When will you have people come meet the baby? « Back to Group Discussions

[MamaInTheDesert]

How soon after you give birth will you have people come meet the baby?

I know my parents, in-laws, and brother in-law will want to meet him that day. I figure I'll wait at least a couple of hours and have the midwives leave, and get at least a bath before I invite them over.

I do have some friends though that have expressed that they want to meet the baby ASAP. I just don't know how soon I really want to have them (and their kiddos) over to be man-handling the little guy.

And, on a separate, but kinda the same note, are you going to be telling people when you're in labor? My mom would be really hurt if I didn't tell her. But, I really don't want to deal with a million phone calls for updates while I'm in labor.

[kjourdan]

With my first, we called my parents to tell them once we were at the hospital, and I called the friend I was supposed to be meeting for a movie that day to say I wouldn't be there.  They knew that after we talked, we would call them when we had any more information, and they shouldn't call us....maybe you can set that expectation too, before you're even in labor?  That you will call and tell her, but after that she should wait to hear from you....

This time it is different because my parents will be coming to care for our daughter so we will need to call them as soon as I think labor is starting, so they can head our way (they are 3 hours away).  It's a whole different ballgame trying to figure out a plan for our daughter while we are at the hospital.

As for visitors, I don't foresee having anyone but extremely close family and my best friend over in the first week or so.  

[sraplayas]

Hmmm...probably we'll call our priest to come over and bless baby at the birth center or once we get home. Then my M&FIL will be coming a few days later.

The only other time we'll have people over will be on the eighth day naming (a really cool tradition in our Church), and we're just talking half a dozen for under an hour.

It's nice to just nest during that time and let mama and baby transition. :)

[KristaDJ]

No one but those of us in my house will see the baby for the first two weeks at least. After that I will probably invite my dad and brother and sister to meet him/her; my mom has an apartment in our house and will likely meet the baby the day of the birth or soon after. I don't want the baby exposed to a lot of different people and their germs though so I am very strict about visitors. 
I won't even tell my husband or kids when I'm in labor I'll just do it and they can figure things out on their own lol I don't do well with observation and I just don't like people knowing and knowing that they are wondering and waiting for updates. 

I'm pretty selfish about my births and babies; I want things how I want them and how I want things to be for my baby and I don't really care about what anyone else wants or thinks about it. I used to be really concerned with pleasing everyone else with my labors/births/babymoons and it just didn't work out for me. 

[yellow73]

I tend to not tell anyone that isn't coming to the birth that I am in labor.  I start feeling stage fright if I think everyone is waiting for it to happen, lol.  We tell my mom right after birth because she gets in the car to come visit (she lives 4 hours away) but she takes care of the kids and the house, and me, so it's not like entertaining.  I don't have anyone over right away, if friends stop by in the first few days it's for very brief visits, like 15 minutes, to bring food and whatnot. I don't like anyone's kids to come over for the first few weeks, and I am not one to really pass the baby around.  Not sure how things will go this time, but am hopeful that I'll get lots of rest with my teenage sister as my nanny for a few weeks, but it's harder with two other kids, so we'll see. Ideally we wouldn't leave the house at all for a few weeks, but I'm sure I'll need a chiro visit or two and probably take baby to meet ped and get basic check-up done.

[yellow73]

I should add that we don't have any family living closer than 4 hours away, I can see how it might be harder to stay isolated if you have a big family around.  I would just make it clear that visits are to be very brief if that's what you want.

[rebirth]

I'll have a phone tree of like minded friends to tell when my birthing time starts.

my mom will meet baby the same day, and likely take noah out to play as well. other then that it'll be a few days :)

[Nicole730]

My parents will be here for the birth, so right away.  Last time my brother and sister both stopped by for a quick visit the day of and the inlaws visited over the weekend.  After my first and some not so fun experiences, I set limits on how many can visit at a time and for how long.  If I do not feel like letting anyone hold the baby, I do not let them.  tough.  For sure no kids are allowed to visit, I tell my friends this.

