my last failed IVF, and no spotting this time, so I'm keeping that in mind. Especially since I'm a big spotter (like I tend to spot a week before AF shows). I managed to keep positive for a week, but it's hard when you feel next to nothing, you know??? (although I still can't get enough pickles! I brought a jar in to work and am eating my first one of the day now. Yep, at 8:13 in the morning. I think I'm craving salt, which I do have a very low blood pressure which only got lower when I was pregnant with DD, so I'm hoping that's what it is!)post #357 of 5474/26/12 at 6:49am
Sourire - you are always welcome here I hope the surgery is going well.
Rena - I didn't realize that you did an out of town cycle too. Did you stay in a hotel for the two weeks? Did you have to fly there? I am still waiting for a call back from Sher, so find out how people do it, logistically. If they fly with a huge box of meds, how long they stay, when their DH comes out, etc... I have a lot of questions.
Deport - good luck at the appointment. I hope you come out of it with a firm plan for moving forward.
Hope - If I had to guess, I would say that you are pregnant. Your eggs were so high quality, and y our cycle was so perfect, it seems like the perfect combination for a bfp. Plus peeing at night is a big sign. I would test too, if I were you.post #358 of 5474/26/12 at 10:25amHi all, just crashing by and love stalking u ladies.
RCR-just wanted to let u know Sher has chat rooms and there are lots of stuff on there about travel. They also have chat rooms for each cycle they do and u can talk to the other woman who will be traveling at same time of you. We were gonna go to Vegas but decided to use Sher institute in manhattan and had success on our 1st cycle there with 2 prior failed Ivf at another clinic. Luv Luv Luv sher institute glad ur going.
Hi to everyone else and good luck to all.
BLUE-always praying for u my dear friendpost #359 of 5474/26/12 at 12:34pm
Hi all ,
Just a quick pop in to say hi so sorry if I miss anyone.
Debhoura: thinking of you
Blue: So glad your finally on your way again! I so hope this works
rcr: glad you found some options that look good. I hope it goes well.
Deportivo: hope your doing well. I've just been invieted to a babyshower at work and don't know whether to go.
Hope: good luck for when you POAS! Hope your tww is going well.
Hi to anyone I missed.
Nothing happening for me, waiting till my appoinmnet next week to see whats happening for my next cycle.post #360 of 5474/26/12 at 5:22pmThread Starter
rcr- sher buddy! i still don't meet dr T for two weeks, but i am pretty definite that i will be using them. my last RE was going to have me do estrogen priming too. the way they described it to me, i'd start taking estrogen on day 21 of my cycle, through my period, and then continue taking it while on stims. i don't know if sher's protocol is different, but i guess you'll find out soon enough! i am curious if they are going to do estrogen priming for me, or just put me on a lupron protocol, which i've never tried. hooray for fresh beginnings!
hope- hooray!!! i am still keeping everything crossed, but this pickle obsession has to be a good sign.
blue- sorry about the headaches. hopefully they will go away soon. how was your indian food? it's sooo good.
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