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[Bena]

I just found out yesterday, through an US, that the foetus (i can't call it a baby, right now) stopped growing 5 weeks ago, and somehow, my body didn't miscarry. I'm waiting for news of my midwife.  I have to get a D and C to clear things out.

I'm upset, obviously, but more angry that my body held on for a whole month. I started to have doubts about this pregancy at my first ultrasound, when the technician dated the pregnancy at 10 weeks, when, according to me, it should've been close to 12 weeks. I guess that was a sign that things were not going well. It seems the development stopped not too long after that.

I can accept a miscarriage at 10 weeks...it's still early....but I have a really hard time accepting that my body let me on for 1 month. I felt "off", but just thought I was being paranoid, and still had hope that things were going to be ok after all.

Well, I know, that in the long run, things will be ok. Just right now, it SUCKS!! (sorry, I'm angry!!)

Oh...and to make things worse (like they could be!!) my cat died tuesday. Crap, when it rains it pours!!!


Thank you for listening!!
bena
xoxo

[momtoafireteam]

Bena, I'm so sorry for your loss. How devastating. I hope that its taken care of quickly and with the least amount of pain possible. Blessings, mama. 

[Jend1002]

Bena - I am so very sorry. 

[Carlin]

I'm so sorry for your loss Bena.

[cryswilkins]

I am so sorry.  

I had a D&C in October for my loss.  I lost the baby 3.5 to 4 weeks before and my body was showing no signs of letting it happen naturally.  The recovery was not as hard as I expected it to be physically and I was back to my normal activity level in less than a week.  I hope that you can find peace in whatever happens.  I was very angry as well.  Visit the Loss board they were very helpful to me.

[hyde]

Bena, I'm so sorry. For both of your losses. So much bad news at once. I hope you're finding some comfort somewhere. Peace to you.

[mole]

I am so sorry Bena. For both of your losses. I am wishing you comfort.

[calpurnia7]

Bena, I am so sorry for your loss.

[Sarah Temkin]

So sorry for your loss Bena!  My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family!

[Carson]

Bena, I am so sorry for your loss.  I lost a 6w fetus at 10w and felt the same way as you - betrayed and angry at my body for letting me go on for so long thinking I was pregnant.  Please take the time you need to heal from your loss, I know how hard it is to move forward. 

[judybean]

I'm so, so sorry for your loss, Bena. May light, love, and peace surround you.

[2sweetsparrows]

I am so very sorry for your loss- It does just plain SUCK!!  big hugs!  

[Milano]

So very sorry to hear your news, Bena.  Life can be so cruel.  I had 2 missed miscarriages.  I started bleeding at 9 weeks, had u/s baby measured 6 weeks, and passed it shortly after.  So there wasn't really any waiting.  Then second one I had u/s at 9 weeks baby was lifeless measuring 9w1d so must have just happened.  I started regular acupuncture and chinese herbs and it still took 3 weeks to pass baby.  It was difficult but because I personally wanted to pass it naturally, I was prepared for the wait.  I think it just takes time sometimes for hormone levels to drop and things to start.  I'm so very sorry you have to go through this nightmare.  Please make sure the docs give you all your options.  Sending you lots of healing and peace to get through this heartbreaking time.

[mamalovex3]

So sorry to hear of your loss Bena.  *hugs*

[MamanFrancaise]

I'm so sorry, Bena.