or Connect
Mothering › Mothering Forums › Mom › Parenting › Blended and Step Family Parenting › One parent moving away - How do you deal with wardrobe?
New Posts  All Forums:Forum Nav:

One parent moving away - How do you deal with wardrobe? - Page 2

post #21 of 23

My situation works out quite nicely, so I'll divulge on the custody, wardrobe and travel arrangements.  My daughter's father has moved away twice, the first time 260 miles away, and now 480 miles away.  My daughter (age 8) stays with my husband and me during the school year, with her dad visiting at least one weekend a month.  If there is a long weekend (according to the school calendar) that is the weekend he visits.  She spends six weeks with him in the summer, from the 4th of July until the week before school resumes. 

 

Wardrobe:  They're her clothes.  If her dad asks me to pack something specific for the weekend, trip or summer, I do it, and the clothes are returned with her.  If there is something that she needs when she's with him, he buys it and it gets returned with her.  If there is something specific that she wants to bring with her, she brings it.  There's no need to duplicate.  There IS a need to communicate.  Your kids will thank you.

 

Travel:  Her father moved away.  Before he moved we discussed how the travel would work. In my eyes, it was his choice to move, so he needs to provide his own transportation or his daughter's transportation in order to fulfill his parenting time with her.  He didn't see this as entirely fair, so we compromised.  For school year visits, he's responsible for his/her transportation.  For the summer stretch, I drive/fly/train her down, stay the weekend, and return home.  I drive/fly/train to pick her up.  It's the easiest for her.  We've had to be flexible in some cases, but above all, it's what's easiest for my daugther. 

 

The simplist situation usually just involves open communication with your child's other parent.

post #22 of 23
Thread Starter 

Thanks for sharing. That definitely does seem fair and kind of what I've been leaning towards. And yes, open communication between the parents is always best, though the more I get involved and witness my SO's relationship with his ex and the more I understand it, the more I realize I don't think that will ever happen :( It frustrated me at first, but recently he really sat down and talked to me about her and their relationship, etc...he most likely has PTSD due to the abuse she inflicted on him for 8+ years and I don't think I can ever expect him to totally recover from that. He does the best he can for his kid's sake, but she's still abusive. I feel terrible that he has to be in such close  contact with his abuser and there's nothing I can do about it...no way to really protect him from it. It sucks.

post #23 of 23

Eventually, though... the kids come to their own conclusions. They see who's playing what games, and who's trying to make it right. It takes time, and a lot of patience. But if you do what you know is right? The kids WILL see it. Trust me.

 

In an ideal world, both parents would take the high road and do right by the kids. But all too often, one or the other doesn't. It's a shame, but it is what it is.

New Posts  All Forums:Forum Nav:
  Return Home
Mothering › Mothering Forums › Mom › Parenting › Blended and Step Family Parenting › One parent moving away - How do you deal with wardrobe?