(crashing from the IF thread)
Ahhh Hope!!! It worked the first time!!!
hi ladies! sorry i've been so quiet, we went away for the weekend to visit friends. i had one last party before starting up again, and it was good to let loose.
rcr- sounds like you've got everything under control! it's nice to see that you were able to start things so quickly, i was worried that there would be a lag time after my consult before they got us started. you're being smart about the extended stay hotel. it should be a nice time to spend with DS!
blue- your FET is coming up so quickly! This is excellent. how are you feeling? i am sure cutting the lupron in half will be nice. and abby is adorable! i love that guilty pet look. such a rascal!
hope, HOORAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! i think this is such great news, and it seems like everything really fell into place for you! i wish you a happy and healthy pregnancy!
deborah, nice work on the trip planning. it's always so nice to get away.
belly and rcr, how are you ladies??? how are the pregnancies going? i need to sneak over to the graduates thread and catch up! it's lovely that you ladies still come and check up on us, it feels good to be reminded that success is possible.
afm, i have to finish filling out my paperwork and then i'm going to have DH mail them over to SIRM so that they have everything they need for my consult on May 8.
Yay Hope!!! Congrats. Your cycle was too perfect to not get pregnant!
Aura - ha, yea I knew what you meant. I am excited to see how your consult goes. It seems like they tell everybody the same thing - that they are on the wrong protocol. See my AFM below about my protocol.
Blue - glad you got to have some fun before your cycle! I think that DS and I are going to go there for the full 12 days, and DH is going to join us later - for transfer and retrieval.
AFM - a few of you asked about my meds. MY protocol is really complicated. The schedule is color-coded, with every med being a different color. Ill try to summarize: Take BCP from CD 3 when I get AF (which should be next week), until 5/29. Before I end BCP, I start 10 units of lupron and dexamethasone 5 days before stopping BCP (5/25). After stopping BCP I continue with lupron and desam. for two more days. Then I end Lupron, and add 125 of gannirelix (which is half a shot) and stay on that until egg retrieval (I think). I do just gannirelix and dexam. for about 10 days, except for two days in there I do estrogin in my butt. Then I start follistim on 6/11 at 600 units per day. Continue that all week, and add Luvaris (which I have never taken) for two days that week (Tues and Thurs). My schedule only goes up to June 18th, because that is when I have an appointment in Vegas, and they give me a calendar for what do do when I get there. They even have a folic acid that I have to take starting on 6/11.
HOPE!!!!!!!!!! - Awesome!!!!!!!! So excited for you!!! Are you going to call the office tomorrow and see if they will let you get your beta done early? When are going out of town for business again???? Can't wait to hear your number for those twins..... LOL ;o)
rcr - interesting protocol. What is the name of the folic acid?? Interesting. So how many days total as far as you can tell from the schedule you have now are you on the dexam?
Kewpie - good to see your pop in!!!! Hope the babes are well!!
Aura - May 8th will be here soon!!! Can't wait to hear how it goes!!! I guess i kinda have mixed feelings about this last shot we have w/ our May FET. In a way I always try not to get my hopes too high since we haven't had much luck with the last 5 transfers we've done, but this past FET cycle i was a little more hopeful b/c we had this new diagnosis and a new protocol w/ the intralipid/prednisone treatment and all, but then when it was negative I was again disappointed and it hurt a little more than I expected, so this time I hate to say I'm a little skeptical b/c I really try to always be that "glass half full" type of person, but I'm a little nervous that we may end up w/ a BFN once again and then it's all over for us, which in a way totally breaks my heart. I'm a little emotional today for some reason, so I really shouldn't be talking about it b/c already i have tears running down my face as I type this and no one has even given me bad news yet. ("Come on Blue pull yourself together" - is what I'm telling myself). It's just one of those days, and I think I'm just stressed b/c i have a crazy busy work week and too many other things on my plate as well. I'm sure the extra lupron hormones add to it as well.
I have been gone for awhile becaus of the internet connection out here in Kuwait! Sucks! I am trying to catch up on eveyones status!
To catch you ladies up on me: we were hoping I would start my menstrual cycle on my own this month. It didnt happen. =( So, I had a dr appointment and she poked at my cervix to try to help me start. I havent started yet. Its only been about a day or so. She also started me on Progyluton. I have 2 frozen so once I start bleeding we can start the next cycle.
deborah - Yeah for some trips planned! The black hills of SD sounds awesome!!!
rcr - Wow, things are moving so fast, that's insane! Glad you found a hotel for a good price, and the extended stay is a great idea. I'm sorry that you don't have anyone to watch DS, I imagine it's going to be tough. OK, your protocal seems insane. I've never heard of a couple of the things, I'm curious as to how they all work! I'm assuming that maybe the Luvaris is the antegon? Interesting that they have you start with Lupron but not continue.
blue - Yeah for reducing the Lupron! That crap is the devil LOL. It's getting SO CLOSE! I'm so excited for you! Ha ha ha at the sock thief. After hearing stories it doesn't surprise me!
