I have managed to put on a good face for most people- I save being real, petty, and just letting go, for here.
Pregnancy and I don't get along. I don't want to be pregnant. This is kid #2 for me, and the unknown of number one isn't here for me to be all interested in. I feel more like it's a job. I'm trying to get things right that weren't last time. Using what I learned to make this more tollerable (thank god for mint!).
I'm not stressed. I won't let myself be. But I'm not that "Woo-hoo!!!!" all my friends seem to be whenever they are having a baby... then again, I'm not that close to them, so if they were cranky about it, I don't think they'd tell me.
I would like to be happy. I would like to be excited. I can't seem to muster it. I think I just want that to be okay. I want to know that it's alright to be disenchanted with growing a baby, and that it's all going to be okay. I mean, it isn't like I don't want the baby- I do. If I didn't, I would have done a better job at using my birth control.
I am looking forward to mothering. So, I don't think it's a big problem...
There's just so much going on and this might ruin my chances of getting work after I graduate - people aren't likely to hire pregnant women, they're going to need to leave soon, garunteed! And we were kinda counting on me getting work to help us have the money we need for a home loan. I'm one quarter from my AA, and here I am pregnant... I feel dumb, but at the same time, I was just telling Hubby that if we were going to have another, we should get crackin' 'cause I didn't want DD to be too much older than them.