With my first my inlaws came over with 7 people and played pass the baby the day after I got home from the hospital.  I sat there trying not to cry, urging my husband to get my baby back for me.  Ha, I am tearing up just thinking of how I felt.  It was awful!  

[Monkey's Mum]

Wow, I really have to think about this. Last time it was winter and I didn't have a lot of close friends near me. My mom was at the birth and stayed to look after me and the house and my in laws came only for an afternoon a few days after the birth. This time I am in a neighbourhood with several families who have become close friends of ours. I won't be able to hide my labour and homebirth since people notice strange cars here:) And everyone is sooooo excited that I am going to have a baby. Maybe I'll have to just bring him out to the front and let people look from a distance (especially the kids- ds friends) and let everyone know I don't let anyone else hold the baby until his immune system is fortified a bit.

[acordio]

With #1 we let everyone know and I ended up being the pot of water that everyone was waiting to boil, a room full of people playing pass the baby and me exhausted.  With #2 we did tell due date or when labor started. We called everyone when he arrived but didn't take visitors until we got home.  We were only in the hospital for 24 hours and were sharing a room for half that time and really wanted to just chill.  The labor was REALLY long and we ALL needed rest :)  The trickle of visitors once home was perfect :) #3 was a home birth.  We shared when we were due but didn't call anyone until after she arrived.  She was born in the evening so we didn't have anyone come for a visit until our kids got to meet their new sibling the next day.  It was great.  Now I will say this time we will be limiting how long folks stay.  They seemed to think because we were home it was ok to have a long visit vs the hospital short visit :)  So I think this time I will be fine for grandparents to stay for a couple of hours but everyone else needs to be limited to 30minutes or less.  We had friends stay over for a few hours and it was painful.

[becoming]

Everyone will know when I go into labor, FB post and all I love love love sharing that time with as many of my loved ones as possible -- my favorite part of the whole thing! We've had something crazy like 40 people waiting at the hospital with each of our babies... yeah, the hospital staff loves us.

[phathui5]

I'm not planning on letting anyone come over for the first week, unless I decide on a postpartum doula (then she can come). We will call people and let them know.

[frioct3]

I don't plan on telling anyone I'm in labour or the baby was born until I'm back home, which should be within a few hours of the birth.  

I know my parents, inlaws, and our siblings will be eager to come over right away.  I think it will depend on the time of day we get home if we let them come that day or the next.  Hopefully we'll do it in two small groups, one my family, the other my husbands.  I don't think we'll have any friends or extended family for at least a week and probably closer to two or three.  

[wanderinblues]

im not going to call anyone when i go into labour, i dont think. except my mom and the midwife who will be there and DSDs mom if its daytime and DSD is at her house because i want her to be at the birth and will send my mom by to pick her up. i know my few friends will be really excited to hear i am in labour, but its not about them :p and im the type to quietly get on with things without telling anyone.

i think i will call a few people over to meet the baby maybe the next day, like a couple of close friends. im just going to play it by ear and put out the word that no one should expect to drop in on us.

[rhiandmoi]

We're going to call our parents and text a couple of friends when we go to the hospital, but I am not going to have visitors in the room until after I've had a shower. I am on the fence as to whether MIL will be in the room while I'm in labor, but hopefully she won't want to be in there. Hopefully she'll wait to drive down until she hears the baby is born. 

[iowaorganic]

Anyone bring food is welcome to come :)  My mw suggests that you wear a nightgown for the first week so that when visitors come they don't think you are there to entertain them and then they don't stay very long either- it is a good idea and one I will finally listen to.  After our last home birth  the baby and I took a bath and were tucked in an napped for quite a while before DH's grandparents brought us supper- they are awesome and didn't stay very long because it is sooo exhausting!  Also- my mw hangs a sign on the door telling people to only stay for 15 minutes and while they are there to fold some laundry or whatnot :)