Sila - feel free to crash anytime! Thank you!!!
aura - Oh how I love the paperwork. I'm excited for everything to get going for you again, can't wait for the consult!
blue - I actually am going to leave the appointment as is. I don't want to get stressed over low beta numbers, just in case. I am going to pick up a couple more tests today though, hoping that the line is getting darker! I'm out of town on Thursday, but just for the day. My husband thinks that it's twins, so we'll see. I'm sorry that you're having a rough go of it. I completely get it though, as we went into this fresh cycle knowing it would be our last, and knowing that in the past we didn't have any to freeze. So I'm going to keep my fingers crossed that this is the one that will work for you!!!
Kali - Sorry that you didn't start on your own! Hope it comes soon so that you can get this show on the road!!
Thank you to everyone for the congrats! I have to admit that now I'm all nervous it's not the real thing. So I'm going to pick up a couple more tests tonight and make sure that the line is getting darker. This morning I woke up and was SO drained it wasn't even funny, but I'm guessing that's from the lack of sleep the other night. Although I did get a nap in yesterday, DH was awesome about that. I was also very very thirsty, which was something I dealt with during my first pregnancy, so I'm hoping it's a good sign. He thinks that both the embabies settled in, I really don't know for sure. We both admitted that we just somehow *knew* it worked, so maybe his instinct is right. I feel like I'm in the twilight zone, it's still sinking in.
Blue - I am so sorry. I totally understand feeling down. I feel like this is my last try too. But trying something new is always a really good thing, right, and the interlipid thing is something that is new for you (well, except the last time), so hopefully it will work this time. You had three embies left, right? One in a single tube and two in the other? So do you have to thaw the double tube this time, but put one back in? Keep positive, my friend. To answer your question about the Dexam. - I am on it for the whole cycle - which is 3-4 weeks (from 5/25 until egg retrieval). Why? Do you think that is too long? I don't know really understand the protocol.
Hope - I think it is twins too. Can't wait to hear what your beta is. Luveris is apparently like menipur, I think.
Kali - is that weird that she poked your cervix? I have never heard of that before. Anyway, glad to see you back.
Hope: Yea! Congratulations! I am soo very happy for you.
RCR: Luveris mimics naturally occurring LH. It aids with follicular developement. So glad that you made a decision that you feel good about. I am keeping my fingers crossed that this is your cycle. Good luck!
Blue: I am sorry that you are feeling sad. We have all been there, and it stinks. Thinking of you my friend. Love the picture of Abby!
AFM: Still having a lot of fatigue and hunger. Some nausea, but not too bad. Thinking of all of you!
blue, we are here for you! like you and rcr, i am scared that this is also my last chance. or at least the last one insurance covers, and then it's a whole other ballgame. you just have to try to play the odds, keep yourself calm, and trust in your dr. i think you've really got a great team behind you, but i am like you.. i'd rather be wary, i feel like it hurts less.
rcr, your schedule is insane! that's way more than i've ever been on, and i am assuming you as well. however i think SIRM is a place you go when other places haven't worked, so they probably have a pretty good idea of what they are doing. i hear dr sher is a real big fan of additional folic acid. i hope this is the magic combo!
kali, sorry to hear af hasn't come yet. i'll keep my fingers crossed for you!
hope, so excited for you! your dh sounds really awesome, and i think it's totally fine to keep your regular appt. then your re can give you some outrageous beta number for the twins that are probably in there!
afm, i think i'm really freaking out about my appt next week. i've just been hopefully too many times, been excited too many times, and have been heartbroken too many times. i feel like i am putting all my eggs in one basket with SIRM, and i know that it's still not a guarantee that it will work. if i go through the whole process and STILL get a bfn, i think i may lose it. so while i'm excited to see what they have to say, i'm also terrified.
Hope, YAH!!! Congrats! Let us know how the other tests turn out. I'm in the camp of twins. :o)
Blue, Rcr, Aura I know it's so hard to continue to hope day after day. I am just sending you loving vibes in hopes that your next sessions lead to your babies!
Kali, I hope you get to start soon. I've never heard of poking the cervix starting the bleeding either but hopefully, it wasn't too painful (it definitely doesn't sound comfortable!)
Deportivo, I've been following along with your story and I hope you're feeling better. I wanted to jump in and say that how you feel is how you feel and if you don't feel up to going to SIL's shower, then you really shouldn't. I felt a similar way with my SIL while I was TTCing and having a hard time of it and although I did go to her shower, she and I are closer than it sounds like you and your SIL are. Taking care of yourself has to be a priority. Good luck with that!
ok, back to lurking. I'm following you all though and hoping that we get a lot more BFPs soon!
praying - glad you're feeling pretty good!
aura - I'm so sorry that you're having a rough go of it too. We have too many on here that are on the low part of this roller coaster ride right now, and I wish I could help make every last one of you feel better!! I hope that SIRM can give you your hope back. Try to stay positive, although I know that's easier said than done sometimes.
Thanks again to everyone! I didn't have a chance to go get more tests yet, so I'm going to do that today right after work. I'm going to pick up a couple regular ones and a digital one, here's to hoping that they are darker lines and one say 'Pregnant!'
I feel so bad for those of you that have been here for a while, and here I sweep in and it works the first time, even though I'm still in the stick baby stick stage. I know I've had my own road to hoe and I've been through some tough times, but I hate seeing others still in so much pain. It breaks my heart. Please know that I continue to cheer everyone on! Here's a really big group hug.
Renavoo- Thank you for the support. No, we are not particularly close but things have gotten a lot better between us since she got pregnant and I have put in a lot of effort into making things work with us. At one point however long, I did get a few positive pregnancy test while she was pregnant and I was really excited to be pregnant with her and wanted our kids to be close in age.
But last night I sort of got an overwhelming sense of peace about everything and my entire situation. I know that this is a journey and it is a painful one. I do have peace though that God has a plan for this and I know that He has heard my prayers and is continuing to hear me. So, I just think that His plan is for me to wait for Him. I will wrestle with God until He blesses me, I think that is part of my journey.
Last night I had a dream- it started with me noticing that my SIL was not pregnant anymore. At first I was confused, than I realized that she had the baby without me realizing it! So, I was relieved that she wasn't pregnant anymore and I didn't have to be a part of that process anymore and it happened so quickly. I then saw her baby. Her newborn baby was soooooooo precious and so beautiful. Whithout hesitation she let me pick the baby up and play with her and look at her as if she was my own. I woke up after and realized that I had been torturing myself and wrestling with comparing my expecting with her expecting. I just realized that that doesn't matter anymore to me. My journey hurts but it doesn't have anything to do with her or her baby! I am just grateful to be able to have a new baby niece near me and hopefully I will have a part in her life and get to see her a lot.
I couldn't see this before because of my own pain and struggle with this journey. I am glad that I see it now, I know God will give me a baby and he has blessed me as being an aunt to another baby. Babies are very precious to me and so is life, I think that I can find the strength to be a part of her special time without anxiety anymore. I know that God will bless me with my own baby, and I imagine that the baby outfit I bought would be worn by my newborn baby soon.
Hope!! - I am soo happy for you!! I cant wait to know about the new tests you purhcase!! YAAAYY!!!
Deportivo4 - Hello! Keep your faith in God...He always has a plan for us. I stay in prayer about my sitaution as well (and everything else in my life ). God is good!!
Also, my apologies ladies!! I do not know what it is referred to exactly. I will ask next time I go in. I do know that She has done it before and it has worked to start my menstrual cycle. We tried that first before they went in and did the scraping of my uterus a few months ago. I have started spotting, I am hoping for more of a flow though. I have another appointment on sunday the 6th. I guess from there we will know what our next steps are.
deport - It's very interesting, because right before we got this cycle going I had been doing a lot of praying. (Prior DD mentioned here) - I had to wean my DD to get things started, and I had a very hard time with it, knowing that IVF wasn't a guarantee. I was afraid I was weaning and it wouldn't work, and I would regret weaning. On my way to work one day I saw the sun rays come through the clouds and felt this overwhelming sense of peace. I know it was God giving me what I needed at that moment, and I almost think I knew in a way at that time that the IVF would work. It made everything OK, it really did. OK, and silly as it sounds I'm now crying as I type this message to you. So you're right, he is hearing you. I had to keep praying that I knew I wanted his will to be what happened. Maybe this is easy for me to say right now, but it seems so similar to what you're feeling, I wanted you to know how it turned out for me! The dream sounds strange, but I'm so glad it helped you to see beyond your journey. Wow, that means you're a very strong woman! When we were dealing with primary IF I don't think I could have done that. At the time I had a difficult time trusting in God though, so maybe that's the difference. Big hugs to you!!
kali - So strange! I've never heard of this before either, but it sounds way better than inducing it with drugs. Let us know what they say on Sunday!
AFM - I took another test this morning, and it came up nice and dark. Now I know it's not just leftover trigger, it was such a beautiful thing to see! I talked to the nurse yesterday (had some questions about my vivelle patches as my calendar had me ending them tomorrow - she said no, not yet). Anyways I mentioned that I thought I was so we talked about my having tested. She was so excited for me, and she did offer to move up my beta. I told her the same thing I've mentioned here (or was it on the ONE thread?), I don't want to stress about numbers, so I'll wait until Friday. For some reason I feel it's the best idea, so I'm going to let it go. I know I'm pregnant right now, and I'm going to enjoy every minute of it, just in case. I did get a digital too, I'm going to take one of those because I want to see that word.